Shadow: Cerberus MC Book 3 (23 page)

I turn to see Misty gathering up her clothes for bed.

“I’m going to grab a shower and go to bed,” she says, gently dismissing me.

I nod at her when all I really want to do is take her in my arms and hold her against me. I want to promise her the world and work every damn day of the rest of my life making those promises come to fruition. She doesn’t seem to be in the mood for such declarations right now.

Maintaining my restraint, I walk to her, kiss her on her forehead, and leave her to her thoughts and shower.

I yearn for some form of amber, burning liquid to calm my nerves, but I walk into my room empty handed. After my realization, all too recently, that I always turn to alcohol when I’m overrun with emotions, I’ve decided to leave the shit alone, if only for a while to prove to myself I’m not an alcoholic.

I kick off my boots, strip down, and hit the shower. Toweling off, I hate the way Griffin’s empty crib looks in here. I hate how my bed looks, covers rumpled from earlier, empty as well.

Climbing out of that bed this morning while Misty still lay curled up on it was torture. Taking care of my erection in the shower while she was sleeping between my sheets was the ultimate in control. I swore to myself I was going to woo her. I was going to crawl inside of her heart and bury myself so deep she wouldn’t ever be able to walk away from me. I didn’t think sinking into her while she was softly snoring this morning was the best way to begin that mission.

Naked, I crawl into the bed, turning my head to breathe in the scent of her body she left behind. I grip her pillow and hold it to my nose. I need this. Every day I need to be wrapped in her scent. I need to be wrapped in her while I’m wrapped around her.

I groan in frustration and throw the offending pillow across the bed. Lying flat on my back, I stare up at the ceiling as if it’s got all the answers to my problems. It doesn’t.

I climb out of bed and shove my legs into a pair of flannel pants. I stand with my forehead against the door and think of horrible things; my wrecked bike in the garage, my grandmother’s funeral, and the way I see Bri lusting after Dominic. I think of anything and everything I can to make my hard-on dissipate. Showing up in her room with a huge tent in my pants probably won’t win her over.

Once my flag stops waving, I step out into the hall and knock gently on Misty’s door. When she doesn’t answer, I take the liberty of letting myself in. I see her small form snuggled deep into the covers. I glance over at Griffin, who is also consumed by his exhaustion from the day.

I tell myself I’m just going to slide in behind her and wrap my arms around her. My body is demanding her touch, the soft silkiness of her skin. I look up to the ceiling. Once again I beg for control when I pull the covers back, and my eyes land on Misty in only a tank top and a tiny pair of lace underwear.

As softly as I can, I lie down behind her, wrapping my arm around her stomach. She shifts slightly and places her hand over mine. I breathe deep and shift my hips firmly against her ass. The erection I fought so hard to rid myself of before coming over here is back with a vengeance, springing solid when I lifted the blankets.

My head is directly behind hers, and I inhale a stronger version of the scent she left behind on my pillows. Nothing compares to breathing in the delicate fragrance straight from the source. Without hesitation, I lean in closer and kiss her shoulder. A soft peck was my only intention, but the softness of her warm skin against my lips would never be enough.

My tongue reaches out and traces the curve of her shoulder. I feel a slight tremble flow through her body, so I suck the skin at the base of her ear gently.

She releases my hand and turns in my grasp, inching back and breaking her body’s contact with mine.

“I can’t do this,” she says as a tear flows from the corner of her eye and across the bridge of her nose. “Every time you come in here and fuck me, you leave. It kills me more each and every time. My heart can’t handle it.”

Well, if that isn’t a fucked up way for her to tell me that she loves me
and
that I’m a piece of shit.

I reach up and wipe away the tears that continue to fall.

“That’s not what this is.” She gives me an incredulous look. “Not anymore.”

I hold on to the back of her neck and scoot closer to her, going to her rather than forcing her against me. I kiss her with small, closed-mouth pecks at first. Her breathing changes, but she doesn’t give in immediately, keeping her mouth closed.

I lick across her lips, and I feel them quiver.

“Let me in,” I plead. I’m asking for so much more than just access to her mouth, to her body.

She whimpers softly but opens her mouth slightly. The rush of air through my nose is loud in the quiet room when she finally grants me permission to slip my tongue inside to tangle with hers.

Her small hand finds my hip then runs up my back. The delicate touch almost tickles until I roll my hips against her core. She grips me then, her short fingernails digging into my flesh. I relish the feel of her need as it escapes out of the tips of her hand.

I shift my weight to roll us over, and I settle between the space she’s made between her thighs. I can feel the damp heat of her center against my body as her panties provide no form of a barrier for her desire.

Resting most of my upper body weight on my forearms, I cup her face with both of my hands. I kiss her mouth slowly as my thumbs wipe away her tears. If I’m the one who shattered her heart, then it’s my responsibility to piece it back together. That’s exactly my plan tonight. Making love to her, showing her with my body how much I care for her is the one thing I have in my arsenal that I’ve never shared with another woman.

I’m all about making a woman come, giving her exactly what she needs at that moment to let go and dive off the cliff, be it fast and hard or soft and slow. Yet, I’ve never allowed my heart to even factor into the equation. Tonight is a first for me, and I hope she’ll understand what I say with my body that I’m not able to say with my words.

She finally relents as my tongue sweeps inside of her mouth, tangling her tongue with mine. When I pull away slightly, her head lifts off of the pillow and maintains our contact. The tremble that wracked her body earlier now finds its way into mine. My whole body seems to shake as she gives into me.

I kiss both of her weeping eyes before slowly lifting her tank top up and finding her peaked nipple with my mouth. She arches her back slightly, pressing harder against my tongue. I hear a frustrated whimper as I release her pebbled flesh and slowly lick and kiss down her stomach.

