Shy Kinda Love (4 page)

Chapter 3

It’s Friday morning, the weekend before fall classes start at the college. The town has started to show signs of life again, with freshmen and their parents roaming the streets and stores looking for everything they need to begin their college careers. I took the morning off from the barn since Angie is leaving for vacation tonight, which means I’m on for the next seven days. I slept in until nine, so I’ve only been awake for a half hour. We’re watching the
Today Show
when we hear the radio next door. We all three jump and lean to the edge of our seats.

We haven’t had “housemates” all summer. The other side of our duplex has sat vacant since the end of last semester. The girls told me that three guys will be living next door. Gemma knows one of the guys, Max—he’s actually an ex-boyfriend from high school, but she says they’re just friends now. The last she talked to him he wasn’t sure who else would be living with him. So we’re all very curious about the first sounds erupting from the walls next door. The radio is not all that loud, but we can hear every word perfectly clearly.

“Well, sounds like our new roomies have moved in. Let’s go meet them,” Keegan says, then she stands and heads for the door. Gemma looks to me and I shrug. I’m anxious to see who will be living next to us this year, so I stand and follow Keegan. I hear Gemma sigh loudly behind me.

We share an entryway with our neighbors, and a main front door that opens into a small hallway. Our door is to the left; the guys’ is to the right. If we both leave our doors open, we’ll be able to see straight into their living room.

As I get to our front door I look across the entry and see Keegan opening the guys’ door. She didn’t even knock. Great, first day and Keegan lets herself in to their place, even though she has no idea what they are doing. Well, first impressions… no false pretenses here. As she walks through the door I stand in our doorway listening for yelling. I don’t hear angry shouts but I still decide to wait, in case Keegan gets kicked right back out. As I wait, Gemma comes up behind me with a bag of cheese puffs.

“What is that for?” I ask in a whisper, as if we are on an undercover mission.

Gemma responds in a whisper too. “You can’t go meet new neighbors empty-handed. I would have made cookies if I had more time.” Of course she would.

“Cheese puffs? Really?” I ask, arching a brow, or both. I never really got the hang of that one eyebrow thing.

Gemma lifts her chin then turns towards the other apartment. “At least I brought something.”

I shake my head and follow behind her, feeling safe since I’ve heard no yelling. There is no one in the living room, but I can hear male voices coming from the kitchen. I feel the tension begin to spread through my limbs. This is going to be yet another challenge for me. Meeting, and hanging around, new girls has been an adjustment, but having to interact with guys is anxiety-provoking.

Although I want to turn and run back to our place, I continue to follow Gemma toward the voices. Their living room is full of boxes, but I can’t miss the horrible couch. Their couch is mustard yellow and brown, and one side is missing both legs so it sits at a slant. I can’t imagine anyone sitting on that thing. I bet it smells worse than it looks. I shiver a little thinking about it.

As we pass through the kitchen door I see the guys, two sitting at the table and one standing at the counter unpacking a box. I hear Gemma gasp beside me, and then Keegan says, “I know, right?”

A tall, athletic guy is standing at the counter unpacking a box. He stops and crosses the room to wrap Gemma in a hug. This must be Max.

“Hey Gem, it’s great to see you,” he says, then turns and gestures toward another guy who is just closing the door to the fridge. “This is Adrian—the twenty-one-year-old male whore with no filter.”

Adrian turns and smiles and gives us a very cheesy wink. I look away as Max makes his last introduction.

“And this is our resident nerd—” That’s all I hear as I turn to find the third guy, and the reason for the gasp from Gemma. Sitting at the table is none other than Mr. Patrón.

Well, shit. Of course one of my new housemates would be the beautiful guy from the night I made an ass of myself at the bar. I groan then say, out loud, “Fucking Patrón.” Gemma giggles and Keegan repeats, “I know, right.”

Patrón has black hair that has a perfect messy look. He is wearing jeans with a lightweight gray hoodie. He is leaned back in the chair with his arms crossed on his chest, showing off their fantastic definition. As I take in his appearance—and let’s be honest, his body—I lift my gaze to his face and I see Patrón lifting one side of his mouth in a small smile. Shit. He saw me checking him out, again. I decide to play it off so I smile back and lift one shoulder in a shrug.

