Shattered Essence (18 page)

No response from the G-Man, only
half a smile.

I was getting angry because he was
staring at me like I was a side of beef. “Look here, you big ape, I don’t know
why you keep looking at me like I’m from outer space, but I’d appreciate it if
you would stop. It is making me uncomfortable. Also I hope I didn’t kill your
dog, but if I did, I can’t even begin to apologize.”

He gave me an even bigger smile,
then started chuckling.

I’m a dead woman. Yup! My body
won’t be found for years.

“Esperanza Alejandra Reyes.”

My mouth dropped.
Oh shit! He
knows my name.
I turned left then right looking for an escape route. My
mind was running in five different directions and my body continued to wreak havoc
on my senses. The closer he got the harder my heart pounded. My knees were
becoming weak. My stomach was doing summersaults. I felt my eyeballs attempt to
jump out of their sockets.

“Oh my god!” I covered my mouth;
this couldn’t be happening
. I must be unconscious right now.
It took a
few seconds before I understood what was happening.

The floodgates were opening. I knew
that voice. I had dreamt of that voice for years. I started recalling his touch,
his eyes, the way he smelled, his body. I could feel tingles rising from my
feet moving upward until my entire body was burning from a pins-and-needles
sensation. I had to be dead.

“Espe?”

“Drew?”

He smiled, removing his sunglasses.

“Andrew Robert Malone!” I screeched
as I ran and jumped on him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, anchoring
myself to his body. I gave him a bear hug while discreetly sniffing the crook
of his neck. The second my skin came in contact with his I felt an electric vibe
run down my spine.

“How the hell are you? What have you
been up to? Where are you living these days? Oh my god, it is so great to see
you,” I babbled as I clung on to him.

I noticed it took him several seconds
before he hugged me back.

I’m an idiot.

“I’m sorry. You must think I’m a
lunatic. First I call you an ape. Then I jump on you like an ape. I hope I
didn’t kill your dog.” I could feel the blood rushing to my checks I was blushing
something fierce.

Slowly sliding down his body, I
unwrapped my legs and put my feet on the ground. I tried to hide my face which
I knew was flaming red. “I guess I got a little excited. Please forgive me.”

I still couldn’t believe I’d jumped
on him.

“Please don’t be. Seeing you again caught
me off guard. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. Honestly, it is really
great to see you again.”

Honk. Honk.

“I guess we should get out of the
street. I think we’re starting to piss people off,” I said.

“Espe, maybe we could get together sometime
soon to catch up.”

I loved how he said my name.

“That would be nice.”
Should I
ask him to bring his wife?
Certainly as drop dead gorgeous as he was he
had to be married, right?

“Can I call you?” he asked.

“Anytime.” I reached into my purse.
“Here’s my card.” Although I wasn’t going to hold my breath. I was sure he was
only being nice.

He took it and placed it in the palm
of his hand and turned, walking back toward his vehicle.

“Hey, what about your car?” I
hollered after him.

He walked back. “Doesn’t look like
anything is hurt.” Drew said as he examined the vehicles. “I don’t see any scratches
or dents. I can’t say the same for your bumper. Looks like you obtained a nasty
scratch. No dents though,” he concluded as he walked toward me.

Honk. Honk
.

“Get the fuck out of the street you fucking
fuckers!” yelled a balding overweight elderly man from behind the wheel of a
brown beat-up pickup truck.

Astounded I remarked, “Who knew
someone that old had enough breath in him to yell such profanities? What an
ass!” I started to walk backward toward my car. “I’d better be going before we
really piss somebody off.”

Drew grasped my arm, bent down and
kissed my cheek, saying, “I’ll call you soon.”

“Okay, sounds good.” I opened my car
door and sat in the driver’s seat for a minute and watched Drew drive away.

Holy Moses, I can’t believe I
made such an ass out of myself.
This was a perfect moment for self-loathing.
My hands were shaking so bad I could hardly start the ignition. There was no
way I could drive to the grocery store.

