Sound of the Tide (14 page)

E
VERY
S
INGLE
D
AY

March

T
he next weeks passed in the blink of an eye. In my attempt to find my feet as a single mother I lost all sense of space and time. My nights were short—and nerve-racking. Amber didn’t cry much, but the smallest sound coming from her would rouse me from my sleep. I would then be awake for hours, thinking abou
t . . .
Kevin. I missed him, and I knew that I alone was to blame for his not being here. That knowledge sapped my last ounce of energy.

My days consisted of heating baby bottles, changing diapers, trying to catch up on the sleep that was denied to me during the night, and taking long walks with Amber in her stroller. The walks helped with the fatigue, but they couldn’t get rid of the cobwebs in my head. Having my parents around was easier to deal with than I thought it would be, and I was glad to know Amber was in good hands when I finally fell asleep on the couch after an exhausting day.

But the stress and strain of my new life situation had its advantages, too. I lost the baby weight pretty quickly and, even though things weren’t as taut and tight as before my pregnancy—not by a long shot—I started feeling more comfortable in my own skin.

At least the parts I could see from above looked quite passable to me. Well, I
assumed
they looked okay, given that I hadn’t done the mirror test yet—and I wouldn’t do that anytime soon either. I was more than a little worried that my secondary sex characteristics might have traveled too far south, and I was almost glad that no man would get to see me anytime soon.

In order to counteract the consequences of gravity upon weakened connective tissue, I allowed Mom to talk me into yoga at the Country Club—she only meant well, after all.

However, already during the first lesson I realized that my inner center (if in fact it ever existed) had shifted during pregnancy, or perhaps been eliminated altogether. I was not in good enough shape yet to sync up my sun salutation with my breathing. Deep down in my heart, I guess, I wasn’t spiritual enough to salute the sun—breathing or no breathing.

Even Mom in her pink yoga attire, which looked as if she had stolen it from a twenty-year-old, cut a better figure doing downward facing dog than I did.

Every goddamn muscle and tendon ached in the days after class. Apparently, my body and I were at war, and with every sleep-deprived night I seemed to lose another battle.

I wished Daniel were here massaging my back. I wished I could feel his hands on my shoulders and hand him our daughter, just so I could take a break. As I was thinking about this, I remembered Kevin taking her from me shortly after delivery, just so I could have a moment to myself.

I looked down at Amber, who was lying in her crib and sucking her thumb. Her regular breathing made me feel tired, and I tried to calm my thoughts and relax my body, as I so often did, but instead all I could see was the image of Kevin rising up before my mind’s eye. Kevin and Amber. Kev, who had cried when she was born.

In my exhausted state I wondered how I could have ever let him go. Didn’t I at least owe it to Amber to allow a man into my life and give her a chance of having a father?

Would Kevin be a good dad? Truth be told, I didn’t need to wonder about that, because I had known the answer for years.

“Hey, babe, check Smokey out!” Daniel had said, as he strolled over and pointed toward his best friend. We were standing off to the side and could barely make Kevin out among the cluster of little boys crowding around him. His helmet was all but swallowing a tiny tot next to him, while the rest of the boys surrounded him, straining their little necks and chattering excitedly. He was aiming his fire hose at a miniature house that had been set up as a stage set, with empty soda cans placed in the miniature windows. The goal was to hit as many as possible.

“They like him,” I said, not the least bit surprised.

“You know that Smokey even saves bunny rabbits from burning buildings. Maybe he has a peanut butter and jelly sandwich hidden in one of his pockets, which attracts them like flies,” Daniel joked, putting in his mouth one of the cookies that I had baked for today, the fire department’s kids’ day.

“For sure! That’s probably it, but don’t let him hear you talk about bunny rabbits. I think he’s quite sensitive about that,” I reminded Daniel, stepping closer.

“So where do you keep
your
peanut butter and jelly sandwich?” I asked, licking my lips. “Or did you use something else to attract me?”

And then I led him away and kissed him in a way that was far too grown-up for a fire department’s kids’ day.

“Piper Colby, you are one hot piece of ass,” Daniel whispered into my ear, and I was suddenly flushed with heat. “Think of the children!” he warned, and yet he discreetly slipped his hand under my shirt.

I chuckled. “They can’t see us anymore! But if we don’t stop, we might have children of our own before you know it.”

“Not a bad idea, babe, but I need to conserve my energy. I have to work the obstacle course today with the whole gang,” he said with regret in his voice, without taking his hands off me.

“
Hmmm
,” I purred, arching into his fingers as he was caressing the small of my back. “I had no idea your strength and energy could be exhausted so quickly. Given your age, I mean. Maybe I should
. . .
”

His kisses on my neck made me lose my train of thought.

“Maybe you should what?” he inquired, as his tongue wandered from my throat farther down.

“Maybe I should try to find myself a younger man.”

He playfully bit my breast through the fabric of my shirt and pulled me closer.

“Very well. It seems I’m going to have to demonstrate my strength and stamina to you tonight. Then we’ll see if you still want a younger man.”

Sure, I could have admitted that his kiss alone had already convinced me I had the perfect guy by my side. But I didn’t—because his dare was simply too tempting to pass up.

“All right, crazy pants, I accept your offer,” I whispered and pulled free from his fingers, wondering how on earth he had managed to open my bra without me noticing. I tried to fix my clothes without attracting too much attention, while Daniel jogged back over to Kevin with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

The swarm of kids briefly parted for him, like the Red Sea for Moses, only to close behind him and swallow him whole.

