Starting Fires (21 page)

“Is Ian home?” I didn’t have a key and wouldn’t be able to get in.

“No, but there’s a spare key under the big brown rock by the door. Don’t worry about putting it back. I need someone to have one anyway, and I don’t trust Wally or Charles with it.”

“Okay,” I said, holding in my grin.

“It’s in the drawer to the right of the dishwasher. See you at 8?”

“See you then.”

After I found the bottle opener and made my way back home, I stood in my kitchen, leaning against the counter, unable to take my eyes off his house key. The light reflected off the metal as I moved it around in my fingers. This was serious. Was I okay with that? Maybe. But maybe not. I couldn’t decide. Without letting myself over analyze, I quickly put it on my key ring and tossed them on the island.

I was still staring at it when Wally and Charles came downstairs, both looking wonderful. I smiled as I eyed them. Charles was wearing a pink dress shirt, tucked into black slacks. Wally had on dark jeans and a maroon sweater that hugged his slender frame and showed off his slight muscles. His hair fell in beautiful, wavy locks along his ears.

“Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” Wally said as he came into the kitchen.

“You look hot,” I chuckled, realizing that I’ve never said those words to him. It sounded like something he would’ve said to me. Maybe he was rubbing off.

“Don’t I always?”

“Eh,” I said, moving my hand back and forth.

“Please,” he pursed his lips. “You’ve imagined me naked, and we both know it.” I hadn’t, but after he said it, I did for a brief second but quickly pushed the image away, having no desire to know what he looked like in the nude.

The parking lot at Burns was packed, so we pulled off into the grass. The atmosphere inside was clearly high-spirited. People were laughing, dancing, all having the time of their lives. It made me feel excited. It was a new year. Already I could see that it was going to be better than the last. I would be graduated and felt like all of the hurt of my past was leaving. It still lingered, but not as prominently as before. I was letting it go.

Lucas was behind the bar, running up and down its length, working fast as he helped customers. Kate and Gwen were doing the same. His bottle opener was in my hand and I made my way over to get his attention. After the person in front of me received their drink and walked off, I squeezed into the empty space. Lucas saw me and held up his finger. Patiently, I waited while he made a cocktail. As he was collecting the money for it, Gwen stopped in front of me.

“Hey, what can I get you?” she asked in a rush.

“I’m waiting on Lucas,” I said, waving his bottle opener in my hand.

“We’re kinda busy. I’ll give it to him.” She reached across the bar for it and my lips pulled to the side. I wanted to talk to him, even for just a moment, but she was shaking her fingers with urgency. To keep from making it a big deal, I reluctantly handed it to her. “Need a drink?” she asked, slipping it into her back pocket.

“Yeah, I’ll take a beer.”

Gwen reached into a cooler under the bar and used Lucas’ bottle opener to pop the cap off. “$3.50,” she told me.

It was strange that I’d never thought of it before, but never once had I paid for a drink at Burns. Either Lucas didn’t charge me or Charles bought it. Honestly, it made me feel bad. But I guess since I’d convinced Lucas to stopping paying me to do his books, this was his way of evening it out. Realizing Gwen was still waiting for my money, I pulled a twenty out of my purse and handed it to her.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Lucas said and rushed over to take the money away from her. “Marzy never pays for drinks,” he told her. “Ever.” She looked at me with confusion, but walked off to help someone else. As he moved in front of me, he leaned his elbows against the bar, and put the money back in my hand.

“It’s insane in here,” I said.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “If I get a minute I’ll try to come see you.” With the size of this crowd, I doubted he’d get the opportunity, but I nodded enthusiastically. A girl next to me asked for a Cosmo, and Lucas went to make it. Knowing he was slammed, and that there was no point in me standing there, I moved back into the crowd to find my friends.

Over the next few hours, we drank in the last night of the year. Nicole had brought a guy with her and was sucking face with him all night, but loving every second of it. Wally flit and fluttered around the room. I didn’t see much of Lacey or Ian, and ended up following Charles around.

Some “
old friends
” of his were in town and we were sitting at a table with them. They were all friendly, and despite not knowing any of them, I didn’t feel out of place.

After a few hours, my phone vibrated on the table. It was a text from Lucas that read,
Stop looking so beautiful.
I looked over at the bar and saw him smiling at me. My face heated with welcomed embarrassment. Not knowing how else to respond, I texted
*blushes
back. Lucas grinned at his phone before Gwen approached him. She said something that made him laugh then he walked by her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

In my mind, that hand stayed on her shoulder for an eternity. In reality, it had probably only been a fraction of a second. While she smiled at a customer, her eyes briefly shifted to mine. She flipped her long hair over her shoulder before turning back to the man in front of her.

“What do you think of her?”

