Soothing His Madness (3 page)

Chapter Five

The news of
Lagsturns Motorcycle Club and Los Li, a gang linked to the Mexican Mafia,
heading toward Pitnam further complicated Slade's life. He leaned against the
outside brick wall of Cactus Cove, waiting for Taylor, and peered into the
distance. This was his town.

Born and raised in
Pitnam, he worked hard alongside the Bantorus men to keep trouble away from
their families and community. He closed his eyes. Maybe the judge was right and
he wasn't a fit father.

He'd done everything
he thought possible. He gave Lee and Kurt a safe place to grow up, a community that
cared about everyone living in the small town and looked out for each other,
and enough rules to keep the boys real without stifling them. What they lacked
was a mother.

For all Jodie's
good intentions and promises, she still ran around wild the way she did back
when she was twenty and newly married to Slade. Her lack of self-esteem drove
her to seek attention anywhere she could find it, which caused her to put the
boys second in her life, maybe third.

The judge's
decision to give his kids to his ex-wife supported some bullshit study that
children under the age of twelve were better off with their mothers, but Jodie
wasn't the typical mom. He opened his eyes and spit on the ground. He wasn't a
normal father with a nine to five job and golf on the weekends either.

He was a biker.
Plain and simple.

He supported his
freedom, his country, and believed only in black and white, never gray.

His chest tightened
and he blew out his cheeks, letting the air out slowly to help calm him down.
Most of all, he believed in justice, and he wasn't afraid of taking that
responsibility on himself.

Jodie and Ray did
not deserve to be active participants in his kids' lives.

He'd given Jodie
enough time to learn how to be a responsible parent. She failed, but most of
all she'd disappointed Lee and Kurt.

Some women were not
cut out to be mothers. He groaned and tapped the back of his head against the brick
wall. Then there were women like Taylor.

His head pounded at
the primal longing that came over him when he walked into the bar and Taylor
held Lilly. She'd make a wonderful mom, a deserving mom, an unselfish mother.
It wasn't the first time that thought entered his head and wouldn't let go.

He'd witnessed his
boys come alive while around her. They soaked up her positive influence and
walked away a better young man for knowing her. They longed for a softer touch
and feminine approval that he couldn't provide as their father.

Fuck, he loved his
kids and wanted the best for them. Taylor was the one he wanted raising his
boys.

The door swung open
and Taylor peered around for him. He took the moment to study her without alerting
her to his presence. It mattered little about what was going on in his life. He
still wanted her. He still fed off having her near. He still wanted to kick the
world's ass to give her everything.

"Hey," he
said.

She turned and
smiled before losing the radiance his actions the other day had stolen from
her. He'd hurt her, and that was on his back to carry around.

"Hey,
you." She moved in beside him and leaned against the wall, looking out
over the parking lot.

He wanted to tell
her where his head was at and have her accept the reasons he had for pushing
her away. Explaining his feelings with words was a foreign concept to him. He
could show her what mood he was in with sex, and she'd figure out if he were
angry, lonely, or enjoying himself. But how could he explain that his heart was
breaking?

He cleared his
throat. "I don't—"

"Wait."
She inhaled deeply and sighed. "Can we just stand here and not talk for a
few minutes?"

He nodded, though
she wasn't looking. He understood why she wanted to hold off talking. It was
probably for the same reason he couldn't force himself to stay away from her.
He'd tried to keep his distance, swore every night for the past year not to
ride over to her house and crawl into her bed.

She was an
addiction he couldn't break, and she'd always welcomed him without any
questions or demands. Even now, he fought with himself. He was incomplete
without her. It was natural for him to want to take care of her, love her, and
be with her.

Hell, the last two
days, he'd picked up his cell phone, who knows how many times, and almost
pushed her number anytime he had a thought and wanted to share it with her. At
night, he laid wide-awake wishing he were lying in her bed. He missed her with
the same veracity he missed his kids, and when something was that deep, that
painful, he knew he'd made the wrong decision to push her away.

Whether it was the
biggest mistake of his life or not, he wasn't letting her go.

She slipped her
fingers into his hand. His body vibrated. One small show of affection and he
wanted her up against the wall with her panties around her ankles. Not for his relief
because he hadn't had sex for a week, but because this was Taylor and when they
were together, she made his world brighter.

Her quiet strength
took him to his knees.

"Fucked up, baby
girl," he said.

"Yeah." She
squeezed his hand. "I should bitch you out for even thinking of leaving me,
but—"

"You
won't." He tugged her over until she faced him, then he pulled her against
the length of his body. "Later you can act like my old lady. Right now, I
only want to taste you. Feels like I'm losing my head without you."