“Patrón?” Max repeats.

Keegan jumps right in, having no ability to keep her mouth shut. “Yeah, last semester—”

“Keegan,” I yell, cutting her off before she completely humiliates me. She looks over to me and I shift my eyes to Patrón. His brows are raised and he’s wearing a curious half-smile. I’m sure he remembers the fact that he was drinking Patrón, and that I was checking him out then too. Dammit. This morning sucks.

I look away and finally tune in to hear Keegan introducing all of us. It’s then I realize I missed Patrón’s real name. I only heard Max say he’s a total nerd—sure, and I’m the next
American Idol.

All of them share their college identity; year, major, and social group. When I don’t offer my info, the guys all stare at me. Ducking my chin, I lift one hand in a wave.

“Shyanne, and I don’t go to school here.” I nod toward my roommates. “These two picked me up in a bar.” Max and Adrian laugh. Patrón—I definitely should have listened to hear his name—winks and flashes me a cocky smile, as if he has some secret information on me. I wanna flip him off, but that might look a little childish.

I pull my gaze from that cocky smile when I hear Keegan ask, “What are you doing, Max?” I look and see that Max has picked up a box from off the counter and started sorting pill bottles from inside the box.

“Sorting though all these meds and tossing all the ones that are expired. I mean this bottle of Tylenol has been expired for more than a year,” he says, holding up the bottle.

Oh, shit. I can see what’s coming.

“What the hell? Are you kidding me?” she says as she stomps over to him and starts picking up all the bottles he has put into the discard pile. Keegan then searches their cupboards until she finds a plastic bag for all the bottles.

And here we go… full-tilt crazy on day one…

Max looks very confused and asks, “What do you need all of those for, Keegan? Are you girls hard-up for meds over there? I mean, some of those are old prescriptions for antibiotics we never finished. I’m not real sure what you plan to do with those.” He nods his head to the bag that Keegan is still filling. I’m pretty sure she is now taking from the “do not discard” pile too.

Gemma tries to cover. “Yeah, you know how it is with a house full of girls. We have to be prepared for PMS and migraines and yeast infections,” she adds.

Then Keegan
has
to add, “And for the day when our world becomes a place where everyone has to fend for themselves while trying to keep from being eaten by a zombie.” 

The room goes silent, except for the sound of rattling pill bottles being tossed into a bag.

Adrian breaks the silence. “I’m sorry, Keegan, did you just refer to the zombie apocalypse?”

Keegan huffs, then replies, “Yes, Captain Skinny Dick, I did, and if you want to have your laughs then go on, laugh all you want. However, if you find yourself sitting in class next week and all the power goes out and you look out the window to see the walking dead, do not come looking for me. If you lose a finger while trying to defend yourself you will certainly need these antibiotics. Do not come to me. You will not be welcome in my den.”

Adrian is staring at Keegan, who has her bag of pills in hand. She stares back at him. Adrian blinks twice then says, “I’m not sure what part of that last statement is more disturbing, but I’m going to go with the last part. What do you mean your den?”

“You know, the place where I have all my supplies, where I’ll go when it all goes to shit. Some people call it a safe house, or fortress, but mine is small. Anyway, whatever, I’m done entertaining you. I’m taking my meds downstairs and I’ll be back.” She turns and heads towards the door.

After Keegan blows out the door I turn back to the guys. Gemma still has her face buried in her hands so I have three sets of eyes on me. I throw my hands up. “Okay, listen, I swear to you that other than her demented beliefs about the zombie apocalypse, Keegan is a perfectly normal person. This is not something she talks about all the time. So next time, just let her do her crazy thing like collect meds, or maps, or sterile instruments, and it’ll be no big deal.”

Adrian starts shaking his head right away. “No fucking way. That is the most entertainment I’ve had sober since I was like five. I need you to tell me everything I can do to set her off like that again. I need to hear Keegan talk about zombies every day. That,” he says, pointing in the direction Keegan went, “was fucking awesome.”

Keegan waltzes back into the apartment. “Okay, stop talking about me. What are we doing this weekend?”

