ShouldveKnownBetter (5 page)

In a vain attempt to cool herself, she gulped some water. A flash of Sebastian naked in her bed invaded her brain unbidden. It had been forever since she’d seen a man nude. She hadn’t had sex in a very long time, and that attempt had been a disaster. She wasn’t a one-night-stand kind of woman. She didn’t trust any man enough to take that risk. Working with these guys all the time was reminding her how much she loved men though, despite her past.

He sat back and folded his sculpted arms over his equally sculpted chest. “You still haven’t given me a good reason why having us over for dinner would be so bad.”

“I think it’s different for me than for other people who work for the team.”

“Because you’re a woman, right?”

“Yes, because I’m a woman,” she said. “I would hate for someone to get the wrong impression, which is easy to do.”

The waitress came over, flicking her hair, and pushed her breasts practically in Sebastian’s face. Sarah tamped an onslaught of annoyance. When he ignored the young, perky woman, satisfaction snaked up Sarah’s spine.

Sarah ordered a bowl of soup and an open-faced steak sandwich with fries and Sebastian got a strip steak. After the waitress left, Sebastian asked, “Are you going eat all that? You are too small to eat so much food.”

His hungry gaze swept to her breasts then back to her face, and her nipples peaked against the fabric of her bra. She prayed they wouldn’t show through the lightweight bra and shirt. Crossing her arms, Sarah leaned into them, desperately trying to use the pressure to assuage the ache.

It didn’t even begin to work, and Sarah had to swallow a growl of frustration.
Get back on topic.

“Trust me. I can eat. Besides, I love lobster bisque and I can’t pass up a good plate of fries.”

He shrugged. “I’m sure I can help you out if you can’t finish everything.” An image of them eating off each other’s plate flooded Sarah’s mind, and she almost missed Sebastian’s next words. “So tell me more about what you and Doug are doing. I think it’s cool the team wants to try new stuff.”

Relieved at the change of subject, Sarah told him about some of her ideas. Since he was willing to listen, she bounced a few preliminary recommendations off him, but quickly tired of the subject. “Do you mind if we talk about something else? I’m eating, breathing and sleeping hockey. Tell me about yourself. Where in Quebec are you from?”

“A small
ville
named Joliette. It means ‘beautiful place,’ and it’s just that, even in the winter when it’s freezing cold. It was a nice place to grow up.”

Sarah smiled. “It sounds nice. Do you have brothers and sisters?”

“I have two sisters and one brother, all younger. My sisters are both at university, one in first year and the other in her third, and my brother is in his first year of junior hockey. He’s eighteen. He plays for Rimouski, which is up by Quebec City. My parents don’t like having him far away. It’s a couple of hours in good weather, but when you get drafted, you don’t have a choice about where you go, much like in the NHL.”

“Are you one of those over-protective older brothers who your sisters’ boyfriends are afraid of?”

Sebastian laughed. “No, they can take care of themselves. They grew up around me and my cousins and played hockey with us. Both of my sisters still play, but just for fun. Believe me, if we tried to get tough with them, they did not hesitate to slash or trip us. Besides, Mathieu, our brother, has a much worse temper than I do, so any boyfriend should be more worried about him than me. And anyway, I’m not around enough to be much of a pain to my sisters.”

“And what do your parents do?”

“My mom teaches small children. In Quebec they call it ‘
jardin d'enfants
.’ I don’t know what you call it in the US.”

Garden of children?
It came to her courtesy of her high school French from years ago. “Oh, you mean ‘kindergarten.’”

He shrugged. “My dad is a manager at the local Ford factory. They make the new minivan. With Ford closing so many plants, we were happy they kept ours open.”

“I can imagine.”

“So do you have any other questions you want to ask, or do I get a turn?” Sebastian smirked, picking up the coaster then turning it in his hands.

She was afraid of what he might ask, but really had no choice but to say, “Sure. You can ask me anything.”
Except stuff that will get us both in trouble, like “How soon can we get naked?” or “How do I like my coffee in the morning so you can make me breakfast the day after?”

