Shades of Gray (16 page)

There it was,
deep in her eyes, Gray had hoped to never see that look again.  Hurt rimmed
with a little slice of panic.  And to worsen his guilt, he had been the one to
place it there.  She would miss him, that was clear, but he hoped to assure her
that he was anxious to return.

“I’ll be home
tonight,” he said.  He held his hand out to her and motioned her to the door. 
“I doubt anyone will notice if I leave early.”  He glared at his mother from
over the top of Kat’s head and let the door slam shut behind them.

Chapter 19

Polly
shuddered and stomped her hoof.  She tossed her coarse mane from one side of
her stretched neck to the other.  Kat found it hard to tell if the horse was
annoyed by the indecision of her rider or by the flies that bombed her head
like summer hail in a wheat field.  Either way, she seemed anxious to move on
to a new location. 

Gray needed to
exercise her more.  Being pampered was one thing, but the horse’s disposition
had led to laziness.  This morning, he had taken Stonewall, leaving Polly in
the stable.  She seemed the appropriate choice to provide Kat with a ride
through the countryside.  The horse had not volunteered to wear the bridle but
at least she hadn’t fought against it being fit in place.  Her annoyed
cooperation seemed to set the tone of her acceptance of Kat as a rider.

Kat leaned
forward in the saddle and rubbed her hand over Polly’s neck, trying to soothe
the disgruntled beast.  She wasn’t much happier than the horse, but at least
the two of them could comfort each other in their shared misery.  What had
started as an opportunity for a pleasant distraction from loneliness had become
an exercise in map reading and navigational skills.  Cortez couldn’t have had
this much trouble following the Aztec’s directions in his search for gold. 

With Gray gone
for the day, Laura had suggested Kat explore the area south of Oak Willow.  It
would allow her a chance to investigate the vicinity and get her out from under
Laura’s dust cloth.  Apparently, a lake-fed waterfall gave the town boasting
rights.  Kat had relented.  She did like pastoral settings and if the scenery
was as beautiful as Laura let on, it would allow her an opportunity to organize
her thoughts.  Besides, with Gray gone, there was little to occupy her time
within the house. 

Laura seemed
to prefer solitude when it came to housework.  Since Kat’s arrival, all of her
attempts to help had been dismissed.  Suggestions, although kind in nature,
sent her to locations far from where Laura planned to clean.  Today had been no
different.  Kat wondered what Laura intended to tackle today that needed the
house to be empty for the entire day.  Nevertheless, a scenic outing would
distract her thoughts from how much she missed spending time with Gray. 

Kat had tucked
bread and cheese into his saddlebag while he tacked up his horse this morning. 
She wasn’t sure how far he had to travel, but he would need nourishment along
the way.  He had said, he would return tonight.  They would have a late dinner
by a bonfire.  It all sounded ideal, but for her to fill the hours in between
the time he left and the time he would return home seemed like torture, and she
didn’t relish a minute of it. 

Polly
shuddered and craned her neck.  Kat leaned low and peered over at her.  They
stared at each other, one wide, brown eye to one squinted, green eye, waiting
for the other to flinch.  It may have appeared that Polly shook herself to
remove unwanted flies, but Kat was certain it was an intentional nudge. 
Apparently, the nag had waited long enough and thought it pertinent to motivate
Kat to decide on a direction.  Deliberately stalling, Kat opened the water
bladder, slung around her neck, and took a long sip.  She replaced the stopper
and wiped her fingers over her lip, remembering Gray’s words before he left Oak
Willow. 

Ready to
leave, he had pulled Kat into his arms and spoke reassuringly to her, promising
to take care of his obligation and to return home as quickly as possible.  At
the time, she had thought the wait would be bearable.  She lifted the bladder
and sipped again.  Water streamed down her throat, quenching her parched mouth
and lips.  It did seem odd that he had forgotten an annual commitment.  From
what she knew of Gray, he was an overtly responsible person, almost to the
point of fault.  It was hard to fathom that anything important could slip his
notice.  Not that she would ask him to neglect his responsibility, but she was
anxious for him to return.  Hopefully, he would be able to satisfy whatever was
needed from him and return home as scheduled. 

