Something More (4 page)

“What happens now is entirely up to you, baby girl,” Noah said. “We can forget all about this, or we can admit that we have feelings for each other and see where it goes. Who knows, in two weeks you might get sick of the toilet seat being up every time you come over and decide that our glorious cocks just aren’t worth it.”

A laugh bubbled from my throat, and I was glad that Noah always seemed to know exactly what to say to defuse the tension. Had he not been a pastry chef, he would have made an excellent therapist.

After the laughing slowed, I began to really think about what they were proposing.
 

“Wait, so, are you saying we should all date? I mean, do we all three go out, or two of us at a time? Oh my God, is this like that show where we have a schedule and charts of who can sleep with whom on which day? I can’t do that. I can’t be that person.”

Before I’d even really allowed the possibility of what they were proposing to take hold, everything was muddled and sad again.

“Damn, Jonny was right, you really do work yourself into a tizzy up in that pretty head of yours, don’t you? Remember what I said? What happens is up to you. In my experience, I think the best thing to do would be to keep things mostly with the three of us. I want you, you want me, we both want Jonathan. Seems like a functional triad to me.”

Several minutes later, Noah had finished patiently explaining to me about the nearly infinite variations of what he called polyamorous relationships. My mind was completely blown.

“You know people who live this way?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “I’m sure you do, too, you just don’t realize it.”

“Have you two ever done this before?”

The question escaped from my mouth before I could stop it. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to know the answer. What if they had, and I was just another one of their shared girls?

“No,” Jonathan said. “Never. We’ve never both felt this way about someone, or found someone who fit so perfectly into our lives.”

There was so much unspoken in his words. I was full of hope…but worried. Was I willing to risk my friendship with them for the possibility of something more?

“I don’t know,” I almost whispered. “I need time to think.”

“Understandable.” Noah reached for my hand again. “Want to stay for a movie?”

He looked so happy, so relieved almost. Was it possible that he was glad I hadn’t flat out rejected them? Who in her right mind would? Why was I even taking so long to agree to a movie?

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” I smiled and took a deep breath. It felt like the first time I’d breathed in years, and my lungs burned with the effort. “Thank you,” I added. “For being so patient with me. And for wanting me. I’m…really…honored.”

They both laughed and rolled their eyes as we stood and walked into the living room. It was hard to believe these two intelligent men found something in me worth wanting to explore. Aside from my fine ass, I mean.

There was plenty of room on their couch, so I sat down in the middle while Noah put a movie on. I wanted to experience what being in the middle was like. When we were all settled, they both started touching me. The edges of our bodies touched, sure, but their hands were playing with mine or tracing invisible patterns on my legs. I’d never had so much attention focused my way, and although it made me a little nervous, it also excited me. When I pushed aside my worries, I could see so much potential with them.

About halfway through the movie, I curled my feet under my body, leaning closer to Jay, but bringing Noah with me. My legs fell asleep after a bit, so I shifted my position again, this time more reclined and curled on Jay’s chest as Noah mimicked the movement. It was comfortable, the three of us lying there. I was safe and warm and wrapped in happiness.

I must’ve fallen asleep, and I woke up when they were trying to carry me to their bed. It was hilarious to hear them whisper-yelling to each other about how to not drop me.

“Guys?” I croaked, not bothering to open my eyes. “How about you just let me walk?”

“Shit,” Jay said. “Sorry. We didn’t want to wake you up. You were so sound asleep, and you clearly need it.”

Miraculously, they managed to set me on my feet without dropping me.

“Now you’ve both said I look like shit,” I said, opening my eyes and pouting.

“No, sweetness. You just look tired. I don’t think it’s possible for you to look like shit,” Noah said, kissing my nose before taking my hand in his and leading me. “Come on.”

The sight of their bed and the memories of snuggling with Jonathan in it made me smile. I was glad that Noah would be with us this time, curious how we’d all fit, and how things would work, logistically. In the moonlight, the three of us stripped down to various states of undress. Once I climbed between the soft, cool sheets, I let out a deep sigh. “You guys have the best bed ever.”

