Shackles of Honor (53 page)

“Yes! Because you wished it
,
and he is respecting of you, honors you without question.”

“Mason is honorable, a profound rarity in men. He fills my bosom to swelling with pride. But he is independent as well. He would not take you to him if he did not wish it.”

“No. You are wrong, sir. I am merely a burden for him to bear. He has no
—
”

“Quiet your doubts, my girl. I’ve seen the man undone with my own eyes since you have come here. There is the matter of his sleeplessness
,
h
is near constant agitation. And…and I will reveal something else, though he would strike me down with his own hand if he knew I had done so.”

Cassidy’s attention was indeed arrested
,
and she looked to him, waiting anxiously for him to speak.

“There was a young man at Terrill. Gavin was his name
,
I believe.”

“Yes,” Cassidy admitted.
What would this man know of Gavin?
she wondered.

“This suitor of yours…this Gavin. Mason paid the man to leave you.”

“No. No, he offered. He tossed twenty thousand at his feet, but Gavin refused it.”

“No, he did not
.
” Lord Carlisle was founded in his conviction. There was no reason for Cassidy to disbelieve him. But she had seen with her own eyes Gavin’s refusal of the money—seen Gavin profess his love for Cassidy, not Cassidy’s money. “Prior to your meeting in the woods, Mason intercepted him, paying him thirty thousand to behave as if his love for you w
ere
greater than any price.”

She did not think he was lying. Yet why? Why would Mason pay Gavin to feign true love when it would have been easier for Cassidy to leave her home had she known Gavin’s true intent
?
“Why then?” she asked. “Why would he pay him to act so when it would have been so easy to
—
”

“To protect you, my dear.”

“Protect me from what? Why would such a thing protect me?”

“Would it have hurt you to know the boy had been wooing you for your position? Your wealth?”

Cassidy thought for a moment
and
then answered honestly
.
“Yes. I would have been hurt. My trust in people would have been damaged beyond repair.”

“Honest girl that you are. Another quality I admire in you, Cassidy
—a
quality I have always admired in my son as well. That is why I was so astonished when he confessed his deed of deception to me. But he did it out of concern…out of growing care for you, my dear.” He drew in a deep breath
,
and it seemed difficult for him. “I ask you again, Cassidy. And please, answer quickly, for I feel my time is short. Do you want your freedom from this arrangement to marry Mason?”

“No,” Cassidy answered truthfully and without pause.

“Do you indeed love my son, Cassidy?”

“Yes,” and her tears began again.

“Then I tell you now, I know you will be happy. As blissfully and blessedly happy as I have been with Devonna.”

“But wait. You must offer to Mason this retreat. You must. Though my heart will ever be owned by him alone…you must not force him to live with someone whom he does not wish to, sir.” The words burned fiery hot in Cassidy’s throat as she forced them from her lips. Mason would run from her when offered the chance from the man he most admired and wanted to please. He would send her home and be done with her. And she would be left with the pain. The bitter, bitter heartache. Unlike Calvert and Cylia, unlike Devonna and LaMont…she would never love another with the full, deep love of her soul. Mason was her love. She found her one true love
,
and she must lose him to save him.

“He will not waver, Cassidy. He will not release himself from his promise. Nor does he desire it.”

“But…but you must offer, sir. You must! I cannot
—
”

“I fear I must see Mason and Devonna, my dear.” His breathing became labored and raspy. “Please, my pet…knowing that I love you…knowing I leave Mason in your hands and heart…leave me to my final moments
,
and send in my beloved, Devonna. Let me have my true bliss in her arms one last time.”

Cassidy could not pause, for she sensed the very shadow of death hovering over the man. Recognizing the uncomfortable heat of his fevered body, she la
id
her head on his breast for a moment as his weak arms embraced her. “Please, Father. Do not leave me to bear your son’s pain of loss like this,” she whispered softly through her tears.

Taking her face between his hands, Lord Carlisle turned her face toward his own. “I would have loved you too, my dove.” Cassidy saw the moisture heavy in his eyes as he looked lovingly upon her. “Now, kiss me quickly and send in the others.”

Cassidy reached out, took the man’s face in her hands
,
and kissed him lingeringly on his forehead, which was moist with perspiration, and whispered, “Thank you, sir, for helping to bring such a man to life on this earth. For loving your wife enough to contrive this planned betrothal and being the means of delivering the object of my unfathomable love into my arms even for a short time.”

Quickly then, she dashed to the door, flinging it open to see Devonna and Mason in each other’s embrace. “Quickly now, milady. He is in need of you.”

“Mason!” she heard Lord Carlisle’s call weakly from the room. “Devonna! Mason! Quickly!”

Cassidy covered her mouth with a trembling hand
,
and tears flooded her cheeks as she watched Mason and his mother hurry into the room, closing the door behind them. She collapsed against the wall, sobbing bitterly as several more servants came bounding up the stairs wondering at the commotion. It was a long, drawn out quarter of an hour that the large hall clock counted away as Cassidy sob
bed grievously against the hard
stone wall.
The servants dabbed at tears with their aprons, and Mathias whimpered now and again.

