Six Naughty Nights: Love in Reverse, Book 2 (22 page)

Still, he had made the decision to leave her. She mustn’t forget that. How much could a person change? Clearly the fact that he’d walked away, and that he was still single, meant he had trouble committing. She had to keep reminding herself this was just sex, a distraction while she was on holiday. Nothing serious could come out of it. That was why she’d applied for the job in Dunedin.

Charlie played on the grass with Sasha and Jayden, Matt and Cath’s children. Sasha was a typical six-year-old girl and bossed the two boys around with great delight. Jayden ignored her most of the time, but Charlie watched her with wide eyes and did whatever she told him to do, right up to jumping off a box into the paddling pool, where he promptly slipped over and fell on his butt.

Both she and Toby twitched, about to leap to their feet, but Charlie jumped up and down when Sasha squealed with delight at his antics, enjoying every minute of playing the fool.

“So like his father,” Matt said.
 

“Falling on his ass?” Felix remarked.

Matt grinned. “I meant showing off for the girls, but yeah, now you come to mention it.”

Toby smiled affably as everyone laughed, but Esther wondered whether their comments stung. Did he mind being the butt of everyone’s jokes? Or did it rile him as it riled her? She’d ask him about it later.

Meanwhile, she determined to cheer him up. She caught his eye and waved her glass at him. “Could you get me another drink of lemonade please?” Making sure nobody was looking, she finished by mouthing the word
Slave
.

His lips curved slowly. “Of course.” He took the glass, refilled it and handed it back to her. “There you go.”
Mistress.
He mouthed the word.

“Thank you.” She sipped it and winked at him. His hot gaze told her he was thinking about what she might order him to do later that evening.

As the afternoon wore on, she enjoyed herself by continuing to ask him to do things for her. Fetch her cardigan from the car when a light breeze lowered the temperature. Cut her another piece of cake. Sort Charlie out when he needed the bathroom. Carry the dishes in while she stretched out on the lounger. The funny thing was, none of the others mentioned it. Was this what it was like for ordinary couples? She’d never had anyone to ask before to fetch her drinks or do things for her. She decided she could rather grow to like it.
 

While Matt and Felix played football with the kids and Cath snoozed in the late sun, Esther placed her feet on Toby’s lap and wiggled her toes.

“My feet ache,” she said quietly, so only he could hear her. “Could you massage them please, slave?”

“As my lady demands.” He took them in his big hands and pressed his thumbs into her soles, brushing down to her toes with sensual strokes that soon made her realise her plan was backfiring.

“Mm.” She shifted in the chair, growing aroused at his gentle, sure touch. “Stop.”

He tightened his grip on her ankles, however, refusing to let her go, and she sat still and glared at him. She couldn’t escape without making a fuss and alerting everyone to what they were doing. He stroked up the arches of her feet, slipped his fingers between her toes, stroked up her instep and circled her ankle bone until she shivered all over.

“Toby…”

“What?” He continued to play with her, sending delicious sensations right through her body. She hadn’t realised her feet were so sensitive. Or maybe it was just the thought of how it would feel to have those same hands on her body, arousing her slowly until she thrummed like a guitar string, singing the special song she sang only for him.

The sun came out from behind the clouds and warmed her through, and she closed her eyes and tipped up her face to capture its rays and give herself over to his light, gentle touch. She sank into a kind of sexual trance, and it was only when Matt and Felix walked up to them that she shook herself out of it and pulled her legs away.

Her face flushed. Had they seen her and Toby? Matt went over to his wife and woke her with a kiss, but she could tell from the smile on Felix’s face that he’d observed what they were doing.

He sat opposite them, took a swig from his beer and said, “So, are you two an item?”

“No,” they said together.

“Huh.” His eyes danced, but he didn’t say anything.

Esther’s cheeks burned even more when he exchanged an amused smile with Toby. She stood and asked Matt, “Can I use your bathroom, please?”