Adrian speaks up. “I was just talking about that before you girls graced us with your beauty. I was trying to convince genius boy here,” he says, nodding toward Patrón, “that drinking is more fun than studying. Especially since classes haven’t even started yet.” His voice gets louder and he enunciates his words, speaking directly toward Patrón.

That’s the second reference they’ve made to him being a nerd.

“How about we head down to The Hole? I’ve missed that dirty place this summer,” Max suggests.

Everyone is agreeing, but when I look at Patrón, he’s just watching me.

Gemma notices I didn’t agree and asks, “Are you coming, Shy?”

Watching him watch me, I reply, “No. Angie is gone this weekend, so I have to be at the barn in the morning.” I take my seat at the table again. Now that we have gotten through Keegan and her zombies without getting crazy looks from the boys, I settle in for normal conversation.

Keegan is not happy with my answer. “Are you kidding me? This is our first weekend of the semester, can’t someone else feed the damn horses?”

Gemma realizes immediately that Keegan just pushed my hot button and tries to defuse. “Keegan, be nice. Shy, can’t you come out for a couple hours?”

I concede just to keep the peace. “Fine, but let’s go early so I can get to bed early,” I insist in a very grumpy tone.

Patrón picks up on my tone and speaks for the first time. “And I bet you will be tons of fun.” His voice is deep and smooth. The sound causes me to visibly shiver. What the hell? I’ve never had that type of reaction to anyone, ever. I rub my arms in an attempt to appear cold, so he doesn’t realize my shiver was for him.

“Bite me,” I snap back, instantly feeling bad for being a bitch. I turn to see him wearing that half-smile that seems to be the signal for my body to take notice.

“Wait,” Adrian yells. “Are you going to grace us with
your
presence?”

Thinking he’s talking to me, I turn to tell him off too. Just as I look at him, Adrian shifts his eyes from Patrón to me.

“Were you talking to me, or…” I begin, but then stop before I call him by our nickname again.

Still looking at Adrian, I feel a hand on my arm, then Patrón whispers in my ear. “Kade.”

After another involuntary shiver, I turn to look at him. “What?”

“My name is Kade.” Then that damn smile again.

Chapter 4

That night, while we are getting ready to go to the bar, Keegan informs me that Patrón’s real name is Kade Cross. Of course both Keegan and Gemma harass me about him and our staredown in their apartment. I try to ignore their taunts and tell them I am not attracted to him at all, but my lying skills are lousy. I am definitely attracted to him. The problem is, I don’t want to be.

The girls leave for the bar but I stay behind, waiting for Ryder. I’d asked him to join us tonight because I felt like I needed the support. I’m not feeling comfortable about hanging out with our new neighbors, and I know there will be a lot more people at the bar now that the semester is about to begin. While I wait for him I turn on one of my theme songs, “Broken Girl” by Matthew West. Music has been my language since I was twelve, just after my mom left. Once my life took that drastic turn I began to be consumed by emotions I couldn’t explain. At twelve, I didn’t have the words to describe or understand the feelings that were consuming me. Then one day, on the radio, I heard the song “Perfect World” by Simple Plan. It was like they’d written the song for me. After that revelation, I became obsessed with music—listening to every line of every song, searching for more words to speak for me.

A few minutes later Ryder walks through the door, and he shakes his head when he hears the song. “You and your soundtrack for life.” He reaches one hand out to me where I am sitting on the couch. I reach out my hand, too, and he pulls me to my feet. He wraps me in his strong arms and kisses my forehead.

After a few minutes of catching Ryder up on my new neighbors and the drama with my roommates, Ryder and I head off to The Hole. Once through the door, I see my girls sitting at a table with our new neighbors. I take a deep breath and walk over, introducing Ryder to the guys. I introduce Kade last, avoiding eye contact, then I excuse myself to get a beer.

I linger at the bar a few minutes after I get my beer, and soon Ryder joins me. “What are you looking at back there?” I ask, when I notice he keeps looking over my shoulder. I really want to turn and look for myself.

Ryder looks back to me and I see that hardness in his eyes he gets when he is in protector mode. “What do you know about these guys, Shy? You need to get me all of their names so I can run a check on them. Also, you really need to let me put in surveillance cameras outside the apartment.” He reaches for his beer and I see the muscle in his jaw twitch. “I felt so much better when you lived with me.”