My tongue traces the six-inch scar on her lower belly, loving her even more knowing Griffin made his entry into the world from that very spot. My hands find the thin lace of her panties. She lifts her hips marginally so I can slide them down her thighs. She moans as the scruff of my beard teases her delicate skin.

I thought the smell of her shampoo and the light fragrance of her skin was the most incredible scent in the world, but it doesn’t even compare to the scent of her pussy. I run my nose up her thigh and let my lips drift over her center. Her hips buck suddenly at the action, looking for more.

I chuckle lightly and spread her legs out and up, holding each of them in my hands, tilting her hips to the perfect angle.

“So beautiful,” I praise looking at the soft, pink flesh.

I tease her entrance with the very tip of my tongue, and she fights against my hold on her legs. I nip at her inner thigh in warning, and she stops trying to control the situation immediately.

“Please,” she begs with a muffled groan.

I peek up to see her forearm resting against her mouth. I want to tug her arm away so I can hear every sound that my actions force from her mouth, but I know she’s doing it so we won’t wake the baby.

I trace and outline every inch of flesh at the apex of her thighs, flicking a stiff tongue against her clit. Releasing one of her thighs, I run my fingers over her entrance and slowly slip two of them inside. Her body quakes and throbs at my intrusion. I can tell she’s so close by the way her sounds have changed, the increase in temperature around my fingers, and the light layer of sweat that’s on her skin. Giving her one final hard suck on her clit, I pull my mouth and my fingers away.

I slide back up her body while tugging my pajama pants down my thighs. I kick them off and shove them further away into the tangled sheets at the foot of the bed. I lift her tank top over her head and toss it to the side. I don’t want a stitch of clothing on our bodies when I take her; give myself to her.

I lean down to kiss her, and she feverishly raises her head to meet my mouth halfway. With an expert shift of my hips, my cock lines itself up at her core. I squeeze my eyes closed as I sink slowly inside of her, joining myself with a woman bare for only the second time in my life.

Hot, heavenly bliss wraps its way around me, engulfing me in pleasure I’d never thought I’d feel again. I feel her strong legs encircle my waist and pull me tighter against her. I keep my hips static as I kiss her mouth, enjoying just the feeling of being buried so deep inside of her.

It isn’t until she grips my ass in her small hand that I’m reminded that there’s more to do than just kiss her senseless. I grind myself harder against her before slowly drawing myself back and sliding back in.

“Jesus,” I pant against her mouth.

I feel her lips turn up in a smile, and I’m grateful her tears have stopped. I’ll do anything in my power to never see dampness cloud her beautiful dark eyes ever again.

I watch her face as my hips keep their slow but steady rhythm. Words I’ve never spoken to a woman before are on the tip of my tongue, but she seems unable to handle me looking at her so passionately, and she tilts her lips up to mine, offering her mouth for another kiss.

Her moans and whimpers become erratic, as does the pumping of my hips. I cover her cries with my mouth as she orgasms around me. The tight clenching and pulsing muscles of her core force my balls to tighten against my body. The first wave of my orgasm almost causes me to crumple on top of her. I catch myself just in time and stroke my cock slowly in and out as her orgasm continues to milk mine.

I kiss her softly as my breathing refuses to regulate as quickly as it normally does. My heart is pounding in my chest; my pulse echoing around in my head more than it ever has. This, physically, wasn’t the most aerobic sex I’ve ever had, but my body easily recognizes it as the best.

I trail my nose up her jawline, breathing in harsh pants. I can feel her heart pounding in a forceful beat against my chest as well.

Tracing her lips with my thumb, I look into her eyes.

“You’re so fucking beautiful. I can’t imagine a more perfect mother for my child.”

She tries to turn her face away from my admission, but I hold her steady with my other hand.

The tears I never wanted to see again somehow manage to sneak down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through,” she says with a broken sob.

“No, Darlin’,” I say. “You coming here was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me.”

I see her eyes dart toward Griffin’s crib, and she looks back up to me with so much pain in her eyes, my heart begins to break for hers.

“No one will ever take our son from us, Misty. I’ll die before I ever let that happen.” She nods her head as much as she can in my grip.

I gently pull myself from her body and shift my weight so I’m lying at her side. I don’t waste a word worrying about not using protection with her. She’s mine whether she accepts it or not. Another baby would just give me one more person on this earth to love, and I’m finding quickly that once I opened my heart, there’s plenty of room for more.

I pull her against my chest and wrap both of my arms around her back.

“You’re staying?” she asks softly.

“Armageddon couldn’t force me out of this bed,” I say and kiss the top of her head.

I wake with a start and have to wonder if Armageddon did strike while I was asleep because my arms reach out and find an empty mattress. I don’t have long to worry about Shadow once again leaving me alone in bed because I can hear Griffin cooing from his crib.

I turn over and smile as my eyes land on Shadow’s back as he’s bent over changing the baby’s diaper.

“You sure are stinky for something so small,” I hear him whisper to our son.

I watch in the dim light as Shadow redresses him and tosses the dirty diaper into the
Diaper Genie
. He catches me watching him when he turns back to the bed with Griffin in his arms. Shadow smiles softly, whereas Griffin sees me and begins to throw a fit.

Shadow brought him in and put him in his crib without me nursing him earlier. Clearly, he’s feeling the loss of the missed feeding right now. I sit up in bed with my back against the headboard and situate a pillow over my lap. Reaching out my arms, I take Griffin from Shadow.

I raise him to my breast as Shadow climbs back into the bed. He has me lean up slightly so he can get partially between me and the headboard. He pulls me back against his warm chest, and I let my eyes drift closed. One of his arms is wrapped around my back and resting on the curve of my hip, and I can feel his other one gently stroking Griffin’s head.