“Huh?” I said and turned to find Wally sitting in front of me, squinting his eyes as he drank from his beer.

“Gwen. What. Do. You. Think of her?”

Was he baiting me into something? “She’s alright I guess.”

“Mmhmm. You hate her,” he said, pointing a finger at me.

“No, I don’t,” I said defensively. “I hardly know her. How can I hate someone I barely know?”

“It’s all over your face.” He leaned across the table. “You’re worried about her and Lucas.”

“No, I’m not,” I argued. “I haven’t even thought about it.”

“Really?” he said, like he didn’t believe me.

“Yes, really,” I lied.

“Let me ask you something,” he sighed, sprawling out in the chair. “What would you do if Lucas hooked up with someone else?”

What would I do? Nothing. How would I feel? Horrible. “I wouldn’t do anything,” I said.

Wally stared at me long and hard, analyzing my answer. “Alright,” he said, standing from the table. “So you wouldn’t care?”

I didn’t like the way he was looking at me, and it felt like he was trying to embarrass me. Instead of answering truthfully, I avoided it by saying, “We aren’t dating,” with a shrug. He pulled a face and walked off. For the rest of the night I felt like there was a big rock stuck in my stomach and wasn’t able to enjoy much else.

When it was almost midnight, everyone started getting excited and lumping into groups with their friends. It was time to start the countdown, and I was standing off to the side of Charles as all of his buddies huddled around him. A pretty brunette was under his arm, and I smiled to myself as I realized she was probably going to be his New Year’s Kiss.

New Year’s Kiss
. Who was going to be mine? I glanced over at Lucas and saw him propped against the corner of the bar talking to a guy across from him. A huge crowd separated us.

The people around me started yelling out as we approached 12 a.m.

10…

Gwen walked up to Lucas and caged him into the counter.

9…

Lucas smiled down at her.

8…

I glanced away and realized someone across the bar was watching me.

7…

It was Fontenot.

6…

His eyes changed and he moved towards me.

5…

He stopped in front of me and wet his lips.

4…

I held my breath and tried to take a step back, but was blocked in.

3…

God, I really didn’t want him to be my New Year’s kiss.

2…

My face contorted and I held up my hands, ready to push him off.

1…

Someone grabbed my arm, and quickly spun me around. Lucas smiled down at me for only a second before one of his arms went to my lower back, pulling me into him. Our mouths connected. Warmth flowed through my entire body when I realized how fast he must have raced to reach me. I brought my hands to his jaw, and cradled it as I reached up on my tiptoes. When our kiss deepened, he brought his other hand to the back of my head and leaned into me, making my back arch slightly. For far too long we savored each other’s mouths, forgetting everything and everyone around us.

Someone drunkenly bumped into us, and we finally pulled apart. He nuzzled my nose with his, and smiled again. “Happy New Year, Marzy.”

I smiled back. “Happy New Year, Lucas.”

 

Chapter 19

I
t didn’t take
long for me to realize how silly I’d been about Gwen. The schedule Lucas made never put them working together, and the few times I’d been around them, I realized he only treated her with friendly professionalism.

She had to know that we were involved. Even if she happened to miss the very public New Year’s kiss, it was still obvious. To everyone. And I hoped that she felt embarrassed about what she’d said to me the day we met.

I accepted Mia’s offer to get me an internship at her friend’s accounting firm. This last semester was going to be difficult, but I needed the practical application. It ended up not even being her friend, but her friend’s
sister
who worked there, and one Sunday afternoon in the middle of January, she gave me a call. Her name was Amanda and after a brief chat, she asked me to meet her boss the following Monday. They usually didn’t take on interns, but two of their staff were on maternity leave and they needed the extra help.

Full of anxiety, I drove to the firm and waited in the lobby for Mr. Yudeski to meet with me. Since he was going to be my new boss, I was nervous and fiddled with the ring on my middle finger the entire time. The large band had come to be a source of comfort and I never left the house without it.

After I’d spun it around my finger for probably the 100th time, an older gentleman walked into the room. If I had to guess, I would say that he was in his late 50s. He had a receding hairline and obviously dyed his hair black. He was wearing a pristine navy suit and had a look about him that told me he typically avoided talking to people altogether. Not because he was shy or uncomfortable with it, but because he had better things to do with his time, and simple conversation was a distraction he avoided.

“Marlowe Duncan,” he said crisply.

Already, I was on edge with his demeanor, but I gave him a nervous smile and stood. “Yes, sir. That’s me. You must be Mr. Yudeski. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”

He
hmphed
and started walking away. I guess he wanted me to follow him? Hastily, I grabbed my bag and trotted to catch up. He didn’t say a word until we were in his office and he was seated behind his massive desk. “Have a seat,” he said without looking up from the papers in his hand. I did. “Amanda tells me that you’re set to graduate in May.”

