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120
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like. Isn’t it incredible [emotional]? It’s the world’s thinnest note-

book [simple]. It has a gorgeous 13.3-inch wide-screen display and

a phenomenal full-sized keyboard [emotional and concrete]. I’m

stunned our engineering team could pull this off [emotional].
”10

Table 10.3 lists even more examples of specific, concrete, and

emotional phrases from the Jobs repertoire of language. This

is just a small sample. Every Jobs presentation contains similar

language.

Jargon: A Sure Way to Upset Jack Welch

Jack Welch made the observation, “Insecure managers create

complexity.” During his twenty years as GE’s top executive, the

conglomerate grew from $13 billion in revenue to $500 billion.

Welch was on a mission to “declutter” everything about the

company, from its management processes to its communica-

tion. He despised long, convoluted memos, meetings, and

presentations.

In his book Jack: Straight from the Gut, Welch describes

meetings that left him “underwhelmed.” If you wanted to

upset the new CEO, all you had to do was talk over his head.

Welch would say, “Let’s pretend we’re in high school . . . take

me through the basics.” He recounts his first meeting with one

of his insurance leaders. Welch asked some simple questions

about terms he was unfamiliar with. He writes, “So I inter-

rupted him to ask: ‘What’s the difference between facultative

and treaty insurance?’ After fumbling through a long answer

for several minutes, an answer I wasn’t getting, he finally

blurted out in exasperation, ‘How do you expect me to teach

you in five minutes what it has taken me twenty-five years to

learn!’ Needless to say, he didn’t last long.
”11

Speaking in jargon carries penalties in a society that values

speech free from esoteric, incomprehensible bullshit. Speaking

over people’s heads may cost you a job or prevent you from

advancing as far as your capabilities might take you otherwise.

USE “AMAZINGLY ZIPPY” WORDS
121

TABLE 10.3
SPECIFIC, CONCRETE, AND EMOTIONAL PHRASES IN

JOBS’S PRESENTATIONS

EVENT

PHRASE

Apple Music Event, 2001

“The coolest thing about iPod is your entire

music library fits in your pocket.
”12

Introduction of the world’s

“I asked you to buckle up. Now I want

first seventeen-inch widescreen

you to put on your shoulder harness.
”13

notebook, Macworld 2003

Referencing the current

“The number one lust object.
”14

Titanium PowerBook,

Macworld 2003

Describing the new

“It’s stunning. It is the most incredible

seventeen-inch PowerBook,

product we have ever made. Look at that

Macworld 2003

screen. It’s amazing. Look at how thin it is.

Isn’t that incredible? When it’s closed, it’s

only one inch think. It’s beautiful, too. This

is clearly the most advanced notebook

computer ever made on the planet. Our

competitors haven’t even caught up with

what we introduced two years ago; I don’t

know what they’re going to do about this.
”15

Jobs’s description of the

“Insanely great.”

original Macintosh

Persuading PepsiCo president

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life

John Sculley to become

selling sugared water or do you want a

Apple’s CEO

chance to change the world?”

Quote in Triumph of the Nerds

“We’re here to put a dent in the universe.
”16

Discussing CEO Gil Amelio’s

“The products suck! There’s no sex in them

reign at Apple

anymore!
”17

Jobs creating a new word

“iPod Touch is the funnest iPod we’ve ever

for the launch of a new iPod,

created.
”18

September 2008

Unveiling the first seventeen-

“A giant leap beyond PC notebooks.

inch notebook computer,

Miraculously engineered.
”19

January 7, 2003

122
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Some people will look at the language in this table and say

Jobs is a master of hype. Well, hype is hype only if there’s no

“there” there. It would be hard to argue with Jobs that the

Macintosh (the first easy-to-use computer with a graphical inter-

face and mouse) wasn’t “insanely great” or that products like

the MacBook Air aren’t “stunningly” thin.

Jobs isn’t a hype-master as much as he’s the master of the

catchphrase. The folks at Apple think long and hard about the

words used to describe a product. Language is intended to stir up

excitement and create a “must-have” experience for Apple’s cus-

tomers. There’s nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind that the

majority of business language is gobbledygook—dull, abstract,

and meaningless. Steve Jobs is anything but dull. Inject some

zip into your words.

It’s Like This . . .

