#Selfie (Hashtag Series Book 4) (8 page)

Oh, he was smooth. The fucker. That’s the kind of shit I would pull.

Ivy giggled. My back teeth snapped together.

She stepped forward and slid her hand down into the front pocket of Trent’s jeans. Did she really have to stand that close to him? Did he really have to look down at her like he was hungry and she was a damned donut? Her entire hand disappeared. How the hell deep were those pockets?

“Braeden?” Rimmel’s voice cut into my thoughts and her hand brushed my arm.

I ripped my eyes from Ivy’s search mission and looked at Rim. “Hmm?”

“It’s your turn.” She motioned to the machine like it was obvious.

“Cool.” I dropped our bags at my feet and turned my back on everyone as I typed in everything.

I could hear Ivy laughing, Missy talking, and the low rumble of Trent’s laugh.

I ripped my pass out a little rougher than I meant and grabbed up our bags. “We’re gonna grab some coffee. You guys cool?” I directed the words to everyone but looked at Missy. I wasn’t about to watch Ivy feeling up Trent anymore.

Missy frowned a little, and I realized my voice had been harsh. I took a deep breath and gave her my best charming smile. “You need some joe, Miss?”

Her frown disappeared and she smiled. Missy was hot, like magazine hot. And she wasn’t that bad in bed either.

Made me wish I liked her as more than just a friend.

“I’m good, but thanks for asking.”

I draped my arm across Rimmel’s shoulder and started walking. “Cool. We’ll see you guys at the gate.”

Rimmel didn’t say anything as I led her away and to the closest coffee shop. Of course there was a line. After a few minutes of standing there in silence, I felt my little sis staring.

“What?” I asked.

“What’s wrong with you?”

I glanced at her and smirked. “Nothing. I’m perfect.”

“And I’m Victoria Secret’s next swimsuit model.”

I groaned. “No brother wants that image in his head, Rim.”

“You’re acting strange. What’s up?”

“Strange how?” I hedged. Why was it she always knew when something was going on? I blamed all the damn books she read all the time. Girl was too smart for her own good.

Rome was never gonna get away with nothing for the rest of his life.

“Braeden,” she warned.

I smiled. I liked when she tried to act all tough and intimidating. The line moved up and we went with it.

“You want one of those girly drinks?” I asked, looking at the menu. The guy in front of us snickered and glanced over his shoulder at us.

“Sure.” Her voice was syrupy sweet. “Just get me the one you always drink.”

I glowered at her and the man’s muffled laughter floated back to us.

She seemed rather proud of herself at that comment, so proud it took her mind off my interrogation, and I wasn’t about to remind her. Yet the second I ordered—regular lattes with sugar for me and Rome and some vanilla macchiato thing for her, with a drizzle of chocolate and caramel—and we moved over to wait for our order, she put her hands on her hips and glared.

“Well?”

“It’s nothing. My mom just sounded a little off when she called.”

She dropped her arms and her face softened. “Oh, is she okay?”

I tugged on a stray piece of hair that had come out of the huge mess piled on her head. “Yeah, she’s cool. I just think she’s lonely. I’ve been gone a while.”

“I don’t think I really thanked you for coming to Florida when Romeo called. For being there for me like you were.”

“BBFL,” I said.

She smiled. “You’re the best big brother anyone could have.”

The barista called out my name, and Rimmel went over, grabbed the coffee, and handed it to me. When the other two were set down, she grabbed them up and we headed toward the gate.

She sipped her coffee, and after a few minutes of us dodging rushing people, she said, “Want me to come with you to see her? Romeo, too? We can all visit her, maybe make her feel less lonely.”

If Romeo was gonna settle down with a woman and commit to being a one-woman guy, then he’d made a damn good choice. Rimmel was probably the most selfless person I knew.

“I’m sure she’d like that,” I replied. “But I think I’ll just stop by first, make sure everything is cool.”

“Maybe we can have dinner with her this week?” she asked hopefully.

“Sure, that sounds good.”