“That’s right.”

“Any idea what areas of accounting you are interested in?”

“Auditing mostly.”

“Any practical experience?”

“I’ve been helping out a friend at his business. Balancing his books. But no auditing.”

He made an
hmm
sound and looked to the ceiling. Why was I sweating? He was silent. I was silent. And after a while, I felt as if the silence became a third person in the room, standing on the sidelines judging me.

Mr. Yudeski started fiddling with the end of his tie as he contemplated something. What was I supposed to do here? I couldn’t decide if I should say something or what that something should even be, so I didn’t speak.

Out of nowhere he said, “I like you,” and my eyebrows went up. “You’ll be working with Paul. He’s one of our newer hires, but he’s been doing some auditing work for me. Maybe it’ll help you decide if it’s the right choice for you. His office is down the hall on the left. Work hours are from 9-5 but you can leave any time after 1 p.m.” He didn’t say anything else and after a few seconds, he looked up at me silently asking
Why are you still here?

“Oh,” I said and grabbed my things. “Thank you.” As I went to shut his door, I saw him looking down at some papers on his desk with an amused smile. While walking down the hall, I smiled too. Mr. Yudeski seemed to enjoy making people squirm.

I made it to the office, and knocked on the slightly opened door. “Yeah,” a voice said from inside.

I stepped in and saw a man sitting behind a mountain of paperwork. “Are you Paul?” He nodded. “I’m Marlowe.” I gave him a smile and stepped in. “Mr. Yudeski just hired me as a new intern. He said that I’d be working with you.”

“Finally!” he said, raising his hands to the ceiling. “I’ve been needing help for weeks.”

His excitement made me chuckle. “Well, I hope that I don’t disappoint. But go easy on me. I’m still in school and this is my first time in an actual firm.”

“Of course.” He walked to another desk in the room and started clearing the binders and papers from it. “Here. You can use this one.”

Once I was situated, Paul had me go over some balance reports that he was working on. Periodically, I’d stop to ask him questions, but mostly we worked in a comfortable silence.

Paul was close to my age and had medium length brown hair that fell to his ears. He was slim, but not skinny. As he poured over the work on his desk, his forehead creased in concentration and I hoped that I could ease some of his stress.

Around 12, he asked if I wanted to go to lunch. Deciding that I wanted to stay the whole day, I agreed. He took me to a sandwich place across the street with several other employees. Amanda was there along with two other women. Another man eventually joined us and I was surprised at how easy it was for me to feel comfortable with them. They didn’t ask me many personal questions, but included me in their conversations and by the time lunch and my day was finished, I drove home with a smile on my face. Maybe if everything worked out, they would hire me on as a fulltime employee when I graduated.

Since it was Monday, I knew Lucas would be at the bar, but I was excited to tell him how wonderful my first day at been. After I showered, I grabbed my phone to text him, but saw that one from him was already waiting on me.

First day go okay?
he asked.

I wrapped the towel around me and sat on the bed as I texted back.
Fantastic! I’m really excited about this. Tell Mia I said thank you!

Will do. :) You coming up here tonight?

Since I had to be up early the next day, I knew that I couldn’t stay late or drink, but it wouldn’t hurt to go for a little while.
Yeah. But I have to leave early.

:( I understand. See you soon then?

Give me a few hours to do some homework.

K.

It was 8 p.m. when I arrived, and the Monday crowd was going strong. It wasn’t as bad as the weekend, and I was able to find a seat at the bar. Lucas smiled when he saw me and came over. “Good to see you,” he grinned.

Immediately, a huge smile came over my face. “It was great! Before I knew it, it was 5 o’clock and I’d barely left the office because I was so engrossed with what I was doing. This is exactly the kind of stuff I want to be working on when I graduate. And the guy I’m sharing an office with is really nice, and so is everyone else. Oh, Lucas, I’m going to learn so much!” He was still grinning at me, and I realized that during my spill, I’d started rubbing my hand up and down his strong forearm.

“I’m happy for you,” he said and it was clear that he really was. His eyes sparkled and his heartfelt grin made my heart race.

Over his shoulder, Kate suddenly slammed her phone down on the back counter. My body tensed at her unexpected outburst. “I’m going to the back,” she said.

After she made it through the door, I asked, “What’s wrong with her?”

“Joey’s giving her trouble again. These women. I should make it a policy to hire only men from now on,” he said, rubbing his hands down his face. “Maybe they would be less dramatic.”

“Is Joey her boyfriend?”

