Sunshine (25 page)

“Are you excited?” Trei asks, draping her dress, zipped in its black garment bag over the back of my couch. Her hair is a lot straighter than it usually is, and it swooshes gracefully down her back in black ripples as she turns to me.
I make some kind of inaudible sound that’s meant to mean no, but she takes it as a yes.
“Yeah me too.” She smiles.
Stevie and Jade come up with the idea of pulling my hair into a complicated up do like an old Hollywood actress. I was just going to straighten it and leave it down, but they weren’t going to let me get away with it.
I want to give them this. They were so happy when they found out I was going, and I don’t want them to think I don’t want to go, or that it’ll be a repeat of what happened last time.
Stevie and Trei motion for me to sit down on a stool that Jade drags in from my kitchen and places in front of my full length mirror.
“You guys don’t have to make a big deal out of this,” I say.
Jade sits on the edge of my bed, bouncing. “Now why would we do that?” he asks innocently.
I roll my eyes but smile. I’m really grateful I have them. I’m happy that they want to help, and that they care about what my hair looks like.
Trei takes my hair out of my pony tail, leaving a thin magenta veil for me to see through. Jade gets up and joins her at the mirror. “Did you find the curling iron?” Trei calls to Stevie, who is rummaging through the cabinets in my bathroom.
“I don’t think it’s in here,” he yells back.
“It’s probably in the bathroom upstairs,” I say.
Stevie emerges. “Okay, I’ll be right back,” he announces as he heads upstairs; Trei follows.
Jade combs through my hair with his fingers, pushing it away from my forehead so I can now see him in the mirror. “I’m really excited for you. That you’re going to the dance and everything,” he says, talking to the back of my head.
“It means a lot to my friends. They want me there.” I shrug.
“Including Myles,” he says it, and I was expecting it, but it doesn’t sound like he’s trying to catch me. He sounds happy I’ve made another friend. “He likes you,” Jade points out.
I don’t have a response for that.
“Do you like him?” Jade pretends to be too preoccupied with my hair to look at me.
I try to be nonchalant, but I also don’t want to lie to Jade. I mean, he’s my brother, he just wants to know. “He’s my friend. So I guess I like him.”
He smiles. “I’m happy you’re going with him. He seems like a good person.”
“He is, Jade.” I smile back, but I don’t look into the mirror, afraid Jade will see my face.
“And I think this’ll be…you know, good for you,” his voice cracks a little bit when he says it and when I look up, he’s staring at me in the mirror, eyes misty. I can hear Trei and Stevie clunking down the stairs again.
“I’ll be fine, Jade,” I say to his reflection. “Myles is better. Myles is…” I can’t think of what to say so I grab his hand from the back of my head and hold it to my face. “It won’t be like last time,” I whisper. I can’t even guess what he thinks happened last time. If he thinks Jack just beat me up or if he’s closer to the truth.
Jade smiles like he believes me and takes his hand from mine to wipe tears from his face. He has just enough time before Stevie and Trei come back in with the curling iron.

When
they’re done, I have two sections in front, by my forehead that are teased and then pinned back. That gives me a fifties kind of a look. The rest is secured to the base of my skull, letting tight thick curls fall, but not so low that they touch my back.
It looks beautiful. A little out of place with my New York Dolls T-shirt and jeans, but still.
Trei also puts my make up on for me because I have no clue how I’m supposed to do it with hair like this. It turns out really pretty. She makes my eye shadow grey and smoky, which makes my green eyes seem to pop out. She applies this dark purple lip stain; I get a little worried but she blots it off until it becomes red. It’s kind of subtle, like I bit my lip or something. Plus it won’t get smudged.
By that time, we have to change into our dresses. I’m careful not to mess up my hair or face as I take off my T-shirt and then slip the white dress over my head. I glance at myself in the mirror when I’m done. I’m not sure what I was expecting to see, but I see myself. Not someone trying to be someone else, or someone who’s had bad things happen to her. I actually look…pretty. And that’s always hard for me to admit, but somehow, right now, it’s even harder to deny it.