She tilted her chin.
He lowered his mouth. The instant they connected, he knew he wasn't going to be
satisfied with only tasting a sample. She trembled against him, kissing him
back. Using his lips, he opened her mouth. Her warmth, her familiar, indescribable
taste, coupled with her response had his cock hard and aching. He widened his
stance, pulling her closer and sank his fingers deep into her hair, holding her
perfectly still while he worked her mouth.

He swept his tongue
across hers, eliciting a groan from her. Like a starving man, he kept his lips
sealed against hers, sucking, exploring, dancing. He lowered his hands and
cupped her ass, pressing his hardness against her, trying to appease the need
to be inside of her.

Slade sucked in his
breath. There was vulnerability about Taylor that only came out when she let
herself stop thinking and start feeling. That deep connection and desire she
gave him, had him falling more in love with her.

She moved her mouth
and kissed his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. He groaned at the loss of her
lips and encouraged her to go down. Down and wrap her lips around his dick.

"Jesus, get a
room." Ronny walked behind them and sat on his motorcycle.

Slade flipped him
the middle finger. For the first time in days, he could breathe. This was his
life.

The club, his
woman, and…

He hooked Taylor's
neck, bringing her attention back to him, wanting to selfishly keep everything
that was his. He owned her. "Come home with me."

"Your
house?" Her brows rose. "Don't you want to go to mine?"

He shook his head. "It's
time."

Now that he'd made
up his mind, he wasn't giving her a chance to argue with him. He took her hand
and led her over to her car. Once her door was unlocked, he ushered her inside
and closed her inside the vehicle.

He was done playing
the pushover. He'd get everything he wanted back, and if he had to kill anyone
who tried to stop him from keeping what was his, he would. He was done fucking
around, playing by the rules, and letting other people dictate his life.

Taylor started the
engine and put her window down. "Are you positive?"

"Yeah."
He leaned down and braced his forearms in the opened window. "I'm done
letting Jodie and Ray rule my life. You and me…we're out. Not going to hide you
no more. You're my old lady. My boys will be back Friday night, and I want you
there with us. Ain't shitting around anymore. If they want to fight me, I'll
show them who I really am."

She stared at him
and then a big grin, aimed at him, gave him the boost he needed. "About
damn time, honey."

Rejuvenated and
positive he'd get his family back together—it might not be this weekend, but
it'd be soon—he stepped away from the car and found himself grinning back.
"Get going. I'll follow you to the intersection and then lead the
way."

"Okay." She
shifted the car into first.

"Hey." He
stopped her. "When we get there, I want your ass naked and on my
bed."

She laughed.
"I've never been inside your house. Won't you show me around first?"

"Hell,
no." He walked backward to his bike. "It's a house and nothing
special. You're my woman. You'll make it a home."

He turned around
and jogged the rest of the way to his Harley Davidson. There was no time to put
off getting his life straightened out. If Rain was right and the Lagsturns were
meeting Los Li in Pitnam territory, he wanted everyone he cared about under his
watch.

Chapter Six

The mattress
springs on Slade's bed squeaked. Taylor moved up and down on top of Slade, her
hands braced on his chest. Strands of her hair stuck to the corner of her mouth
as she panted. The noise from the bed matched the urgency of her movements.

His fingers were
doing crazy things between her legs as she plunged down on his length. She
moaned as her body tightened in pleasure.

"That's it, baby
girl," Slade murmured.

His eyelids half
covered his eyes and he gazed heatedly at where their body joined. The desire
on his face had her insides quivering, straining, reaching for her orgasm. Each
stroke of his cock tightened her core muscles, warming them, until she dug her
fingernails into his chest and let herself go.

Her back arched.
Her knees landed on the mattress, producing another squeak from the bed. She
stifled a scream of approval. Slade gripped her hips, holding her in place as
his hips bucked underneath her and he grunted in male release. She gasped for
breath, her upper body pitched forward and she lay flat on Slade. Wonderful
quivers of pleasure rocked her body.

The orgasm, one of
the strongest after going a week without so much as a flicker of sexual desire,
had turned her into a pile of mush. She lay her head down in the crook of
Slade's neck and sighed. If she had any strength left in her body, she'd climb
off him, but she was too tired and relaxed. She molded around him, reminded of
how much Slade completed her. Her constant need was at an unhealthy level.

She smiled. If
loving Slade was bad, she wanted to be really bad.

He shifted
underneath her, and the bed squeaked. She turned her face into his chest,
laughing softly.

His chest rumbled
against her cheek. "Damn. I need a new bed if you're going to be in it
with me. Never noticed how much noise it makes before."

She lifted her head
and arched her brows in feigned surprise. "Really?"

"Bitch."
He slapped her bare ass, but his lips twitched in amusement. "You know I
never took women home, around my kids, before I met you."

She heaved herself
off him, disconnecting from his body. "Trust me. I remember."