Cassidy’s entire being startled viciously when there came a profoundly anguished scream from Lady Carlisle within the room. “No! No! LaMont? Please, LaMont! Do not leave me here alone! No!”

Cassidy watched the large oak door, waiting with trepidation for it to open and reveal the stricken widow and her son. Sobbing wracked her body nearly beyond which was endurable while conscious. The servants began sobbing as well, taking comfort in the embraces of each other. Mathias barked twice and then, with a defeated whine, stretched out on the floor, resting his head on his front legs. He too watched the door to the chamber with great trepidation
,
no doubt.

Cassidy gasped as the door that held her attention swung open violently, revealing Mason, pale at having faced death, standing grave and angry at the threshold. He strode angrily across the hallway until he stood before Cassidy, glaring down into her tear-filled eyes. He was silent for a long moment. It was apparent he was fighting to control his emotions.

In a voice that was deeply angry, yet hurting, he said, “He is gone. Do not think my father’s death will free me or you from our obligation!” His voice cracked and faltered several times with emotion. “And do not think a period of mourning will delay our marriage. For he told me, as he drew his last breath…that he wished it to take place as prearranged.” Turning from her suddenly, he strode away, pushing his way through the sobbing servants, down the stairway
,
and out of the house. Even his faithful dog knew better than to follow his stricken master.

After Cassidy watched him leave, her body still trembling with anxiety and sorrow, she looked to Lady Carlisle
,
who knelt beside her husband’s bed. She was still holding his hand as she pleaded quietly with him to awaken and return to her. Cassidy closed her eyes—envisioned her own pain had it been her kneeling on the floor and Mason dead before her in his bed. At once she rushed to the woman’s side.

“Please, please, please, LaMont. Please. You cannot possibly expect me to endure this!” Lady Carlisle sobbed. She looked up as Cassidy knelt beside her on the floor. “Only a moment ago he was telling of our love! Calling me ‘
d
ove’ as he loved to do and assuring me that all would be well. He cannot possibly have left me, Cassidy. He cannot have left me.”

“It…it was not his choice to leave, milady,” Cassidy soothed, reaching out and placing a comforting hand on the woman’s knee. “You know he would never leave you given a choice.”

Lady Carlisle closed her eyes and seemed to compose herself slightly. When she looked to Cassidy once more, she opened her ha
nd and showed Cassidy the large
gold locket that rested in her palm. “His last gift to me,” the widow sobbed. “Himself.” The locket was open
,
and Cassidy beheld a perfect miniature likeness of Lord Carlisle. Releasing her husband, Devonna reached out, taking Cassidy’s face in her hands. “You must help Mason through this time of grief, Cassidy. He does not deal well with loss. I am weakened…acutely lost in this, and I will not have it in me to carry myself and my son through.”

“But it is not me he will want now! He will not want my interference. I am not…I am not…” Cassidy stammered.

“Leave me now,
d
ove. Leave me with my beloved. Perhaps he will yet awaken again. Perhaps he is simply greatly fatigued.” She paused then, shaking her head and whispering, “No. You must send word to your mother and father that LaMont is gone.” Lady Carlisle rose from her knees and threw herself across the peaceful body of her husband as sobbing again wracked her body. Cassidy rose and rushed from the room, looking back once at the irony of Lord Carlisle free from his pain and his wife’s only just beginning.

Chapter Fifteen

Somehow Cassidy found her way to her room. She sobbed until her body could stand no more physical exertion, had no more moisture to lend her eyes as tears, and then she fell asleep. When she awoke, hours into the night, it was to the sound of sobbing servants yet again. Of crashing noises that seemed to be close at hand. Rising from her bed, she went to her basin and pressed a moistened cloth against her face, which still felt swollen as a result of such deep crying. She poured herself a glass of water. As she was emptying the contents of the glass, she was startled by another loud crash that she realized came from the vicinity of across the hall, from the direction of Mason’s room.

Quickly she went to her door and out into the hall to see several female servants sobbing with fright into their aprons. Havroneck looked on as two of the menservants stood outside Mason’s door, ears pressed firmly to it. Mathias leapt and paced, completely agitated.

“He is in a fit of anger, miss,” Havroneck stated as Cassidy approached.

“Has he locked himself in then?” Cassidy asked.

“No, miss. But he has destroyed every vase in the house
,
and we thought it unwise to follow him in when he went into his room.
”

“And Lady Carlisle?” Cassidy asked.

“The doctor gave her something to help her sleep. I did not want her disturbed,” Havroneck explained.

Cassidy jumped involuntarily as something else seemed to crash against the inner walls of Mason’s room. At that moment, the fear that he might injure himself somehow gave rise to sudden courage
,
and she pushed open the door to Mason’s room and stepped inside, closing it and blocking the view of the curious domestics. Mason, who had been standing with his back to her staring out the window, intent, no doubt, on smashing its glass panes as well, whirled around wrathfully to face her.

Cassidy was startled by his complete state of dishevel. His cravat had disappeared, his shirt hung fully open, and his hair, normally brushed back so perfectly, was entirely mussed. “Get out!” he shouted at her
,
and she winced at the fury in his voice, fury born
e
of pain and suffering.