Rim had only met my mom a handful of times, but Mom knew how much my little sis meant to me. And Rimmel seemed to just slip right into my life, like she’d always been there. It was like because she cared about me, then she cared about everything I cared about, too.

The seats around our gate were full; it appeared the flight back to Maryland was going to be totally packed. However, even in all the people, my eyes found Ivy. She was sitting with Missy and Trent over by the window.

I was glad to be going back to Alpha U, back to my normal schedule and dorm where she wouldn’t be around all the time.

“Hey,” Rimmel said, stepping in front of me as we drew closer. I stopped walking and focused on her. “You know you can talk to me anytime, right? Little sisters make really good listeners.”

I half smiled. “Yeah, thanks.”

She seemed a little unsure about her openness, a little shy about letting me know she cared. “I mean, I know you have Romeo, and he’d be the one you would go to—”

“Rim.” I cut her off and dropped the bags beside us. “I know. I love you, too.” I hooked an arm around her and pulled her in. It wasn’t a full-on hug because she was holding two coffees and I was holding one, but it got the job done.

I felt her shock at my words. That I actually said I loved her out loud like that.

I cleared my throat. “You know, as a sister.”

Her giggle was muffled against my shirt. “I love you, too.”

I didn’t think those words would mean so much to me. Hell, I hadn’t really thought I’d be telling her I loved her in the middle of the airport.

But her willingness to say she cared touched me. It dug underneath the pissy mood I was in and the annoyed feelings I had toward Ivy.

For a long time, my family consisted of just my mom and me. Romeo and his parents were main constants in my life, too. But this was the first time I’d let in a girl. No, it wasn’t romantically, but it still meant a lot. In fact, the shock Rimmel just displayed I felt, too. Maybe that’s why I was so protective over her. Because letting in people was just as rare for me as it was for her, and because I wanted to protect it.

“I leave you two alone for five minutes,” Romeo drawled as he came up behind us.

Rimmel pulled away and went to him. I wasn’t a relationship guy, but the devotion I saw in her eyes when she looked at him sometimes made me feel like I should be.

“Got you a coffee.” Rimmel held out the cup to him.

Romeo took it and leaned down to kiss her on the head. “Thanks, baby.”

“Car returned?” she asked.

“Yep.”

“I’m gonna miss that convertible,” she sighed.

“Hey now, don’t be saying that around the Hellcat.”

“Well, at least I could drive the convertible,” she cracked.

Rome grimaced. “The Hellcat is probably gonna miss that convertible.”

“Hey!” Rim admonished and poked him in the ribs.

Laughing, Romeo pulled her close.

I turned away from their disgusting, lovey displays of affection. Rome was so whipped. How the hell he got so twisted up inside for some girl—no offense to my little sis—was a damned mystery.

I wasn’t ever going to get twisted up like that. Being whipped was the last thing I ever planned to be.

Without meaning to, I looked at Ivy. She was laughing along with Missy at something Trent was saying.

Letting women in, letting that kind of emotion in was dangerous. I knew all too well the kind of damage a relationship with too much of anything could cause.

I was better off alone.

Ivy

I needed a shower.

For more than one reason.

Sitting on a plane full of crowded people wasn’t fun. Sitting next to Missy, my best friend that I betrayed, was worse. Still feeling Braeden on my skin?

Torture.

All I could think about while I hobbled through the parking lot of the airport with Missy and Trent in tow was a shower. I didn’t care it wouldn’t be a private bathroom like I’d been using for the past week. I didn’t care I was going back to the dorm, back to classes, and back to regular life.

I just wanted these feelings to go away.

This war inside me needed to stop. What Braeden and I did had been so wrong, but
oh my word
, it felt so good.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. About the way the orgasm, my first one, was like a riptide inside my whole body. It circled and circled, gaining momentum, and then everything in me collapsed and was pulled into the swirling center of unmatched pleasure. My whole body splintered apart. I didn’t know it could be that way.

Why?

Why did I have to experience something so powerful with him?

And then I had to sit next to Missy—the girl who wanted him—on the plane home. Trent sat in the same row, and that thankfully curtailed any girl talk, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid it forever.

