Seductive Truths (Seductive Trilogy) (38 page)

    
‘
I just want you safe Alex,
’
he finally says, tone desolate.  He looks up, eyes lock and all I see is sadness.  It is pervasive and reveals his troubled soul. 
‘
I don’t think I can do that.
’

    
Oh God.

    
‘
What are you trying to say?  Tell me Gareth, please, I need to know.
’

    
‘
I don’t think you should be here anymore.  With me.  Go back to your life.
’

    
‘
What life?  I have no life, you made sure of that!  I couldn’t go back to it even if I wanted to.  Not now that I know the truth.  How am I supposed to face Maggie and Bethany knowing my fiancé,
my
fiancé, the man Bethany adores, killed her father and Maggie’s husband?  I couldn’t…I just couldn’t, I…
’
I am working myself up in a state just thinking about it. 

    
How can Gareth be doing this to me?  

    
‘
Alex, Alex, Alex, shhh, Alex, come here.  Come here,
’
he draws me into an embrace. 
‘
It’s okay, Alex, everything will be fine.
’
  Warmth spreads throughout my back as his hand creates little circular movements. 
‘
It will all work out for the best, you’ll see.
’
  Heated moisture presses against my temple. 
‘
You are something special, remember that.  Whatever happens, always remember that.
’
 

    
I don’t like the sound of this
.  The way the words rolled off of his tongue leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

    
‘
You are beginning to scare me now.
’

    
‘
I’m sorry, that’s the last thing I want to do.  I just want you to realise that I may not always be here.
’

     I jerk back to look him in the face.

    
‘
And what do you mean by that?
’

    
‘
Come on Alex, you’ve had a taster of my life.  It’s not exactly a bed of roses.  Not one day is the same and you’ll always be looking over your shoulder and second guessing.  That’s not the life you should have.
’

    
‘
But you could change,
we
can change.  You could get a job, a legal one, we could move into an apartment together, start a new life away from London.  There is nothing to keep us here so why not.  It’s possible, we could…
’

    
‘
No Alex, we couldn’t, can’t you see?  I will never be able to have that life you described.  I’ve tried it once before and look where that got me!  It’s simply never going to happen.  And as for nothing to keep us here, that’s right in my case, but in regards to you, you
do
have a life in London.  Your job for starters and then there is your sister-in-law and niece, plus Zoe, your best friend.  So you see, you have everything going for you.  As for a man in your life, well, I’m sure it won’t be long before a strapping young lad grabs your attention, sweeps you off your feet and captures your heart.  You’re a gorgeous woman Alex with a lovely personality, how could a man resist?
’

    
‘
But I don’t
want
another man, I want you!
’

     A deep sigh rumbles through his chest and his crystal eyes shift their attention to some meaningless thread of fabric that has woven loose from the hospital blanket.

    
‘
I wish it were as simple as that,
’
Gareth mumbles to himself. 

     What am I expected to say to that?

    
‘
Alex,
’
he continues
more
audibly. 
‘
Why don’t you go back to your family and friends, visit Maggie and Bethany and get back the normality you need.  Maybe then you’ll be able to think clearer on what you actually want.
’
  I go to protest but am rudely interrupted. 
‘
At least go back to see them to let them know you’re not dead.  They deserve to know that much.  I’ve caused enough trouble as it is; I don’t want to be responsible for a family breakdown as well.
’

    
I don’t know if I can face them though
.

     But as I peer deep into Gareth’s eyes I see his unspoken wish.  He needs to be alone, have time with his thoughts and this is his subtle way of telling me to get lost.  And though it pains me to say it, I agree.  Maybe he is right; I do need time away from him to get my head straight.

    
‘
Fine, but I don’t want you to leave.
’

    
‘
Well it’s not like I am going to go anywhere soon now is it,
’
he says while lifting up the wire and tubing linking him to monitors and other vital medical equipment.

    
‘
Hmmm, well Nurse Harding has my number if anything happens…
’

    
‘
Just go will you,
’ a smile
joins the twinkle in his eye. 
‘
I’ll be fine,
’
and he almost shoves me off the bed.

    
‘
Okay, I can take the hint.
’
  I bend down for one more lingering kiss.  The smooth oaky taste of
lingering
whiskey sizzles on my taste buds leaving me drowning in its flavour. 
‘
Don’t disappear on me.
’

    
‘
I won’t…
’

    
‘
Promise me.
’

    
‘
Alex…
’

    
‘
Promise me Gareth.  Promise me I won’t come back to an empty bed.  I need to hear you say it.
’

    
‘
I promise Alex.  I promise you won’t come back to an empty bed.  Now go.
’
  I make a move to leave but hesitate. 
‘
Alex,
’
he says sternly.