“Sure.” He gave her directions to it, and she walked into the house. Why did she get embarrassed so often? She was a grown-up, and what she and Toby chose to do in their own time was nobody else’s business. So why did his teasing smile make her feel like a sixteen-year-old on her first date?

Toby propped his feet on the small wall running around the decking and lowered his sunglasses. Unfortunately, he could still see his brother’s grin.

“Not involved?” Felix said. “Yeah, right.”

“You don’t have to be involved to have sex,” Toby said.

Felix raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“It’s a mutual arrangement while she’s here in the Northland. It’s not a thing.”

Felix pointed his beer bottle at him. “It’s totally a thing and you’re kidding yourself if you think it’s not.”

“Bollocks,” Toby said, getting annoyed. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“To you maybe. She’s got stars in her eyes when she looks at you.”

Toby opened his mouth and then shut it again. Esther had feelings for him? He knew how he felt about her, but it was always so difficult to gauge someone else’s reaction. She liked him, and of course she fancied him. But she’d made it quite clear their current arrangement was purely about sex. She hadn’t had sex for three years—it made sense to him that she’d take the opportunity to sleep with him when they’d had such a great time in bed before. He wasn’t insulted by that fact. He liked to think he was good in bed and he’d done the same thing himself before when sex was being offered.

But still, Felix was implying there was more to it than sexual gratification, and that unnerved him.

“Ah,” Felix said.

“Ah what?” Now he was growing irritable, and he shifted in his seat as Matt and Cath sat back up at the table and listened to the conversation.

Felix’s eyes gleamed. “You’ve got feelings for her too.”

They all stared at him. Toby tipped back his head with a sigh and stared up at the sky for a few moments before returning his gaze to them with exasperation. “She’s the mother of my son. Of course I have feelings for her. I like her. She’s gorgeous. I want to have sex with her. That doesn’t mean it has to be deep and meaningful.”

“Of course it doesn’t,” Matt said. “You don’t do deep and meaningful.”

Toby said nothing as the others laughed. Once, he would have agreed with them. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

Chapter Twenty-Six

“What’s the joke?” Esther rejoined them at the table.

“We were just saying how Toby doesn’t do deep and meaningful,” Cath said.

She met Toby’s gaze. “Oh, I think there’s more to him than meets the eye.” She smiled.

“Nah,” Matt said. “When he was asked in an exam at school ‘Where was the Treaty of Waitangi signed?’ he wrote ‘At the bottom’.”

Felix and Cath burst out laughing. Toby sighed and nodded his assent, seemingly unembarrassed by the admission.

“That doesn’t mean he’s shallow,” Esther protested, wondering why she felt the need to defend him repeatedly. “He’s actually very thoughtful and insightful.”

Felix raised an eyebrow. “Are we talking about the same brother here?”

She glared at him, annoyed that she was annoyed. He held her gaze, clearly interested in the relationship between her and his brother.

He said something, and she blinked because he’d said it in Latin. Of course, he was a lawyer—he’d be familiar with the basic structure of the language.

It had been a while since she’d studied it, and it took her a moment to translate the words.

“Do you love him?” he’d asked. Toby stared at him, then at her, but she didn’t look at him. She scowled at Felix, but he refused to be stared down. “He is a good man,” she replied carefully, also in Latin.

“He loves you,” he replied.

Her eyes widened and her cheeks grew hot. “Bollocks,” she said in English before she could think better of it.

Matt glanced at Felix with amusement. “There’s your answer.” Of course, the damn doctor had also understood what they were saying.

“I’m sitting right here,” Toby said mildly. “I’m guessing the three of you know how incredibly rude you’ve just been?”

The guys just smiled, but Esther looked down as the conversation continued, knowing he was right. Her stomach tightened in a knot. Damn Felix and his penetrating gaze. He didn’t know what he was talking about. He’d implied there was some kind of romantic involvement going on between her and Toby, and he was completely wide of the mark. Of course she was fond of Toby—he was the father of her child, for heaven’s sake. And she fancied him rotten. That didn’t mean she loved him. She wasn’t going to let herself love him.