Maybe after a shower, after some space and time to think, I would be better prepared. Prepared to shove what happened into the deepest recesses of my mind. I would be able to talk to Missy about him and the way she felt without feeling like a horrible person.

The drive back to campus wasn’t terribly long. We didn’t really talk much. I think everyone was just glad to be off the plane. The first place I went was to the frat house where Trent was president. It was the first time I’d been back since the night before the big championship game Alpha played in.

The night I slept with Zach.

When I parked the car at the curb, a sick feeling wormed its way into my gut. A cold sweat beaded my forehead, and I felt sick and sort of panicked.

My fingers tightened around the steering wheel as I tried to contain the panic clawing my throat.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Get it together!

Unable to sit in the enclosed space of the car another second, the door burst open, and I catapulted out onto the pavement. My foot protested when I landed, but I didn’t care. Pulling in deep breaths, I tried to curtail the way I was feeling.

Flashes of that night assaulted me. Of people laughing, dancing, and the crush of bodies filling the house. A familiar laugh flirted through the memory. It was Zach’s.

I shuddered.

“Ivy?” Trent said, reaching out to touch my arm.

I jerked away, taken aback by his sudden appearance.

“Whoa,” he said and pulled back. “You okay? You’re not looking so good.”

I leaned against the car door and mustered a smile. “Sorry. I think all the travel is catching up to me. I’m feeling a little carsick.”

It was a lie, but it was better than saying looking at the house he lived in made me feel like I was going to have a panic attack.

“Can I get you some water? You wanna sit down?” The concern in his voice was genuine and surprisingly brought me back to the present.

That one time with Zach had been a horrible, horrible mistake. It was never going to happen again. I never had to see him again. It was history.

I looked at Trent. His attention was wholly focused on me, and it made me feel good to be the center of someone’s sights even if it was for only a few moments.

“You’re a sweet guy.”

He placed a hand over his chest like I shot him. “That’s the kiss of death,” he moaned.

“What?” I laughed.

“No guy wants to hear how sweet they are.”

“Then what do they want to hear?” I asked, totally amused.

“That they’re badass.” He shrugged like it was obvious and I should know this.

I laughed again and held out my fist for a fist bump. Guys liked those. “You’re totally badass, Trent.”

He flashed me a wide smile and reached for my fist, but he didn’t return the bump. Instead, he grabbed my hand and tugged me hard. I wasn’t prepared for that, so I tumbled forward into his chest.

“We don’t fist bump. We hug,” Trent said as he pulled me into the circle of his arms. Automatically, I returned the embrace, laying my cheek against his shoulder.

I felt his hand in the ends of my hair before he pulled back.

“I had fun this week.”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “Me too.”

Why did I suddenly feel like the air was charged with more than just a friendly good-bye?

“I’ll see ya around, right?” he asked.

“Of course!”

Trent leaned in the door of the car and said bye to Missy. When he pulled back out, he pushed a hand through his sandy-colored hair and winked at me. “See ya around, Ivy.”

I waved and climbed back in the car. I didn’t look at the house again. I was afraid it would ruin the peace I’d manage to get back since we pulled up.

As I drove away from the curb, I felt Missy’s eyes. I looked over at her. She was grinning like she’d just found a giant diamond.

“What?” I asked.

She smiled wider.

I sighed.

“He’s totally into you.”

“Who?” I wondered, though I knew exactly where she was going with this. I was so not up for a conversation about my love life—or lack thereof—right now.

“You know who!” She smacked me in the arm. “Trent totally has a thing for you.”

“Umm, I think Romeo was trying to set him up with you.”

“The only thing between me and Trent is friendship. But you two…” Her voice turned calculating. “You two make a good match.”

“What?” I said a little too high. “No.”

Missy nodded. “Uh-huh. You had to see the way he was looking at you. And the way he was this morning at the beach house. He totally took care of your foot.”

Her voice was turning dreamy. I rolled my eyes.

“Missy—”

She cut me off. “And the way he watched out for you at the airport and helped you with your bags.”

“He carried your bags, too,” I pointed out.

“Not all of them.”

