Shadow: Cerberus MC Book 3 (27 page)

He pulls me against his chest, and every inch of my lonely body is touching part of his. He encapsulates me in his warmth as my quiet sobs take over.

“Darlin’,” he says softly.

I shake my head. I don’t need to hear any more. The sting of his rejection is bad enough without putting it into words.

I feel the soft brush of his lips against mine.

One last time, I promise myself. I’ll let him have me this very last time. Allow our bodies to say goodbye. Then we can move forward as Griffin’s parents. Finally, my heart can heal.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he says as his warm mouth travels down my neck.

He’s missed fucking you, Misty. Don’t get your hopes up
.

“I missed you, too,” I say in a breathless whisper.

“Is he asleep?” he asks.

I look at him confused. His fingers are trailing down the skin of my stomach, and I can’t seem to concentrate on anything else.

He chuckles. “Is Griffin asleep?”

I nod. “He’s been down for about an hour,” I answer, letting my head roll on my shoulders as his mouth finds my nipple through the thin cotton of my tank top.

“How’s his week been?”

Why in the world are we talking about this right now?

“Fine,” I groan.

His fingers are gripping my ass in each hand. He lifts gently, and my legs instinctively go around his waist.

“Sleeping through the night?”

“Yes,” I pant.

“Perfect,” he says walking me down the hall toward the bedroom. “Because I don’t plan on stopping until the sun comes up.”

One last time? One last night? There’s not really a difference, right?

His mouth finds mine as he lowers me slowly to the queen-sized bed.

“I’m not good at words, Darlin’,” he says against my lips. “Let me show you with my body how I feel.” He rolls his hips against my center, and I melt in his arms.

The insistent throbbing between my legs takes over. I’m mindless when he peels my shirt over my head. I don’t think twice about raising my hips to make it easier for him to remove my shorts and panties.

His thick fingers spread me open, and I feel his hot breath a second before his tongue sweeps over my clit.

“Oh God,” I moan. The mouth on this man.

I rotate my hips against his working mouth, reveling in the feel of his flattened tongue on my delicate flesh.

“Shadow,” I groan as he pushes two big fingers inside of me.

The tiny muscles of my core are fluttering around his intrusion, begging for more, insisting he go deeper.

“Please,” I beg.

I feel his lips turn up into a smile against my inner thigh.

Amusing him is not my intention. I grip a handful of his hair and tug. The heat in his eyes is palpable when he slides up my body.

He kisses me deeply; my lingering taste on his tongue mixing inside my mouth.

“I need you,” he says reverently.

“You have me,” I say as he slides inside.

I push my head harder against the pillow. My back arches, allowing him to take the tip of my breast between his lips.

With expert thrusts, he brings me close to climax faster than he ever has.

His large hands roam every inch of my body. His mouth and tongue sweep and taste anything in reach. He’s worshipping me. All of which, I enjoy at the moment, but I know will sting like a bitch in my memories after tonight.

I whimper as he pulls out to the tip and slides all the way in several times. Torturously slow he takes me to the edge. His hips stop as he settles all the way in. My muscles cling to him, squeezing in anticipation.

He pushes hard against me. I relish the tiny bite of pain as he pushes just past my limit. I know I’ll feel him there tomorrow. I swivel my hips, needing more.

“Please,” I beg again.

He looks down at me as if he’s almost pained at having to hold back. I know he needs to come. I can feel the tautness in the muscles on his back against my fingers. His body is trembling at fighting his own release.

“Take me with you,” I demand softly against the sweat covered skin of his neck.

He groans loudly, shifting his hips back and slamming into me. Once. Twice. On the third thrust, I feel him swell and begin to pulse erratically inside of me.

I groan as his release triggers my own. I claw at him. Scream his name. Mumble incoherent words as his body gives me every physical desire I could ever ask for.

“Mmm,” I moan against his mouth as he kisses me softly.

“That’s how I feel about you, Misty,” he says softly against my lips.

I allow him to turn me in his arms, placing my back against his front. Could this man be any denser? Because what we did doesn’t explain a damn thing about what tomorrow will look like, other than sweaty sex.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel the connection. I feel the passion in his fingertips as he touches me. I need the words. I don’t want to have to analyze what he’s feeling by stripping apart his actions.

I fall asleep in his arms. My body totally content, my heart just a little more broken.

I don’t even realize Misty had the baby monitor in the room until the shuffling and cooing of my son slowly brought me out of sleep. I lie in bed with Misty half across my chest and smile. He refuses to say mama, no matter how many times I’ve tried to get him to say it when we’re alone, but hearing him mumble
dada dada
while in his crib almost makes my heart explode with pride and love.

I only let it go on for a little while. Misty is exhausted; I can tell by how fast she fell asleep last night. She hardly stirred all night.

I ease myself out from under her and tug on a pair of boxer briefs. After turning off the baby monitor, I slowly make my way to Griffin’s room.

The first door I open is the bathroom, so I continue on to the only other door down the short hallway.

I have to admit, she found a really nice place. This place is bigger than any other above garage apartment I’ve seen. It’s clean, in a great neighborhood, and I noticed it has an alarm. If I can’t convince her to come back to the clubhouse with me, at least I know she’s safe.

I open the door to Griffin’s room, and I have to chuckle. He’s on his knees with his tiny face pressed against the slats of his crib. I can see one magnificent blue eye staring back at me; the other blocked by the dark wood slat of the crib.

“I missed you,” I tell him as I hold him to my chest.

In answer, he reaches up and tugs on my beard.

