Skinny Melon and Me (17 page)

It’s good to have a pond. Foxes, badgers and hedgehogs can drink there and it might bring frogs and toads.

I’m happy that you like the book but sad you didn’t like poor Simon and his beard. Maybe he looked OK when he shaved it off?

I hope you like me better now that I have no beard!

I’m crusty when I’m cross and soft when I’m not cross. Today I’m not cross. Today I’m happy! It will soon be Christmas!

I have just realised what the little symbols are down the sides.

She loves me,
she loves me not …
And he always does these
little pictures of a flower.

There aren’t many petals left now. I wonder what he’ll do when he gets to the end???

I’m not sure yet that I love him, but he’s not as bad as I used to think.

Today we had cowpats and cardboard slices for dinner. Well, that is what I had. Skinny Melon had what looked like armadillo droppings in greasy washing-up water. We both suffered stomach pains, dizziness and a feeling of total norseea. Norsea?

I have not been recording school meals just lately. This is not because they have been good, but simply because I have had too many other things to think about. Like, for instance, the end of term play! Old Roland the Rat and Mum are both going to come, though Mum says she is thinking of bringing ear plugs in case my loud untuneful voice frightens the baby, which she says it well could, even though it is still in the
woom. I told her it will give it a feeling for music but Mum only laughed. Mum is very rude about my singing. All I can say is, she is in for a Big Surprise!

One of the seniors who is in the play, called Davina Walters, stayed for an angel rehearsal the other day. When I had finished my solo she cried, “That’s it, Cherry baby! Sock it to ‘em!” And Miss Burgess told Amanda, who is another angel, that she ought to “take a leaf out of Cherry’s book”. She said, “Her voice may not always be quite in tune but at least it can be heard.”

She only said about it not being in tune because she didn’t want to make Amanda jealous. Amanda has a voice like a sick cow.

I have given up the idea of asking Dad to come. If he said yes and then at the last minute found he was too busy I would be disappointed and hurt so I think it is best not to raise false hopes.

I looked those words up. It is nausea and womb. Why is womb pronounced woom and comb pronounced coam?

I sent a picture message to Skinny Melon in class today and now we are going to do it all the time but not with Mrs James or Miss Milsom as they can be mean.

Green grollies in sicky sauce. Yeeeurgh!

Horse dropping tart. I just don’t believe they were mushrooms. They were brown. Whoever heard of brown mushrooms?

Dad just rang! He said, “I haven’t got anything special to talk about but I thought I’d call and say hallo and find out how you’re getting on.” I said I was getting on OK except for maths and computers and CDT and also home ec where Mrs Marshall despairs of me. I know this for a fact because she said so. She said, “Cherry Waterton, I despair of you.” This was because I sewed a hem all wrong and she had to unpick it and start again, and when she gave it back to me I said, “I’m left-handed, does it matter?” And of course it did because I sew from a different direction.

I told this to Dad and he laughed and said, “All the best people are left-handed.” I wonder if this is true? I have just realised that old Ratty is, though I didn’t say this to Dad.

So anyway we talked for a bit and then Dad said he had to go but that we must “see each other again very soon”, so before I could stop myself I said why didn’t he
come to the school play and hear me sing, but he said unfortunately he couldn’t do that as he is so busy. All these Americans keep coming over and Dad is the only person who can deal with them.

At least it is better to know now than to think he is coming and then he doesn’t.

Went shopping with Mum and Roland Rat and saw brown mushrooms! I never noticed them before. But the ones they dished up at school were all soft and squashy so I still think they were horse droppings. I expect they get them cheap by the bucketful.

Sereena came over and I taught her how to do picture messages. That girl has a mind like a sewer. All she could think to do was giggle and draw pictures of lavatories and bums.

That’s have and bump. Geddit? Roly Rat is far cleverer than that.

What he would do is:

But Roly is a real artist. Sereena is just stupid. She has a one-track mind. Also she said something which annoyed me so much that I shouted at her. I was showing her some of Roly’s picture messages and she said that personally she thought they were somewhat childish. I snapped, “Oh do you? Well, for your information that is just where you’re wrong. My stepdad happens to be a totally brilliant picture book artist who has had books published in every country in the world. Even in Russia. Even in Japan.”

That shut her up.

I told the Skinbag about Sereena and Skin said that she sounded like a very obnoxious kind of person. I said that she is and that I hoped now I had snubbed her she would stay away from me. I think she had some nerve saying that about poor old Roly Rat’s drawings. The Melon agrees. She thinks Roly is the cat’s whiskers. She said today that she wished her mum could meet someone like him.

Only 12 days to go till Christmas! Mum asked me this evening what I wanted as my Christmas present and I said, “You know what I want! I want a dog.” She sighed and said, “Oh, Cherry, we’ve been into all this! Roly can’t help being allergic. Don’t be so selfish all the time.”

I don’t call it selfish wanting someone to keep their promise that they made you. I said, “If I can’t have what I want then I don’t want anything,” which Mum said was just cutting off my nose to spite my face. Whatever that is supposed to mean.