They laughed, sliding in on either side of me, and before I had time to think about things too much, I was asleep again.

On the kitchen table, there were piles of bacon and Belgian waffles.
 

“Hey,” Jay interrupted his story about dating a woman. “She broke my heart. And if she hadn’t, nothing would have ever happened between us.”

Noah tilted his head to the side, conceding Jay’s point with a grin.

“We were just friends for a long time after that, though,” Noah said. “Poor Jon still wasn’t sure what to make of his attraction to me.”

“Give me a break. I’d never met such a smart, cute, funny guy before. I always assumed I’d meet a nice woman and settle down. And you were so out!”

Noah shrugged and grinned. “No point in delaying the inevitable.”

Watching them banter was adorable and made my heart squeeze. I wanted the chance to create memories with them, too. I wanted to be a part of this intimate circle of history.

“Have you ever been attracted to another woman?” Noah asked.

In that moment, I loved and hated that he had such a direct nature. He wasn’t being offensive by asking; he was exploring—and that was exactly what I wanted, but something about it made me cringe a little. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to talk about some parts of my past. It was so much easier to tuck them away and forget. It was impossible to deny those facets of me, though, when we were having such an open and honest discussion about sexuality and our pasts.

“Sure,” I said. “To me, attraction is fluid. Less about gender, more about characteristics.”

I hoped my vague answer would suffice, but no such luck.

“Juicy. What happened?” Jay asked, his eyes wide.
 

“She was firmly straight.” I sighed. “We were study partners at first, and then close friends for months after. I’d crushed on her the entire time. When I finally worked up the courage to kiss her and confess my feelings, she was polite about declining me, but things never went back to how they were. She was so guarded after that, and I regretted that I’d ruined such a close friendship by being selfish and wanting more.”

There were several beats of awkward silence before Noah grabbed a piece of bacon and threw it at me.
 

“Throwing your meat at our girl at the table?”

“Sometimes you just need another bite of bacon.”

I smiled at them, and while we finished eating, there were many flirty glances exchanged. In fact, they’d definitely ramped up the teasing. Long pulls of their forks from between their lips mixed with soft moans. I totally got into it, too. There was a rarely experienced openness between us, and it made me bold and daring. The robe I’d borrowed from them “accidentally” slipped off one shoulder when I reached down to pick an invisible speck of fuzz from the lower edge of the fabric.
 

Despite the hesitation I felt about putting myself out there again with a friend who I thought had potential for more, the pull between the three of us was stronger.
 

Standing up, I straddled then slid down on Noah’s lap. Our hips met awkwardly, his much larger than mine. My fingers teased at the back of his neck, playing with the trimmed hair there, then slid up into his lush curls as he kissed me. Everything about him seemed bigger and stronger. It wasn’t just lips meeting lips, but his lips possessing and leading mine. His hands were rough against my skin, but his touch was so light and gentle. I wanted more, harder.
 

I was so connected to him in that moment, our eyes looking deep into each other’s and our hands exploring freely. There was something missing, though, and I felt it as tangibly as I felt my heart beating. Turning my head to the left, I looked at Jay and smiled. Two of us together worked, but the three of us together were fireworks. We were something above and beyond, and I needed it again.
 

Jay stepped to my side, then lifted my camisole as I focused on Noah again. Once I was bare, they took turns lavishing attention on my breasts, Noah with his mouth and Jonathan with his hands. Being sandwiched between them ignited an intensity I hadn’t experienced. I was surrounded, loved, and sexy. Wanted.

After I took Noah’s shirt off, I explored his chest in a similar way, teasing him as I memorized the planes of his body. He could bake a wicked brownie, but it didn’t look like he ate many of them. I thought about licking chocolate syrup off his nipples, and both of them licking it off mine. I shifted my hips against his body and made a soft noise at the hardness pressed against me and the friction it provided. I hoped he could feel just how much I needed him, them, and that I was making them feel as wanted.

