Stepbrother Dearest (15 page)

room.

When I came out, the hairs on my body stiffened at the sight of Elec alone on one of the couches. He

leaned into his knees with both of his palms plastered to each side of his head. When he lowered his hands,

he was still looking down. His ears were red, and his back was rising and falling from the heaviness of his

breathing.

This was a private moment, and I was inadvertently intruding on it.

Perhaps it was the breakdown I’d seen coming earlier by the look on his face upstairs. Nevertheless, I

didn’t want him to see me. The problem was I had to pass him in order to get to the stairs.

Despite his upsetting me earlier, the need to comfort him was overwhelming, but I knew after what he’d

said to me, that it wasn’t my place.

So, I walked slowly past him.

When I got to the hallway where the stairs were located, the sound of his voice startled me. “Wait.”

I stopped in my tracks and turned around. “I need to get back upstairs to Mom.”

“Give me a few minutes.”

I brushed the white lint off the black material of my dress and walked toward him, taking a seat next to

him on the couch. The warmth of his body with his leg pressed against mine was not lost on me.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He looked at me and shook his head no.

Squelching the urge to hug him, I placed my hands firmly on my lap.

It’s not your place.

Then, every part of me felt it when he put his hand on my knee. That one touch undid any progress I’d

made in the hours since our altercation in the garden.

“What I said to you earlier…I’m sorry,” he said.

“Which part?”

“All of it. I don’t know how to handle this…Randy…you…none of it. It all seems surreal. On the plane

here, I prayed that by some miracle you wouldn’t show up.”

“Why?”

“Because this situation is hard enough.”

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I certainly didn’t expect it to be this hard, to feel like this after seven years, Elec.”

“Like what?”

“Like no time’s passed. For me, it’s because I’ve held onto it all. In my mind, I’ve never let you go, and

it’s affected my relationships and my life. It was manageable before, though...before this. Anyway, I really shouldn’t be getting into it. It doesn’t matter anymore. You love Chelsea.”

“I do,” he said abruptly.

Hearing him confirm it so vehemently had caused my eyes to unexpectedly well up. “She’s a good

person. But seeing you with someone else after the way we left things is still really hard for me. Seeing you in pain is even harder.”

I had completely thrown up my words and said exactly what was on my mind because once again, I

wasn’t sure if it would be the last time we’d be alone together. It was important that he knew how I felt. I shook my head repeatedly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that.”

The people upstairs sounded like they were a million miles away. You could have heard a pin drop

where we were all alone.

I was looking down when his hand startled me as it landed on my cheek. He slowly slid it down and

wrapped it around my neck.

“Greta…” he breathed out with a level of emotion I’d only seen from him one other time before—seven

years ago.

I closed my eyes and realized that for a moment we were back in that place. I was with the old Elec—

my Elec. This was something I never thought I’d get to feel again. He kept his hand on my throat and lightly squeezed it. It was innocent, but there was a fine line being drawn with every second that passed. His thumb brushed back and forth over my neck slowly. The feel of his rough, calloused fingers warmed my entire

body. I didn’t understand what was happening, and I wasn’t sure if he did, either. I prayed that no one came downstairs because the second he snapped out of it, my Elec would be gone.

“I hurt you,” he said, his fingers still locked around my skin.

“It’s okay,” I whispered. My eyes were still closed.

Elec quickly moved his hand off of me when we heard footsteps.

“There you are,” Chelsea said as she walked toward where we sat on the couch. “I don’t blame you two

for wanting a breather. This night has been exhausting.”

I immediately got up and offered her probably the fakest smile I’d ever conjured up in my life. My heart

was still racing from what I’d just experienced.

“The priest is getting ready to lead a prayer. I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss it,” she said to him.

“Are you feeling okay to head back upstairs?”

“Yeah…uh…I’m fine,” he said. “Let’s go.”

He gave me a quick look that was hard to read before turning around toward the stairs with Chelsea. I

followed them and watched as he placed his hand on the small of her back, the same hand that had just

been wrapped around my neck a minute ago.

***

After the wake, Greg and Clara invited a few people back to their house for tea and pastry. My mother

felt obligated to go, which meant I needed to stay with her and drive her home.

Mom and I were the last to leave the funeral home, so by the time we got to the house, the dining room

table was full of people. The house smelled like freshly made coffee and the blueberry scones Clara had

just taken out of the oven.

I wished I could have just gone home and slept, though. Tomorrow would be another long day with the

funeral. I didn’t even know when Elec was leaving to go back to California and assumed he wouldn’t be

staying much longer than tomorrow.

Elec and Chelsea were nowhere to be found. Even though it was none of my business, I couldn’t help

wondering where they were and what they were doing.

Just as soon as I’d had the thought, Chelsea appeared in the living room, carrying a scone on a paper

plate. She had changed out of her black dress and into some casual shorts and a t-shirt. Her hair was tied

into a loose ponytail, and she appeared younger without any makeup.

“Hey, Greta. Can I join you?” She sat next to me before I even responded.

“Sure.” I scooted over on the loveseat.

“I’m glad you came back here,” she said. “Greg and Clara’s house is really nice, isn’t it? I’m so glad

we’re staying here instead of a hotel.”

“It is.”

“I hope to own a house someday, but with our salaries at the youth center, it’ll be a while before that

happens. Our apartment back home is really small.”

Our apartment.

“How long have you lived together?”

“Just a few months. We’ve been together almost a year. Elec was hesitant to move further away from his

mother, but he eventually gave in. Pilar wasn’t well for a long time. You know that, right?”

“Yes. I knew she had issues.”

“Well, the past year has been a lot better. She actually has a boyfriend now…but when she found out

Randy died, she took it really hard, so we’re worried she’ll have a relapse.”

