wrong when Hector and Jason joined them.
Your moms here, Jason told Lucas, who nodded as though he
was expecting her.
Whats wrong? Helen asked.
Nothing. Were meeting with the principal because my mom is
going to try and talk our way back on to the football team, Lucas
explained.
Shes playing the have pity on a poor little woman raising so
many gigantic boys card and then shell beg them to let us beat up
kids from other schools instead of each other. All to the benefit of
Nantucket High, of course, Jason said with a grin. It never fails.
Shes like the Einstein of guilt.
But should you three be allowed to play football? Helen said
with a disapproving frown. I mean, you all have an unfair
advantage.
Keep talking, track star, Hector replied with a little heat.
Helen runs because she needs a scholarship for college, Lucas
said, shooting Hector a warning glance. We play sports because
its expected of us. Its annoying, actually, because we have to pretend
to be unbearably weak and slow.
And we spend as much time making sure no one gets hurt as we
do playing, added Jason with a rueful smile. The truth is wed
much rather be beating each other up than pretending to beat up
mortals, but that wouldnt look normal at all.
Well, good luck on the whole looking-normal thing, Helen said
briskly, stepping aside to let Jason and Hector go past her.
Ill find you after school, Lucas promised her as he followed his
cousins. He glanced back and gave her a concerned look. Helen
tried to smile for him, but her expression was so phony she
wondered if Lucas could feel the lie in it.
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Helen slouched into the cafeteria, hoping to duck across the
room without attracting too much attention. She saw Gretchen say
something to Amy Heart and then the whole table of cheerleaders
started laughing mockingly at Helen. It took Helen far too long to
recover, and by the time she got herself oriented, everyone in the
cafeteria was staring at her. She retreated to her usual table with
Matt and Claire, sure she could feel a cramp coming on.
Would you please just stand up straight! Claire barked at her.
Theres nothing more pathetic than watching you try to dissolve
feetfirst into the frigging floor, and I swear if I catch you doing it
one more time Im going to lose it.
It was the last straw. Helen spun around on her heel and fled the
cafeteria. She tried to eat her lunch in the restroom, sitting on a
sink, but the venue was so unappetizing that she gave up on her
sandwich after a few bites.
She made it through her last three classes and practically ran to
the girls locker room when the final bell rang, but Claire was
already there waiting for her.
Sorry I yelled at you earlier, she said bashfully. She looked so
cute when she was apologizing that Helen couldnt even pick up a
grudge, let alone carry one.
Oh, forget it. Ive been a flake, and Id be angry, too, if I were
you. Helen threw an arm over Claires shoulder and led her outside
after they changed.
One thing, and then Im going to leave you alone about it until
you come to me to talk, Claire said as they walked past the football
field. Helen didnt have the patience for any more questions.
Weve never even kissed, Gig, she said, cutting Claire off.
Really? Claire practically shouted. Helen nodded and bumped
Claire playfully with her hip.
Really, really. I almost kissed him once, but he told me to lie
down and go to sleep.
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No way! Claire shouted. Helen grabbed her, clamping a hand
over her mouth.
Hes right over there, she said, gesturing toward him with her
chin. I told you Id tell you if anything happened. Im not trying to
keep secrets from you.
Claire gave Helen a knowing smile.
Youve always kept secrets. But its okay. When youre ready to
tell me you will, she said patiently. Then she tackled Helen, trying
to wrestle her to the ground. Helen went along with it, pretending
to be overpowered by her pint-sized pal, both of them laughing
hysterically. The fun only lasted a moment.
Get a room, said a boys amused voice.
You wish, Claire answered back. Wait. Howd you get over
here so fast?
Helen rolled over onto her back, blew her tangled hair out of her
face, and saw Lucas and Jason standing over them.
We saw you go down so we ran over to check it out, Lucas said,
ignoring Claires question.
Thanks. She is pretty ferocious, Helen replied, allowing Claire
to flip her over one more time before Lucas helped her up.
Five feet and two inches of pure terror, Claire boasted as she
held out her hand, expecting Jason to help her. He folded his arms
across his chest deliberately.
Is that how tall you are without those ridiculous shoes? he said
derisively. I think I was born bigger than that.
I bet you were. Five feet of fat head and two inches of ass,
Claire muttered, standing up.
Claire! Helen blurted out, shocked. Lucass shoulders were
shaking with laughter. Jason pretended to take the joke okay, but
Helen suspected his feelings were hurt.
Helen bit back her own laughter and gave Claire a little pinch as
punishment. Claire yelped in protest, pointing out that monkey
bites had been off-limits since they were ten, and was about to say
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something else to Jason when the Delos boys were called back to
practice by their coach.
Helen watched as Lucas jogged back to the football field. Running
in the sun, he was about the most beautiful thing shed ever
seen.
Crap. Were late, Claire said, and they picked up their pace to
catch up with their teammates, having to run up to the trailhead
where Coach Tar was waiting with her clipboard. She was already
shouting out start times, so Helen and Claire just kept running,
calling back to their coach as they crossed over the line. Coach
scribbled their times down, shaking her head.
You owe me a full minute off your last run for being late,
Hamilton! she shouted after them.
Sure, Coach! Helen shouted back before she lowered her voice
to berate Claire privately. Whyd you say that to him? she asked,
still feeling bad for Jason.
Because it felt fantastic! Claire replied unapologetically.