It isn’t until he tries to shove a handful of it in his mouth that I realize he’s hungry.

“Come on, big guy. Let’s get you some breakfast.”

I tickle his stomach and quietly close the door to the bedroom Misty is sleeping in as I make my way down the hall toward the kitchen.

After strapping Griffin into his highchair, I begin opening cabinets looking for his food. I find a box of rice cereal and a jar of baby food peaches. I hand him an already mixed formula bottle from the fridge for him to start on while I mix his cereal. For powdered flakes, it sure smells awful. I check the expiration date on the bottom, and the sale by date is months away. I go ahead and mix it up, remembering I had the same aversion to the smell of his formula last month as well.

He grins around the nipple of his bottle as I sit in a chair in front of him.

“Here you go,” I say holding the tiny spoon to his mouth.

Half of the cereal rolls down his chin, but his mouth is moving like he’s just taken the biggest bite he can handle.

We continue the process of bites in and food rolling out for the better part of thirty minutes. Once we’re done, I’m certain he has more food on his body and in his hair than in his stomach.

“Your mother is going to kill us,” I tell him as I reach in and unsnap his safety buckles.

I hold him at arm’s length and carry him to the hall bathroom. Setting him down in the empty tub, I look in the cabinet for his tiny bath tub. I don’t find the foldable bath we’ve been using since he came to the clubhouse, but I do find a box with the picture of a blown up duck and a half-naked baby in it.

I shake my head over at him. I feel ridiculous as I open the box and begin to inflate the bright yellow duck. Griffin sits inside the tub and watches with wide eyes as the plastic animal materializes. After several minutes of huffing air into the contraption, I strip him out of his ruined clothes and place him in the tub section of the duck.

Filling it with water, I hand him a wash cloth to play with while I clean him up.

“I was hoping he’d like that thing,” I hear Misty say from the doorway.

With a hand still on Griffin, I turn my gaze to her. My eyes sweep from the dark pink paint on her toenails, up her sexy-as-fuck legs, to the seductive V of her robe at the top of her breasts.

I cut my eyes away quickly. With my son taking a bath, even at his young age, the last thing I need is to pop wood in front of him. I clear my throat roughly, giving my head a little shake for good measure.

“We sort of made a mess with breakfast,” I say.

I hear her soft laughter, and I close my eyes briefly and let the sound wash over me.

“He’s very,” she says with a brief pause. “Interactive when it comes to eating these days.”

I look over my shoulder and give her a smile.

“He was covered in it,” I tell her.

I feel a soft towel land on my shoulder and the quick trail of her fingers down my arms a few inches. Just that simple touch has my blood humming through my veins. I want more. I
need
more.

“I’ll make us some breakfast while you get him dried off and clothed. I haven’t had the chance to unpack his things yet, but he should have a change of clothes in the diaper bag in his room.” I feel the loss of her presence the second she leaves the doorway.

Fifteen minutes later, Griffin is as happy as can be playing with a tiny, yet very noisy, piano in his playpen. Misty hands me a steaming cup of coffee the second I walk into the kitchen.

I lean in and kiss her head in thanks and feel her stiffen under my touch. It’s as if last night didn’t even happen. Making love to her was beyond blissful, and she seemed happy when she fell asleep. I have no idea what changed between then and now, but the sated, content woman who fell asleep in my arms last night is not the same woman standing in front of me.

Refusing to let her step away from me this time, I place the cup of coffee gently on the counter and wrap my arms around her waist. She’s facing the stove, picking at sausage links with a pair of tongs.

I rest my head on her shoulder. “Darlin’,” I say against her neck.

I see the goosebumps pop up on her skin as my warm breath glides over it, but she doesn’t relax in my arms.

I hear her sigh. “I can’t keep doing this, Shadow.”

I can sense her resolve; it’s rolling off of her skin in waves.

“I need you with me, Misty.” My throat is dry, and I feel like if I keep talking, I’m going to somehow fuck this up. It’s so much easier for me to show her with my body, my hands, and my mouth what she means to me. Words fail me every time.

She sighs, again. I feel like I’m losing her even though she’s in my arms.

“We’re a family, Darlin’. We need to stay together.”

“What’s changed since last night?” She asks angling her head so she can see my face.

I turn her in my arms so her eyes can meet mine. “Nothing.”

It’s the truth. Everything I felt for her in the darkness last night I feel for in the daylight.

I see a tear roll down her cheek. I catch it on the tip of my finger and stare at it, begging it to tell me what she’s thinking, what’s causing her pain.

She attempts to hang her head, to break eye contact with me. I don’t allow it. I cup her cheek in my hand, bending my knees slightly so I can look her directly in the eye. With my other hand, I point to the front door.

“I pictured myself walking out of that front door. I imagined what walking away from you would be like.” I stroke her cheek with my thumb, hating the way her lip is quivering. “I couldn’t walk away even if it was the best thing for us. I don’t want to walk away from you, Misty. I can't.”

She blinks quickly trying to keep the tears from flowing. She fails, hot tears rolling down her flushed cheeks.

“Everything I’ve been fighting is everything I already have.” I lean in and kiss away one of her tears. “I love taking care of Griffin and watching him grow. I love seeing how good you are with him. I love waking up in your arms. I love
you
, Misty. I want to be a family, the three of us.”

I see her eyes widen, and I wonder for a brief second if I said the wrong thing. I tilt her head up and kiss her mouth. I do my best with that one kiss to put into action exactly what my heart feels. She and Griffin are my life, my soul, and there’s nothing I won’t do to have them with me always.