Shades of Gray (15 page)

He slid a
plate on the table and stood behind a kitchen chair.  He hadn’t needed this
kind of coverage since he had first understood the reason for icy swims in the
dead of winter.  “Does what happen much?” he stammered, hoping her attention
had not dipped below his waist.  His mouth twitched and his lips tightened.  Women
would never understand the pain men endured because of them.  “That I destroy
breakfast or that I’m wrong?” 

Her comb fell
loose and she re-tucked it in place.  Gray groaned and gripped the finials on
the chair, nearly snapping them in half. 

“I doubt you
are ever wrong,” she said, “or at least that you will admit to.”

He broadened
his smile and lessened his hold on the furniture.  “That sounds like an
accusation with no correct reply.”

“I suppose it
is,” she said. 

Her cheeks
brightened, and she glanced from one side of the room to the other, turning her
head as though she searched for something specific.  Luckily, she had kept her
distance from him during their playful chatter.  His body should return to a
prepubescent state any moment.  He followed the direction she looked and
considered her aloof mannerism since she had entered the room.  Had she thought
any more about yesterday’s conversation?  Did she regret the time they spent
together?  One thing was certain, these new reflections helped eliminate his
need to conceal himself.  In place of cheerful banter, an awkward stillness
filled the air.  Gray pulled the chair away from the table.  The wood scratched
the floor, drowning out their nervous breathing.  He swept his hand over the
seat and motioned for her to sit. 

In all
fairness, he didn’t know what to expect from her regarding their time in the
nursery.  He hadn’t promised her anything, but had asked for her to trust him. 
Trust him.  He shook his head absently.  Why should she trust someone who had
taken from her without permission?  That’s called stealing, he chastised
himself.  He should have never kissed her. 

She had stood
in front of him, so close he could smell the gardenia fragrance she used in her
hair.  He inhaled the remembered scent.  She had been so hard to resist.  To
take her in his arms seemed as natural as blinking.  All of his veins and
sinews were finally connected, whole, complete.  He had held to her as though
discovering the missing piece of himself. 

He drew his
brows together and reassessed his thoughts.  When had she become so important
to him?  He glanced over at her and his stomach plummeted.  The realization of
his vulnerability stood across from him.  He was no longer a boy with resilient
optimism.  What if she had been repulsed by the experience?  He cast his
attention downward and thought past his initial emotion.  She had pulled him closer,
not away from his kiss.  She was the one who had intensified his caress.  He
raised his gaze as she stepped to the chair.  Did she feel the same way about
him or was he merely hoping?  She sat down in front of him and smiled upward. 
This was the face that accompanied all of his restless nights of late. 

“Where’s
Laura?” Kat asked, bringing his thoughts back to the kitchen.  “When I smelled
the bacon cooking, I thought she was the one making breakfast.”

Gray glanced
around at the dirty dishes and the mound of scorched pots.  “After my sad
attempt to keep you nourished, I won’t tell her that you mistook my abusive use
of the kitchen with her abilities.  She would not be glad to hear that you
consider her skills with a frying pan less than adequate.” 

Brown goo had
started as gravy but ended as a flaky, burn patch.  It lay at the bottom of a
small pan.  Gray mercifully covered the abandoned attempt with his towel and
moved to a chair near Kat. 

“She went to
visit a neighbor this morning,” he said and sat down.

Kat’s mouth
pulled in at the sides and she half nodded.  A sharp pain stabbed his chest. 
Did she not want to spend time alone with him?

He poured two
glasses of milk from a pitcher on the table and handed one to her.  “It isn’t a
full breakfast, but we can still eat, if you have the stomach for it.”  He held
out a basket of pastries to her. 

She removed
one roll from the pile and placed it on her plate.  The fold of her blouse
flattened, and Gray looked down to the front of her shoulder.  His chest
lightened, and he smiled at her.  Kat’s hand went to her collarbone and
caressed the cameo pin. 

“Thank you for
the gifts,” she said.