Slade sat up,
kissed the side of her forehead, and left the bed to get rid of the used
condom. She sat on the edge of the mattress. Prior to getting together with him,
she'd watched him play with all the women who hung out on open club nights. At
the time, she thought he was a slut like all the other men, but it wasn't until
they'd hooked up together she noticed the difference in how he treated her
versus the other women.

She'd never seen
him look at them the way he did with her. If they were in the same room, his
eyes were on her. They spoke to her. They caressed her.

She shook her head
in pity. God, she sounded like a sixteen year old with visions of forever.

To distract her
thoughts and because it was now daylight, she wandered around Slade's room,
looking at his stuff. She hadn't seen a thing last night when he'd taken her
into the house and directly to his bed.

Besides a beat up
dresser that needed re-stained and the set of mattresses sitting on a few
cinder blocks, the only thing hinting at a real bedroom were the photos tacked
to the wall above the dresser. She stepped over and took a closer look.

There were many
shots of Kurt riding his dirt bike, Lee sticking his tongue out for the camera
and photo bombing the pictures of Slade's Harley. There were even photos of Slade
smashed in between his two boys, which he must've taken with his cell phone
because the top of his head was cut off in his attempt to get his family in one
shot. She straightened one of the pictures, and caught sight of more photos at the
MC get-togethers. She peered closer. Her chest warmed and she smiled.

Her face was in a
majority of his collection, and she wasn't even the MC's property. Her association
came from working at Cactus Cove.

"Hey."
Slade stepped up beside her. "I left the shower on."

She pointed.
"You took my picture. A lot of them."

He wrapped his arms
around her waist from behind and spoke into her ear. "I wanted you here in
this room. Now you're here."

She melted.
"That's nice of you to say."

"Truth, baby
girl," he said.

"About
that…" She turned in his arms. "I can't stay. The boys are coming
tonight."

He kissed her lips.
It wasn't the soft, sweet kiss she expected. It was passionate, intense, and
possessive. And, totally confused her.

"I want my
boys to see you here. I want them to know that from now on, you're mine,"
he said. "I need you, and Lee and Kurt need you right now."

"Okay."
She agreed too eagerly.

His show of going
forward was what she'd always wanted and dreamed about as she sat home waiting
for him to slip in her house and spend time with her. She stepped away, needing
to think about all the big changes he suggested. "I'll go shower."

She hurried into
the bathroom, shut the door, and sucked in huge gulps of air. Lightheaded and
caught between a total freak out and the happiest she'd ever been, she bent at
the waist to take it all in.

Slade claimed her. They
were out. Everyone would know about them—really know about them. Sure, all
their friends and club members had guessed and speculated about what was going
on between them, but it was real this time. She no longer had to refrain from
touching him in public or be afraid of letting something slip.

The Bantorus MC was
her family. The other women were her sisters. She covered her mouth and muffled
her scream. On the other side of the door, Slade chuckled. She whirled around,
cracking the door open and peeked out into the bedroom.

Slade stood there, bare
chested, his Levi's unbuttoned, looking hardcore badass, except for the grin.
"Get dressed, baby girl. We need to go make it official."

She nodded,
shutting the door with a bang, and jumped into the shower. This was what she
wanted. No longer would she have to stand outside the circle of the MC family
and wish she were one of them. She scrubbed her hair, rinsed, and washed her
body. Slade, the kids, the life, were finally hers.

She pulled the
towel down from the shower rod and wrapped herself. Her stomach quivered, and
it dawned on her that any other time she would've been shouting the news. Her
smile fell away, and she stared down at her feet. It was happening too fast.

As much as she
wanted to celebrate the moment, Slade's decision came after a life altering
moment in his life. He'd walked out on her and their relationship four days
ago.

His life had become
an emotional rollercoaster, and she was along for the ride. She walked out of
the bathroom. Slade was gone from the room, and she quickly dressed in the
clothes she'd worn to work yesterday.

At the door of his bedroom,
she entered the hallway and a house she'd never been inside before now. She had
no idea where his kitchen was or if she should make herself at home.

She approached an
open doorway and stopped. Her heart squeezed. Slade stood inside the room,
holding a child's navy sweatshirt to his face. She glanced away and took in the
motocross posters, the stuffed animals, the Legos scattered in the corner. She
grabbed the doorframe. The sense of loss Slade was going through left her legs
weak. She couldn't even imagine what was going through his head right now.

He mourned his
boys.

He had a lot to
work through, and even though she wasn't getting her happily ever after and she
worried about what would happen when Slade's home life worked itself out, she
knew she'd selfishly go along with his plan to become a family, because Slade
was it for her.

Hopefully over
time, he'd see her for the person she wanted to be in his life, and not an
answer to fixing his world. Because even though she loved him and his boys, she
was afraid there wouldn't be a place in his life for her when he discovered she
couldn't fix a broken family.