I like Jason, Helen said, realizing it was true. He had always
been kind to her, and he seemed to have a good head on his
shoulders. Hes a really nice guy, and you were awful to him.
Of course you like him, because Jason is nice to everyone.
Everyone but me. You dont have classes with us so you havent
seen him do it, but whenever we debate, he always tries to shut me
down, arguing against whatever position I take. Even when he actually
agrees with me, he argues just to play devils advocate.
And why do you think he does that? Helen asked with a little
grin.
I asked him, and do you know what he said? Claire plowed on,
getting herself even more worked up. He said everyone else in this
school is afraid to stand up to me in a debate, except for him, and
its good for me to have to work a little bit for once in my life!
How dare he challenge you to think deeper, Helen said with
mock horror.
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Believe me, its not a favor. Hes just trying to prove hes smarter
than me.
Is he?
Oh, I dont know. Maybe. Lucas is smarter than all of us, so
there goes valedictorian. And then theres Ariadne. Shes really
bright, too, but I think I have her beat. Well see what happens,
Claire said, biting at her lower lip.
She was deeply worried about all the new competition, and Helen
hadnt even asked her how classes were going so far. It sounded
like Claire had basically given up on her lifelong dream of graduating
at the top of the class, and Helen hadnt noticed.
Ive been a terrible friend to you these past couple of days,
havent I? Helen asked, suddenly disgusted with herself.
I wouldnt say terrible, Claire said with a wry smile. But you
could do me a favor to make up for it if you like.
Anything, Helen replied immediately.
If you could keep Lucas awake and occupied the night before exams
. . . Claire said, already holding up her arms to defend herself
from Helens pretend slaps. I dont know why youre fighting it,
Len. One, hes frigging gorgeous. Two, hes so frigging gorgeous
you need to count it twice. Three, he saw you fall down and left
practice to see if you were okay. Thats, like, devotion.
Helen didnt know how to respond. She couldnt exactly explain
that Lucas had only come over to make sure she was okay because
several of his relatives were trying to kill her. The image of Kate lying
unconscious on the dirty ground flashed into Helens head and
her stomach fluttered. Like Kate, Claire was in danger just being
around her.
I gotta pick up the pace, Helen said urgently, and Claire
nodded.
Show Lucas those legs are for more than drooling over and call
me later, she said cheerfully before Helen sped off.
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When Claire was out of sight, Helen sighed to herself, fighting
back a fit of guilt. She didnt know what she would do if anyone
ever hurt Claire. The thought distracted her from reining in her
stride and she almost allowed herself to run into Coach Tars view
far too early. At the last moment she remembered to duck behind
some bushes, waiting several minutes before pretending to sprint
the last few yards. She still finished first, of course, and then had to
spend another half hour waiting for Lucas to finish up with practice.
If he was going to continue driving her to school in the morning,
she decided she was going to have to come up with another
plan for getting to work afterward.
As soon as Helen walked in the front door of the News Store,
Kate started following her around with a stunned look on her face.
Wow! Kate managed to say after a few moments of speechlessness.
Hes like . . . wow! I could go to jail for even thinking what
Im thinking.
Kate! Helen exclaimed, throwing a balled-up napkin at her. I
thought you were a feminist!
Whats that got to do with anything?
Arent you always preaching that there can be no equality if the
sexes objectify each other?
Yeah, but damn! Kate said, fanning herself with her hand.
When I was your age all of the guys were trying to prove how antiestablishment
they were by out-uglying each other. I so got
robbed!
Keep on going and Ill tell my dad hes got competition, Helen
teased, but the joke didnt have the effect she thought it would. The
laughter went right out of Kates eyes and the smile melted off her
face.
I dont think it would make any difference to him, she said, and
then abruptly changed the subject. But were not talking about
me. Were talking about you and Lucas and the importance of
condoms.
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After several rounds of denial, and a few breaks to help customers,
Kate finally accepted the fact that Helen was still as pure as the
driven snow.
Is he gay? Kate asked. I mean, look at you, Len.
I havent asked, but Im pretty sure hes straight, Helen replied,
and then she sighed. I honestly dont know whats going on.
No reason to rush, and dont let anyone make you feel bad if you
want to wait, either. Its more fun if you take your time, anyway,
Kate said with a warm smile, changing the subject at the first sign
of Helens discomfort.
Although Kate seemed convinced that eventually she and Lucas
would go beyond virginal hand-holding, Helen suddenly wasnt so
sure. The one time she had tried to kiss Lucas he had told her to go
to sleep. Despite what everyone was saying about them, the truth
was that she and Lucas were no more than friends. Lucas could
have anyone he wanted, and if Kates response was any indication,
that included women long out of high school.
Knowing that didnt do anything to help Helens confidence. She
could tell that Lucas liked hershed caught him staring at her and
shed heard his heart pound when she lay down next to himbut
for some reason Lucas didnt seem to want to do anything about it.
Was that the way dating always was in the beginning, or was she
unintentionally doing something to push Lucas away? Shed never
had a boyfriend, and she honestly didnt know what normal was.
After work, she went home and forced herself to do all of her
school assignments before bed. By the time she switched out the
light it was well past two. Helen was beyond tired, but she still
couldnt fall asleep. She felt like she was missing something, or
maybe misunderstanding something. Lucas obviously liked her
and felt protective of her, but neither of those things meant that he