Read Survival of the Ginnest Online

Authors: Aimee Horton

Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour

Survival of the Ginnest (13 page)

BOOK: Survival of the Ginnest
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January 18, 2011 at
23:25

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
- Caffeine.

January 19, 2011 at
8:12

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has just been told to sit down and eat her toast
properly by her 2 year old son. Hmm.

January 19, 2011 at
8:17

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks the naughty spot should include superglue to
ensure the naughty child stays stuck to it.

January 19, 2011 at
11:09

8 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
feels a bit guilty that she's just convinced The
Monster that making Angel Delight is baking.

January 19, 2011 at
15:04

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has a feeling a horrible, snotty, tear stained child
is asleep on the top floor landing. HURRAH GIN TIME!

January 19, 2011 at
19:24

11 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
*needs* to buy some new clothes.

January 20, 2011 at
11:03

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
isn't quite sure her husband understands the concept
of giving her a lie in. Bringing the kids to bed, turning the TV on
and moaning about how tired he really is doesn't cut it.

January 22, 2011 at
8:44

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is not loving the milky sick pattern on her PJs. It
doesn't look good and it doesn't smell good.

January 23, 2011 at
8:03

7 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
wants to know where the "dirty bogey” that was up The
Monster’s nose has ended up as it's not there any more.

January 23, 2011 at
8:45

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is wondering why she wanted kids again? poos and
screams during bath time. 24 mins left.

January 23, 2011 at
18:36

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is hoping that Diet Coke and tea will give her the
strength she needs to last the day when she's already had “Uh oh
Mummay, Mummay juice spill/I broke it/Mummays purse allll
gone”.

January 24, 2011 at
11:20

9 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is starving, but very proud that she scraped The
Monster’s left over Spaghetti Bolognese into the bin (and covered
it with coffee from the filter to avoid temptation!)

January 24, 2011 at
16:35

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is choosing carbs and gin over a run tonight.
Fail

January 24, 2011 at
18:48

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
- Happy 3 months Chubster x

January 25, 2011 at
9:45

10 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks if she hears "No, Mummay!” one more time she
may jump out of the window.

January 26, 2011 at
11:23

7 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks it's a good job her kids are cute, because
otherwise they'd be out with the wheelie bin by now.

January 26, 2011 at
20:32

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
wonders if nursery does 24/7 care?

January 27, 2011 at
7:13

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
just finished dealing with mammoth toddler meltdown
from inside NEXT to outside Asda Living, all because he wanted new
shoes.

January 28, 2011 at
12:57

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has been super busy, but she's not quite sure what
with!

January 28, 2011 at
19:02

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has a poo stain on her left boob. Well, not the
actual boob, the lovely black top she’s wearing. This does not bode
well.

January 29, 2011 at
11:25

10 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris is
testing the work waters again tomorrow -
ARGH!

January 31, 2011 at
19:54

10 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
had a good first day back at work yesterday and is
back with her monkeys for fun and mess today!

February 2, 2011 at
8:37

6 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
- favourite quote ever, "Mummy is hot hot
gorgeous"

February 2, 2011 at
14:00

13 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
hasn't seen the impact on her tummy after having
salad for tea. She is still starving too. Fail

February 5, 2011 at
20:30

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has just found the television remote after more than
two months of searching.

February 9, 2011 at
11:44

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is wondering when 2 became the new
teenager?!

February 9, 2011 at
18:05

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has plans to be a domestic goddess today.
Unfortunately they require shifting bottom from the
sofa.

February 10, 2011 at
8:50

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
- One word: Pancakes.

February 11, 2011 at
8:29

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has opened the bar with a glass of red.

February 11, 2011 at
20:06

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
- This morning is sponsored by tea.

February 12, 2011 at
8:28

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is eating a Creme Egg and reading Elle while watching
The Monster and Daddy play in soft play hell. Well, not watching
them at all, she’s looking after the baby!

February 13, 2011 at
12:51

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
doesn't really enjoy the feeling of baby sick in the
cup of her hand but at least the bedding is saved.

February 15, 2011 at
18:26

4 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is disappointed The Chubster doesn't like baby
porridge.

February 18, 2011 at
8:13

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is considering hiding from her children in the
loft.

February 18, 2011 at
17:17

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is meant to be doing some work tonight, however, the
wine is calling. Argh! Decisions, decisions!

February 20, 2011 at
20:02

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is feeling a little bit soppy after The Monster told
her he was "Berry Appy" today.

February 20, 2011 at
20:38

9 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has opened the bar a whole hour late.

February 22, 2011 at
20:02

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has no children for another hour (thank goodness for
sleepovers at The Outlaws) and is intending to take a shower
without somebody hammering on the door and screaming.

February 23, 2011 at
8:49

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks it's amazing how long you'll put up with being
kicked in the head when it means you can stay in bed.

February 26, 2011 at
7:31

11 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
- Dear Chubster. Please stop snoring, it's doing my
head in.

February 28, 2011 at
23:52

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks that she won't bother coming home from work
again if she continues to be greeted by tantrums, sick and a late
opening to the bar

March 2, 2011 at
19:25

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has just had her last Friday being at home with the
kids. Next week, FREEDOM!

March 4, 2011 at
18:13

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is unsure where her son has learnt to “smack his ass”
when dancing. Slightly worrying.

March 5, 2011 at
17:06

9 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
knows everything is going to be ok. She has
gin.

March 7, 2011 at
19:53

7 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks she might as well just stay awake all
night.

March 7, 2011 at
23:17

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has stuffed crust pizza.

March 9, 2011 at
19:52

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has her eye on a classy combination of Mini Eggs and
a glass of Merlot.

March 10, 2011 at
19:02

6 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has just been told by a two year old to sit down and
eat her sandwich. Happy Birthday to Me.

March 11, 2011 at
12:10

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
thinks that The Chubster could have made the effort
and stayed asleep through her dinner to make up for the “impromptu
bath in Costa's sink due to poo” debacle earlier.

March 12, 2011 at
17:38

9 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is thinking thank God it's only 5 more minutes until
she opens the bar! It's been a long, poo- and tantrum-filled
day.

March 12, 2011 at
18:56

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
isn't abusing the Calpol recommendations to try and
enhance sleep. Honest!

March 12, 2011 at
23:34

5 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
is putting the kids to bed early.

March 13, 2011 at
18:29

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has gin and isn't afraid to use (drink)
it.

March 13, 2011 at
19:39

2 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
was going to keep the bar shut tonight, however a
glass of red may help her speed e-mail!

March 14, 2011 at
19:52

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
has caught the family cold but refuses to moan about
it to prove a point.

March 15, 2011 at
20:08

6 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
really wishes the scales wouldn't say ERROR every
time she stands on them.

March 19, 2011 at
10:48

3 people like
this

 

Dottie
Harris
doesn't think she achieved much today.

March 21, 2011 at
19:44

1 person likes
this

 

Dottie
Harris
hates that feeling when you find damp pants on a
toddler, but have no idea where the puddle to go with it
is.

BOOK: Survival of the Ginnest
3.63Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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