Silencing Joy (10 page)

I took the blanket and finagled it around
inside. Will climbed in with me, and my heart raced while I waited
for him to get settled. I lay on my side facing away from him. I
could make out the rifle silhouette next to me. He shifted so there
was a layer of blanket between us.

“I’m okay, if you want the blanket to
yourself,” I offered, surmising he was cold.

“Um, no that’s not why I moved it.”
Realization flowered in my brain.
Oh!
Good thing it was
nighttime because I turned tomato-red.

“Shit.”

He leaned over me to get the rifle. His body
stretched over mine, and I was given the full reason for the
blanket between us...which, by the way, was a very thin blanket.
The rifle passed over my head, and I could sense Will shifting onto
his back. I cradled my hands under my face.

“Did you like me in school?” I asked.

“Not a good time for that question, Joy.” I
thought he scrubbed his hands over his face as he sighed. He did
that a lot. “...But, yes. I thought you were the prettiest girl in
school...To me you were different than the rest.”

“Oh...”

“In a good way....” Will adds.

The silence between us was amplified with,
literally, crickets loudly chirping all around us.

“When I saw you smile one day in the
hallway...I wanted to talk to you...I just couldn’t... Then you
graduated.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that shocking
admission, so I didn’t say anything. I could tell he had turned
over towards me, but I still lay there on my side. Will kept space
between us as he continued.

“That night, when I finally focused and could
slightly open my eyes after the beating, I was shocked to realize
it was you. It was like God sent me an angel.” My heart raced as he
stroked my hair, his voice wonderfully soothing.

I had never been in this situation before. I
stayed away from anyone who hit on me and said no to anyone who
asked me out. It wasn’t that I just wanted to shut people out
either. It seemed a waste of time to me to go through the motions
when I wasn’t interested. No one really got my heart
pumping...until now.

Will was right. I didn’t really look at him.
Maybe because he was different...and I was starting to fall for
him. If he wanted to caress my hair for the rest of his life, like
he was doing right then, I’d have let him. He angled himself closer
to me in the sleeping bag.

“Joy?” he whispered softly and hesitated.
“Can I kiss you?”

Like an idiot, I nodded my head. He gently
pulled on my arm to get me to flip around. I didn’t budge. I was so
embarrassed. If it were daylight, my face would catch fire.

“You’re gonna make me work for it, huh?”

He lifted my hair off my neck and his fingers
brushed against my sensitive skin. He shifted slightly and trailed
sensual kisses along the back of my neck. Sparks of pleasure shot
from where his lips touched to my stomach. I moved into him a
little. He gave a light laugh and slid his kisses up to the back of
my ear.

It undid me like a present wrapped for
Christmas. I unraveled...I think, moaned. I dizzily lost myself as
passion filled me, replacing any senses I had. I reached my hand
back and pulled him closer. When he tried to turn me this time, I
let him. Will braced above me, kissing my neck, my cheek, the
corner of my mouth. His rough chin sent chills through my hot
body.

“You’re still making me work for it, Joy,” he
whispered against my face. His seductive voice echoed through me,
tightening the muscles low in my hips. I met his mouth with mine.
Our lips were perfect together. It wasn’t enough for me, though. I
needed more.

In a swift motion, I pushed him to flip onto
his back and he pulled me on top of him. Our bodies lined up
deliciously. The blanket was lost...gone. I didn’t want it between
us anyway. I wanted to feel what I was doing to him.

His hands moved across my back to my waist
and slipped in and out from the bottom of my shirt. He memorized my
body in a ruthless tease, grabbing the belt loops on my jeans to
hold me tighter against him. We moved together. Passion and want
stuffed themselves into the empty spaces of the sleeping bag.

I had never done this before, but I knew what
I wanted. I needed to get these damn jeans out of the way. I
reached down between us, never breaking the kiss, to undo my jeans.
A hand stopped me, and I look down perplexed.

“Joy, I’m sorry,” Will whispered. His tone
and actions broke me from my daze.

“What are you sorry for?” I asked ready to
get back to it.

