Self Confidence Secrets: How To Overcome Anxiety and Low Self Esteem with NLP (7 page)

The second aspect, our concern for how others think of us is tied in with this as well. We do not want to disappoint people by breaking the identity they have for us. This is why you'll often act one way around older friends and another (usually better) way around newer acquaintances.

Ok so how did I use these two aspects to make a radical shift?

I created a new identity for myself, as someone who does not drink but has fun anyways, and posted it publicly.

If you must know the soup had peanut butter in it...oh and I posted the declaration on Facebook. One of my higher values is integrity and authenticity so when I posted that I would not be drinking for one year or else (there was a negative consequence attached) I instantly knew I would follow this. If I broke my promise I'd either have to take on the negative consequence, which I'd never do, or have lied to everyone I know.

I didn't drink for the year and then some and you know what? It was easy. It was easy because drinking wasn't a part of my identity and so the decision making process was eliminated. The first few weeks were a bit rocky as
EVERYONE questioned the changes and tried to test if I was serious but once things settled in I gained momentum. In fact, if I was to drink I would have disappointed people I cared about who were routing for my new identity to succeed.

You may find the same thing in your life. At first when you make big changes people resist because they do not like change. They are critique your decision and test you to see how serious you are.
Pretty soon though the change becomes the norm and people will now resist you regressing and actually reinforce the change you made.

It's important to remember how much momentum and habits shape our lives. Making changes or starting new things is exciting but can be tough at first. If you stay determined pretty soon you build a lot of momentum and it's hard to fail. Typically a lifelong habit/change goes through a 30 day cycle before becoming 100% solidified. The middle 10 days are the hardest as your initial excitement has worn off and you haven't yet build full momentum. By day 20 you're picking up serious momentum and by day 30 it is harder not fail than succeed.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

So we're in the homestretch here. You have done amazing work with me here in this program. I'm honored to be a part of your transformation.

Before we conclude, let's take this momentum we have and use it to create some bulletproof systems to help continue your growth.

The first thing you want to set up is a simple tracking and accountability system. You know what will work best for you. The important thing is that you are keeping track and recording your experiences and growth SOMEWHERE. It's been shown that the very act of tracking our behavior significantly improves it.

Some options could be:

A journal where you simply write your thoughts once or twice a day.

A whiteboard or chart where you record progress for categories important to you each day.
For instance I rate myself each day from 1 to 3 (1 is bad, 3 is great) on categories such as growth, courage and discipline.

A celebration board/journal/website...really anywhere you can write down your accomplishments. When you write down and celebrate everything great you do you are training yourself to do more great things. Before bed reflect on your accomplishments each day.

In the end the most important thing is to pick a method you'll do and be diligent about. If you find your approach really isn't working it is OK to try another way.

So now that you're tracking your progress there is just one last aspect we need to add: People.

Think of all the good people in your life. If you won the lottery or just landed your dream job, who would you call?

Think of and list the 5 first people you'd call and write their names down somewhere (section 3.3)

Now look over the list and cross out any Debbie Downers. You know the type. You'd be so excited to call them to share the great news and they'd instantly find a way to bring you or the event down.

So cross them out.

Now circle two people from this list whom you most admire.

Once they are circled read on.

Ok now these two people are going to be your support beams, cheer leaders and biggest fans moving forward.

You will:

1) Approach them to share what you're going through and the progress you're making. You'll then ask if they'd be willing to support you through the process by being there to call and discuss failures and accomplishments.

2) You'll then be in contact with them at least once per week to discuss all your successes.

3) When you're not in contact you can still keep them in mind. If you're ever slipping into old patterns you can think of them. You'll naturally live up to their expectations for your success.

"Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success." –
Oscar Wilde

Wow. You've done it. You've completed our program. More importantly, you've stepped up and transformed yourself. You've demonstrated your commitment to succeed. You've demonstrated your commitment to break through struggles of the past.

Are you ready to get out there and enjoy this beautiful world of ours?

Of course you are!

Now get out there and live the life you are meant to have!

Live with Courage and Confidence,

Dan Johnston

About The Author

Dan Johnston is a #1 international best-selling author, speaker, coach, and recognized expert in the fields of confidence, psychology and personal transformation. As a coach, one of his specialties is helping clients discover their natural talents, apply them to their true purpose and creating a plan of action to live the life of their dreams.

