Semper Fi (20 page)

Jim nodded. He reached down with his left hand between them and grasped Cal’s fingers for just a second. But when he would have let go, Cal held tight. Jim squeezed and moved his lips in a silent prayer, pleading with God to keep him and Cal safe. Him and Cal, and Sully and Speedy and Joe and Pistol, and their whole platoon and all the men in the boats around them.

Jim had tried not to think much of home since going to Parris Island. It only made him yearn to see his child and his land. But now Sophie’s sweet face filled his mind and heart, and he imagined he could feel her chubby arms around his neck as he lifted her. A surge of panic tightened his chest. Would he see her grow? Would she ever really know him, or would he be nothing but a faded photograph on the wall?

With a sharp stab of guilt, he belatedly thought of Ann. Good, kind Ann. In these moments as he rushed toward his fate, he could admit to himself that there was a sadness in her eyes, and a longing in her soul that he didn’t think he could ever fulfill. If only the Lord would spare him, he would try to be a better husband.

And Cal. Cal had to be saved. He clutched his friend’s hand, opening his eyes to meet Cal’s warm, steady gaze. As the rising sun began to lighten the sky and the clouds seemed to evaporate, they shared a final glance.

With a last squeeze, Cal let go. “See you on the other side.”

Blood rushed in his ears as Jim eyed the shore, looking for any sign of the enemy. With a lurch, they hit ground and the men leaped over the side of the boat as one, splashing to land and dropping onto the beach. Everything was sound and movement, and Jim caught a glimpse of palm trees overhead as he propelled himself forward.

The order that had been drilled into them echoed in his mind, screaming in his ears to get off the beach. They were sitting ducks out in the open, and he pushed himself to the tree line, keeping low, his part of the mortar gun a heavy load. His line of sight became a tunnel, focused solely on the coconut grove beyond the beach.

Chest rising and falling, rifle at the ready and clutched in his hands, Jim made it to the trees and flopped onto his stomach. His helmet had slipped down his forehead and he pushed it up as he jerked his head left and right. He caught sight of Cal a few yards away. He exhaled in a rush and said a prayer of thanks that Cal was uninjured.

It was only then he realized it was far too quiet. No explosions split the air. No bullets screamed toward them. He and Cal shared a glance, looking around at the rest of their platoon in wonder. They’d taken the beach unopposed. The Japanese had turned tail and run.

Sully laughed out loud, and soon they were all smiling. As the minutes ticked by, the sun rose, birds chirped, and they gathered in the shade. Speedy grinned as he whacked open a coconut with his Ka-Bar. Soon more men followed suit, and Jim reached for one, eager to taste something other than salt and sand.

The sweet milk felt wonderfully cool as it slid down his throat. He passed his coconut to Cal, who tipped his head back and drank. His tongue darted out to swipe at a stray white drop on his lip. Jim felt a strange flutter in his belly, and hoped the milk wouldn’t make them sick.

Sully spoke up. “So…what are we supposed to do now?”

Big Joe slurped from a coconut shell. “Only been ten minutes. Don’t worry, pipsqueak, they’ll find something for us to do real soon.”

Sully grinned. “That wasn’t so hard. I reckon this war’s gonna be a piece of cake.”

“One, two, three…”

A nail in his mouth, Jim looked up from the broken railing of the paddock fence and rested his hammer against his thigh for a moment. He watched as Cal spun in a circle near the barn, his eyes closed while the children ran and hid.

The bursts of affection and little thrills of desire that sparked across Jim’s skin in Cal’s presence left him perpetually distracted, but no matter how many times he chided himself to stop acting like a lovesick schoolgirl, all he could do was smile.

“Eight, nine, ten! Ready or not, here I come!”

Cal raced toward the barn. Adam was still too young to really understand the concept of hide and seek, and within seconds Cal cried out that he’d found him, and Adam’s giggles floated out on the breeze. Jim had spotted Sophie ducking into the house, so the game would last for a while.

He went back to repairing the fence, humming to himself. Before long, Cal emerged from the barn with Adam secure on his shoulders, Adam laughing uproariously as Cal trotted toward the house. Jim waved as they went by, and Adam flapped his arm in return. Cal gave Jim a smile that did nothing to stop the giddiness Jim felt.

A voice in his head warned him for the umpteenth time that they had to be careful. At church that morning without Cal, Rebecca had commented that Jim seemed happy. Not that there was anything wrong with being happy, but folks would wonder. It hadn’t even been a year since Ann’s accident. Now the familiar litany of remorse settled over him heavily.

What if she was
alive? Would I still feel this way for Cal? Why didn’t I ever feel this for her? I should have been a better husband. Has this sickness always been there? It must be a sin, but I can’t stop myself. Even if I could, I can’t bring her back.

The thoughts tumbled through his mind endlessly. He pulled another nail from his pocket and hammered it into the railing as he told himself not to go any farther down that road.

Instead he thought of church, an equally uncomfortable topic. Jim knew he was sinning, but he couldn’t help himself. Going to church had been part of his routine his whole life, but he had to admit he often daydreamed during services. He’d barely listened to a word the reverend had said that morning, instead wishing he was home with Cal.
If I’m going to hell, might as well skip church.

He laughed out loud at the thought, and then looked around as if someone could have heard him. Sophie’s muffled shriek from the house was followed by her bursting out of the kitchen door with Cal and Adam in pursuit.

“You can’t catch me!” she yelled, heading toward the orchard.