I managed to pull into the nearest
parking lot. Taking a few deep breaths I closed my eyes hoping to gain some
self-control. I had just leaned back on the head rest when my phone started to
ring.

Crap!

Drew

Today was one hell of a day. It
started with one small insignificant change causing another small change which
caused yet another change and so on. Each change built upon itself becoming
larger as it picked up more changes, gaining mass and momentum as the day
rolled along.

From the moment I woke up this
morning I knew today was going to be a zinger. It started when I got out of bed
before my alarm went off. For the first time since I don’t know when, I was
well-rested and alert. I was ready to conquer the day. Since I had a few extra
minutes I organized my closet. I came upon a pair of pants I hadn’t worn for a
while. I found a gift card for twenty dollar to my favorite coffee shop in the back
pocket. I figured I’d stop for a cup on my way into work. As I was walking out
the door the house phone rang. It was Megan calling to let me know she’d be
coming home for Thanksgiving with her new boyfriend. Visiting with her about
school put me twenty minutes behind schedule, which resulted in me running late
for work. I’d have to forfeit my coffee.

I was flying down Interstate 5 when
my boss called to inform me the morning meeting had been cancelled. This
created the opportunity for me to drive to Pacific Beach to get a cup of coffee
with the gift card I’d found. When I showed up to the coffee shop I was
accidently given Chai tea at the drive thru. I hated tea and had to return to
the coffee shop for my coffee.

I turned right upon leaving the
coffee shop. On my way back to the interstate traffic was moving smoothly. From
out of nowhere some dickweed pulled out in front of me. I had to slam on my
brake to avoid hitting him. Unfortunately, the car behind me wasn’t so lucky and
ended up running into me.

Consequently, had I not gone back
for coffee I wouldn’t have gotten into an accident. If I hadn’t gotten in an
accident I wouldn’t have seen the woman who haunted my dreams.

When I got out of my SUV to inspect
the damage and check on the driver who rear-ended me I noticed the woman looked
familiar. My first thought was it looked an awful lot like Esperanza. In
reality I knew it wasn’t possible. What would she be doing in San Diego?

There were so many times throughout
the years I thought I saw her driving down the street. I would see her in the
car next to me. I would see her in the aisle at the grocery store. In the
crowds of basketball games, football games, even the airport. Every double-take
I took turned out to be my mind playing tricks on me. Every face I thought was
hers belonged to another stranger.

Today was no exception. I thought my
mind was playing tricks on me again. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to
clear my head. When I took a second look she didn’t change. Exiting from behind
the wheel of her luxury sedan she was biting the inside of her lower lip. There
was no mistaking it! It was Espe.

I stood frozen to the pavement. She
was even more beautiful than I remembered. I was shocked, happy, scared, and
surprised. My thoughts and emotions were scattered all over the place. I was
trying to find my voice when it hit me. I was standing in the middle of the
street like an asshole. Or did she just call me an asshole?

My first reaction was to greet her.
To ensure it was really her. My second reaction was to walk up to her, sweep
her off her feet, and never let her go. My third reaction was to turn and leave
because she’d tormented my dreams all these years.

My brain was telling me this wasn’t
really happening. It was nature’s way of screwing with me.

Even after she spoke I didn’t move.
All I could think about was her standing in front of me. I tried to find the
right words to greet her but my mind went blank. I couldn’t focus. All I could
comprehend was how stunning she was. My mind was on a mini vacation in La La
Land. I didn’t even care upon seeing her wedding ring that she was married.

I was given a second chance at
closure. I was going to make the best of this opportunity. I wanted to know
what had happened to her. Where had she been? What had she been doing with her
life? Why did she stop writing?

Wait! I was the one who stopped
writing.
Idiot!

When she jumped on me the
electricity running through my body snapped me out of my fog. I finally
realized I had said her name out loud. The sound of her voice was as if the
angel of mercy had come down from heaven to redeem me from all my sins. The
heavens were looking down on me today. I was happier than I had been in years.
I felt blessed.

Espe

I can’t take this right now.

