Shadow: Cerberus MC Book 3 (28 page)

Love?

He loves me?

That’s what he was trying to tell me last night? Every moan, every mumble, every gasp of pleasure and searing look into my eyes wasn’t about sex. It was a declaration, a confession.

Instinctively, my fingernails scratch the back of his neck. I pull my head back slightly, breaking the contact of our mouths.

I let my brown eyes dart between the brilliant azure of his, looking for and hoping to find an ounce of deceit. The last thing I need is him manipulating me to get Griffin and I back under the roof of the clubhouse.

His lips turn up slightly, his eyes shine even brighter at my appraisal. It’s almost like he’s proud that I’m not just taking his words to heart.

“Love?” I ask softly drawing my hands from his neck to hold on to his face at his jawline.

“Love,” he says tenderly. His gaze drops to my lips.

I swallow roughly. “I love you, too,” I whisper.

“Darlin’,” he says breathlessly as his mouth finds mine again.

Now that I let myself believe it, I can feel the devotion in his touch. I allow my heart to open freely to him. How did I miss this before? This touch, the gentle sweep of his tongue is so familiar. This is the same way he held me, caressed me the night before he left for this last mission.

That’s not what this is. Not anymore.

His words from our time together after the Children’s Museum come back to me. He was trying to tell me then. I’m a damn fool.

It isn’t until I feel the softness of my bed that I realize he’s lifted me up and carried me into the bedroom.

“You are so beautiful,” he praises lifting his mouth from mine and trailing his fingers up my side.

He reaches for the waistband of my sleep shorts, and I shift my weight so he can pull them off easier. He tugs me to the edge of the bed.

With a hand on each knee, he gently spreads my legs. With heaving breaths, I look down at him between my splayed legs.

“Darlin’,” he says reverently as his thumb slowly swipes over my clit.

I whimper with need at the sensation of the rough pad of his finger on my delicate flesh. Closing my eyes, I swivel my hips, looking for purchase against his hand.

His hot breath skates over me a second before I feel his thick tongue push inside of me.

I gasp; he groans as if tasting water for the first time after being stranded in the desert for months.

I grip the sheets by the handful as he assaults my body. Two amazing long fingers slide between the folds of my cleft, parting me before hooking inside.

With feet flat against the bed, I push up slightly, shoving more of myself against his mouth.

I hear him chuckle lightly at my enthusiasm.

The orgasm hits suddenly, taking my breath away.

“Fuck,” I hear Shadow mutter in the haze of my explosion. “That’s it.”

I haven’t a clue what he’s doing with his mouth and the half dozen hands he has on my body, but I love every second of it.

“Misty.” I look up just in time to see him pull the band of his boxer briefs down. My mouth waters at the sight of his thick erection. Immediately, I slide from the bed to my knees in front of him.

I fist him in one hand and lower my mouth over the plump head of his cock. He hisses loudly, and an animalistic growl comes from deep in his chest.

I hear Griffin begin to cry in the living room. I’m honestly torn.

Shadow makes the decision for me by shifting his hips back and covering his glistening cock once again with his boxers.

“You grab him, and I’m going to grab a quick shower.” He smiles wide at the pout on my face.

I watch his back as he leaves the room heading to the shower.

“A very cold shower,” he mumbles.

I tug my panties and shorts back on. I find the source of Griffin's despair as I walk into the living room.

“Well,” I say picking up the stuffed monkey from the floor. “If you quit throwing it out of there you wouldn’t get so upset.” I toss it back into the playpen, and his sobs stop instantly. I know I’m getting played, and he better be glad he’s so damn cute.

Ten minutes later Shadow once again joins me in the kitchen. This time, I’ve actually managed to complete breakfast.

“This looks great,” he says as I place a full plate in front of him.

Before I can walk away, he catches my arm and tugs me to sit on his lap. I love the feel of his beard as it scratches down my neck.

“Do you want me to stay here with y’all, or are you coming back to the clubhouse?” he asks against my ear lobe before sucking it into his hot mouth.

“Umm,” I moan helplessly. “I can’t concentrate with you touching me like this.”

He grunts quickly, running his hand over my breast, but he lets me stand back up.

I walk to the counter and grab my plate.

“I like the extra room here. If we go back to the clubhouse, it’s all of us in one room.” I scrunch my nose up. “Eventually, the things we can get away with now with him in the room will not be okay.”

He takes a bite of sausage and taps his lip with the fork as he chews. After swallowing he says, “we can put in a door between the two rooms so we have easy access to him. We can deadbolt the outside door in my room, and he can have that one. The only way to get access to him is through our room.”

“I do like being around your family, the other girls.” I take a sip of the now cold coffee.

He reaches into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out his phone. After some quick typing, he puts it back into his pocket.

“Done,” he says and continues to eat.

“What’s done?”

“Some of the guys are heading over to help get your stuff back to the clubhouse.”

I gawk at him. “Shadow, I’m paid up for the month. I signed a six-month lease. Last night was only the second night I’ve been here. I can’t afford to break my lease after two damn days.”

His eyes sparkle as his eyebrow pops up. “I’ll take care of your lease, Darlin’.”

He goes back to eating, like handing over almost four thousand dollars and not even using the apartment is no big deal to him.

“We can live here until the lease runs out,” I offer.

He wipes his mouth with a paper napkin. “Is one of the garage stalls under us part of your rental?”

I shake my head. “No, I don’t even have a car.”

“I need a garage, Darlin’.” Fact, plain and simple. As if the statement requires no explanation.

I know he spends hours upon hours in the garage back at the clubhouse.

I just nod my head and smile back at him.

“Clubhouse it is,” I finally say.