Home.  She
held the water bag to her chest and smiled.  Was it wrong that she had begun
thinking of Oak Willow as her home?  Gray had tried to make her comfortable and
had indicated that he wanted her to remain in his life.  Granted, he hadn’t
mentioned marriage, but he seemed very honorable.  Surely, he wouldn’t expect
her to live with him without a wedding to indicate that the church sanctioned
their potential union. 

She touched
her hand to the cameo he had given her.  It wasn’t a ring, but it was a token
to indicate his feelings for her.  Glancing down at her left hand, she raised
her third finger.  Was it possible that the reason he gave in so easily to his
mother’s reminder was to revisit the merchant and obtain a wedding band?  She
tingled from the inside out and drew her shoulders up, smiling broadly.  He did
like to surprise her.  She shook her head and folded her hands on her lap.  It
wasn’t a good idea to assume.  She would have to act surprised.  Would a quick
gasp and wide, blinking eyes be appropriate?  Or maybe, she could demonstrate
shortness of breath and fan both of her hands at her face?  No, that would be
melodramatic.  She bit on the end of her fingernail.  Would Laura accept her as
a daughter-in-law?  The older woman seemed to like her well enough, but at
present, she clearly viewed Kat as a houseguest. 

Laura did seem
uncomfortable that Gray had made a public declaration of his and Kat’s
relationship.  It was hard to discourage him from holding her hand when Kat
reached for him as much as he did for her.  Laura had tried to divide the
couple with disapproving glares and raised eyebrows from their first display of
affection.  How long would it take for her to become accustomed to an
additional woman in her son’s life?  Surely she would accept her when she
realized how much Kat loved and cared for her son. 

Love.  Kat
hadn’t thought about that word, but it was true.  She loved Gray.  She wasn’t
sure when it had started, but she knew without any uncertainty that their first
kiss was when she knew she wanted no one else to ever kiss her again.  Reece. 
He had kissed her first, if you could call his harsh attempts a caress.  Their
lips had touched, and he had forced her to open her mouth and accept a more
intrusive version of his assault.  Her lip snarled at the memory.  Glad that
she didn’t have to go back to Reece, she was even happier that Gray wanted her
to stay with him at Oak Willow.  

She pinned the
water bladder between her thigh and Polly’s side, reached behind her, and
pulled a piece of bread from the saddlebag.  Laura had been kind enough to pack
a meal for her while she saddled her horse.  With only enough for one meal, she
wondered if she should ration her supplies.  If she didn’t find the lake soon,
she would be late in returning to Oak Willow.  She bit off a chunk of the hard
crust and studied the hand-drawn map while she chewed. 

In front of
her, the oak tree separated the road just like the map indicated.  The
waterfall couldn’t be much farther.  Surely she would hear the cascading water
as she drew near.  She nudged Polly forward, and an acidic smell drifted in
with a new fly raid.  A wood fire burned nearby.  A house had to be around the
bend.  Maybe the people who lived there would be able to provide additional
directions to the lake. 

She swatted at
the insects, clearing her view of the scenery.  Laura was right.  This area was
very pretty.  She could only imagine how soothing her destination would be. 
Polly rounded the bend, and Kat glanced over at her new horizon.  Her mouth
dropped open, and she pulled back on the reins. 

Ahead of her,
a plot of ground had been portioned to comfortably support a house, barn, and a
few out buildings.  Farm animals grazed in the nearby pasture and a large
garden seemed sufficient to support a family.  At the front of the house, stood
the one thing that seemed out of place.  Stonewall.  Gray’s horse stood in the
front yard, contentedly drinking from a water trough.  He seemed very
comfortable with his surroundings. 

Kat moved
Polly toward the side of the trail and tried to blend into the shrubbery.  If
Stonewall was here, so was Gray.  He hadn’t said where his obligation was to
take place, but this house was secluded and far away from town. 

Walking in
front of Stonewall, Gray moved into view and headed toward the front porch. 
His head bent forward and his shoulders slumped as though he carried a heavy
burden.  His empty hands hung loose at his sides.  What kind of obligation
didn’t require tools or documents to complete the job?  Gray had indicated that
his meeting today would finalize his responsibility.  Surely there would be
paperwork that needed filing with the clerk when finished. 

Kat looped the
water bag over her shoulder and dismounted.  She nuzzled Polly’s nose in an
attempt to calm both of their anxieties. 

Gray neared
the door of the house, and a piercing squeal wailed to his right.  A little
girl giggled and ran toward him, her hands thrown in the air.  Her chubby
cheeks jiggled as she ran.  Loose, black hair danced around her shoulders. 