He nodded and
helped himself to a muffin, his appetite returning.  “It looks nicer than I
imagined it would.”

Her mouth fell
opened and she gulped air.  “This is a new piece?” she asked.

“Yes,” he
answered and slathered a glob of butter across the small bite.  He popped it in
his mouth and wiped a crumb from his bottom lip.  “I thought it would look nice
on you.  I was right.”

She held her
broken roll above her plate.  “And the grooming set?” she asked.  “They are new
as well?”

“They are.” 
He lifted his glass to his lips and looked over the rim at her.  Did she think
he wasn’t capable of purchasing such items? 

“None of these
things were --”

“Daria’s?” he
asked, squinting in her direction.  “Is that what you’re asking?”

Although Kat’s
head shook from side to side, her face twitched in agreement with his
question.  “No. . . I wasn’t. . . That’s not what I. . .   What I mean is, I’m
surprised they are new.  Where. . . when did you get them?”

Gray sat back
in his chair, his brows drawn together.  Her confusion was the most honest
expression she had shown this morning.  “On my last trip away from home,” he
said.  He refilled his glass and pulled a second muffin from the basket.  “I
believe it is easier for a person to feel at home when they are surrounded by
things that are their own.  Besides, every woman needs her own brush and comb. 
I thought you would enjoy having them.”

“And the
cameo?”

He shrugged
his shoulders, and his gaze shifted to the area near her chin.  Seeing the pin
nestled on her blouse, he knew he had made the right choice in selecting this
piece of jewelry.  The merchant had tried to convince him to accept a ruby
pendant.  Although the setting was beautiful and would look lovely dangling
from a chain around Kat’s neck, the precious stone seemed inappropriate. 
Rubies were more of a gift to a wife.  The cameo was one that expressed his
emotions without Kat needing to feel that she compromised her honor in
accepting it.  Besides, it suited her. 

“The cameo,”
he said, “is something I want you to have.”

She stretched
her arm across the table and wrapped her fingers over his.  Squeezing lightly,
she held to his hand.  “I love it.  Thank you.”

He was unsure
if he would be able to contain his heart in his chest.  It beat so strongly, he
was certain it would burst through his cavity and continue to function on its
own accord.  He threaded his fingers with hers. 

Seeming
unbothered by Gray’s refusal to release her, she used her other hand and bit
off a piece of her roll.  Blinking several times, her face contorted and her
mouth screwed tight. 

Gray laughed
aloud, and Kat forced the mouthful down her throat.  “Contrary to what you’re
tasting,” he said.  “I am a good cook.”

Kat sipped
from her glass and then sat it back in place with slow precision.  Her
shoulders slumped, and she dabbed her lip with her napkin.  She glanced up at
him from under furrowed brows.  A heavy weight seemed always at the ready to
undo her happiness.  “What will your mother say about us?” she asked.

Gray breathed
a sigh of relief and placed his free hand behind her neck.  This problem was a
non-issue.  He looked deep in her eyes and found the anchor where he could
connect his buoy.  “I’m only concerned with what you say.” 

Her breath
caught in her throat as she fought for air.  Breathing deep, she tipped her
head back, smiling with the clarity of his answer.  “I say,” she whispered and
scooted her chair closer to him.  “I wish you would kiss me again.”

Pulling her
seat between his knees, he pulled her to him and lowered his mouth to hers.  It
didn’t matter what anyone else said as long as he knew that here, and with him,
was where Kat wanted to be.  And from the eagerness with which she met his
mouth, he had no doubt that she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

Chapter 18

Gray watched
as Kat ran ahead of him, pointing out a swallowtail nest.  She seemed
unbothered by her foot.  It had either completely healed or she didn’t notice
the pain any longer.  Either way, it was good to see she didn’t limp.  To prove
his suspicion, she pressed up on tiptoe and tried to reach the shambled nest. 
Empty, the twigs and leaves would need re-padding before occupancy next
spring.  Branches swayed in the breeze, and autumn leaves rained down around
her head and shoulders.  She smiled back at him, thoroughly enjoying the day. 
It was amazing what a few days free of inhibitions and secrets could do for a
man’s soul. 