“I did this to you...I’m sorry. We should
quit while we’re ahead.” Regret sounded in his voice in the thick
darkness of night. I stayed quiet and confused, our hands still on
the zipper of my jeans. “I told myself I just wanted to kiss you.
And I did. I really did.” He let go of my hand and scrubbed his
face with his hands again. “You are so beautiful. I couldn’t help
myself...You’re so
reserved...
I didn’t figure on
this
getting out of control.”

My eyes blink in angry flaps and the harsh
sting of rejection moved in replacing passion. I shift my hand
caressingly between his legs and gently stroked up and down. Will’s
head fell back on to the ground, he moaned.

“How’s that for reserved?” I taunted
sarcastically and rolled over on my side facing away from him. My
face didn’t even burn with embarrassment from the brazen thing I
just did. I may have been inexperienced, but wasn’t stupid.

My heart jackhammered with little pings of
rejection. I felt the cold air around me as my body mellowed out
and my breathing slowed. Will fussed with the sleeping bag to fix
it, and then he covered us back up. I felt angry. I wanted to tell
him to never touch me again. But that wouldn’t have been the truth.
If he hadn’t stopped it, I could have done that all night, slept,
and awakened wanting more.

Kara:

Tommy’s distinctive voice echoes across and over the
large space of the warehouse. Its resonance overshadows Kara daily.
Pizza and soda are the daily dietary selections. Just the image of
a pizza slice makes Kara want to hurl.

“
Please... Please let me go. I won’t tell my dad.
I just want to go home...” Kara pleads.

Pleading with her captors proves futile and only
earned her a few more backhanded slaps across her face. Tommy is
notorious for hitting her. Thinking about the whacks creates a
ghost of a sting on her cheek.

When her gag is off, she can talk, but no one
listens. It is worse than being a mute with tied hands. Tommy’s
guys completely and utterly ignore her, and, when exhaustion isn’t
overtaking her, frustration is. Her mind frequently turns to Derek
and her father. Where are they? Won’t one of them come to save her?
Kara wonders why she never sees Derek. Why doesn’t he come?

Sometimes, her blindfold is on and sometimes it was
off, depending on who else is there. Brian typically leaves it off.
Other guys, coming and going throughout the day, pass by Kara. She
doesn’t know any of their names. They treat her like she doesn’t
exist...like she is some type of property. She is a sin to them. If
you ignore it, it lessens your guilt.

I felt as though I woke up in the same
position I fell asleep in. Will was crushed up against me, his slow
breathing moving stray strands of my hair. I elbowed him
lightly.

“Will...Will...It’s morning.” My breath
formed a mist. He grunted.

Great. Mr. Cranky-pants was back.
I
shuffled away a bit, and his arm shot around to pull me back to
him. He buried his face in my hair and kissed it. It tickled. I
scrunched my shoulders and giggled. He did it again.

“Don’t start that again,” I said chuckling.
He stopped and paused, that awkward moment waiting for the hammer
to fall.

“Are you mad about last night?” he asked,
sounding worried.

“No. You’re right. It was a mistake,” I
taunted him. Actually, last night was amazing. I never thought I
could feel that way. Passion and want took over my brain, leaving
the solid, shy, controlled,
keep-people-at-a-distance
Joy
behind.

“I never said it was a mistake,” he said
rapidly as he propped his head up on his hand.

“No, you’re right, it won’t happen
again.”

I laughed, loving the feeling of control. He
turned me over onto my back. I peered straight at him. My face
didn’t burn or give the slightest flush.

He brushed his hand across my side
dangerously close to where my bra met my ribs.

“It will if I have anything say about it.”
His voice was seductive and husky.

A hundred mini butterflies crashed into my
chest, swirling to the nether regions of my body that only last
night found their on switch
.

The morning was cold; neither one of us
wanted to get out of the snug, warm sleeping bag. Will got up
first. The backpack had more granola bars and a couple of
Gatorades. I ate my granola bar in the comfort and warmth of the
sleeping bag, while Will checked the time. He calculated our
position and points the compass to where we need to go.

“Are you sure that they won’t suspect us
going to this town? What did you call it...Sydney?” I question,
rolling the sleeping bag neatly.