“Papa, look,”
she screamed, continuing to run toward Gray. 

Papa?

Gray turned in
the direction of the excited toddler, and his face lit with matching
enthusiasm.  Bending low, he caught her under the arms, and swung her high in
the air.  Spinning her in a circle, he brought her into his arms, sealing their
meeting with a hug and kiss.  “Happy birthday, my big girl,” he said, the sides
of their faces pressed together. 

Smiling
brightly, her chubby cheeks squeezed her eyes shut.  She held to Gray as though
he was her favorite doll.  A strange man stepped from the barn, and Kat turned
her attention from the happy reunion.  The farmer bore no resemblance to the
child.  While his body was rugged and hewn from strenuous work, his features
were long and narrow, unlike the delicate nose and chin of the girl.  Kat moved
her focus to the eyes and mouth of the grinning imp.  These two features
mirrored perfectly to the man who held her.  Kat’s stomach rolled and her hand
dropped from Polly’s nose.  There was no doubt in her mind that Gray held his
daughter in his arms. 

The girl’s
legs dangled below his hips and from this distance, she looked to be four or
five years old.  Gray and Daria’s child would have been that age, had she
lived.  Gray had told her that his baby had been stillborn.  Why would he lie
about that?

“Momma.”  The
little girl called to the woman coming through the front doorway.

Kat pulled her
head up and moved her attention to the dark haired woman stepping from the
house.  Tall and thin, she was very attractive.  Kat looked closer, and she
staggered as though her breath had been knocked from her lungs.  The woman
looked a great deal like the portrait of Daria.  She tried to swallow but
couldn’t produce any saliva.  It wasn’t possible.  Daria was dead.  Gray and
Laura had both told her that.  The ghostly woman hurriedly wiped her hands on
her apron and rushed to Gray.  He welcomed her into his embrace and kissed her
cheek.

Lightheaded,
Kat couldn’t bear to watch any more of the family reunion.  Shaking, she put
her foot in the stirrup and tried to pull herself up into the saddle.  The
bottom of her shoe slid free of the metal rung, and she fell to the ground,
landing on her backside.  If she could disappear into the decaying leaves, she
would welcome her demise. 

“Kat,” a
voiced called from the house.

Wide-eyed, Kat
jerked her head to the left.  Gray pushed the little girl into his wife’s arms
and rushed toward her.  Scrambling to her feet, Kat grabbed for the reins and
threw herself upward.  Not completely settled in the seat, she kicked at Polly
and pointed her away from the house.  Leather slapped leather behind her.  Kat
shifted herself upright and squeezed her knees harder, no longer caring to see
the sights. 

Polly was
sluggish and out of shape.  Stonewall would easily overtake her within a few
furlongs.  Why couldn’t Gray let her leave?  There was nothing he could say to
her that could make a difference.  It was clear that he and his mother had
developed this ruse, but why?  Her heart beat faster and a chill slipped all
around her, covering her in a feeling of icy death.  If no one knew that his
wife and daughter still lived, it was obvious that he would not want to chance
Kat divulging guarded information. 

She kicked
Polly harder, not caring about the animal, and dodged a low hanging branch. 
Pulling back on the reins, Polly reared and whinnied at the mixed command.  Kat
rolled off of the inclined body and hit the ground.  Hoof beats thundered
closer.  Stonewall shortened the distance between her and Gray.  Kat yanked the
back hem of her dress between her legs and tucked it into the front of her
waistband.  She raced to the tree root, ripped a dangling branch free of the
trunk, and climbed the gnarled bark.  If Gray was distracted with the notion of
overtaking her, he might have forgotten about this obstacle.  She straddled the
limb and inched her way to its center.  Locking her ankles at the bottom of the
bough, she hefted the broken branch over her head and waited. 

Her wait was
brief.  Stonewall barreled around the corner.  His head bent low and his
nostrils flared.  Gray replicated the treacherous look. 

Not watching
her target, Kat closed her eyes and swung.  She twisted at the waist and her
arms bent sideways, wrapping around her shoulders.  Caught off balance, she
fell to the ground.  Dirt and rough stones scratched her cheek.  She pushed up
on one hand, her hair falling in front of her face.  Dizziness swirled around
her.  She pushed herself upright and sat on the ground, holding her head.