Kat had done
nothing supernatural to him, but he still felt as though he had been relieved
of his every burden.  He no longer restricted her from the uncomfortable side
of his life and she, oddly enough, had not seemed frightened by it.  Contrary
to what he initially thought about her, she appeared to embrace everything she
learned about him.  Was it possible that she saw the man in him who was free to
be himself, not needing to defend his name or home from untruthful accusations?

His mystical
healer kicked at a pile of leaves and then giggled.  He had to admit, there was
a marked change in her as well.  Did she realize how delightfully bright her
eyes glistened when she smiled, and how hot his passion stirred for her when
she looked at him with a coy smile?

He nodded his
head, assuring himself that he had acted correctly.  His deal with Reece, while
still not final, was worth her release from the man.  Gray would wait to tell
her after the papers were signed and filed with the clerk.  There was no need
to pin her hopes on possibilities, especially when Reece was far from
trustworthy.  But until then, neither one of them had to walk around in fear
that the man would swoop into their lives like a hawk on unsuspecting prey. 
They could now enjoy getting to know each other without the voice of doom
greeting them at each dawn.

Movement redirected
Gray’s focus to the house.  His mother stood at the door, waving a hand towel
in the air.  She scanned the yard and her head stopped its swivel as she stared
in their direction.  She held her hand over her brow, blocking the morning rays
and shook the rag harder.  Clearly, she wanted their attention.  Calling to
Kat, he motioned toward the house.  The door to the kitchen bounced closed as
they walked in that general direction.

“Good morning,
mother,” Gray said as they entered the kitchen.  He released his arm from Kat’s
waist only long enough for her to step into the room ahead of him.

Laura glanced
down at Kat’s hip and then lifted a brow toward her son’s face.  “Kat, dear,
would you be so kind as to fetch a magnifying glass from my bedroom.”  She turned
her attention and smiled sweetly at the girl.  “I received a letter from my
sister in Charleston and would love to read it while drinking my tea.”

Kat looked up
at Gray and then to Laura.  “Certainly,” she said, lifting her shoulders, and
then turned for the stairs.

Gray watched
as she disappeared around the second rise.  He waited until the floorboards
creaked above his head, indicating that Kat was on the second floor and far
enough away from the kitchen to not overhear his conversation with his mother.

He lowered his
gaze under raised brows and crossed his arms over his chest.  “Since when do
you need a magnifying glass to read?  And when did your long dead sister move
to Charleston?”

Laura flashed
a smile that generally indicated she felt as though she had acted within her
motherly rights.  With a bat of her eyelashes, she slid a plate of hot biscuits
onto the table. 

“Wouldn’t you
agree,” she asked, keeping her voice low.  “If Kat searches for imaginary
items, it will be a while before she returns to the kitchen?”  Laura flipped a
dish towel over her shoulder and then cocked her hand on her hip.  She flicked
a glance over Gray’s shoulder and to the stairs.  “You and I have a few items
to discuss, and I thought it better that we speak them in private.  I thought
that was rather considerate on my part.  Do you disagree?”

She moved to
the cabinet and lifted down three breakfast plates from the cupboard.  She then
reached the pewter across to Gray.  Pointing to three empty places, she
indicated her desire for him to help with the table settings.

“Do you know
what today is?” she asked as though conducting casual conversation and handed
him a fistful of silverware.

He knew from
the cool tone to her voice where this discussion was headed and from the emotions
she had attached to it, he was not looking forward to the outcome of their
exchange.  He had prepared himself for a scathing reprimand three days ago. 
His mother’s silence could be tolerated but it was her lingering stares that
were brutal to dodge.  By maintaining quiet, she must have waited for him to
bring up the topic on his own.  His refusal to act before now seemed to add to
her irritation.