He pursed his lips and lifted a shoulder. “Something like that.” I wondered if she was in a similar situation as Lucas and I. Maybe she was if Joey was only
something like
her boyfriend. I thought about confiding in her about my feelings, but pushed that aside. Kate didn’t seem like the type of person to share emotions.

Since she was gone, Lucas and I weren’t able to talk much more, and she didn’t return until right before their show started. By that time, it was late and I needed leave. “I gotta go,” I told him just before he went up to the stage.

“I’ll call you later,” he said and gave me a wink. My chest tightened and I thought back to my desire to ask him for commitment. Not tonight. I needed more time to feel him out before I brought it up. It still wasn’t clear where he stood on the matter.

The next morning I had a text message from him that came through at 2:43 a.m.

Just made it home. It’s late so I’m not calling, but still thinking of you while I lay in bed.

I bit my lip as I smiled, and responded with
Just got up. It’s early so I’m not calling, but still thinking of you while I get ready for work. ;)

Maybe the winky face was a little much.

The next few days I hardly saw anyone but my coworkers. I’d get up, go to work, fly through the day, come home, study, and think of Lucas while I tried to sleep. By Friday, I was looking forward to the weekend, even though Lucas wouldn’t be in town—he was going on a fishing trip with his dad. As I was packing up my things at the office, Paul said, “God, I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been stressing out for weeks.”

“I’m glad too, and I’ve really enjoyed it. Everyone here is so nice.”

His phone started vibrating and with distraction he said, “Yeah, they are. I’ve only been here a few months, but… they’re… but… Sorry,” he shook the phone at me. “My girlfriend. She wants to go a new Indian restaurant tonight. Last time I went on an experimental dinner run with her, I was sick for a week. But it’s so hard to tell her no.” He whined with a smile, letting his knees give in defeat.

“That’s sweet. But also sucks for you.”

He chuckled as he typed out the rest of his message. I started out the door and he said, “Oh, by the way, some of us get together once a month for lunch on Saturday. Don’t feel obligated to come. But you’re more than welcome to.”

“Well, where are you going?”

“I’m not sure yet. Give me your number and I’ll text you. But seriously, don’t feel pressured. Only a few of us go.”

Quickly, I wrote my number down and left. But as much as I liked everyone here, I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend my Saturday afternoon with them. That was the point of the weekend—to get away from work.

Late that night I received a text from Paul telling me where they would be going. Already knowing that I wouldn’t be feeling it, I thanked him, but told him I had plans. Truthfully, I didn’t. Since Lucas was out of town, Wally and I ended up sitting on the couch and watched
Avatar the Last Airbender
all weekend. Even though it was a cartoon, it was damn good television.

Over the next few days, Lucas and my text messages or phone calls were sparse. We barely saw each other, and by Thursday, I really missed him. His car wasn’t in his driveway when I arrived home, and I texted him:
Just made it home. Wanna hang out tonight?

Can’t. I’m at the bar working with Kate.

My disappointment made me frown. But maybe I could swing by for a little while.
Can I come up there?

You better.

His last words made me smile, and without going inside to change, I reversed out of my driveway and made my way to the bar. It had just opened and my car was the only one in the parking lot besides theirs. Filled with excitement, I walked in the door. Lucas was sitting at the bar and smiled when he saw me, turning his chair in my direction. My steps sped up until I was giddily skipping towards him. He chuckled and opened his arms. With far too much eagerness, I fell into him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my head into his chest.

“Hey,” he laughed. “Happy to see me?”

“Mmhmm,” I said into his shirt. After getting in a good squeeze, I raised my head to look at him. For a moment, he just stared at me, a smile plastered across his face. But then he brought one of his hands to my hair, smoothing it back as he kissed me.

“Can you cut it out?” Kate yelled as she came in from the back room. Abruptly, we stopped, and my brows curled in confusion. What was her deal? She’d seen us kiss
at least
a few times. “You’re making me fucking sick,” she continued, angrily dropping a case of liquor on the floor.

Lucas kept his hands at my backside and narrowed his eyes at her. “Relax, Kate,” he said. “Stop throwing your negativity around. Just because you’re unhappy doesn’t mean everyone else has to be.” After he was finished chastising her, he nudged the underside of my jaw with his nose and gave me gentle kisses.

As much as I loved it, Kate staring at us made it hard for me to fully appreciate his sweetness. Her face was hard, eyes squinty, and lips puckered out in anger. Just as I was about to ask Lucas if we could go back to his office, I saw something that I never before would’ve been able to describe.

Her face fell, and with vulnerability she’d never shown, her eyes glossed over with moisture. She let out a sob before the first tears fell. Suddenly, her cheeks were red and she brought her hands up to cover the unexpected break down.

Hearing her soft whimpers, Lucas raised his head and looked at her, sighing with guilt. “Kate… I’m sorry…”