For years she’d studied novels where the heroine swooned every time the hero passed by, unable to control her passionate feelings for him. Much as she loved classical literature, it was all romantic nonsense. A person absolutely could control their feelings for another person. Or at least, that person could control the way they reacted to those feelings. Although she was sympathetic toward women who’d been mistreated by men, deep down she couldn’t understand a woman who stayed in a destructive relationship. “But I love him” was not an excuse that passed muster for her.
 

Love wasn’t an airy-fairy thing that could be caught like the common cold. Love started with plain, old-fashioned lust, a surge of hormones caused by a prehistoric urge to copulate and reproduce. Attraction was a physical, chemical thing—everyone knew men liked women with big breasts and shapely butts because on some subconscious level it meant they would be suitable to bear their children. And lust developed into love over time, maturing like expensive whisky, born out of trust and comfort and feeling safe and secure with your mate. A person couldn’t “fall in love”. Lust, yes. Love, no. She’d never been in love, and she had no intention of succumbing to it, either. She’d assuage her physical need and Cupid could bugger off and shoot someone else.

She looked at Toby, not overly surprised to find him studying her thoughtfully. She smiled, but he didn’t return it. A frown hovered on his brow. He was upset. Why? What had annoyed him?

“Okay.” He pushed his chair back. “I think Esther and I will make a move, if that’s all right. Are you sure about looking after Charlie, Cath?”

“Of course.” The plump, amenable Cath smiled. “Where are you off to—the cinema?”

“Yeah. One of the Bourne films.” Toby’s gaze met Esther’s. “We’re really looking forward to seeing it, aren’t we?”

Well, she could hardly contradict him now. “Mm,” she said in a non-committal voice.

He held a hand out to her. “Come on. Don’t want to miss the exciting opening scenes, eh?”

She took his hand and smiled at Cath. “Thank you for looking after Charlie. If he gives you any hassle, just call Toby’s mobile.”

“No worries. We’ll have an ice cream sundae in a minute and he can choose what toppings he wants—kids love doing that. Then he can have a bath with Jayden. That’ll keep them both amused for a while.”

“Thank you.” Esther couldn’t get rid of her shyness at the thought that these strangers were happy to look after her son. But Matt and Felix were Charlie’s uncles, and Sasha and Jayden were his cousins. They were his family. And even though they were practically strangers, blood had an odd effect on people. When she was younger, her father had taken her to the Crusaders rugby matches in Christchurch, and there had always been a kind of tribal atmosphere as they’d walked to the ground wearing the team jersey. This felt similar, the same kind of affinity with total strangers because they were your family, your kin.

Matt and Felix stood as they went to leave, and Matt came forward to kiss her on the cheek. “Sorry if we embarrassed you,” he murmured. His eyes were gentle. “We’re so used to teasing each other we forget some people don’t like it.”

Her cheeks grew warm at his sincerity. “I’m an only child,” she admitted. “I’m just not used to it, that’s all.”

“Just tell us to fuck off if we go too far.” Felix also kissed her on the cheek. “We won’t be offended.”

She laughed. “I couldn’t possibly do that. But thanks.”

Toby tugged her hand. “Come on.” He nodded to his brothers. “We’ll see you later.” He walked around the house to the front where they’d parked the car, bringing Esther with him.

She frowned at him as he unlocked the car and got in. His jaw looked knotted as if he was clenching his teeth. She opened the door, slid into the passenger seat and clipped herself in before turning to him. “What’s up?”

He glanced at her as he clipped in his seatbelt and then turned his attention back to the car, slotting in the key and starting the engine. “Nothing.” He pulled away smoothly and guided the car onto the main road toward his house.

She studied him, puzzled. It was the first time since she’d met him that he’d seemed preoccupied. Tentatively, she laid a hand on his arm. “What is it?”