“How many brothers and sisters do you have? What do your parents do?”

“I have one sister and one brother. My sister is still in Rochester, but my brother is in California. I hardly ever see him. He isn’t married, but my sister is and has two children, Max and Katie.” She wasn’t particularly close to either of her siblings. It wasn’t that they hated each other. They’d grown apart as they’d gotten older and none were taking the first step to fix that. It was what it was, and she didn’t beat herself up over it. Others had far worse relationships with their families.

“Are you the oldest child?” He leaned back in his chair and stretched his legs out, almost bumping into her foot before pulling back.

Sarah let out a relieved breath, not sure what she’d do if he started “accidentally” touching her. She was pretty sure she’d be a goner. “No, I’m in the middle. My brother is oldest, then me, then my sister.”

“And what about your parents?”

“My mom is retired. She was a manager at Kodak and took early retirement when it was offered.”

Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, I read about the problems at Kodak in the paper while I played in Rochester. I read the paper a lot to learn English. Rochester is a lot bigger than Joliette, but they have the same problems.”

Her gaze riveted on Sebastian as he shifted again. The man moved with a grace out of sync with the raw power his muscular body radiated on the ice. He had a youthful face, yet that did nothing to detract from his overall sexuality. His bee-stung lips no doubt drove the girls crazy, and his intense green eyes and dark, expressive brows spoke to intelligence. All the players had nice bodies, but Sebastian was a rare specimen, a perfect blend of power and finesse.

Sarah held in a snort by the barest of margins. It was obvious he was in excellent condition. On a shorter man, his sheer bulk would’ve been menacing, but because he was so tall, his height gave him the ability to carry his broad shoulders and well-muscled chest and abs without appearing too imposing.
A woman would feel safe and protected in his arms. A dangerous thought.

They talked about inconsequential topics until their meals came, and then Sarah demolished every bite of food.

When she pushed her plate away, Sebastian shook his head, his eyes wide. “
Mon Dieu
, you really
can
eat.”

“I told you I was starving.”

“It’s cool that you eat. So many girls just order salad or something dumb.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not out to impress you.” Sarah knew right away her flirtatious tone was a mistake.
Now I’ve given him the green light to flirt with me. Awesome. As if I didn’t have enough trouble keeping my hands off him.

“You’re not?
Merde
.” Sebastian clutched his hands to his chest. “You have broken my heart.”

“You’re too young for me.” Would he accept that and let her off the hook? She tried to ignore the little piece of her that would be disappointed if he did, even though she should’ve been relieved.

“I’m turning twenty-four at the end of November.” He focused an intense, carnal gaze on her, and its strength gave her pause.

His inherent sexuality was potent. She would have trouble resisting him if he chose to fully unleash it on her. There was just something about him that called to her, something that posed a definite threat to her emotional well-being. Frankly, she was frightened of the power he already had over her, but damn if she didn’t want him anyway.

“Sarah, I’m not a typical guy in my twenties who just wants to have good time. I have a career I work hard at, and I’ve been living on my own for a while now.” Leaning toward her, he slid his fingers over the back of her hand with the gentlest of touches. “I’d like to do this again, to get to know you even better.” He closed the remaining space between them as if he was going to kiss her.

She yanked her arm away. Agreeing to dinner had been a bad idea. She’d denied to herself it was a date, but that’s exactly what he’d been doing when he’d come to her office earlier—asking her on a date. “We should go.” She signaled for the check, too afraid to meet Sebastian’s gaze for fear she’d tackle him to the floor and take what his eyes promised.

When the waitress came to the table, he grabbed the check before Sarah could reach for it. “I’ve got this.”

She took that chance to escape and try to regroup. “I’m going to go use the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.”

He nodded, not meeting her gaze. She couldn’t tell if he was angry, disappointed, or something else entirely.

Once she’d sequestered herself in the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face then stared at her horrified expression in the mirror. She needed to reestablish a professional distance between her and Sebastian, but didn’t have the first clue how. This was the first time she’d been in a situation like this. CAM wasn’t exactly teeming with smoking hot guys.