“C’mon, Sophie,” I hear Trei say from outside the bathroom door.
“Okay.” I fumble with the doorknob.
Trei has braided two sections of her hair and secured them at the back of her head. Her dress is truly Trei. It’s an electric blue, floor-length dress that has delicate, ruffled, tulle around the neckline.
“Whoa,” I hear her gasp.
I roll my eyes. I can’t look that good.
“Wow,” Stevie says.
Jade takes my hand, twirling me around so he can get a better look, I guess. “Sis. You look amazing.”
I smile a little. “Thanks.”
Soon the doorbell rings and suddenly the whole thing seems real. Myles and Boo are here. Myles is my date. We’re going to the dance.
I fight the urge to slip into my I'm-uncomfortable-I-must-throw-up mode. After a second or two, it passes. Taking a deep breath, I tell myself what I told Jade: this is different. I leave all of the memories of the last time I went to a dance behind me in my room, and I walk up the stairs.
Boo, Trei, and Myles are all in the living room. Boo is wearing a powder blue tux that looks straight out of the 70's. But Myles looks awesome. He's wearing black pants with a matching dress jacket over a turquoise button up shirt. The first few buttons are undone. No tie. He looks good. The color of his shirt makes the blue of his eyes shoot out when he smiles. Some of his dark brown hair brushes his eyelashes when he looks up at me.
“Hey guys,” I say nonchalantly. I try not to stare at Myles. It's hard. “Nice suit, Boo,” I tease.
“What? Like you're the only one who gets to stand out?” he says.
Before I can have an awkward, not knowing what to say to Myles in front of everyone thing, Stevie and Jade come in and start snapping pictures. It's easier to just pretend we're all going as friends when they pose us in various ways, none of them romantic. None of them with me standing in front of Myles, his arms wrapped around me as we both smile nervously.
Thank God for that.
After the pictures are taken, Stevie and Jade leave for their friend’s art show, telling me that they'll see me again on Tuesday when they get back. Stevie and Jade hug us individually and tell us to have fun. Jade’s hug for me is long, like he doesn’t want to let go. But I break away first and smile before I can think that Myles can pick up on anything.
On our way out, Boo informs me that there’s no room in his van because his drums are still in there. So I roll my eyes and climb into Myles’ passenger seat. I have to face it, Myles looks
really
good in his suit. I don't know what to say to him, so I settle on asking him about his dog. I know, but it's the only thing I can think of. “So...” is how I start.
He smiles at me as he glances behind him to back out of the driveway, “So.”
“You were watching me. With your dog, I mean.” It’s not so much of a question as it’s just me wanting conformation that I’m not entirely out of my mind.
He nods as we get onto the main road. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He pauses for a second. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
“No,” I say. “It’s actually kind of...sweet.”
“Well, I won’t make it a habit.” He laughs.
He glances at me again and smiles, his cheeks are pink, and his eyes look iceberg blue. I smile back, feeling less self-conscious. He’s the same Myles under all of those nice clothes.
When we get to the school parking lot, I’m immediately reminded of prom all over again. There are girls wearing over-sized-puffy-princess-dresses, some wearing tiaras in their hair. A lot of the couples are coming out of limos. Are these people fricken serious? It’s just a dance.
Everything seems to hit me in waves. I realize the reason everyone was supposed to wear blue is because everything around us is white. Like a snow man threw up all over the gym. There’s music booming, the dance floor is dimly lit.
I feel like I'm going to puke as a techno-version of “Walking In A Winter Wonderland” starts playing. We lose Boo and Trei momentarily in the muggy dimness of the gym where every person is dancing and grinding and being disgusting with each other. We finally make it to a free table where we all sit down, and I feel a lot better being away from the dance floor. People are so close to each other that it looks like it’s hard to breathe. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that part before.
“Don’t worry,” Trei says, maybe noticing the look on my face. “I think they only play the Christmas music until most of the people in the lobby are cleared out, then they play better songs.”