Gray carefully
laid a fork next to a butter knife, making sure the cutting side of the blade
faced in toward the plate.  “Yes, I’m aware of the day,” he said.  “I don’t
have a calendar in front of me but to the best of my recollection, I believe
today is Tuesday.”

His mother
tossed linen napkins in his direction.  The soft cloth struck him across the
chest and unfolded like a bib.  “Don’t use that tone with me, Grayson.  You
know very well what I’m asking you.”

He laid a
refolded cloth in the center of each plate.  “I’m not going to Crest Ridge
today, Mother.  I was there last week.”

Laura gripped
the carved finials sitting at the top of the chair and rocked the seat from
side to side, walking it forward.  “Today is her birthday, Grayson.  How can
you not spend the day with her?  Today of all days.”

“She doesn’t
need for me to be there on her birthday, Mother.  She will age another year
whether I’m present or not.  The day will not go unnoticed, if that’s your
concern.  I’m sure she will be served a cake, smothered in icing.”  Gray
captured Laura’s hands in his and waited for her to look up at him.  He cast a
quick glance over his shoulder and then leaned in close to his mother’s ear. 
“She doesn’t even know who I am,” he said, his voice low.

Laura pulled
away from him and her body stiffened.  She shook her head, refusing to accept
his words.  “She most certainly does know you,” Laura argued through tightly
set lips.

Gray ran his
hand through his hair.  “Yes,” he semi-conceded.  “She recognizes my face, but
she doesn’t know who we are to each other, and that she and I are related.  It
is becoming more difficult for me to see her.”

Laura pulled
back.  She raised her brows high and dropped her mouth open.  The hairs on the
back of Gray’s neck stood on end.  He had done his share of hunting, but it
wasn’t until this moment that he knew what it felt like to be trapped in a
snare.  Standing in front of his mother’s cunning glare, he felt as though he
was unable to flee.  He stared down the business end of an imaginary rifle
barrel and waited for her to pull the trigger.  Instead of squeezing off a
single shot, she lowered her chin and narrowed her eyes.  

“What are you
saying?  Do you plan to stop traveling to Crest Ridge all together?  When did
you think of this?  After Kat arrived?”  She lifted her chin and her eyes
widened, her pupils seeming to fill with revelation.  “That’s it, isn’t it? 
You haven’t told, Kat about her.  Have you?” she asked as though already
knowing the answer.

Gray gripped
the smooth slat of the chair back and squeezed the wood as though he could
strangle the complications from his life.  “Do you disapprove of my
relationship with Kat?  If so, at least be forthright with your accusations.”

“Forthright?” 
Laura chuckled.  “Son, I like Kat very much.  Certainly, you know that.  What I
disapprove of is you neglecting --”  

The top of the
stairs squeaked.  “Laura.  Are you certain you left the reading glass in your
bedroom?  I can’t find it anywhere,” Kat called from the second floor.

“It isn’t
important, Kat,” Gray assured her.  “Come on down for breakfast.  Mother will
be visiting my aunt soon enough and they will have ages to reminisce.”  He
turned toward his mother with his voice raised loud enough for Kat to hear, and
said, “I hope the heat won’t be too much for you, Mother.  You remember what
the pastor said about that part of the area having scorching humidity.  What
was it?  A dry heat that could be suffocating.”

“Now don’t you
worry about me.”  Laura reached up her hand and patted Gray’s cheek.  He
squinted down at her, certain the second tap was more of a slap than a kind
gesture.  “I’ll be going when I’m good and ready, and I’m not fool enough to
arrive in the middle of blue blazes.”

Kat cleared
the last step, and Gray held his arm out to her.  She slid into his caress as
though she fit his form perfectly.  He squeezed her closer to his side and
kissed the top of her head.  She was what he wanted, what he needed, in his
life.  She had expressed the same sentiments the day he thought she would
leave, and she now trusted him to find a way for her to remain at Oak Willow. 
At the time, her dilemma had seemed insurmountable.  Now, it was clear to him
that his decision to sell Reece access to the cave had been the obvious
solution.  A few more weeks should finalize everything.  He wished his
predicament with Crest Ridge could be handled as easily.