It was lovely to see the two men interact with the children. There were lots of giggles when Daniel and Kevin used a life net to throw kids high up in the air and catch them again, or when they let them examine every single button and lever inside the fire truck, even sound the siren. They let the braver kids slide down the station house’s fire pole, and everyone was highly focused when they used thermal imaging cameras to check the area around the fire station for possible hot spots.

Lost in thought I ate half my homemade cookies myself, and enjoyed the pleasantly mild day.

A little while later, a cheerful Kevin came over.

He leaned against my table and handed me a picture from one of the thermal imaging cameras. It showed a yellow-and-red human before a green-and-blue background.

“Who’s that?”

“It’s you. See how hot you are?” he asked, and I slapped his arm.

“Ha-ha. You’re an evil stalker, Kev. Why would you take such pictures of me?”

He smirked.

“First of all, I didn’t take the picture; little Stevie over there did. And second of all, this is my job, Piper. Stevie was right, you know. You are definitely the greatest fire hazard around. I better keep my eye on you!”

I grabbed the picture and offered him a cookie in exchange.

“Where’s Daniel?”

“Getting ready. Things are going to get crazy in a minute.”

As if on cue, the fire station’s gates opened, and Daniel’s grand performance started.

Marching ahead of the children, he looked like a king before his entourage or a commander before his troops. He had discarded his uniform jacket and was only wearing a T-shirt, like a firefighter in one of those sexy calendars. All chest and shoulders, he walked across the stage with a confident swagger, and the firefighter suspenders against his muscular torso seemed to scream that he was offering exactly what the desperate mommies were craving.”

He winked at me, and I blushed. Fortunately, nobody was able to read my thoughts because they were definitely not PG-13.

But it only got worse from there. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed some of the moms fanning themselves and staring as if lost in a sexy reverie.

They could count themselves lucky that I wasn’t the jealous type and only felt the urge to scratch their eyes out rather than kill them outright.

“The other guys will be making the rounds to collect money for the youth outreach program,” Kevin said, explaining my sweetheart’s semiprovocative attire.

“Great! I’m keeping every dollar bill I find in his boxers!” I warned him, but without taking my eyes off Daniel.

He was rolling his shoulders as if warming up for exercise, and he motioned for the kids on stage with him to follow suit. Taking a good look at the moms, he raised his eyebrows before doing a deep front lunge in order to stretch his leg muscles. His tight butt inside his uniform pants was pure temptation, and I gasped for air.

Kevin nudged me in the side.

“Don’t forget to breathe, Piper, because he won’t have time to resuscitate you if you keel over. In which case you would have to make do with mouth-to-mouth from me!”

“Why’s he even doing that?” I asked, pointing at Daniel’s coworkers, who seemed to be having a great laugh at his expense.

“He got the short straw.”

I pressed my lips together tightly and, a little miffed, kept watching Daniel’s performance.

Since he was now warmed up and, as far as I was concerned, had flaunted his muscles sufficiently for everyone to see, the actual exercise was ready to start. Daniel explained to the kids how to overcome the first obstacle, a stack of planks. For that, he pulled himself up like Tarzan on a vine, elegantly swinging a leg over the top of the planks as if they were a stallion he was able to command by the sheer power of his thighs alone.

The ladies all around me appeared to contemplate whether they preferred to be this Tarzan’s Jane or the imaginary stallion.

Next, he balanced his way across a tree trunk with great ease and moved hand over hand above a water tank, all the while showcasing his upper arms to the max. But I remembered from the previous year that the highlight was still to come!

“Oh, give me a break!” I begged and saw the moms drooling already. Kevin laughed and grabbed my hand, as if I were in need of assistance.

“Do you want me to save you? Or him? I guess it kind of depends on how you look at it.”

I had no idea what he meant, but I nodded all the same. If I didn’t want to turn into a jealous murderess, something needed to happen!

Kevin handed me his helmet, blew me a kiss, and ran toward Daniel, taking off his uniform jacket as he went.

He gave Daniel an amicable slap on the shoulder and solemnly bowed to the kids, but bowed especially deeply to the moms. He laughed at me and, without a moment’s hesitation, threw himself down into the mud and started crawling underneath planks and ropes.

The kids cheered, barely able to contain themselves until they, too, would be allowed to get dirty from head to toe. Daniel had joined his coworkers, and they all taunted Kevin, who was now covered all over in mud. Somewhere behind me, one of the frustrated suburban housewives wolf whistled, and—to be perfectly honest—I couldn’t blame her.

Christ, even though the love of my life was standing only a few yards away, I couldn’t take my eyes off Kevin. His broad, muscular chest was now wet and muddy and screaming for a shower. A shower at least half the women present would love to share with him.

Kevin had always been nice to look at. But when we were younger and I was much more preoccupied with that sort of thing, his body had not held half its current energy and strength for me. He hadn’t yet matured into the man who was now lifting his T-shirt to wipe the muck off his face right before my marveling eyes. His glorious, exposed abs made the horny mommas really lose their shit.

He looked over, and the blood rushed to my cheeks. Goodness gracious, in that moment he definitely knew that he was turning me on as well as all the other women.

Considering how much the female visitors were gasping, I figured the fire department’s youth outreach program would raise a nice amount this time—some of them were actually pretty close to needing rescue breathing.

Quickly I turned around and started packing away my cookies. The festival had reached its glorious peak. The kids had found a new hero, and the moms a man they could dream about all year while washing the dishes and doing the laundry.

When Daniel wrapped his arm around my waist, I winced, conscience-stricken.

“Follow me, babe,” he murmured into my ear, pulling me with him behind the car.