“Where’s Elec now?”

“He’s just upstairs.”

“How is he doing?”

“Actually…he’s acting really strange tonight.”

“What do you mean?”

She looked around to make sure no one was listening to our conversation. “Okay…well, we left the

wake a little early and came back here. He…”

“He what?”

She leaned in and whispered, “He wanted to have sex.”

I nearly regurgitated my tea.

Why in God’s name was she telling me this?

I coughed. “Is that unusual?”

“No, I mean…he has a huge sexual appetite, but this was different.”

Huge sexual appetite…

I did my best to play it casual and pretend I wasn’t sick to my stomach over this conversation, which I

was pretty sure would traumatize me. “Different?”

“We got back here, and he immediately dragged me upstairs and started ripping my clothes off. It was

like he was doing it to bury his feelings, to forget about tonight. And I understood that. But then, once we started, he couldn’t finish. The look in his eyes…it was like his mind was somewhere else. Then, he just

ran to the bathroom, slammed the door, and I heard the shower running.”

“Did he say anything after?”

“No. Nothing.”

“It must have had something to do with everything that happened tonight,” I said.

And by that, I don’t mean him wrapping his hand around my neck, Chelsea.

“I can’t leave him like this,” she said.

“What do you mean leave him?”

“He didn’t tell you? I can’t stay for the funeral.”

“Why?”

“My flight leaves at nine in the morning. My sister is getting married tomorrow night. I know…a Friday

night wedding, right? I guess having it on a weeknight cut the cost of the venue in half. But it still sucks for the rest of us who have to work or have lives. I’m her maid of honor. The timing couldn’t be worse.”

She was leaving.

“When is Elec going back?”

“His flight is Saturday night.”

“Oh.”

She crossed her legs and took a bite of the scone. “Was he always this complex? I mean, when he was

younger?”

“From the brief time I knew him, I would say so…yes. His writing books is a good example of that.”

She tilted her head. “His writing…books?”

She didn’t know?

“Oh…uh…just something he toyed around with. I shouldn’t have brought it up. It’s irrelevant.”

“Wow, I need to ask him about that. I can’t believe I didn’t know he liked to write. Books about what?”

How could he not have told her?

I started to panic. “Just fiction. Don’t say I told you.” I shook my head, urging her to drop it. “I

shouldn’t have said anything.”

His voice was cold. “No. You shouldn’t have.”

We both turned at the same time to find Elec standing in front of us.

Shit.

The icy stare he gave me was all the indictor I needed that I’d made a big mistake. But it was too late.

Now, he was the one that had to do damage control.

Chelsea patted the seat next to her. “Come here, baby. Why would you not tell me you used to write?

That’s so cool.”

“It’s not really a big deal. It was just a hobby I had when I was a teenager.”

It wasn’t a hobby; it was a passion.

Why aren’t you writing anymore?

“I can’t believe you never told me,” she said.

He brushed it off. “Well, now you know.”

I was waiting for him to look at me so that I could at least mouth a silent apology, but he never gave me

the opportunity.

Clara walked into the room. “Elec, can I get you anything?” she asked.

“Something strong.”

“You got it.”

She returned with three shot glasses filled with some kind of amber-colored liquor. Elec downed the

first two immediately.

Chelsea whispered to me. “See? Promise you’ll keep an eye on him for me, okay?”

Elec slammed the last shot glass down after finishing its contents. “She doesn’t need to keep an eye on

me,” he spewed.

“You know how badly I feel about leaving you alone.”

“You shouldn’t. I’ll be fine. I’ll be home before you wake up on Sunday morning.”

He’d be gone again before I knew it.

She leaned her head on his shoulder. Elec had changed into jeans, and his feet were bare. That triggered

a flashback to the night he initially opened up to me in my bedroom when I noticed for the first time how

beautiful his feet were bare. I willed the thought away because when Chelsea had asked me to keep an eye

on him, I hardly think she meant ogling him.

My mother walked into the living room. “Honey, I think I need to get home and rest up for tomorrow.”

“Okay, we’ll get going.” I couldn’t get off that couch fast enough.

Chelsea stood up. “Greta, I won’t see you again. I can’t tell you how good it was to meet you. I hope

we’ll meet again.”

“Likewise.” I lied.

As I hugged her, I looked behind her shoulder at Elec and mouthed, “I’m sorry,” hoping he’d forgive

me for letting the cat out of the bag about his writing. He just looked at me with an unreadable expression.

While I couldn’t understand why he never mentioned it to her if they were so serious, that didn’t matter. I’d once again overstepped my boundaries when it came to him. Despite whatever that was between us

downstairs at the funeral home, I had no real place in his life anymore. I made a vow then and there to keep my distance from him tomorrow unless he sought me out.

He doesn’t need me. He has her.
That would be my mantra.

She hugged my mother. “Sarah, please accept my sincerest condolences again. I’m so sorry that I have

to be in California for my sister’s wedding tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” my mother said. I could tell she was exhausted.

Chelsea whispered into my ear. “Thank you for letting me vent about that stuff earlier, too.”

“Anytime.”

Thank you for traumatizing me.

In another life, this girl could have been my best friend. I could just tell she was the kind of person you

could call at any hour of the night to vent about all your problems. She was
that
nice, and I was
that
evil for the amount of relief I’d felt knowing that she’d be leaving on a jet plane tomorrow morning.

Now, the only hurdle would be getting through the next twenty-four hours. Then, Elec would be on a

plane, too and out of my life again.

Right?

It didn’t quite turn out to be that simple.

It was a beautiful day despite the somber mood. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and I’d

actually managed to sleep. But this wasn’t your ordinary beautiful spring morning in Boston. Today, my

mother would have to bury a husband for the second time in her life, and Elec would have to bury his