Shades of Gray (18 page)

He shook his
head and stared off to the side of the room.  Had he waited too long to reveal
his identity to his daughter?  He could only speculate what Lily's response
would be when she learned the truth.  Would she hate him for isolating her from
her home, and from him?  His hand moved instinctively to his pocket.  This was
a decision that he didn't want to make on his own.  If he was going to have a
life with Kat, her thoughts needed to be considered.  He would never abandon
Lily.  That was one matter that was without option.  Although the little girl
was possibly moving home, he needed to know if Kat was willing to be a mother
to his child.  She had not indicated a desire either way when they had spoken
an hour ago.  It would be late when he returned home, but he would learn the
answer to that question tonight.

Chapter 21

Kat swayed on
Polly’s back, gliding from left to right with the side to side motion of the
animal.  She sniffled and breathed deeply, allowing the tears to continue down
her cheeks unencumbered.  As much as she tried to make sense of the day, she
couldn’t decide if she was relieved or angry where Lily was concerned.  It was
best to let the horse meander without direction while she tried to make sense
of the day. 

Gray had
followed after her and wanted to discuss her reaction.  It was hard to know
what to tell him when she wasn’t certain of her own thoughts.  Seeing Marta,
who looked so much like the painting of Daria, had been enough of a shock. 
Many men had mistresses.  Tucking them away in remote homes served their needs
while maintaining their reputation among honorable, upstanding citizens.  Gray
had done neither.  His reputation in Hampton was as soiled as the dress she
wore.  A fresh round of tears spilled down her cheeks.  If he had a mistress,
people would most likely express curiosity to know what type of woman would
connect herself to such a man.  Kat scoffed.  What did that say about her?  She
had never cared what other people thought. 

Since meeting
Gray, she had come to know him as a caring and honest person.  He exuded
characteristics that all of the local residents seemed to have forgotten about
him.  But now, she realized Gray had been just as deceitful as his reputation
painted him.  His child was proof of that.  She could accept a widower with a
daughter, but he had not given her the chance to prove herself honest of the
thought.  He had allowed her to fall in love with him.  Did he keep a mistress
nearby, as well?

The girl,
Lily, seemed delightful.  From the distance Kat stood when she saw her, it was
clear that the girl loved Gray.  Why would he not claim her as his own?  The
distance he maintained between them did lend to Kat’s mistress speculation. 
She closed her eyes and shook her head, remembering the jumble of words and
excuses he had formulated when trying to explain what she had seen.  She was in
no position to pass judgment.  This part of his life was of no concern to her. 

They had built
a friendship and had drawn close; she had even thought she loved him.  He
clearly had not felt the same way.  A man in love would want to share all
aspects of his life with a woman he hoped to marry.  She snorted at her
stupidity and looked skyward.  How ludicrous she had been.  Gray had expressed
a few feelings of affection for her, but had never mentioned marriage.  He had
been kind and thoughtful, but nothing more.  She was such a fool to think he
would want her.  A wounded animal without means to care for itself would have
received the same attention he had shown her.  Perhaps he thought his added
attention would speed along her recovery.  Once she had healed, she would
continue on her way, without him. 

If she hadn’t
seen Lily, Kat would have continued on in her illusion.  It was good that she
had gone for a ride.  She pulled back on the reins and thought about this
morning.  Laura had been clear on the directions she had given her, expressing
how this route offered the most pleasant of sceneries.  Kat slapped her hand on
her thigh and cursed her own idiocy.  Laura had wanted her away from Oak Willow
more than Gray.  What better way to get her to leave.  Show her what was most
important to Gray, his daughter, and then leave no room in his life for her. 

Kat shook her
head, flinging her tears from her cheeks.  Without discussion, her future had
been decided for her.  Laura had made it abundantly clear that Gray and Lily
would not be part of Kat’s life.  She had not even been given a chance to know
the girl.  But from what she had seen in Crest Ridge, welcoming Lily into her
life would have been as natural as if she had been her own child.  Weight pulled
at her heart, creating a void in an area reserved for the most cherished of
emotions. 

Polly stood
dormant beneath her.  Ahead of them, a fork in the road offered two choices. 
One path led to Oak Willow, and the other to Hampton Township.  The mare
waited, seeming to leave the choice of direction to her rider.  Kat twirled her
finger in the horse’s mane.  The rough strands flipped in erratic circles, and
Polly shook herself.  There was really only one answer to Kat’s conundrum. 
Knowing what to do was simple compared to stepping forward and making strides
toward the goal. 