Pick your battles right?

***

“He loves being in your arms,” Shadow says over my shoulder.

We’re back at the clubhouse, sitting on the bed. His back is against the headboard; my back is against him.

“Look how calm he is,” he says brushing a soft finger over his forehead.

Griffin’s eyes are closed as he drinks his last bottle of the evening.

“You make me calm too,” he confesses near my ear.

Shadow has been completely different all day. Before he left for his last mission, we always had some amount of space between us, both literally and figuratively. Neither has been present today.

He hasn’t avoided me like before; in fact, he’s found any reason at all to have his hands on me every chance he could.

“Marry me,” he whispers in my ear.

I jerk so hard the bottle falls from Griffin’s mouth.

I shake my head and climb off of the bed. I place Griffin softly in his crib, gripping the side rails in my hands, refusing to turn back around and face him.

“Darlin’,” he says against my neck.

I startle for a second, so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn’t hear him get off the bed.

“I can’t,” I whisper. “You don’t have to do this. We don’t have to get married just so things look good for court next week.” I turn around to look him in the eye. “I don’t want a sham marriage with you. It would break my heart.”

“Do you love me?” he asks softly.

I nod. “Of course, I do.”

“I love you,” he says huskily. “There’s nothing sham about that. You, me, and Griffin for the rest of our lives,” he says before his lips find mine.

I whimper against his mouth as his tongue explores. His hands join in, gripping and caressing over my body.

“We’ll wait until after court. What’s going on between us isn’t about that. I’m talking about future, Darlin’, not some little bump in the road.”

I stop Misty with a hand on her forearm before she makes her way into the conference room to meet with our attorney Angela Spears. Our hearing is scheduled in less than an hour, but I feel the need for full disclosure. I’m struggling with it. Not actually telling her, but the actual urge to talk to a woman about my history. It’s a new emotion for me.

I want to pull her to my chest and comfort her. Her eyes are already red-rimmed, and even though she’s fighting hard, she can’t seem to control the tremble in her hands.

“Hey,” I say taking another step toward her. “I feel like we need to have a full disclosure moment right now.”

She looks up into my eyes, lip quivering like I’m fixing to tell her I don’t think we can win this case.

“Angie. Angela, our attorney,” I rub my hand over my beard and regret not telling her this during our eight-hour drive up from Farmington, or last night at the hotel. I can blame my silence on the fact we met up with Josie and Kaleb for dinner last night, but I know I just wanted to put off the fact that she was going to have to come face to face with part of my whoring ways.

“Spit it out, Shadow.” Her voice breaks on my name, and it nearly guts me.

“Angie and I had a…” What the fuck do I even call it? “A sort of physical relationship.”

“So you fucked her?” she asks with no emotion.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to fuck her now?” she asks.

I shake my head. “Hell no.”

“So it’s in your past?”

I nod.

“Is she a good attorney?” she asks, looking as if she’s growing bored with this conversation.

“The best,” I answer with a rough swallow.

“Do I have to worry about her hurting the case because she’s some sort of scorned lover?”

I shake my head. “No, she’s very professional. It wasn’t about anything but sex between us.”

“Is she going to try to jump on your cock when we walk in there?” She raises an eyebrow at me.

“Fuck no,” I say taking a step back. I feel like I’ve already been called to the stand to testify.

She sighs and closes her eyes for a brief second. Before opening her eyes, she says. “Am I your future?”

“Yes,” I answer honestly kissing her forehead.

“Then I don’t care about your past.” She opens her eyes and looks into mine. “I’m sorry for all of this.”

I wrap my arms around her, pulling her against my chest. “Darlin’, you did what had to at the moment. We’ll get past all of this.”

***

“So what?” I all but bark across the table at Angie. “I don’t even get a fucking say in this?”

I feel Misty’s hand on my arm, but I’m too upset for it to even begin to calm me down.

“I didn’t sign shit!” I say again.

I watch Angie take a calming breath. “Colorado doesn’t require paternal notification. While an unmarried woman is pregnant, the father has no say.”

Angie turns her head to Misty. “The Davis’s paid for your medical bills.”

I shake my head. “No, it was my understanding that Maternity House footed those bills.”

She pulls open an accordion file and slides some papers across the table to us. “The Davis’s paid them.”

We both review the papers quickly.

“I’ll pay them back. Hell, I’ll pay for the next baby they find,” I say quickly

“It doesn’t work that way, Morrison,” Angie says as I slide the papers back to her.

“She changed her mind before the baby was even born,” I bargain.

Angie shakes her head again, a motion I’m beginning to grow very tired of. “She signed expedited consent documents. Those papers do not allow for a change of heart.”

“So there’s nothing we can do?” Misty asks with a quivering lip.

“Did you feel like you were coerced? Pressured into signing the documents?” Angie asks Misty.

“No,” Misty says hanging her head and looking at her clasped hands. “They explained everything. They even tried to explain my options before I signed the paperwork.”

I can see her dart her eyes quickly to me and then away, no doubt trying to gauge my reaction to her answer.

I reach for her hand and tug it closer to me. Kissing her forehead, I whisper, “Shhh, it’s going to be okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Angie says shaking her head. “Other than pleading with the judge, I don’t have any other options. I don’t have a reason to contest the adoption.”

I grind my teeth audibly. “Nothing?” I say with a catch in my voice that wasn’t there before she just delivered this devastating blow.

“I’m so sorry,” Angie says again.

Misty whimpers again. I pull her harder against my chest and press my lips to the top of her head. As I begin to rock her back and forth, Angie stands and leaves the room, giving us a few minutes to ourselves before we have to face the judge.