“I can’t be sure of anything, but we can’t
live out here. Take the blanket and put it around your shoulders
until the weather warms up.” That was a great idea because my teeth
were chattering.

We walked for an hour. My stomach growled
from only having granola bars for the last two meals. We were
expending serious energy between running yesterday...to the heated
thrashing in the covers last night...to now, walking again.

“Umm, I gotta go,” I say quietly. The
Gatorade went straight through me. I had to pee.

“Yeah, me too. Go behind that tree over
there. I’ll stay here and go.”

I had to say that this week, besides being
terrified, had been fraught with firsts, some good...some not so
good.

After personal business was taken care of, we
proceeded with another hour of endless walking. As we came to a
road, Will checked the map. It wasn’t a major highway, but it was
better than shoving branches out of the way and stepping over
fallen trees.

Will tried to shove the rifle into the
backpack so it couldn’t be seen, but it was too big. He took the
blanket from me and wrapped up the part of it that was sticking out
of the pack. It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do. We didn’t
need passersby to see it and freak. Will took my hand and followed
the road towards the town.

“You don’t need to hold my hand.”

“It’s our disguise,” he said grinning at
me.

“How is holding hands a disguise?”

“People will focus on us as a couple not as
individuals. They won’t focus too much on our faces.”

“Yeah, right,” I said, not sounding convinced
at all. “That’s ridiculous.”

“There are studies to prove it,” he said
assuredly.

“Who would study something like that?”

“The government,” he replied conclusively.
“They study all types of social structures and human behaviors.
They want their agents to blend in.”

“Wow,” I said, mocking him. “That’s where you
must have learned that ingenious hat and sunglasses disguise. Gee
whiz, you’re amazing.” I batted my eyelashes at him.

“Well, at least you’re looking at me today,
even if it is with sarcasm.”

We laughed and joked on our long hike. My
time with Will was very comfortable, a sense of feeling like I had
known him forever. He might have broken down a wall that I hadn’t
been a hundred percent aware I had built. I trusted him. It was
wonderful to just hold his hand and talk.

“So, do you play any sports?” I asked. “I
already know you can swim.”

“Soccer,” he said. “The FBI holds tournaments
every year in different sports. It’s a camaraderie thing. I play in
the soccer tournament. Derek plays in the football.”

Will stopped speaking. I wanted to keep the
conversation going and learn more about him. I knew he had tough
childhood, but something inside me needed to know more.

“Tell me one good thing about your
childhood,” I asked brazenly.

He put his fingers to his lips thinking, his
other hand clutching mine.

“I had a bike,” he declared.

“Oh? A motorbike?” I asked, having trouble
picturing Will on a plain old bicycle.

“No. A pedal bike.” He hesitated. “But I
stole it,” he said remorsefully.

“Oh.”

“Like I told you, we had nothing. I always
felt guilty for stealing that bike, though, even to this day.”

I decided to change the subject, not wanting
Will to think about anything that made him unhappy, especially
considering our situation.

“What did it feel like getting recruited? For
the FBI, I mean.”

“It was my big break. It was my time to make
decisions for myself. It was an opportunity to help other people.
It was a way out of the shit-storm I was in. Derek and the FBI
turned my life around, and I never want to go back.”

“What was the training like?” I asked, very
curious and interested.

“It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced
before. Rigorous and exhausting. They challenged my mind and body.
They put us through physical drills, like obstacle courses and push
up after push up. We had classes just like school. We had textbooks
and homework. We worked in groups and were given mock cases to
solve.” Will’s eyes gleamed as he spoke. “Derek and I were
undefeated. We work really well together, almost like
brothers.”

“Is that why you guys were put on this
case?”

“Yeah,” he added happily. “You just happen to
be a bonus.” He winked at me and squeezed my hand.

Talking made the time go by. As we walked,
the area got more populated. Homes now peppered the street on each
side. In front of us was town. More cars passed by. The world was
waking up...and we were on the run. It was hard to comprehend that,
only yesterday, I was getting shot at. Will pulled me deeper
curbside towards a thicket of trees to the right.