“Define ‘better songs,’” I say, kind of relived she thinks I’m nervous because of the music and not anything else.
“Well, you know, dance music,” she clarifies.
I stare at Myles with a mock-horrified face, but I still don’t like the idea of bad pop music all night. Myles laughs. “You don’t have to dance the
whole
time,” he says. “We can just sit here.”
“Good!” Trei says, “Then you guys can hang out with each other while Boo and I tear it up.”
Boo returns with a blue plastic cup in his hand. “Punch is already spiked,” he says, chugging it.
“We’re all leaving you here if you get drunk, Boo,” Trei warns.
A techno song I recognize comes on next, it’s Passion Pit's “Sleepy Head,” and I actually like this one.
“
Omg
! I love this song!” Boo screams as he slams down his cup. Trei gets up with him to make her way to the dance floor. She glances back like she’s not sure if she wants to leave me there.
“Go ahead.” I laugh.
She smiles at me and then Myles, “I’ll be back,” she says quickly before Boo is dragging her toward the mass of heaving bodies.
Myles and I try to talk, but the music is so loud we can barely hear each other. Just as the genius DJ the school hired decides to lower the music, Barbie comes to our table and sits down. She’s wearing a mini dark blue tube dress with white stripes that wrap around her, making her look like a frost bitten candy cane. Her hair looks like she spent a lot of time on it before she got here, but it’s messed up from sweating and dancing.
“Hey guys,” she says to us like we're friends. I don’t say anything for a minute, but I guess it’s better to just be civil than to piss each other off.
“Hey,” I respond flatly.
She leans her head on her hand and smiles, her eyes glassy. “I’m drunk,” she states.
I laugh at her, because it's impossible not to. “I can see that.”
She ignores me. “Isn’t it, like, sooooooo pretty in here?”
I don’t answer, I'm kind of done talking to her. I think I’ve moved on from being threatened by Barbie. Without Jack, she’s just another stupid girl.
She stares from Myles to me and then from me to Myles. “You guys come together?” she asks, burping as she does. Classy.
Before I can answer, Myles does. “We both came here with our friends.”
“Oh,” she says. “Then would you like to dance, Myles?”
Bitch.
She winks at him. Myles looks like he’s not sure what he should do. I mean, it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t want to dance with her, but I’m guessing he doesn’t want to tell her anything that would make me upset, like:
oh no, I’m saving all my dance moves for Sophie
, or something.
He and I both know that if he tells her no, she’ll tell everyone we’re going out, which I don’t want, because...well, it makes it too final, too real, and I’m not ready for that. But if he says yes, she’s going to be touching my date.
The thought of her touching Myles makes me want to claw her eyes out.
“We’re sitting here because we don’t dance,” I shoot back at her. She frowns. I sigh. “Didn’t you come with someone?” I say in a tone that says,
can you leave us alone now
?
“Yeah. Christoph, over there,” she says, nodding over to the dance floor where there’s a really tall guy wearing a matching dark blue, white striped, dress shirt, doing dance moves like the sprinkler and the running man. By himself. “He’s the exchange student from Germany,” she tells us like we care. “He’s hott, but not very bright.” She rolls her eyes. “And he's drunk.”
I have to hold in a laugh.
“Well,” she says, smiling and standing up from the table. “You guys have fun,” she slurs, as she hobbles away.
“She’s so strange,” Myles comments.
Happy that there doesn't seem to be anything weird going on in her mind, or else Myles would have brought it up, I agree. “Yeah.” I smile.
“So, I kind of got you something,” Myles says to me after Boo and Trei have been dancing for a while. They haven’t played a slow song yet, which I was willing to give a try.
“Why?” I ask, off guard.
He shrugs while grinning at me, “Why not?”
I don’t have a response for that, so I shrug too.
“I have it in my locker,” he tells me. “Do you want to wait here, or do you want to come with me?”
I look around and think for about half a second before I come to the conclusion that I do not want to listen to another dance song. “I'll go with you,” I decide. “My brain feels like it’s going to seep out of my ears any second.”
