Storm Front (The Charistown Series) (Volume 2) (33 page)

“Red means you’re really fucking pissed off,” Lyla finished.
“You’ve been sporting a lot of red streaks lately. But over the past week,
you’ve gone blue and…well, we’re really concerned.”

Lyla’s questioning eyes penetrated Ashley’s armor and she
felt those walls sway once again within her, clear to the point of crashing
down. And here she’d thought her feelings and emotions were hidden. She thought
no one noticed and no one cared to. She should have known better. She should
have known that these two women could see into her soul. They would understand
her pain. Could she finally unload some of her burden? Some of her guilt?

Downing the contents of her glass and pouring another,
Ashley wringed her hands and pulled in a deep breath. “So Ryan and I…” She
looked at Janie and Lyla and realized she would have to go back even further
for her story to make sense.

“Alright, are you sure you want to hear this whole story?”
She rolled the empty glass around in her palms trying to figure out the best
place to start when the glass slipped and fell onto the wooden table. The
clattering sound it made when it collided with the tray startled her.

Janie squeezed her hand and said softly, “Of course, honey.
Please, share with us.”

However, it was Lyla’s, “Christ, Ash, if you want more
tequila just ask for it. There’s no need to get all dramatic,” paired with her
inviting eyes that made Ashley realize she was safe with these girls. With her
friends. It allowed her to finally unlock the suitcases of her past.

“Okay,” she began, “here we go. I met Ryan when I was
fifteen. He was my brother Leo’s best friend…”

THE THREE WOMEN sat on the floor for
hours that Monday, listening to Ashley’s history—from her very first kiss with
Ryan right up until the weather forecast the previous evening.

Tears flowed from three pairs of eyes, gasps escaped from
three different mouths, pain expressed from three different women, but by the
end of the afternoon the story had been shared between them and Ashley felt
like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Not enough to make her forgive
herself entirely, but enough that she felt like she could finally swim instead
of merely keeping her head above water.

“Oh, honey, my God, you’ve been holding all of that in for
more than six years.”

“Janie, don’t look at me that way. This is why I don’t tell
people about it. I can’t deal with the pity looks. It’s over. It’s done. I’ve
moved on. But, I can’t be with Ryan. I just can’t let myself love him. He’d be
better with someone else.”

“Six,” Lyla said out loud, smirking.

“Lyla, what the fuck are you talking about?” Ashley knew
before she even asked the question that she wasn’t going to like the answer
but, stupidly, she asked anyway.

“It’s actually impressive, Janie. I’m impressed with her,”
Lyla said addressing Janie but staring only at Ashley.

“Ly, don’t do this, she needs comfort not confrontation.”
Janie winced at Lyla’s glare.

Ashley sighed dramatically, “Okay, I give in, I’m
listening.”

“In that short, ridiculous statement, you lied six times.
Six!
That’s a lot of bullshit for such a short statement, don’t you think?”

“What the hell, Lyla?” Ashley felt the flush creeping up her
cheeks. She should have known she’d never be able to hide anything from Lyla.
When you spent your life keeping your own secrets you become amazingly adept at
sniffing out other people’s.

Lyla leaned in closer. “You, my sweet, kind, caring friend,
are full of shit. It’s not over. It’s not done. You haven’t moved on, and you
should
be with Ryan. I’ve never seen a connection deeper than the one you two share.
He isn’t better without you, Ashley, he’s merely surviving—the same way you
are. You want to feed yourself garbage, fine, but don’t serve it to us and call
it chocolate…cause we know it’s shit!”

The statement hit Ashley somewhere deep inside and she
squared her shoulders and glared at her friend. “You’re one to talk, Lyla—”

“Okay, girls, let’s rein it in.” Ashley could see the
nervousness creeping its way onto Janie’s face.

“Listen, Ash,” Lyla’s voice softened a fraction, easing some
of the jagged edge off of her tone, “I know I’m being a complete hypocrite. I
realize that, okay? But you’re fucking up something really, really special.”
Lyla ran her long fingers through her ebony hair in what appeared to be
frustration. “My God, Ash, how often do you find someone that devotes their
life to you? That man has spent more than six years listening to you say no.
But eventually he’s going to give up. Is that really what you want?” The pure
pain and frustration in Lyla’s voice was as clear as the sun in the sky. She
really did want to see happiness for her friends. However…

“Lyla.” Exasperation filled Ashley’s tortured body. “Where
have you been? That boy has been whoring around for close to six months now. He’s
had more ass than a public toilet seat. He
has
given up. He
has
moved on.”

