Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I've Lost My Damn Mind: A Manic's Mood Chart

BOOK: Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I've Lost My Damn Mind: A Manic's Mood Chart
13.29Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

 

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW, I’VE LOST MY DAMN MIND

A Manic’s Mood Chart

 

A Memoir

by

Derek Thompson

 

 

 

For my family

 

 

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I’ve Lost My Damn Mind

Table of Contents

 

Introduction

 

Mood Chart

 

Glossary
de
Slang

 

Depressed Section

 

Violet

 

Indigo

 

Blue

 

Normal Section (Green)

 

Elevated Section

 

Yellow

 

Orange

 

Red

 

Conclusion

 

INTRODUCTION

Session

DT: I’ve structured this nontraditional memoir into a mood chart comprised of blog entries written about the past three years of my bipolar life. I have bipolar disorder type I and am one of a lucky few to also suffer psychotic manic episodes; yeah and you thought you were having a bad day. One of the common treatment methods for this is to keep a mood chart. Seeing how probably 95 percent of the public have no idea what a mood chart is, or any other bipolar medical term for that matter, I’ve invited Dr. John-Paul Heathrow to join us and offer his expertise in these sessions throughout the book. Dr. John-Paul Heathrow--

JP: JP.

DT: Oh, sorry. Dr. J--

JP:
Just
JP.

DT: Ok
just
JP, how about you give us a little background about yourself and then help us out on an explanation of a mood chart?

JP: Oh, of course. I attended a superior academic institution where I received my post-doctorate in psychiatric research studies. My thesis examined the relationships between manic episode symptoms of bipolar disorder and spiritual emergency experiences to find any trends, commonalities or similarities that may exist. And I also want to make it clear from the get go that this relationship of ours must remain purely professional and platonic throughout the book, Derek Lee.

DT: Ha-ha. First off, I don’t even want to know how you
already
got my middle name. And secondly, there shouldn’t be too much of a problem with our relationship status, JP, because I woke up this morning still straight. So about that mood chart description?

JP: Very good, I’m glad we’re on the same page. Let’s see now, well, mood charts are intended to provide people with a simple way to monitor their bipolar disorder.
Mood charting allows users to bring together important pieces of information such as mood state, medication levels, and stressful events. Recording this information on a chart generates a simple graph on which you can see emerging patterns that otherwise might be difficult to identify. Mood charting is a good way to record events and will help users report their mood to their doctor more efficiently.

These charts typically contain three states of mood: Depressed, Normal and Elevated. There also will be mild, moderate and severe levels of intensity within the Depressed and Elevated mood levels, while the Normal level will remain constant. Many charts represent the different moods with the colors of the rainbow, starting with violet as severely depressed and ascending to red as severely elevated.

DT: Thanks for that, JP. Obviously, I’m quite familiar with these “tools” of treating BMD
1
and unfortunately have not had much success with them in the past. But “I’ve never quit anything in my life except for Chinese calligraphy, my Theses 2, Kangaroo Anatomy, Toe Photography, Booger sculpture and masturbation; well, maybe not masturbation, but give me a break, it’s the only thing I’m good at.--”

JP: Wait a tick. Isn’t that quote from
Bio-Dome
?

DT: Why yes it is and I must say I’m already thoroughly impressed with ya JP. We’re going to get along great. But back to my original point which is why I refuse to quit on mood charts, which brings us to
Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I’ve Lost My Damn Mind: A Manic’s
Mo
od Chart
.

This book doesn’t really have a linear storyline that’s organized through chapters; nope, none of that traditional memoir shit here. Instead, the book is broken up into the three sections of a mood chart: Depressed, Normal and Elevated. The Normal section is constant and will be represented by the color green; while within the Depressed and Elevated sections, there will be three intensity levels of mild, moderate and severe, with three corresponding colors of the rainbow representing those moods/entries. The colors will start at violet for severely depressed, ascending up through the rainbow to red for severely elevated. You know what? If this is starting to get a little confusing, please see the next page and the table titled “Manic’s Mood Chart.” Oh, and you’ll also be able to find the transcripts from my sessions with JP after each entry, similar to this first one you’re reading now. Last but not least, this nontraditional memoir is also not organized in chronological order with a beginning, middle and end--

JP: Thankfully. That’s
so
been done before.

DT: Ha-ha, exactly. JP knows what I’m talking about. So basically, what that means is that you can read the book from beginning to end, or feel free to flip through it and read the entries in any order you’d like. I hope you enjoy the ride.

 

Glossary
de
Slang

#truestory#fact#honesty
: Follow me on twitter @e4d01rok (sometimes I say funny shit).

 

A

 

A-Town
: The Durty Durty, Hotlanta, the ATL, or Atlanta, Georgia.

AT&Tizzle
: AT&T (derr).

Atroxtheatrophobia:
I made this word up to mean a fear of scary movies. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.

Awesomeville
: “
Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Awesomeville.”
–Some may think this place is Aspen from the
Dumb and Dumber
quote, but it’s not.

 

B

 

Big Body Beamer
: Black BMW X5 with 20s (Naw, they were 18s but I kept ‘em clean!- Totally ganked that from Day-Day in
Next Friday
).

Big D
: Depression

BMD
: Bipolar Manic Depression

Boob tube
:
Baby-sitter, box,
 
idiot box
, receiver, small screen, telly, tube, TV, TV set

Boot
: “
I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she’s yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.”
 
–Wayne Campbell,
Wayne’s World

Brit
: What I call Britney Spears. Oh, you didn’t know we were on a nickname basis? Neither does she.

Browntown
: Springtucky, The Field, or Springfield, Ohio. Recently named the third worst city to live in
The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index; so they got that going for them, which is nice-I once saw Bill Murray in a bar, he’s tall and this is also his quote from
Caddy Shack
.

BTW
: By the way. Really, you didn’t know this one? My grandma texted me this yesterday.

 

C

 

Chubs
: 103 years and counting!!!! Yeah I’m talking to you Cubbies and your World Series drought, ha-ha.

Cord snakes
: I really, really hate snakes so of course I hallucinated that power cords in my apartment were snakes when I was manic (trippy).


Cornfield locked”
: Similar to landlocked except with a shit ton of corn around you

Other books

A Death in the Family by Michael Stanley
Wait Till Next Year: A Memoir by Doris Kearns Goodwin
Saint's Getaway by Leslie Charteris
It Chooses You by Miranda July
Loud Awake and Lost by Adele Griffin
Génesis by Bernard Beckett
A Calculating Heart by Caro Fraser
Time for Jas by Natasha Farrant
Sons of the Oak by David Farland