As soon as we’re out of the gym, I feel better. The music instantly sounds muffled, and it’s not as dark and muggy out in the hall as it is in there.
“C’mon.” He leads me down the hall then stops me. “My locker’s just around the corner,” he says. “I want to surprise you.”
“Of course you do.”
Myles takes my hand and squeezes it for a second before disappearing around the corner.
So this night is turning out to be kind of awesome. I’m having fun despite the blaring music and Barbie encounter, Myles and I haven’t had any super awkward moments or anything, I’m making it through the dance.
“Long time no see,” I hear a voice say from behind me. I know for a fact that if I turn around to see who it is, it won’t be Myles. I don’t want to turn around, but I don’t know why. I have this sick feeling in my gut. “You don’t want to talk to me?” the voice asks. It’s not a familiar voice, but I have a familiar feeling: Fear.
But that's stupid, I don't even know that this person’s talking to me. They could be talking to their date. I’m just going to turn around and wait for Myles away from these people. They probably want to make out or something, and I don’t want to be around for that.
Then I see him.
Jack is standing a few feet away from me. There’s no one else in the hall. He’s not talking to anyone but me.
I try not to throw up, which is my very first instinct. Why hadn’t I recognized his voice? The one he made sure was burned into my memory. Jack’s voice always sounded kind of slow, like he was high all the time or something. But this doesn’t even sound like a sober Jack. His voice is lower and deeper than usual, like it’s not his voice at all.
And that’s when I realize it. His eyes are a dark black color. Jacks eyes, like so many other things about that night that I’ve had nightmares about, are impossible to forget. They were always grey.
His dirty blond hair is messed up. He’s wearing a white, ripped up t-shirt and blue plaid pajama pants. Like he just woke up and decided to come to the dance.
I feel like I’m going to fall over. Not only is Jack here in front of me, but he’s here in front of me
like this.
Just when I think I’m going to black out from mental and emotional overload, Jack moves. And he moves too fast, even for Jack. I lean my back against the lockers as flat as I can. Maybe if I do this, I’ll sink into them and he’ll go away.
I’m just about to scream when Jack moves even closer. His hands press flat against the lockers behind me. His arms are like blinders on either side of my head, blocking my view of anything but him and his face that doesn’t even seem to belong to him.
I start hyperventilating, but I can’t say anything. I feel dizzy, like I'm going to pass out, but I know I can’t. Who knows what could happen if I do. Suddenly, he shakes his head rapidly back and forth. His black eyes turn grey for a split second.
“Sophie?” he says, his voice sounding like it always had, but like he doesn't know where he is. Then he shakes his head again, and his eyes are instantly back to black.
I gasp, but I’m not sure if it’s because I’m scared or if I’m just trying to get air.
“We should go for a walk,” The deeper voice says, and he grins. It scares me because he doesn’t look Jack evil, he looks
pure
evil.
Then he grabs my wrist and starts pulling me. I try to pull away, but it feels like he’s going to break my hand.
“Let her go,” I hear Myles say in a low voice. We both turn to face him. He looks like he’s going to kill someone. And at this point, he could go right ahead, and I would not be more freaked out.
“Myles,” Jack, or whoever this person is says to him.
“Let. Go,” he repeats.
Jack-but-not-really-Jack stares at my hand like it’s a joke, and lets it drop like it’s something he doesn’t want to be touching anyway.
He walks up to Myles. This is exactly what I do not want. I don’t care if this is really Jack, or some kind of mental break down Jack; I’ve never wanted them to be face to face. It makes everything way too real, on top of everything being so weird. I mean, what exactly is going on with his eyes and voice? Is he on acid or something?
“I’m just curious,” he says to Myles. “Does she scream for
you
?”
My heart pounds. Myles remains still, clenching his fists at his sides. “I have to admit. I did not care for it much,” Jack says in that deep voice. “She screams a lot.” Then he turns, smiles at me and says, “See you around.” He casually walks down the hall and toward the back doors, leaving Myles and I alone with each other.