And more than that, it was mortifying to admit spending even this little bit of time alone with Sebastian elicited such a strong reaction. She wasn’t sure if it was because she hadn’t had sex in over two years—it was so difficult to trust any man after being attacked by someone she’d believed was a friend—or because of something beyond simple lust for this incredibly handsome and sweet hockey player—a potent combination.

Sarah groaned in pure frustration. She hadn’t been this hot and bothered since her first kiss. Sleeping with Sebastian would be a bad move for her career. A horrendously bad move.

You can resist him. You have to.

She couldn’t hide out in the bathroom giving herself a pep talk forever, and with reluctance went back to the table. When she approached, Sebastian rose but did not speak. As they wound through the tables to exit the restaurant, he walked a few steps behind, but when they reached the door, he stepped close to open it. The lean, hard muscles of his forearm brushed against her shoulder and she shivered, despite the heat of his body emanating off him in waves.

It took every modicum of willpower she possessed to not press her body into his just to see how well they’d fit together. She just
knew
their bodies would meld like they were made for each other.

They returned to the arena parking ramp. Sarah had to say something, anything to make it clear they couldn’t be more than colleagues. Then she needed to get the hell out of there. It killed her, but it had to be done. She couldn’t afford to throw away this chance at a great career. “You’re a nice guy, Sebastian.”

He groaned.

“But you know nothing can happen here, right?” Sebastian started to argue, but she held up her hand. “I want to make sure you understand me. It means a lot that you’ve shown a genuine interest in what I’m doing. The rest of the guys regard me as an oddity, or someone who can’t hack it.”

“I know why they are acting that way,” Sebastian said, his eyes shifting away before he met her gaze once more.

“Why?” She was afraid of what he might say, yet still wanted to hear it. Needed to hear it.

“I shouldn’t be telling you this.” He bit his lip and she knotted her hands in her lap so she wouldn’t reach out and snag that bottom lip from where his teeth worried it. “The guys would kill me, but I think you have a right to know what you’re up against. Some of them don’t take you seriously because…” Sebastian gestured in her direction.

Sarah glanced at herself then back at him. “What? What is it about me that’s causing the guys to not take me seriously? I need to know so I can fix it.”

Sebastian’s eyes glittered like the finest emeralds. “You’re a beautiful woman. And you can’t fix that.”

She scoffed. Who was he seeing? It wasn’t Sarah Jenkins, math geek extraordinaire. Sarah exited the car before he could make any more outrageous comments. He didn’t seem like the type to tease, but really, who could think she was beautiful? Turning back to his open window, she said, “I know I’m no model, but you really didn’t need to lie to me.”

Sebastian shot out of the car. “Who is lying?”

“Leave me alone, please.”

“Sarah—”

“No. I need to go.” She got into her car and pealed out of the parking ramp as Sebastian watched, his face a mask of confusion.

Of course it is. I’ve been sending mixed signals all damn night.

There was no doubt in her mind Sebastian had been making a move to kiss her before she bolted from the table. There was also no doubt she’d wanted him to; she’d encouraged him to. But she didn’t understand why he’d try to tell her
other guys
said she was beautiful. She was a math geek with Medusa hair. Did he think it would win him brownie points?

As she pulled into her driveway, she berated herself.
What is the matter with me? I get handed this unbelievable opportunity on a silver platter, and what do I do? One of the very things that could get me fired.
Even considering any sort of relationship outside the rink with one of the players was career suicide.

And yet I did. I am.
Despite knowing all of this, she wanted him with every fiber of her being.

****

“Where’ve you been?” Rob asked when Sebastian returned from dinner with Sarah.

“I went out to dinner.” There wasn’t any point in lying.

“Alone?” Rob said like it was a horrible thing, and Sebastian smiled a little. Rob would never survive eating a meal by himself. Who would he talk to?

Sebastian debated whether or not he should confess who he’d been with. Rob was his best friend, and he could use someone to talk to about this. In the end, that need won. “I, um, I was with Sarah.” Sebastian dared a glance at his friend, whose face was a mixture of surprise and disbelief.