Watching Cal with the children, Jim felt a fresh swell of affection. He’d always thought Cal would be a wonderful father, but now he knew why he hadn’t married. All these years he’d been ignorant of Cal’s true desires, and Jim couldn’t help but feel foolish. He supposed Cal had hidden it well.

There was no hiding now. They stole moments together whenever they could, far out in the orchard, on the ground, or up against trees. Yesterday they’d come together in the dark recesses of the barn, kissing frantically as they stroked each other. It was always furtive and rushed, even when Jim knew there was no one about. They’d made a rule to never touch in the house, and obviously never when the children were present.

“Daddy, Daddy!” Sophie came around out of the trees, screeching as Cal swung her up into his arms and tickled her. Adam toddled along behind them clapping in delight, and Finnigan barked in the distance as he raced over.

“Daddy can’t save you now! The monster caught you!” Cal roared.

Shaking off his thoughts, Jim put down his hammer and ran over to join in the fun as his children’s laughter filled the air.

“Was this thing even built in this century?” Cal eyed the tractor critically from the doorway of the barn.

Jim patted the rusty Fordson. “Nineteen-eighteen, I think.”

“How much horsepower?”

“Twenty.”

Cal climbed up on the seat. “Feels sturdy enough, I suppose.”

The two back wheels were much larger and wider than the front, providing a secure base. “Of course it is. It works just fine.”

“You know, I could buy a new one. It wouldn’t cost much.”

Jim snorted. “We have differing opinions on the relative value of ‘much.’”

Cal smiled as he hopped down. “Fair enough. All right, I’ll get the sprayer ready.”

Jim sat on the tractor and started the engine, which belched to life. “See? Runs like a dream.” He couldn’t help but cough as a plume of smoke rose.

“Uh-huh.” Cal passed him the jug of pesticide attached to a hose. “You know, it occurs to me that there were gas masks for this kind of stuff in the war. You sure we should be spraying this on the trees?”

“They say it’s a different formula, and it’s safe. Everyone’s starting to use it, and I can’t afford a plague of insects.”

“All right. I’ll go to town and pick up those other supplies we need and meet you out there in a couple of hours.”

“I’m starting at the far end and I’ll make my way back.” Jim drove off through the sun-dappled orchard, going a few miles per hour. The spraying was straightforward enough, and he’d done three quarters of the trees by the time he spotted Cal walking toward him in the distance with a lunch basket in hand.

Jim left his pesticide supplies and drove away from where he’d been spraying. Cal stood against a tree, waiting for him with his legs crossed at the ankle. It was almost the end of June, and they both wore simple white T-shirts and jeans for work every day. Cal’s trousers hugged his slim hips and lean thighs, the cotton of his T-shirt stretching across his firm chest.

When he’d arrived at Clover Grove after sitting behind a desk for a few years, he was still in good shape, but the manual labor and time in the sun made him look just as Jim remembered him in the Marines, save for the haircut. Cal smiled slyly as Jim turned off the tractor and hopped down.

“Like what you see?”

Jim flushed. “Was I that obvious?”

“Mmm-hmm. But hey, I’m not complaining.” Cal reached out and tugged Jim against him, kissing him soundly. “Not complaining at all.” He nuzzled Jim’s neck, finding the spot under his ear that never failed to make Jim’s knees weak.

Sighing, Jim ran his palms up Cal’s sides. “We shouldn’t. We’re too close to the house.”

“Mrs. O’Brien’s busy polishing the silver and keeping Adam occupied.” Cal reached down and rubbed Jim’s cock through the rough denim. “Besides, I’m hungry.”

“Did you bring sandwiches?” Jim shivered, leaning into Cal’s touch.

Grinning wickedly, Cal ran his tongue across Jim’s bottom lip and whispered, “I’m hungry for
you
.”

Jim groaned, his cock twitching at the thought of the things Cal could do with his mouth. He hadn’t had the nerve to do it to Cal yet, but Cal seemed to love sucking him, and it was irresistible. “I can’t get enough of you,” Jim muttered.

Cal murmured in Jim’s ear hotly, “I’m all yours.”

Jim steeled himself and stepped back. “Later this afternoon. We’ll go check on the young fruit. No one will come out that far.”

“I suppose you’re worth waiting for.” Cal kissed him softly.

They ate their sandwiches in easy silence, listening to the birds chirp. When it was time to get back to work, Cal clambered onto the tractor. “My turn to have a go. It’s not often you get the chance to use an antique.” He winked.

Chuckling to himself, Jim turned away to pack up the basket. Suddenly his ears rang with an explosion, the air sucked from his lungs as he flattened himself on the ground, arms over his head. The sunlight disappeared and it was the black of night, mud beneath him, cries all around as the fire and flesh rained down.

There was blood in his mouth, and Cal was there, saying something Jim couldn’t understand, his hands on Jim. He breathed in acrid smoke, his lungs seizing, the burning filling his senses. His heart was going to burst, his blood pumping in his veins too hard, and oh God, oh God, oh God—

“
Jim
!”

He squirmed away, the mud squelching beneath him, getting into his mouth and mixing with the coppery blood, choking him as more explosions rent the air. There were cries all around, his own throat hoarse, and he realized he was screaming too. Then he was rolled over with a forceful push, and he held his hands out, waiting for a bayonet to end him—for a blade to carve into him.

“Open your eyes!”

Blinking, Jim saw snatches of sunlight and blue sky. Branches with green leaves. Cal’s pale face. Cal—
Cal’s all right, thank God—
was saying something again, and Jim shook his head, trying to clear the rushing in his ears. He gasped as his burning lungs expanded.