I groaned. This was ridiculous. I was tired of thinking about guys. Of talking about guys. For the first time in years, the idea of having a boyfriend was totally unappealing.

“I don’t want to talk about Trent.”

“Since when do you not want to talk about guys?” Missy pressed.

Since I slept with Zach like a giant ho, then fell into bed with the guy you had your eye on.
I wanted to say it out loud, but I didn’t dare.

Taking my silence as some kind of mutiny, she sighed. “Fine, we’ll talk about Trent later.”

Oh, goody gumdrops.

“Besides, I want to talk about Braeden.”

“Braeden?” I asked nervously. “He’s my least favorite topic.”

Missy fell quiet for a moment. I felt her scrutiny. I worked hard to keep my face devoid of any kind of emotion.

“Is something going on with you and Braeden?”

“What?” I gasped and slid her a surprised look.

Shit. Shit. Shit!

“What makes you think that?”

“Things just seemed more tense than usual between you two today. Did you get into another fight? You know, worse than usual?”

I relaxed a little. “Well, I’m not usually trapped in a car or an airplane with his royal pain in the ass,” I cracked.

Missy laughed. “I guess not.”

“Frankly, I’m glad to get away from him for a while.” That was said with complete honesty.

“You shouldn’t hate him, you know,” Missy said quietly when I pulled into the parking lot of our dorm building.

“I don’t hate him,” I hedged. “Just strongly dislike.”

“I know it’s because of me. Because of how things ended with him and me.”

I didn’t want to talk about this right now.

“He was upfront about us. He never said we were anything more than what we were. It was just fun.”

“But it wasn’t,” I said vehemently. “Not to you.”

“At first it was. But then I got to know him. He’s so… intense, you know?”

Oh, did I. “I guess?”

“And he’s fun. Even though we were kind of just friends with benefits, he still made me feel special.”

I whipped the car into the first open spot I saw, cut the engine, and ripped the keys from the ignition. Saying nothing, I got out and popped the trunk.

My foot hurt as I dug our bags out of the back and handed them to Missy. When the trunk was closed, I couldn’t ignore Missy’s comments anymore.

“I know you liked him,” I began. “A lot. But I just don’t think he’s the guy for you, Miss. You deserve so much better than a guy who just wants benefits with none of the commitment.”

I was a hypocrite. I know.

“Maybe. But I want him.”

I felt like she punched me in the gut.

“I want a million dollars,” I cracked.

“Maybe you should play the lottery.” Missy smiled as we dragged our stuff toward the dorm.

I laughed.

“I saw him watching me, you know.”

My steps faltered. “What?”

Missy nodded. “This week on the beach, at the house. Sometimes I would catch him staring. Admiring the view.” She smirked.

I thought he’d been looking at me.

I even said it last night… He didn’t say I was wrong.

‘Course he wouldn’t! He was about to get laid! He’d let you believe whatever you wanted.

Suddenly, I was incredibly unsure. And incredibly embarrassed. Would I never learn?

Missy went on like I wasn’t totally dying of embarrassment. “Maybe the time we spent apart made him miss me. Maybe seeing me play around with Trent in the ocean made him jealous.”

I swallowed. Is that why she seemed more interested in Trent than she actually was? Maybe what I thought of as her flirting in the ocean was actually just her putting on an act for Braeden.

She mistook my silence for something else. “Oh!” she gasped. “I don’t like Trent. Not like that. I promise.”

“Yeah, I think I got that,” I remarked dryly.

She held open the door to the building, and I went ahead inside.

“I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to put the moves on him. Especially with you two starting something.”

“We aren’t starting something.”

“Yes, you are,” she sang. “And I fully support it. Just because I might have used Trent a little in Florida to make Braeden jealous means nothing. I know you like him. I would never ever put the moves on a guy you were into.”

My heart sank. “You’re a good friend, Missy.”

“Hos over bros,” she called out and turned down the hallway toward her room. It was on the first floor, and Rimmel and I were on the second. “Call me later!”

I escaped into the stairwell and collapsed against the closest wall.

It was official.

I was going to best friend hell.