He held a
chair out for Kat and waited for her to sit.  His hand rested on her
shoulder.    He didn’t need to be reminded of today’s date.  If he planned to
move his life forward, he needed to resign himself to the events in Crest Ridge
staying as they were.  Across the table from him, his mother poured milk into a
serving pot.  She would never agree with his decision.  The one time he had
talked about ending his visits, Laura had accused him of being cold and
heartless.  In all honesty, he thought the same thing, at least at first. 

But with each
trip he made to Crest Ridge, he saw the way her frail body flourished under the
care of those around her.  Perhaps he should have stopped visiting her years
ago.  It might have made things easier for both of them.  Somehow that seemed
like a cowardly decision.  Even though he had distanced himself from her life,
he could never turn his back on her.  It had been his hope to return her to his
home, her home, but she was so delicate and needed the kind of care and attention
that he couldn’t provide.  For this reason, he had agreed to leave her where
she could be properly nurtured and cared for. 

“So if my
suggestion is so unappealing to you,” Laura said.  She hefted a cast iron
skillet from the stove and scraped gravy into a bowl.  “What are your plans for
the day?”

Gray waited
for his mother to sit and then took a seat opposite of her. 

Kat passed a
small ceramic bowl to Gray.  “Have you made plans for us?”

He drizzled a
comb full of honey over an open biscuit and shrugged.  “I thought we could have
a bon fire tonight.”

Kat’s face lit
with excitement.  He could almost see embers sparking to life in her green
eyes, shooting through the air like ramparts.  “That sounds wonderful,” she
said.

Laura ladled a
heaping scoop of gravy over a crumbled biscuit.  The peppered mass enveloped
the broken bits like a steaming mudslide, covering everything it touched with a
heavy thickness.  The goo stopped abruptly at the edge of her fried egg and
surrounded the raised lip.  Although sequestered, the flow threatened intrusion
at the first sign of a breech. 

“If that’s the
case,” Laura said.  She shoveled her fork under a dripping mound.  “What time
should I plan dinner?”  With one swift movement, her fork rose to her mouth and
the remaining gravy rushed to cover the gaping extraction.

Gray stretched
his hand toward Kat and curled his fingers around hers.  “Would you mind a late
meal?  Just the two of us?”

“That sounds
perfect,” Laura answered for Kat.  She spooned a small dollop of apple butter
on her plate.  “Kat and I will set everything in place while you take care of
the other matter we discussed earlier.”  Taking a breath, she raised her teacup
to her lips and blew across the steaming liquid.  She smiled over at him and
sipped her tea.  Her little finger rose delicately in the air, seeming to
balance her thinking.

“Other
matter?” Kat asked.  She sat a piece of uneaten biscuit back on her plate and
rubbed her fingertips across her napkin.  “Is this something I can help you
with?”

Everything
inside of him screamed for him to tell her that it was because of her that he
had the courage to make the trip today.  How he wished he could discuss the
details with her before he left.  He was certain she would listen.  She would
even understand, but he knew better than anyone that there was no one who could
put an end to this part of his life but him.  His mother had forced his
timetable, but she would not be happy with the outcome.  Today may be the
birthday of someone he loved, but he would celebrate for a completely different
reason.  Today would be a new beginning for a life that included Kat.

“No,” Gray
answered.  He laid his napkin on his plate and left his breakfast untouched. 
He pushed back in his chair and stood to leave.

“I’m glad
you’ll be able to honor your commitment, after all,” Laura said.  She returned
her cup to its saucer and then turned her attention to Kat.  “He was uncertain
if he would be able to attend this year.  A late night dinner around a bonfire
and a met obligation, it’s nice how things work out, isn’t it?”

Kat folded her
napkin and laid it next to her unused silverware.  She turned her attention to
Gray.  “How long will you be gone?”