Kat breathed
deep and clutched the reins, readying herself for the next course of her life. 
She reconstructed the plan that had brought her to Oak Willow, and sighed.  How
fitting it was that employment would be in her thoughts when she entered and
left the Gregory home.  She squeezed her knees, nudging the horse onward, and
steered her to the left.  Casting a glance down the other lane, she mentally
promised to return Polly as soon as she found employment.  Surely Gray wouldn’t
begrudge her transportation.

She rested her
hands in her lap, devising her plan as she traveled.  She was well enough for
labor, but what if no one was in need of an assistant?  What would she do until
she found work?  Perhaps a shop owner would be willing to provide room and
board in exchange for menial labor, at least until she could prove her worth. 

She thought
back to her first day in Hampton.  Reece had whisked her to his home
immediately after her arrival, leaving her with nothing more than a quick
greeting to the patrons in the General Store.  Mr. Shields, the owner, had been
there.  Perhaps he would welcome a shop girl who could convince local woman to
purchase the more costly yard goods rather than the standard linen and
broadcloth.  She did have a flair for fashion and a mind for figures.

She wiped the
back of her hand across her cheeks and then swatted at a fly.  Oak Willow, and
her time for tears, was behind her.  In the approaching distance, Hampton and
the murkiest future she had ever faced, loomed in front of her.  Regardless of
what lie ahead, Kat was determined to live an honorable life, no matter how
lonely.  No one was guaranteed happiness.  Why should she expect it?

An S-shaped
curve was all that separated her future from her present.  Polly whinnied and
pranced, bringing Kat sharply alert.  Her unanswered thoughts would have to
wait.  The mare shook her head, fighting the metal bit as Kat struggled for
control of the horse.  Tightening the reins, she grabbed a firm hold of the
mane and readied herself for a furious ride.  She spoke in soothing tones and
patted the animal’s neck. 

“There,
there,” she said.  “We’re not going home now.  I’ll return you later.”  Kat
glanced around to see what had spooked the horse.

Around the
upcoming bend, a rider slowly walked his stallion into the open.  Polly’s eyes
widened and she reared.  Unconcerned for the rider she carried, she thrust her
forelegs in the air and kicked her hooves as though she fought to save her
life.  Kat held to the saddle.  It would be pointless to try to maintain
control of her mount in her present, frantic state.  She cast a quick glance
over the cone shaped ears.  The black stallion standing across from them
appeared more aroused than agitated.  At least his rider kept a wide distance
and remained on the far side of the road.

“If you aren’t
returning to Oak Willow, Katherine, where are you going?”  Reece asked when
Polly stopped rearing.  “My house, per chance?” 

Uneasiness
shot from animal to rider, and Kat loosened her hold on the reins.  Polly
lurched forward and the stallion jolted, blocking their exit.  Reece grabbed
the bridle and Polly snorted.  Kat was convinced she saw the mare turn her head
and snap at the unwelcomed hand.  It was too bad she didn’t connect.

“Let me pass,”
Kat demanded.  “I have business in town.”  She pulled on the reins and tried to
maneuver around the blockade. 

“I haven’t
heard of an appointment,” Reece said, holding to her horse.

“My business
doesn’t concern you.”

He moved his
stallion beside her and Polly nickered.  “You are wrong,” he said.  His gaze
slid down and then back up her torso.  She shivered as though he had stripped
her naked and raked a wire brush, dipped in vinegar, over her skin.  “Everything
about you concerns me.  And since you are well, it is time you left Oak
Willow.  We do have a wedding to attend.  You haven’t forgotten, have you?”

Kat sneered at
him and hoped her voice wouldn’t shake.  “I’ll not marry you.”  

“Yes.  You
will.”  He let go of the reins, but didn’t distance himself.  “I want you to
forget the misguided notion of securing work in town.  No one will hire you, if
that’s what you’re considering.”

She opened her
mouth to protest, but closed her jaw slowly as she considered the meaning
behind his statement.  Powder lines showed at his hair’s edge.  With no wig in
place, his reddish-brown tones seemed as though they had been groomed in a
rush.  He generally took care to maintain his illusion of perfection. 
Something drastic must have prompted a break in his routine.  She narrowed her
view and studied him closely.  At this range, the slightest glimmer of
hesitation would be noticeable. 