Saying it out loud finally made it real, and the agony
flooded her heart, making it hard to breathe. The dam that had been holding
back all of her feelings for Ryan since she was eighteen years old—shattered,
and she was left hanging on to a branch in the middle of the water, praying for
survival. Tears poured down her face.

“I don’t deserve him after all I’ve done. I’ve been horrible
to him for
years
. I pushed him away and locked him out and he’s finally
moved on. I refuse to be like the selfish twits in all of those romance novels
who suddenly decide they want the guy and rush back to him—not giving a damn
that he’s happy without them. I won’t do it.” Her voice cracked and she accepted
the tissue from Janie’s outstretched hand.

“Well,” Lyla shrugged, “you’ve definitely been a bitch to
him, no doubt about that…Ouch! Janie, don’t pinch me.” Lyla pierced Janie with
a frosty stare. “I was agreeing with her. Let me finish before inflicting
bodily harm. Sheesh.”

Lyla turned her attention back to Ashley with her eyes soft
and tender, the way they had been at the beginning of the conversation.
“Sweetie, you deserve only good things. What happened with Leo was
not
your fault. Look at me.”

Lyla paused and waited until Ashley brought her eyes up to
hers before saying, “It wasn’t your fault. What
is
your fault is the
time you are choosing to let slip away from you and Ryan. That you
can
control, that you
can
claim. Seize your time, Ash, because you of all
people know that it doesn’t always last forever.”

Ashley swallowed the lump in her throat along with the
advice her two best girl friends had so willingly offered. The three women
decided to forgo the spa for a day of hanging out with movies, junk food and
talk of the upcoming storm.

There was something freeing about sharing the burden that
had lain solely on her shoulders for so long with people that she trusted.
However, just because the weight had been lightened didn’t mean it had been
completely lifted. The guilt she still harbored over surviving when Leo had
died trying to get to her was still suffocating. The pain she felt over the
years of anguish she’d caused Ryan was still tormenting, and the feeling of not
being good enough still loomed above her head, like thick black clouds
preempting a great big storm.

No, she wasn’t ready to take off her mask, or step out from
behind her curtain. And thank God she didn’t have to yet. She still had her
house, her friends and
Danny’s on Main
—her one true home—to keep her
grounded until she was finally ready to take those steps. And after the day’s
events she knew the time was coming.

She just didn’t know how soon it would be.

She Likes Bribes

“GO HOME, BOYS, thanks for helping
handle stuff around here,” Danny grumbled appreciatively, clapping Ryan, Max,
and Gage on the back before walking them to the front door. They had
congregated at the bar, Tuesday, as per Danny’s request to take some storm
precautions. Ryan looked around and took in his surroundings—taped windows,
stowed awnings, booths covered in plastic, tables and chairs hugged tightly
together in the center of the bar. Yes, this place was braced for a storm. But
was he?

“Ryan,” Danny called from across the bar, “don’t forget to
tell Ashley not to come in tonight.” He looked out of the storm-prepped window
at the driving rain, “The winds are already picking up steam and the worst of
the storm isn’t supposed to hit for another six hours or so. I’m gonna stay
closed until the storm passes. No reason to have any of you guys coming here
when it’s unsafe. No one will be out anyway.”

“Have any you heard from Kyle?” Max questioned. Danny and
Ryan both shook their heads.

“Gee, what a pity,” Gage deadpanned. The only thing that had
stopped Gage from beating the shit out of Kyle—on multiple occasions—was their
mutual friendship with Max. Gage often said that if it weren’t for Max, Kyle
would have disappeared somewhere where no one would ever find him. Ryan wasn’t
hundred percent certain if Gage was joking about that statement. He was
definitely mysterious enough to be scary, so Ryan never deemed it important
enough to ask.

“Gage?” Max lifted his brow.

“What the fuck, brother? I’ve had my own shit to deal with.
Kyle, fucking Marx, ain’t on the top 100 of my ‘to do’ list this week, so don’t
look at me like that.” Ryan watched as Max laughed out loud at Gage’s response.
Most people found Gage intimidating—Ryan was one of them—but not Max. Max
laughed at Gage’s little rant.