I sigh and roll my eyes. “Ryder, in case you forgot, me moving in with the girls was your idea in the first place. You are not pulling your ultra-stealth-CIA-detective-commando bullshit in my life now. I’m a twenty-one-year-old girl. I’m supposed to live next to guys, get drunk at parties, and go home with strangers —” I’m cut off when Ryder growls. I know I’m pushing his buttons, but he is the one who told me to get a life. “If there’s anything about these guys, or anyone else I run into, that triggers my Spidey sense, then I will call you and your superhero duties into action.” I end with a big smile and a playful punch to his chest.

Ryder glances back over my shoulder, then takes a deep breath. “I’m running a check on them. That’s not up for discussion. In the meantime, you promise me that you’ll call me if you get any strange feelings. From anyone, not just them.”

“My Spidey sense,” I correct him. “If you get to be a superhero, then so do I.”

Ryder finally relaxes and pulls me in for a hug. “Baby, you know how much I worry about you. I know you know, so I won’t push this anymore.” He squeezes me, kissing the top of my head. “I know you need to have your normal twenty-one-year-old experiences, but don’t give me that shit about going home with strangers. If I ever find out you did something so stupid I will personally install a tracking device in your ass and monitor that ass every day.”

I cringe because I know he is not exaggerating. I tease him that his job title is super-stealth-superhero, but I’m pretty sure it’s close to what he really does. So I totally believe my ass could already have a tracking device. I reach down and rub one ass cheek before I can stop myself.

Ryder laughs. “Relax, your ass is tracker-free… for now.” He says it with a wink, then he glances over my shoulder again. “Any idea why your housemate can’t find anything interesting in this bar to look at other than us?”

I have to grip the bar to keep from turning to see who he’s referring to. “Which one?”

“Which one do you want it to be?” he asks me with a knowing grin.

I roll my eyes, trying to hide my lie. “I don’t care which one it is.”

Ryder wraps one of his strong hands around the back of my neck and pulls my head against his lips, planting another small kiss on my temple. “It’s okay to be attracted to someone. You’re an attractive young woman who most men notice. I’ve never seen you notice any of them…until this one. I saw the way you looked at him the last time we were here, and I can see you’re trying not to look at him now.” He releases my neck as he stands. “Stop thinking about what you shouldn’t feel and allow yourself to explore what you do.”

I turn to argue, but he’s already walking away. I’m about to leave, so I don’t have to think about feeling anything, when I hear some approach the bar next to me. I don’t move to see who is next to me until I hear his soft, strong voice speak to me.

“No Patrón tonight?”

I turn in the direction of his voice, and I’m instantly caught in those gray, knowing eyes again. I may need to ask him to start wearing sunglasses around me. That’s not weird, right? I blink a couple times then look away, trying to escape those eyes. “Not tonight. What about you?” I ask, noticing he’s not holding a drink.

Shaking his head, Kade replies, “I don’t really drink.”

Before I can challenge his statement, Kade asks, “I’m curious about something. Why is it that when you saw me today you cursed the tequila? It
is
a perfectly good tequila.”

I snap my head back to him, looking as though he has just greatly offended me. “I was
not
cursing the tequila,” I scoff. “I was cursing you.”

Kade’s expression goes from curious to amused. “You nicknamed me Patrón?”

He has that adorable grin on again. I feel my cheeks warm. What the hell? Now I’m blushing? I don’t blush.

“So you saw me that one night, and I was memorable enough to get a nickname?”

I don’t look at him because there is no way I want him to see the embarrassment on my face. “Well, no… I mean… no.” That is my genius reply. Then I decide I can go with part of the truth. “You were memorable because you were drinking Patrón.”

“Oh, okay,” he says with a lift of his chin. “Well, if I’m being honest, I was staring at you that night because I felt like I was looking at someone I’d know all my life.” He lifts one hand and tucks my hair behind my ear. “But I knew I’d never seen you before.”

Once again, I’m confused by his words, and again he speaks before I gather my thoughts.

