Soul Love (22 page)

I couldn’t bear that thought. No. I knew he loved me. Cleo’s latest illness had shaken him up and he had decided to do the noble thing by me – and Cleo. He was going to keep
his promise to his mother and stand by Cleo and support her through a difficult time. He was probably trying to do what he thought was the right thing by me in leaving me. Maybe we both needed some
more growing-up time.

I loved him even more for that. He was taking responsibility for someone and keeping a promise that he had made. It was a promise that needed to be kept. Not like the kind of promises that
people like Mia held you to. Or the shallow promises that people like Kai made and broke every few seconds.

What sort of relationship could we have in the future if he didn’t support Cleo now? I would just have to learn to deal with the pain of being apart from someone that I loved.

But there was just one last thing to do.

Let Gabriel know how much I loved him.

Chapter Forty-Three

A
s soon as we walked out on to the stage a camera began snapping and flashing at us like we were superstars. It
didn’t matter that it was only Julius.

Ava waved at us from the front row. ‘Yoohoo!’

Mum was sitting next to her (Muriel had agreed to babysit Marcus). Even Sarah was there. Thankfully there was no sign of Kai.

I’d like to say we were wonderful, but we were patchy with some good bits.

That’s the good thing about anti-folk music. It’s not about being slick, it’s about communicating. At least that’s what Charlie was always banging on about. Gabe was a
little off the beat from time to time and my eyes were puffy and my voice was shaky.

Lyle was getting all twitchy as he stood in the wings surrounded by his people.

I walked centre stage and said, ‘I know Lyle is itching to get on and you’re dying to see him, but I’d just like to do one more song. It’s called “Because the
Night”, and the person it is dedicated to knows who they he is.’

I caught the band on the hop. Freddie was already offstage, so I just began to sing. As I sang I rolled all my feelings in my stomach into a ball of emotion and then let them out. I forgot about
the audience. I just let rip.

I wanted Gabe to know how much he meant to me.

When I finished singing there was a pause.

I’ve made a right fool of myself, I thought as I felt myself shrinking.

Then Gabe grabbed me and kissed me onstage in front of everyone.

There was a loud cheer. The camera flashed. Even Lyle walked on stage to bathe in some of our glory.

I held on to Gabe. There was nothing left to say. All I could do was hold on to him for one last time. It didn’t matter that there were hundreds of people watching me.

That kiss was going to have to last me for a long time.

Epilogue

M
um thought I was crazy when I asked for a telescope for Christmas and the neighbours probably think I’m a
pervert when they see me stargazing. But this is London and no one says anything.

I completely agree with Plato. Astronomy
does
compel us to look upwards and towards another world. I love the night sky. Looking upwards raises your spirits. I always feel more hopeful
when I’m looking at the stars.

Even in London, on a clear night, you can see stars. There are so many constellations with fantastic names like Ursa Major, Corona Borealis and Aquila.

I managed eventually, after a lot of squinting and false starts, to find Cassiopeia.

I wish more people would understand that there is no time limit on growing up. Some people can be mature at sixteen and some people act like spoiled children all of their lives. Kai and Sarah
were supposed to be the adults, but look how they behaved.

There’s also no age limit for finding your true love. Just because I was fifteen when I met Gabe it doesn’t mean that our feelings weren’t real or that we couldn’t do the
right thing – no matter how much it hurt.

Loving Gabe taught me so much. To learn from my mistakes and to forgive the mistakes that other people have made. I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in and don’t feel the
need to follow the crowd. I’m not a background person any more.

When I look at the night sky I feel close to Gabriel.

Tonight I feel especially close to him because I know that, wherever he is, he’s looking at Cassiopeia and he’s thinking of me.

Acknowledgements

With thanks to Alishia for listening to this story and giving me great advice and support. To James for introducing me to anti-folk music and to The BaSe and TEEN SPIRIT at Body
& Soul.