Dan has been a student of psychology, personal change and social interaction for over a decade. His passion for helping others feel and be their best drive his continuous pursuit to understand exactly how people work.

Dan's educational background includes a degree in Psychology from a world renowned University, training with Anthony Robbins at his Leadership Academy, and NLP Practitioner Training with Harry Nichols.

In his personal life, Dan has turned his dreams into reality. Between 2012 and 2013 he lived in 5 new places: Costa Rica, New York, Germany, Italy and Spain. Today Dan calls Germany his home base but insists “Home” is wherever he hangs his hat for the week and frequently travels throughout Europe.  Dan spends his mornings writing new books and his early evenings on Skype working one-on-one with his coaching clients, supporting them in creating their own dream lives. 

To learn more about Dan Johnston and his coaching services visit:
www.DreamsAroundTheWorld.com/coaching

For free articles, interviews and resources on entrepreneurship, pursuing your passions, travel and creating the life of your dreams, visit Dreams Around The World and subscribe to the “Business Takeoff Training”:
www.DreamsAroundTheWorld.com
 

Find more books By Dan Johnston on his Amazon Author Central Pages:
Amazon.com: 
http://www.amazon.com/author/danjohnston

Amazon.co.uk:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B00E1DO6OS

If you'll allow me, I'd like to introduc
e you to my coaching services.

Let’
s start with a simple question:

If you were to think of your “dream l
ife”, what would it look like?

How would you earn a living? Where would you travel to? W
hat would your days look like?

Would you rather wake up to a beautiful ocean view or rolling hills and wineries? Do you prefer hot or cold sum
mers?

How about if you just had total freedom and the choice to de
sign your life as you want it?

Or at the very least, were able to figure out exactly what it is you do want from life!

How would you like to feel day to day? Confident? Empowered? Happy? Relaxed?

This is where having a personal coach can help.

If you are unfamiliar with coaching, let me offer a brief introduction.

A coach is a bit like a psychologist in that you meet with them regularly an
d spend a lot of time talking.

Ther
e are a few significant differences though.

A coach focuses on your strengths and what you want to achieve, not what's "wrong
" with you or holding you back.

Psychologists often work with actual crazy people while coaches work with people e
veryone just thinks are crazy.

Coaching is an opportunity for you to regularly meet with someone who
have been where you are and can help you reach where you want to be.

Coaching is your chance to gain the strategies and motivation you want to overcome your chall
enges and achieve your dreams.

Professional coaches have been around for thousands of years. Although often under different names, their purpose has a
lways been to serve others in understanding themselves and achieving their goals. 

The UK's Chartered Institute of Personnel Management reports that 90% of companies use coaching and 51% 'consider coaching a key part of learning development' and 'crucial to their strategy'.

"I have a coach because I can't see myself swing"

-Tiger Woods         

To Learn More About Coaching Visit:

www.DreamsAroundTheWorld.com/Coaching

To Your Success
,
Dan Johnston

P.S.
I wanted to share this letter I received from Cindy who is one of my coaching clients and gave me the OK to share her story with you.

“I was introduced to Dan by a friend of mine who is a very experienced executive coach and thought he would be the perfect fit for me. At the time I was just about to "restart" my design business; I had taken 3 years off after having my daughter. I had a "successful" business before, but this time I knew I wanted more from it. I want my business to not only support me financially, but also to support me in creating the balanced lifestyle I want for myself and my family.

I've been wanting to write a testimonial for Dan but couldn't think of the right words to use. The other day I wrote a referral to a friend of mine introducing her to Dan. The words that naturally came out seemed right and so here I will share them here and save myself some work.

'Hiring Dan as my business/life coach has been one of the best investments I've made for MYSELF, my family and my business.  Dan has really helped me look inside and focus on what I really want out of my life, not just how I want to earn a living but I how I want to spend my TIME each day.  I highly recommend him to help you not only build your new business but to create a L
IFE plan for you and your family!

DOOOOOIT!   (please tell me you get the
starsky and hutch reference, or it would perfectly waste some serious FUNNY.)'

There you have it. If you're on the fence, I encourage you to step off and at least have a free consultation with Dan."

-Cindy Johnson
Designer and Entrepreneur
Ontario, Canada

To learn more about c
oaching, or to request a free consultation visit
www.DreamsAroundTheWorld.com/Coaching