“Brother, I can’t take you seriously when you go all badass
like that with me because when you bite back your smile, the fucking dimples in
your cheeks show. What kind of badass biker has dimples? I mean, really?” Max
was howling at his own humor. Ryan watched as Gage pulled his brows together in
what should have been a scowl, but the twitch in his mouth kept the look from
appearing menacing and what did you know, Max was right. As Gage’s lips drew up
into a smirk, two big old dimples miraculously appeared, giving the
larger-than-life biker a soft, more human-like quality.

“They really are kinda cute,” Ryan teased.

“I prefer scary,” Gage rumbled, his thick arms crossed over
his even larger chest. Max’s snicker turned into a full on laugh, which had
Gage laughing too.

“He’s not machine, he’s man,” Max snorted quoting his
favorite line from Rocky IV. “Yeah, Gage, badass? Whatever.”

“Hey, Max, wanna talk about being a big badass?” Gage asked,
with a glimmer in his crystal blue eyes. “Hey, guys, did DeLucca here tell you
about the sweet little book he wrote—”

“Okay, okay,” Max interrupted Gage’s story. “I’m sorry, man,
you’re a big, tough guy.” Max faked a shiver. “Look, I’m all scared of you and
shit.” Gage crossed his thick tattooed arms over his huge muscled chest and
quickly snapped his brows back together.

“So like I was saying,
Maxy
here wanted to win Jane
back, so—”

“Gage.” Max shot a warning look. “Stop. I’m not the only
person this story would embarrass. Think about it man.” Ryan watched the
interaction between the two men and saw the exact moment the realization
clicked in Gage’s face.

“You’re so fucking lucky I…you’re just lucky, DeLucca.” Gage
ran his hand through his shoulder length hair and reached a long arm over to
the bar to grab his leather jacket. “Alright, guys, I’ve gotta head back to the
track to make sure it’s secure before heading over to my grandmother’s house.
Max, you’re gonna head to the garage, right?”

“Yeah, brother, I’ll make sure shit’s tight before I head
home.”

“Drive safely, man.” Ryan shook Gage’s hand and watched him
run out to the parking lot through the sheets of rain.

“I’m gonna get going too. I told Janie I’d stop at the
market before I go home. I don’t want her driving in this.” Max wore the look
of a man completely and totally in love as he talked about the mundane task of
going to the market. Ryan was happy for his close friend, but he felt a small
pang of jealousy deep in his gut.

Sure, he had spent the past six months fooling around with
different women, but that’s what it was—fooling around. All of the relations
were consensual and fun, but they were also empty and meaningless. He’d been
playing a childish game to get the attention of the only woman he wanted, but
it had backfired. She barely even looked at him anymore, let alone spoke to
him. Their friendship had suffered to the point of no return and he was
miserable. He needed help. He needed someone who could point him in the right
direction.

“You better get going too,” Danny said handing Ryan his
jacket.

“You don’t want her being alone too long in this weather.”
The knowing look on Danny’s face had Ryan sliding his arms through his jacket
sleeve and rushing out into the rain.

“Max!” He called, trying to shout above the roar of the
whooshing wind. He held his hand to his face to shield it from the debris that
had been blown up off the street... “Wait up!” Max heard his call and pointed
to the passenger door of his jeep. Ryan quickly climbed in, his clothes
drenched despite the brief journey.

“What’s up, buddy?”

Ryan ran his hands over his face wiping away the stray
droplets that rested on his long dark lashes. “I can’t continue living this
way—being with all these women, pretending I don’t care. It sounded like a bad
idea when you guys suggested it back then, but I went along with it. But Max,
man, it’s killing me, and she won’t admit it but I just know it’s hurting
Ashley too. What the fuck do I do?”

Max’s head fell back to lean against the headrest of the
driver’s seat. “Christ, Ryan, I forgot all about that night. That’s what this
has been all about? Fuck…”

Anxiety started clawing its way up Ryan’s spine. “You…you
forgot about that night? Really? The night you and Kyle told me to move on and
fuck other women, I believe your toast was, ‘The more the merrier.’ You’re a
dick! Jesus, Max, this is my fucking life…and you
forgot
?”

“First of all, Ryan, now that you mention it, I believe I
told you that I
wouldn’t
march random women in front of Ashley. In fact,
I
know
I told you that she’s a tough chick and she scares the hell out
of me when she gets pissed. Second, I was in a bad place myself. You were the
one taking love advice from me and Kyle. Are you crazy? And third, you’re an
adult, dude. At any point you could’ve stopped that crazy shit and reevaluated,
but you didn’t. Don’t blame that on me, that’s all you.”