“So I have to ask, is that your boyfriend?” He inclines his head in the direction Ryder had gone.

“Ryder?” I shake my head. “No, he’s like my brother.”

Kade’s smile gets bigger. “Okay, so Keegan said you don’t go to school here. Does that mean you grew up around here?”

It takes me a moment to catch up to his change in direction. I take one last glance at those lips before I answer, “No. Ryder and I moved here, almost three years ago, from Arizona.” Of course the Arizona part is a lie, but a necessary one.

“You moved to Ohio from Arizona, with a guy who is like your brother, when you were only eighteen,” Kade restates, looking confused. “Where are your parents?”

“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. I know these are normal questions to ask someone you just met, but they are not questions I want to answer.

Kade must notice I’m uncomfortable with this topic, because he tries for a different one. “So, tell me about this horse barn. You work there?”

I sigh and it sounds almost dreamy, so I clear my throat to cover it. Horses are the only thing that can make me sound dreamy.

“It’s a horse farm just outside of town. There’s a huge barn with twenty stalls, an indoor arena, and acres of pasture. The owners, Angie and John, have six horses of their own. There are also eight horses that people board. Then there’s my horse, and four other horses Angie is training.”

“Wait, you have a horse?” He asks, looking intrigued.

I nod. “Yeah. He’s a rescue. I got him about two and half years ago.”

“What kind of work does one do at a barn?”

“In addition to daily chores, I manage the barn, the boarders, feed for all the horses, vet appointments, and blacksmith appointments. The most exciting part, though, is that Angie has been teaching me how to train. She’s been working with horses for more than twenty years. She can break a horse, correct problem behaviors, and train for show, all using natural horsemanship.” Realizing I’m sounding dreamy again, I stop talking, but don’t look at Kade until he speaks.

He’s smiling as he goes on to ask me several more questions about the barn and what I do with the horses. He truly seems interested, so I answer a few questions about how I got Walker and about the horses I train. After a few minutes of talking I realize what I’m doing: I’m talking to a complete stranger about my life. How is this the person I’ve become? Before Keegan and Gemma bulldozed into my life, I never talked to people. Even the girls at the barn are kept at a distance.

“What breed is Walker?”

“A mutt,” I say, smiling. “He’s not registered, but he has the build and personality of a quarter horse, but the markings of a paint.”

“Did you know that the term
quarter
refers to a quarter of a mile?” Kade asks.

I furrow my brow, thinking I missed something.

Kade laughs. “Quarter-mile horse racing is part of the breed’s history. In the eighteenth century, the Colonists raced them on village main streets, and they became known for their speed for up to a quarter-mile.”

“Um… no, I didn’t know any of that.” Realizing I’m staring at his mouth, I blink, then look up to his eyes. “As a matter of fact, I would guess that most people in the horse community don’t know, and if they did, could not recite all the facts you just spewed.”

“Adrian says I have a lot of useless information up here.” Kade shrugs, tapping his head with a finger. “I guess it’s a side effect of reading everything that’s put in front of me. I love facts, so I’m always looking for new ones. But that’s all I know about horses—well, except for the origins of a few other breeds. I’ve never ridden a horse, or even been near one.”

My mind is spinning. What hot college senior doesn’t drink, and loves to read for the sake of gaining information?

“I’d like to go with you to the barn in the morning.” Kade’s surprising statement pulls me out of my thoughts.

What? I just met him. “Um, I don’t think so. I have a ton of work to get done so I don’t have time to entertain you.” My mood change is clear in my voice, and I can tell that by Kade’s expression.

He leans back on his stool, with a look of challenge in his eyes. “Shy, just watching you will be entertainment enough. Now, what time do you leave in the morning?” he asks, with complete confidence.

Okay, fine, he wants to play control freak? Let’s see how this control freak feels about sunrise. “5:45,” I deadpan.

He can’t hide his shock. “Are you serious? What sane person gets up at five to take care of horses? Or for any reason?”

“I never said I was sane.”

Kade shakes his head again. “Well then, come get me at 5:45.”

I stand, beginning to feel trapped. “No, you’re not going to the barn. Now, I need to hang out with my girls for a few minutes before I go home to bed. Goodnight,” I say.