    
‘
Fine, fine, I’m going.  I won’t be more than a day or two.
’

    
‘
No rush,
’
he smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.  An uncomfortable feeling starts to brew in the pit of my stomach. 

    
He’s up to something and by the look on his face it can’t be good.  I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.
      




     Off to see Maggie. 

     I don’t know how I’ll be able to face her but I know I must.  What am I going to say to her?  Of course she is going to ask questions about my sudden disappearance, but I can’t exactly tell her the truth, can I?  No, not if I want to keep Gareth safe.  Oh Christ, what a dilemma! 

     Turning right into Clemons Street the houses get progressively nicer as the taxi travels further into the heart of the estate.  Hedges are shaped, electronic iron gates secure the properties and the road is decorated with evenly spaced out trees on the pavement.

     Finally we pull up outside the house with a royal red coloured door and a fur tree growing in the front garden.

    
I have arrived.

     Paying the driver I step out of the taxi on shaky legs.

    
I don’t think I can do this.  Oh get over yourself Alex, you’re made of stronger stuff than this, where’s your backbone.  Get a grip!

    
‘
Okay, deep breaths.  Sooner or later I’d have to face them, might as well be now.
’

     As each step draws me closer my heart increases its pace and my stomach turns over and over and I feel the need to be sick.  The creaking of the iron gates only heightens my already highly agitated state.

     Closing my eyes and taking one last reassuring lungful of air I go to ring the doorbell.

    
‘
Coming!
’
a smile graces my face as I hear Maggie’s chirpy voice drift to my ears, then a slight clonking of objects and a curse word. 
‘
Bethany!  What have I told you about leaving your toys at the bottom of the stairs?  Would you kindly come and take them up to your room please before I trip over and break my neck?
’

     Thunderous stomping comes from within and I imagine Bethany running down the stairs with a frown on her face.  The sound echoes about the place again as I presume Bethany returns to her bedroom.

     Then with a click-clack the front door swings open to reveal a slightly dishevelled Maggie.

   
‘
Hello, how may I…
’
but her greeting dies along with her cherry smile as soon as she realises who has come knocking on her door.

    
‘
Hi Maggie,
’
I reply sheepishly. 
‘
Can I come in?
’
 




    
‘
So let me get this straight.  You and William had a huge argument after he caught you acting a bit too familiar with another man and now neither of you are speaking to each other and instead of talking to Zoe or myself, you decided to disappear for a few days without leaving word of where you had gone in order to get your head together?
’

    
‘
Yep, that’s pretty much it,
’
I say after taking a sip of my tea.

     After a couple of minutes of hysteria I finally managed to calm Maggie down enough to explain my fabrication of a story and now we are sitting on her sofa having tea and biscuits, typically British of us.   

    
‘
What I don’t understand is, why?  You could have come to me; I thought you knew that, especially after all we have been through these past seven months.
’

    
And the guilt digs further into my gut.

    
‘
I had to be on my own for a while.  You know what I am like Maggie.  Before I speak to anyone else about situations I let it run havoc in my head, try to pick it apart.  I know it’s not the healthiest way to sort through problems, but it’s a coping method of mine.
’

    
‘
I know Alex, I do know, it’s just that I’ve been so worried after I couldn’t get hold of you.  I thought something happened to you.  But your explanation explains a lot.
’

    
Explains a lot?
The teacup pauses on its journey to my mouth.

    
‘
What do you mean?
’

    
‘
Well, after several unsuccessful calls to your mobile and house phone I decided to go over to your place.  However, when I was approaching your door, William came rushing out, almost knocked me over!  His clothes were unkempt, hair dishevelled and he had this wild look in his eyes.  I asked him what the matter was, to which he replied,
“
The bastard’s going to get what’s coming to him,
”
and without further explanation he hurtles down the stairs and out of the building.  I haven’t seen him since.
’

    
Oh no.

    
‘
William must have some serious jealousy issues.  After all, you were only being nice to the guy.  It’s amazing how your perception of a person can dramatically change in the space of a few minutes.
’
 
If only you knew Maggie, if only you knew.

    
‘
I guess I am better off finding out now rather than five years down the line.  Don’t want to end up with a jealous husband.
’

    
I need to stop this conversation. 
I can’t bear lying to her any longer it is doing my head in!  With each untruth I utter is another puncture to my heart.

     Abruptly I place the saucer and cup of unfinished tea onto the coffee table with a clutter and go to stand.