Noah’s mouth played at my ear, nipping the thin skin just beneath it. “Can we go back to the bedroom, Livvie?”

“Yeah. Yes. Of course.”

Clothes fell to the ground on the way, leaving a trail. I laughed when my panties flew into the pile with a pair of briefs and boxer briefs. We climbed on the bed, hands and lips and mouths and teeth meshing together and tangling. I was so overwhelmed that my eyes kept closing, but I immediately opened them again, not wanting to miss a single visual.

“How adventurous are you feeling?” Jay asked, lifting an eyebrow my direction.

“Um.” I wasn’t really sure, actually. I hadn’t given any further sexual interactions with them even a second thought; I’d been certain things had been over after the single night.
 
“A little?”

“It’s okay. We can take it slow,” Noah said, pushing me back on the bed. “But not too slow.”

He kissed my stomach, a part of my body I’d always hated, then nipped at the skin there before making his way lower. At my hips, he licked a long line from one side to the other. I squirmed under his attention, desperately needing more. Knotting my fingers in his curls, I pulled him up my body and he settled between my thighs.
 

Our lips met again and I adjusted my hips beneath his. Suddenly, Jay was by our side, his mouth and hands a welcome distraction. When I realized what he was doing, it made me shiver. His hand was at Noah’s cock, rolling a condom on, then stroking him. Jay carefully guided him between my legs and began to tease me with the head, sliding it up and over my clit. Back and forth, he drove me crazy. I closed my eyes and let my head tip back as I rested on my elbows, my whole body flaming with desire. I was on the verge of coming when Noah pushed his hips hard, entering me. There were fingers still touching me as Noah pulled back and thrust in again, and I came hard around him.

“Look at me,” Noah said.

My hips were almost out of my own control, pushing up to meet each thrust he gifted me with. I opened my eyes and watched his smiling face as he continued to fuck me exactly how I needed. When I tilted my head slightly, I saw Jay stroking himself on the bed next to us. As if to recapture my attention, Noah pushed harder, faster, and I yelped. It was amazing, and I couldn’t believe I was building to another orgasm. My back bowed, pushing my body out to reach closer to his in any way possible.

“Touch yourself.”

Lying flat on the bed, I brought one hand to do as Noah asked. I circled slowly, not wanting to bring our fun to an end anytime soon. Noah watched me intently, and then lowered his mouth to my breasts, his head bent in such a way that I couldn’t see what he was doing. I felt it, though; dear Lord did I feel it as he licked playfully then nipped with his teeth.

My fingers moved even slower, desperate to prolong the moment that was fast approaching, but it was useless. I pressed harder against my clit and Noah shifted, reaching deeper inside of me. All of the sensations, as well as the emotions, crashed over me, and I had to bite back a scream. He’d lifted his head again, and the feeling of his gaze on my body was intoxicating as he watched me come.

“Fuuuuuck.”

At his words, I moved my line of vision back to Noah’s face as he came, watching his expressions shift and morph. He was handsome as always, but there was an intensity to him, a vulnerability that I hadn’t seen before. Without giving it much thought, I lifted up and kissed his lips, needing to be connected with him in another way.

His arms surrounded me, and it seemed like just the two of us in that moment, a strange separation surrounding our intimacy. A troubling thought entered my brain, seeing Jonathan as merely a spectator while Noah and I connected on every level. I worried it wasn’t okay, that Jonathan would feel left out, but after a few moments, we pulled apart and he was there, smiling at us and not-so-patiently waiting for his turn.
 

“I wanna watch,” I said, completely unaware of the thought before I spoke it.

“Watch and learn, sweet thing.” Noah pulled back, shifting from my body to Jonathan’s as he winked at me. “Although you two are going to be the death of me. An old man can’t keep this pace.”

We all laughed; I knew Noah to be few years older than Jonathan, but a few years weren’t a huge deal.

“You better start training,” I said, stretching my limbs. “I have a feeling this is just the beginning.”

Noah was already between Jay’s thighs, peppering kisses along the skin at the juncture where they met his body. “I hope so.”