Shadow in the Pines (17 page)

He didn’t look up until he’d nearly reached the porch steps. “What are you doing out here?”

“Bandit ran off,” she explained. As if on cue, a bark floated across the road, followed closely by the sound of Bandit racing through the leaves.

Noah glanced over his shoulder. “The prodigal returns.”

“Bandit! You naughty dog!” Dani got up to greet him. Wagging his whole body with his tail, Bandit bounded up the steps and danced around her feet.

“Put him inside and let’s go get some dinner,” Noah suggested.

Obviously, he wanted to talk on neutral ground. Dani opened the door to let Bandit inside, then remembered the gun in her pocket. “Just a sec,” she told Noah who stayed on the porch. She went into the dining room and traded the gun for her purse, then met him back out on the porch.

Noah accepted the keys she handed to him after she locked the door and they made their way to the car.

Chapter Fifteen

“Feel like a steak?” he asked once they were in the car. The Taurus seemed so roomy when she was alone was now filled with his presence. His head nearly brushed the roof and his coat spread over the console that separated the seats.

“Sure,” she agreed, looking at him closely. His eyes were guarded and his face looked tired. Suddenly, she felt like a selfish brat. He was only trying to look out for her and she had to throw a tantrum and drive off by herself just to show him who was in charge.

“Noah,” she put a gloved hand on his arm, “I’m sorry I went to school without you this morning and I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain.”

The tiny grin he offered in return didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s not easy, is it?”

Dani followed his lead and kept quiet until they were seated in the restaurant. Once the waitress took their orders, Dani sucked up what bravado she had left and asked, “So, what’s the verdict, doc? Am I worth saving?”

He studied her face for a moment, then a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You can be a pain, you know that?”

She smiled. “Yeah. But it’s not like I’ve got a monopoly on that trait, you know.”

His grin turned sheepish and he raised his hands in mock surrender. “Point taken. So what do you want to do about it?”

That sobered her up. “Why don’t you tell me?”

He waited a long time before he answered. “I’m in a really awkward position, here.”

Dani didn’t like the way that sounded. “Why?”

Frustration was evident on his face as he groped for the right words. “It’s hard to explain. As a cop, I know exactly what I should do. As a man,” he acted like he was at a loss for the correct term, “I let my heart rule my head sometimes.”

“What were you going to say?”

“What do you mean?”

“As a what?”

“Man will do nicely, thanks.”

“Friend? Lover?” she teased, enjoying his discomfort just a little.

He grinned, reluctantly, then turned the tables on her. “Exactly what would you call me? What do you want from me, Dani?”

Suddenly, she was inordinately interested in her salad.

“Well?” he waited.

How could she answer him when she couldn’t even answer the question for herself?

“And there, my dear, is the root of the problem,” he said softly. “I thought you were a woman who knew what she wanted.”

So did I, she thought. “What do you want?” she asked.

“You mean besides wanting this all to be over?” He watched her steadily, tracing a pattern in the condensation on his glass.

She chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Are you ready to lay all the cards on the table?” He took her silence for consent. “You probably have no idea what it means, but my relationship with you was personal long before it was professional. Had it been the other way around, personal would never have entered into it.”

“So, you’re saying if you’d met me giving me a ticket or something we’d have never gone out?” Somehow, she found that hard to believe. The connection she’d felt with him was immediate and she didn’t think his line of work would have altered it in any way. After all, he’d looked like some kind of criminal with that big gun strapped to his leg and she’d gone out with him anyway, hadn’t she?

“Well, I don’t like to say ‘never’ but that certainly would have been the plan,” he said.

“I don’t see what difference it makes,” she shrugged, pushing her salad plate away.

“It makes a difference because I care too much what happens to you.”

“That’s ridiculous,” she scoffed. “Are you saying you don’t care what happens to other people when you work on their cases?”

“No,” he raised his hands, “I’m saying I don’t care to the point that it keeps me from being objective. With you, I get to a point where what you want and what you think clouds my judgment about what’s best in the situation.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “So what do you do? Stop seeing me?” Maybe it would hurt less if she said it first.