Sitting
stoically, he studied his nails and then rubbed the manicured cuticles on his pant
leg.  So cocksure of himself, he sat stiff shouldered and straight backed.  A
nervous tingle charged her alert.  There was no mistaking his meaning.  She
thought back to their brief time in town.  Everyone had seemed to cower when
Reece spoke to them, everyone except Gray.  A smile flicked the corners of her
mouth as she remembered the confrontation between the two men that had freed
her imprisonment.  Not only had Gray faced him, he had fired a shotgun at him. 
A meager thought to mention Gray’s name entered her thoughts, and she wondered
if she would be able to reinstate the fear Reece had once known. 

“Your hero
will be detained,” Reece said, without raising his gaze.  He spoke as though he
read her mind.

“How do you
--”

“How do I know
where Gray is and why he is detained?”  He leaned in, the smell of radishes
strong on his breath.  He dragged his tongue across parted lips, and a sinister
smile pulled into place.  “For the same reason, Love, that I know you will
return to Oak Willow and tell Laura about your decision.”

Kat pulled her
attention to a swaying bottle brush bush over his shoulder.  She drew her brows
together, certain that she had not spoken aloud when considering her choices. 
Even if he had been skulking nearby, he would not have known what she thought.

“I’m not
returning to Oak Willow,” she stated more assuredly than she thought possible.

“Oh, but you
are,” Reece said.  “And when you do, you will inform Laura that you are
returning to my home.”

Kat pulled
back, and Polly shuddered.  Had the animal understood the exchange?  “Laura
won’t believe me,” Kat said, certain that if he could read minds, he had missed
that part of her silent conversation.

He leaned in
and looked deep into the far reaches of her soul.  Had he developed a penchant
for gypsy, fortune telling?  “Laura will believe you when you tell her that
Gray doesn’t need a wife.  Instead of being a husband, he needs to be a father
to Lily, his daughter.”

Everything
within her range of vision pulled away from her, and she tilted off center.  An
eerie sensation of falling into a bottomless abyss emptied her lungs.  Gasping
anything to remain aware, she fought to force air in and out of her body.  His
words swirled around her, dropping the temperature surrounding her like a
cloudburst in a winter fog.  His menacing laughter drove the chills deep into
her bones. 

“How do you
know about Lily?” she stammered.

“Did you think
I would confront you without a viable means to force your return?  You don’t
seem to be as enamored with my charms as I hoped.”  He shrugged.  “Now that we
know you will not refuse my order, go tell the old crone that you are returning
to Mullins Manor.  And be convincing.  As long as she believes this is your
decision, she won’t stop you.  Not that her opinion is of any concern to me,
but it seems to matter to you.”

“Returning to
you isn’t my decision,” Kat snapped.  He didn’t need to know it wasn’t her
desire to leave Gray, either.  She leaned into the saddle.  “I won’t go back to
you.  I would rather live in an alleyway than return to you.  You are evil. 
You nearly killed me.”

His brow rose
and one side of his mouth pulled to the side.  He slowly lowered his gaze, his
attention lingering on her breasts.  “You appear to be in good health.”

“Thanks to
Gray,” she reminded him.  “He nursed me back to health after you beat me.”

A line of
spittle moistened his lips.  “Isn’t that saintly of him.”  He brushed his
tongue along his mouth and shifted his position in the saddle.  Looking at her
as though he had entered the winning bid at the auction block, he said, “I’m a
man who will have what I want.  And I want you.”

“Why do you
want a woman who wants nothing to do with you?” Kat asked.  The words slipped
into the open before she could prevent their escape.

“Because I
bought and paid for you.  That’s why.”

A hot breeze
swooped between them, and Kat caught her breath.  She hadn’t expected his
response to be filled with such venom.  Fierce anger boiled within her.  Gray
was hours away.  He would not be nearby to ward off any plans Reece had.  Fury
flowed through her in a rush, and she doubted she would need anyone to come to
her aid today.

“I won’t do
it.”  Her words were clear and precise.  It would take an addled minded dimwit
to not comprehend her meaning.  “I will pay you for any expense I have caused
you,” she offered, hoping her proffer would satisfy any legality that bound her
to him.