“Shit.” Ryan released the breath he was holding. “You’re
right. I guess I’m just looking for someone to blame, but it’s not you. I
fucked up. I’m just so tired of being shut out, and I thought if I made her
jealous enough I’d win her back, but instead I’ve lost her completely. Other
than picking her up a couple months ago when you and Janie were still trying to
get your shit together, I haven’t spent any time alone with her. We’re either
with the group or she avoids me. What do I do?”

“No way am I touching this subject because, clearly, I suck
at giving relationship advice. I can, however, point you toward the person who
saved my life.” Ryan waited for Max to continue, but the silence inside the
vehicle stretched on as the rain pounded on the hood of the car. Realization
and Max’s stare hit Ryan square in the face.

“Wait, Lyla helped you with Janie after you tortured that
poor woman, right?” Max nodded his confirmation.

“Lyla is pretty fucking smart when it comes to this shit. My
only advice— she likes bribes, so don’t go over there empty handed.”

“I need to
pay
her for her services?” Ryan was
flabbergasted.

“No, you idiot. Don’t you pay attention to anybody besides
Ashley?” Ryan thought about that question and the answer was honestly, no.
Ashley’s wellbeing and happiness always came first. Everyone else came much
further down the list.

“No, man, I don’t.”

Max clapped Ryan’s shoulder as he turned the key in his
ignition. “Raspberry truffles, Ry. The ones in the gold box from the store down
the street. Now get out, I’ve got shit to do.”

Ryan exited the car and stood in the rain, watching Max
drive away. Energy filled his body as the possibilities started to flood his
mind,
Lyla, huh
?
Okay. I’ll go see Lyla
.

The grocery store was mobbed with people trying to fill
their carts with bottled water, bread, eggs, and batteries. Ashley had
purchased the water and batteries two days prior so she was just trying to
stock up on non-perishable items in case the power lines snapped. Memories of
her youth swept through her mind—images of her and Leo eating Fruit-Roll-Ups
and dry cereal until their bellies hurt. Usually by the second or third day
without electricity they would be sick of the junk food and be begging their
nannies for fruit or peanut butter sandwiches.

Her memories floated away as, “Demons” by
Imagine Dragons
started playing on her phone.

“What’s up, Ryan?” She said cheerfully. Keeping up the
faux-friendly tone was becoming increasingly difficult as their relationship
became more and more strained over the past month or so. She had contemplated
discussing her feelings with him, but it felt like he’d been avoiding her. She
had barely seen or heard from him other than text messages or Post-It notes in
days. I mean, really? Who used Post-it notes anymore?

“Where are you, Princess?” Just the sound of his voice
asking that simple question affected every part of her body.

“I’m at the market getting food in case we end up losing
power during this thing.” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the word
‘hurricane’. One of the reasons she’d chosen to stay in Charistown,
Pennsylvania was because of the infrequency of major weather events—this was
the first hurricane to hit the small town in the years since she had been
living there. “Is there anything specific you want me to pick up for you?”

“No, Ash, anything you get we’ll make do with until we can
get out after the storm passes. So hurry up and get home.”

Ashley froze mid-step, what did he mean by ‘we’ll make do
with’? The thought of having to deal with one of his many bar flies or music
groupies made her want to vomit. There was no way, she was going back to her
house if she was gonna be trapped there hearing them all day and all night. It
would kill her. “Ash, you okay?”

With her mouth suddenly bone dry, Ashley tried to swallow
before responding. “Ry, listen, I know that you and I aren’t…” She searched her
vocabulary, trying to find the right words to convey her thoughts but, like the
moisture in her mouth, they escaped her.

“We’re not what, Ash?” Ryan’s voice sounded dark, serious,
and maybe even a little nervous.

“Umm, I don’t even know what we are any more, Ryan, I’m not
even sure if we’re friends at this point. God…look, it’s ridiculous to discuss
this on the phone while I’m standing in the market and you’re…where ever the
hell you’ve been lately. But all I’m asking is, can you please not bring one of
your, and I use this term loosely,
women
back to the house tonight? Who
knows if we’re gonna get stuck in tomorrow, and I just can’t deal with another
one of your Wailing Wendy’s screaming through the wall. Okay?”

The pause on the other end of the line felt endless. Was he
upset with her for asking him to put a pause on his pussy party? Tough shit. It
was her house. Her name was on the mortgage not his, so if he didn’t like it he
could do as she’d suggested and move the hell out. Yet, as soon as that thought
hit her consciousness, panic struck just as hard. What if he left? How would
she move on without him?