“That’s kind of impossible since I live next door and someone’s stalking you, isn’t it?”

“The police would assign someone else, wouldn’t they?” she countered.

That struck a chord and his nostrils flared while the muscle in his jaw clenched. “Is that what you want?”

“I didn’t say that,” she snapped, frustrated. “I just don’t know why you can’t do both. If we were dating and you weren’t a cop, wouldn’t you still look out for me?”

“Of course I would. But the lines have to be drawn somewhere. I need to know what you want so I can know where those lines are. One minute you’re totally dependent and the next you act like I’m intruding on your personal life. What am I supposed to do?”

Dani sighed. That was a fair question. “I’m sorry about that.”

The waitress arrived with their meals and they both picked at their food in silence for a while.

“I guess it would be better if we both knew exactly where this was going,” she offered, finally.

“That’s what I’m saying,” he agreed. “Where do you want it to go?”

“Noah, that’s not fair!” she protested. “You tell me first.”

The muscle in his jaw started working again. “All right,” his voice was curt. “I care about you more than I’ve cared about anyone for as long as I can remember. I was willing to give it time… to wait and see if you felt the same way. But all this shit has forced us to get close in a hurry and I don’t like it when I feel you pushing me away. I’d rather be alone the rest of my life than feel like I’m straddling a fence and ready to be knocked off at any moment.”

His words were weighted, pummeling her like stones. Dani chose her response carefully. “I know I do that. I’m sorry. But my marriage was a total sham. I believed him; I trusted him and he was lying to me the whole time. And I know you’re not him. You’re nothing like him. I love,” she caught herself just in time. “I love having you close and feeling protected but I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” he asked softly.

“Afraid to be wrong when I trust you,” she said. What she really meant was she was afraid she wouldn’t live through it again.

He nodded like he thought that was fair.

“If it helps at all, I trust you more than I trust anyone,” she added miserably.

“Dani,” he reached across the table and touched her hand. She met his eyes. “I understand. Just tell me one thing…”

She nodded.

“Would you still want me around if I wasn’t a cop?”

“Uh!” That took her completely by surprise. “Of course! Why would you ask that?”

“Just checking,” he smiled. From the way he visibly relaxed, her answer must have satisfied something lurking in there.

“Noah,” she leaned forward and whispered. “I have an idea. Let’s go back to my house and pretend all this isn’t happening and you can pretend you’re not a cop if you want to.”

“Ya think?” he grinned at her.

“I think,” she smiled. “Now eat so we can go home.”

***

The first sight to greet Dani in the morning was Noah emerging from the bathroom wearing low-slung jeans and a towel draped around his neck. “I’ve got to tell you, I miss the shower when I stay over here,” he said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Me too,” she said, rolling over so she could reach his back, unable to resist the temptation to give it a rub. “Maybe you should build me one.”

He laughed. “Oh, sure. No problem. I’ll trade in my badge for a plumbing license.”

“Gee,” she pretended to pout. “I thought last night you said you’d do anything for me.” Dani ducked when he tossed the damp towel at her.

“A plumber, I’m not,” he assured her, getting up and crossing to the door. “Better get up, you’ll be late to class.”

She made a face at his back as it vanished out the door, then rolled off the bed and headed for the closet. A quick glance out the window affirmed that it was still December so she dressed accordingly.

The feeling of contentment that came from having an understanding with Noah followed her all through class and into the lab. Attendance was down as more and more students completed their semester’s work and she found herself alone in the lab with almost an hour to spare before heading over to Ophidian. With any luck, she’d have time to finish cleaning and storing the dissection tools that had been turned in. At this rate, all her work would be done long before next Friday’s deadline.

“No class?” Joe Abraham poked his head in the door and looked around.

Dani smiled and shrugged. “Most of them have turned in their finals. The others don’t stay long.”

“Yeah,” he nodded his agreement. “Everyone’s anxious for the holidays.” He wandered in and perched on the corner of her desk. “How’ve you been?”