Another way to add zip to your language is to create analogies,

comparing an idea or a product to a concept or product familiar to

your audience. When Steve Jobs shakes up a market category with

the introduction of an entirely new product, he goes out of his way

to compare the product to something that is widely understood,

commonly used, and well known. Here are some examples:

 ”Apple TV is like a DVD player for the twenty-first century”

(Introduction of Apple TV, January 9, 2007)

 ”iPod Shuffle is smaller and lighter than a pack of gum”

(Introduction of iPod Shuffle, January 2005)

 ”iPod is the size of a deck of cards” (Introduction of iPod,

October 2001)

When you find an analogy that works, stick with it. The more

you repeat it, the more likely your customers are to remember it.

If you do a Google search for articles about the products just

mentioned, you will find thousands of links with the exact

comparisons that Jobs himself used. Following are the three

USE “AMAZINGLY ZIPPY” WORDS
123

A Cure for Bad Pitches

Don’t sell solutions; create stories instead. The New York Times

columnist David Pogue loves a good pitch. He says the major-

ity of his columns come from pitches. What he doesn’t want

to hear is jargon. Surprisingly, PR professionals are among the

worst offenders (surpassed only by bureaucrats, senior man-

agers, and IBM consultants). Pogue argues that buzzwords

(terminology such as “integrated,” “best of breed,” “B2B,” and

“consumer-centric”) are unnecessary. The ideal pitch is a short

paragraph telling Pogue exactly what the product is and does.

For example, one company wrote Pogue and said it had a new

laptop that could be dropped from six feet, could be dunked

in water, and could survive three-hundred-degree heat and

still work. This clever description was enough to grab Pogue’s

attention.

The Bad Pitch blog is a must-read for PR, marketing, and

sales professionals. The site carries actual pitches from PR pro-

fessionals who should know better than to issue impenetrable

jargon masking as a press release.

Here’s an example: “Hope you’re well. I’d like to introduce

you to , a new, place-based out-of-home digi-

tal network that delivers relevant, localized media within

the rhythm of consumers’ daily rituals, like afternoon coffee

or sandwiches at lunch.” This particular pitch came from a

company that puts video billboards in delis. Why couldn’t they

just say that? It’s too simple, that’s why. People are afraid of

simplicity. This is not an isolated example. The site is updated

daily with pitches from large and small PR agencies as well

as small and large corporations. Apple pitches rarely make

the site, because the company’s press releases tell a story

in the same conversational language that Jobs uses in his

presentations.

As the site’s mantra explains, “A good pitch disappears and

turns into the story; a bad pitch becomes the story.” Follow the

blog posts at
http://badpitch.blogspot.com.

124
DELIVER THE EXPERIENCE

analogies just reviewed (in the format of a search phrase) and

the number of links to articles using those phrases:

 Apple TV + DVD player for twenty-first century: 40,000 links

 iPod Shuffle + pack of gum: 46,500 links

 iPod + deck of cards: 227,000 links

Your listeners and viewers are attempting to categorize a prod-

uct—they need to place the concept in a mental bucket. Create

the mental bucket for them. If you don’t, you are making their

brains work too hard. According to Emory University psychol-

ogy professor Dr. Gregory Berns, the brain wants to consume the

least amount of energy. That means it doesn’t want to work too

hard to figure out what people are trying to say. “The efficiency

principle has major ramifications,” he states. “It means the brain

takes shortcuts whenever it can.
”20
Analogies are shortcuts.

Nothing will destroy the power of your pitch more thor-

oughly than the use of buzzwords and complexity. You’re not

impressing anyone with your “best-of-breed, leading-edge,

agile solutions.” Instead, you are putting people to sleep, los-

ing their business, and setting back your career. Clear, concise,

and “zippy” language will help transform your prospects into

customers and customers into evangelists. Delight your custom-

ers with the words you choose—stroke their brains’ dopamine

receptors with words that cause them to feel good whenever

they think of you and your product. People cannot follow your

vision or share your enthusiasm if they get lost in the fog.

Word Fun with Titles

Your customers are your most potent evangelists. I recall a

conversation with one of my clients, Cranium founder Richard

Tait, who said he sold one million games with no advertising,

all word of mouth. “Never forget that your customers are your

sales force,” he told me.

His customers—he calls them “Craniacs”—want to have

fun. Since fun was the name of the game, so to speak, Tait

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