My phone continued to ring. I
thought I’d better take the call. It was probably Josh wondering what happened
to me. Maybe talking to him would help distract me from my encounter of running
into Drew. Josh always had a way of calming me down.

I noticed the “Unknown” number a
fraction of a second too late. I had already swiped my finger across the front
of my phone to answer the call.

Shit! Not Josh or James.

“Hello,” I said, grabbing the bridge
of my nose. I really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now. I was
freaking out, literally. I even had to convince myself just a minute ago to
talk to my own son.

“Hey Espe, it’s me.”

“Drew?” My heart started beating a million
miles an hour.

“Sorry, I couldn’t wait to hear your
voice again,” he said.

Was I dreaming again? I started
laughing. I had no idea what to say or what to think.

“Man, I missed your laugh.” There was
a few seconds of silence. “Espe, I’m really sorry about your car. Part of it
was my fault. Some guy pulled out in front of me and I had to slam on my brakes
to avoid hitting him.”

I was a basket case and the only
thing that came out of my mouth was, “Do you have a dog? Did I kill it?”

Chuckling, Drew replied, “No, I did
not have a dog in the vehicle with me. No dog around for you to kill.”

Sighing I said, “Thank goodness, I
can’t tell you how freaked out I was. As a matter of fact I’m actually sitting
in the parking lot next to our little accident. There was no way I could drive
home.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Laughing
wholeheartedly he said, “I only made it two blocks before I had to pull over
and call you.”

“What a couple of pansies we are,” I
said through tears of laughter.

“Now that you’ve made me laugh I was
wondering if you’d meet me latter for dinner and a drink? I’d really like to
know what you have been doing all these years. You’re welcome to bring your
husband if you want.”

“I’m not married.” I’d have to put
some thought into what I said. “Or am I? Technically I never got divorced.”

“I’m intrigued,” Drew said. “Is that
why you still wear your wedding ring?”

I was surprised he’d noticed. “Yes
and no.” I had to ask, “How about you—are you married?”

“Divorced seven years. What do you mean
by yes and no?” he asked.

“I’m a widow and only wear the ring
to keep men from hitting on me.”

“Does that mean dinner and drinks
are out of the question?”

“No, not at all. Sounds like fun, how
about a drink then dinner?” I was going on a date. Ever since Jake died I
didn’t really feel like seeing another man. Not to mention the last date I’d been
on was years ago.

I could tell he was smiling when he
said, “That will work.”

“When and where?” I asked biting the
inside of my lower lip. I felt like a teenage girl going on her first date; giddy,
nervous, and on cloud nine.

“Since we ran into each other near
Pacific Beach, can I assume you are familiar with the area?”

“Yes.”

“Can you meet me at Pacific Beach at
the corner of Mission Boulevard and Grand Avenue around 7:30 tonight?”

“Absolutely, see you there.” I was
smiling from ear to ear.

“Looking forward to it.
Besos
.”
Click.

He said “Kisses.” My heart melted.

Drew

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous
about meeting Espe this evening. I wasn’t sure what to expect. As a matter of
fact I wasn’t sure what I was doing, or what good could come out of meeting her.

In truth, I’m checking my sanity. I
wanted to know how much of her was like I remembered and how much of her my
mind had made up. For twenty-five years everyone I dated, or married, was compared
to her. Obviously I had put her on a pedestal. Hopefully this little meet and
greet would once and for all confirm my suspicions of how fucked up I truly
was.

How could one week at the age of eighteen
define what I was looking for in a woman? How could one week determine what I
needed? What I demanded?

I needed this meeting to discredit
her. This dinner was going to help me realize she wasn’t what I’d made her out
to be.

My plan was to have a drink and a
nice meal. We’d chat for a bit, then I would discover she was a self-centered vain
woman who drank herself to sleep every night. She would be a despicable bitch
with a house full of cats. Like fifty, sixty cats. I would tell her how great
it was to see her. Give her a hug. Jump in my car and never see her again. I’d
laugh myself silly on the way home for letting my imagination get the best of
me over the years. Finally, I will have closure.