“So, so,” she answered. “How’ve you been?” She knew what he was wondering but felt reluctant to discuss it with him for some reason. Maybe it was the glare of the fluorescent lights, but his face looked even more pale and drawn than usual.

“I’m tired,” he admitted, but the look in his eyes told her it was more than that. “Of course, I’m always tired this close to finals.”

She smiled. “Yeah. I only have two more to take next week, but I’ll be glad when they’re done.”

“Well,” Dr. Abraham got up and nervously shuffled his feet, looking around the room. “Dr. Crane treating you all right?” His creased forehead contradicted the assumed casualness of his tone.

Dani wiggled uncomfortably in her chair, then got up and started gathering her things. “Let’s just say it’s not the same as working for you,” she flashed him a smile she hoped would put an end to his questions.

“He can be a little blunt at times,” he concurred. “You’re doing okay, though? No more snakes hiding at your house?”

Dani’s head jerked up as if she’d been slapped. “Why would you ask that?”

“Oh, no reason, just my pitiful attempt at humor,” he answered quickly and tried to laugh it off. “I better get back to work!”

He scurried from the room as fast as he could without running, leaving Dani staring after him and shaking her head. As much as she hated to talk to Noah about Joe Abraham, it looked like she had no choice. His behavior was becoming too unsettling.

When she reached Ophidian, she found a note taped to the door saying the lab closed early and work would resume Monday. Last night’s compromise with Noah included meeting him at the PD at six so she wouldn’t arrive home alone, but now she had an extra two hours to kill. Dani walked slowly to her car, then turned on the heat and sat idling, wondering what to do.

Finally, she put the car in gear and started rolling toward the exit. Why not do what everyone else was doing? Noah promised to cut down a Christmas tree for her this weekend, but she could still go shopping for decorations and maybe some groceries for making cookies and candy. It was about time for a little holiday cheer in the log cabin, wasn’t it? With her mind made up, she pressed on the accelerator and tried to forget the problems that had plagued her of late.

With festive decorations and jovial holiday shoppers, Dani caught a little of the holiday spirit and found herself enjoying the effort. Long checkout lines caused her to pull in to the police parking lot exactly twenty minutes late and just in time to catch Noah getting into his truck. Maneuvering her car to block the truck, she rolled down the passenger window and leaned over. “Hey! Bet you thought I gave you the slip again, didn’t you?”

Noah frowned as he walked toward the car but it wasn’t convincing. He was obviously glad to see her. Leaning on the open passenger window, he looked at the collection of bags in the back seat. “Shopping?”

She smiled. “I got off early and I knew I couldn’t go home.”

He returned her smile. “You’ll probably want me to carry it all in, too, won’t you?”

“Nah,” she teased. “We’ll let the elves get it.”

“Right,” he chuckled. “Follow me.”

Back at the house, Dani made a quick supper of soup and sandwiches while Noah carried in the bags then went next door to check his mail and pick up some clean clothes. They’d agreed he should stay with her for the duration. At least until her stalker was identified and stopped. She bustled around the kitchen, excited about the idea of stringing tinsel and lights while Noah was gone to work, then greeting him with fresh baked cookies and hot eggnog when he came home. Home. Funny how he seemed to belong there.

She was surprised to see him come in the door with damp hair and clean clothes.

“I took a quick shower,” he explained before she had a chance to ask. “Let me stow this then I’ve gotta hit the road!”

That put a frown on her face. He would have to work the first night after their new agreement.

“You can at least sit down long enough for a bowl of soup, can’t you?” she asked when he came back down the stairs.

He looked at his watch. “Half hour, tops,” he agreed.

“Fair enough,” she smiled, pouring him a bowl then going back for another for herself.

“You seem chipper enough today,” he observed when she sat down beside him.

“I’m glad it’s Friday,” she said. “It was a pretty easy day and next week should be even better.”

“How’s your boyfriend, the doctor?” he teased, putting a scowl on her face.

“That’s not funny, Noah,” she said. “I’m beginning to think you may be right.”