Stink and the Incredible Super-Galactic Jawbreaker (3 page)

Exactly eleven days later, a package arrived for Stink. A box that thumped and clunked when he shook it. A box that rattled and crunched when he opened it. A big box full of . . . jawbreakers!

Stink read the letter. “Dear Mr. Stink Moody, blah blah. While we are not in the business of breaking jaws . . . blah blah blah . . . sorry that our jawbreaker did not meet your satisfaction . . . more blah . . . please accept an assortment of fun, exciting and brand-new jawbreakers you might like . . .”

“Holy jawbreaker heaven!” There were mega jawbreakers, mini jawbreakers, monster jawbreakers, black, rainbow, and psychedelic jawbreakers, asteroids and alien heads, glow-in-the-darks and gobstoppers, even jawbreaker lollipops on a stick with a bubblegum center.

“Leaping lollipops!” squealed Judy. “Where’d you get all these? There’s more jawbreakers here than in Willy Wonka’s house.” She tossed a handful up in the air.

“Ten whole pounds!” said Stink. “It says so right here. Wait till I tell Webster!”

“That’s 21,280 jawbreakers!” Judy pointed to the number on the box.

“What am I gonna do with twenty thousand million jawbreakers?”

“Get twenty thousand million cavities, of course,” said Judy. “C’mon, let’s divide them up. We can each set up our own jawbreaker store and trade them with each other. Or we could start our own jawbreaker museum.”

“What do you mean WE?” asked Stink.

“You and me,” Judy said. “Two heads are better than one. I mean two
jawbreaker eaters
are better than one.”

“No way are you getting half!” said Stink. “They’re mine-all-mine, and I get to decide.”

“Stink, you never share!”

“You know what they say . . . You can’t teach an old dog new tricks! A leopard can’t change its spots! Besides, I’m the one who wrote the letter.”

“What letter?”

“I wrote a letter to the jawbreaker company about how my super-galactic jawbreaker did not break my jaw.”

“No fair!” said Judy. “I wrote a letter once that you, my little brother, wrecked my Hedda-Get-Betta doll, and all I got from the doll company was a get-well card.”

Stink cracked up.

“Are you sure you didn’t win a contest for being short or something?” Judy asked.

“Honest! All I did was write one puny little letter.”

Suddenly, Stink had an idea. Not a puny little idea. A great big super-galactic idea.

If Stink could write one letter, he could write two . . . three . . . four! It would be just like homework. Mrs. D. said practice makes perfect. If he wrote more letters, he could get more free stuff. And if he got more free stuff, he’d be like a bazillionaire!

Stink took out his best writing-a-real-letter paper. At the top it said, FROM THE DESK OF STINK MOODY.

Stink started to write. He wrote and wrote and wrote. He used his best-ever A+ penmanship. He wrote until his hand felt like it was falling off. Three whole letters! Mrs. D. would give him a triple Golden Pen rubber stamp for extra, extra, extra credit.

Once he started, Stink could not stop writing letters. He wrote a letter to Webster (the friend, not the dictionary). He wrote a letter to his other best friend, Elizabeth, who liked to be called Sophie of the Elves. He even wrote a letter to his teacher, telling her how great he was at writing letters.

At school, when Mrs. Dempster put a sample letter on the board, full of mistakes, Stink found every single goof, including
Deer Sirs
and
Yours Untruly
.

“Stink, you really put your thinking cap on today!” said Mrs. D. “Now, who can tell me what the best part of writing a letter is?” she asked.

“When you’re done?” asked Webster.

“Cool stamps?” asked Sophie of the Elves.

“When somebody writes back!” said Mrs. D.

“Especially when they write back with like about a million jawbreakers,” said Stink.

“Speaking of a million, it’s time for math,” said Mrs. D.

Waiting sure was bor-ing. UN-amazing. Stink came home from school and checked the mailbox first thing every day. He did not get one puny letter. Not even a postcard! Not from the candy company that couldn’t spell
cat
. Not from the toy company with the microbot that wouldn’t listen. Not from the city park with no monkeys. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.