Summer Burns (27 page)

"
Did he propose?
"

I shook my head.

Mom gave me that look again.
"
Summer, did you talk to him? Really talk to him?
"

About that time, the front door came open, and Emma and Paula came in. My daughter ran over to me and started hugging me.

"
Mommy, Grandma Bettes said you got sick. Are you okay?
"'

"
I
'
m getting better, honey.
"
I stroked her brow, brushing a loose strand from her pony tail out of her face.
"
Go put your backpack up, and maybe later, we can color.
"

"
Okay Mommy.
"
She darted to her room.

I just caught the tail end of Mom telling Paula what happened. And Paula, who
'
d always disliked Shelby, looked surprisingly disappointed.

She glanced at me.
"
Really Summer?
"

"
Since when did I get two mothers?
"
I muttered and sipped on my tea.

"
There are better ways to handle those situations,
"
Paula said.
"
Besides, I thought you had broken up with Mister Matthew.
"

I raised my eyebrow.

"
You don
'
t need that aggravation in your life,
"
Paula said.
"
After all, if you were to date him, then you
'
d have to leave, and that
'
s just not acceptable.
"

I blinked.
"
What?
"

"
You can
'
t take Emma away, she
'
s all I have left of Jake!
"

Like the clouds had parted and sunshine finally shone on me, I understood.
"
Is that why you don
'
t want me dating?
"

"
I never said that.
"

"
You always say that.
"

"
Well, that
'
s because you
'
re not ready. Emma should be older, understand better who her daddy is. Not just meet any man who stumbles into your life.
"

"
It
'
s been three years.
"

"
And if you took Emma away to be with another military man--
"

"
You
'
d lose your son all over again,
"
Mom said.

"
Yes.
"

So now I got it.

I totally got it. So much, it made me cry.

Chapter Twenty-Two

A week later

"
Yes sir,
"
Matthew said into his phone.
"
I
'
ll have that paperwork to you tomorrow. No sir, I
'
m not sure what I
'
m going to do with myself.
"

This started the doctor into a full-on lecture about multiple websites for the recently discharged, as well as employment opportunities in the civilian fields.

Matthew only partially listened before saying goodbye. He
'
d already checked out all those other sites. Figuring out what he was going to do with himself seemed like a daunting task.

Especially since all he could think about was Summer Bettes, back up in Kansas. He
'
d considered going back, just to talk to her one more time.

But really, the distance made things much clearer.

At least for him. While he hadn
'
t intended to, he
'
d developed feelings for her--stronger than he thought possible. For Summer and for little Emma. Even now, whenever he went to the store, he
'
d see something with Disney princesses on it, and he
'
d want to pick it up for Emma.

He would have to force himself to put whatever it was down.

He considered making her a little care box and sending it to Emma, but his rational said that would be harder for Emma, if he sent her little packages like that. Because he wasn
'
t sure if he
'
d ever see her again.

Or Summer.

But oh how he wanted to.

He
'
d considered, after all this was over, all the final check-out stuff was done, that he
'
d go back, see how she was doing.

If only one more time, to make sure.

For Jake.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that, one, dumbass.

Because he couldn
'
t help thinking about her--like every minute of every day. He wanted her for all the sensual reasons. He wanted her for all the laughter.

And he wanted to be there for her, to comfort her when she was upset or sad or cranky. She gave him a purpose that he lacked now.

And now that was gone.

He sighed as he reached for the front door to the little bungalow he
'
d been renting just off base. His UPS delivery guy never knocked, just left packages on the porch, and it drove him crazy when he was checking for something to arrive.

He opened the door and froze.

Summer stood on his porch, her hand poised to knock.

He blinked.
Was he dreaming
?
"
What are you doing here?
"
he asked.

"
Making sure.
"

"
Making sure of what?
"

"
Making sure that I
'
m not making a colossal mistake, running away from you.
"

"
I think I
'
m the one that left.
"

"
Because I told you to go.
"

He nodded. No denying facts.

"
I was running away, though, long before you got Shelby
'
s phone number.
"
She shifted back and forth, fidgeting, picking at the trim around the door, not looking at him.
"
If I liked you, then that meant that things between us had to progress. If it progressed, then I would marry you. And marrying you meant being a military wife again, and moving and not being around my family, and pretending to be happy, while I was miserable. I couldn
'
t do that again.
"

"
So what changed?
"

"
I
'
m more miserable now than I ever was being married.
"

"
Why?
"

"
Because, Matthew Hennessey, I think I
'
m in love with you.
"

His heart soared. Because he was pretty sure he was in love with her too. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

He pulled her inside and closed the door--no reason to let the neighbors see his romantic action going on.

When they paused to catch their breaths, Summer glanced around.
"
What
'
s with all the boxes? You moving?
"

He nodded.

She sighed.
"
Where?
"

"
Barrum,
"
he said.

She blinked.
"
What? You
'
re getting transferred to Barrum?
"

He shook his head.
"
My service is over. I
'
m getting discharged. That
'
s why I was in Barrum. I was training some replacements.
"

"
Wait, what? You
'
re getting out?
"

He nodded.

"
Why didn
'
t you tell me?
"

"
You wouldn
'
t let me. Any time I brought up the future, you cut me off.
"

She ran her hand over her face.
"
I feel so stupid. If I had just listened
..."

"
It
'
s amazing what you learn if you listen instead of assume.
"

"
I guess so,
"
Summer said.
"
Do you forgive me?
"

"
I do. And do you forgive me?
"

"
For what?
"

"
For not telling you everything upfront. That I only have six more months in.
"

"
Six months isn
'
t that long.
"

"
I didn
'
t want you to think I
'
d only looked you up because I was hitting on you.
"

"
You mean you didn
'
t?
"

He shook his head.
"
Jake really did ask me to.
"

Her eyes got all misty.
"
You were there? When he died?
"

He nodded.
"
It was--
"

"
I don
'
t want to--
"
She shook her head.
"
Wait. I do want to know. Tell me.
"

And he did. He told her about the incursion and the fight, the noise, and then the silence. The memories that stained his mind, haunting him like a nightmare that only seemed to ebb when she was near.

Without her around, even when it was just a few hours a week, they came back, harsher, darker, and worse than ever.

Somehow, promising Jake that day had allowed him to think of something positive in the future, in the world.

Something to look forward to.

Walking away from her, well it only unlocked the darkness hidden inside him all this time, the stuff he
'
d been trying to deal with, and wondered if he
'
d ever figure it out.

Tears poured down her face as she listened, but she didn
'
t once interrupt, or even look away from him as he spoke.

"
He asked me to make sure that you and Emma were okay. And to color with her. Because Emma liked to color.
"

Summer sobbed, and wrapped her arms around him.

"
I couldn
'
t say no to that. How could I?
"

"
No one could,
"
She whispered.
"
Thank you. Thank you so much.
"

"
He was thinking of you in his last moments. He wanted me to take care of you. To make sure that you were safe and happy.
"

"
I almost am,
"
she said.

"
What do you need, Summer?
"

She looked into his eyes.
"
I need you, Matthew. I need you.
"

"
You have me. I love you, Summer.
"

"
I love you too.
"

Epilogue

One month later

"
See, that
'
s gonna help,
"
I said as I stepped outside with Winter. They were finishing installing the awning over the back door. Already the back entrance was cooler with the bit of shade it created.