Sweet Jayne (23 page)

He pulls away and a murderous glare paints his features into something scary. After such a long spell with Logan, I can’t help but cower away from his rage that seems to pulsate from him. When he notices my fear, his gaze softens.

“Baby, I…”

My bottom lip quivers and I close my eyes when his hand strokes my cheek ever so gently. I wish we had more time. But the crushing reality is I’ve already been out here for far too long.

“Hold on a second,” I blurt out. “I’ll be right back and then you need to leave. I promise I’ll find you again when I can talk. But now’s not the time. Donovan, I swear to you it’ll be soon. Trust me.”

The hardened expression on his face, though, isn’t aimed at me. He’s angry for me. If he only knew all the reasons to be angry, he’d toss me over his shoulder kicking and screaming to take me far, far away from this hellhole.

For one brief second, I almost beg him to.

But one glance into his shimmering blue eyes, I am reminded that I cannot.

This is my path. For now.

He groans when I run into the house to grab a couple of eggs. I can explain away my absence to Logan if I tell him a chatty neighbor stopped by to borrow some eggs. Once I’m back outside, Donovan wastes no time finding my lips and smashing me against the wall with his undying love.

“I love you, baby. I fucking love you so much.”

My body craves to connect with his. To prolong our moment together. To freeze time and make love to him right here on this porch.

“You know I love you,” I assure him. I want to make him understand. I want to pick up the pieces that belong to my heart and run off with Donovan Jayne. But I can’t. “We’re not together anymore though. I’m with Logan.”

He jerks away as if I’ve slapped him and his lip curls up. Confusion is written all over his face. But then it happens. A flicker in his soulful eyes. The man has direct access into my head via my own eyes. I
need
for him to see that it’s not him. There’s more. And he sees.
Thank God, he sees.
“You may be doing something here,” he motions behind me at the house. A growl of frustration on his part. “For now...” I shiver as he continues. “I get you have reasons, baby. Truly, I do. But you are not
with
Logan. You’ll always be
with
me even when you’re not. We both know who your heart has always belonged to.”

“
With
you,” I agree with a brave attempt at a smile that wobbles away, giving way to sadness. “I miss you and will always love you. We just can’t
be
together. Not right now.”

His brows are pulled together in a frown that has my heart aching. The frown is a familiar one that makes me want to tear this house apart with my own two hands. That frown is what spurs me on. “I won’t wait forever now that I know where you are…”

I hold up the two eggs and force them into his hands. “I know but please trust I’ll have this sorted out soon enough,” I say firmly as tears stream down my cheeks. “Now go before you fuck it all up.” When I bite out the last of my words, he winces at my tone.

I ache to soothe away his heartache and pain. To flay open my heart and explain everything to the man who loves me more than anything in this world.

“Si me amas, déjame.”
If you love me, leave me.

His face crumples and it delivers a final blow to my heart. Leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss to my lips. “I do love you, Nadia. Always.”

All I can do is sob in return. Donovan, my best friend. My lover. My hero. My entire world. And I pushed him away without explanation aside from the vague letter I’d sent. First I left his side three years ago and now I’m trying to hide from him under Logan’s roof. I can only imagine the horror that is flitting through his head right now. The thick betrayal coursing through his veins. If I could sink my teeth into his flesh and suck it all away, I would. Having Donovan seeming so devastated is almost more than I can bear. I may be strong but even warriors have a weakness.

Donovan makes me drop all of my armor.

Donovan makes me vulnerable.

Which is exactly why he must leave before I do something incredibly stupid with ripple effects that will continue to stab at my heart until the day I die.

I watch him as he storms off to his car. Once he flings open the door to his newest black Lexus, his gaze meets mine. I expect to see anger or sadness reflected under the moonlight. But what I see terrifies me even more.

What I see is understanding.

What I see is determination.

And when Donovan Jayne sets his mind to something, he throws every ounce of himself into it until he gets what he wants.

What he wants is me…and right now, he simply can’t have me.

“A
re you Amethyst?”

A woman with a sweet smile and messy blonde hair looks up from her phone to regard me. Her nearly purple eyes—eyes that exactly match her sister’s—peer back at me curiously. Despite being short like Ashley, Amethyst is built like a runway model. She has high, naturally pink cheekbones and a cute upturned nose. Shoulder-length waves of hair frame her exotic face. Her tits are small but the perfect size beneath a tight white T-shirt that reveals a black bra underneath. Jeans ride low on her hips and I’m awarded a small tanned sliver of skin between her shirt and the top of her jeans. She’s all light and I am mesmerized, fucking blinded, by her sheer brilliance—like a blind man staring into the sun. I feel a reprieve from the shadowy darkness that always plagues me.

“Who’s asking?”

“Kasper,” I grunt out, extending my hand to her, and taking my eyes from her slender body.

She beams at me and takes my hand. For a hand so small, it saturates mine with powerful energy—the good fucking kind. This woman is pure and gentle. She’s about as opposite from me as a person can get. I’m overwhelmed by the sense of need to protect her purity. I want to scold her for being so trusting of a complete stranger. “Like the ghost? You’re not that spooky.”

I don’t respond with a smile of my own and grit my teeth. “I’m Lieutenant Kasper Grant. I work with your brother-in-law, Jason Rhodes.”

“I know who my brother-in-law is,” she says with a laugh that reminds me of a breeze teasing wind chimes on a warm summer day. “Did you guys drive Ash? I thought she was picking me up per her last text.”

The woman is like sunshine on the cloudiest fucking day. Today is like a hurricane of terrible things and she’s still coasting along shining her sweetness on everything in her path. Including me.

But shadows aren’t meant to be warmed by light.

Shadows are meant to stay far away from the likes of sunshiny women like her.

I’m about to darken her world.

It’s simply what I do.

“Actually, I need you to take a ride with me. I’m afraid something awful has happened. We’re going to need to get to the hospital right away.”

And just like that, my darkness shadows her light, eradicating it completely. Tears well in her pretty eyes making them shimmer like two polished gems. Her glossy pink bottom lip quivers as she searches my eyes for answers.

“Is she having the baby? It’s too early. That’s why I came down. We were going to pick out furniture for the nursery,” she explains, her voice wobbling, as if this will somehow undo the wrongs that have happened. Wrongs that I haven’t yet spoken but I can tell she senses down to her very soul.

I reach for the handle of her rolling suitcase and frown at her. “It’s not about the baby. I’ll explain on the way.”

Ten minutes later and we’re flying down the road toward the hospital in my Camaro. From the corner of my eye, Amethyst is gnawing on her fingernails. She hasn’t asked again and I don’t want to offer the information. I don’t know much about Ashley’s condition. I certainly don’t want to give this woman false hope.

“Is she okay?” she finally mutters.

I shrug my shoulders as I weave in and out of traffic. When the fuckers won’t get out of my way, I turn on my siren. “I don’t know. She was in an accident. They rushed her to the hospital.”

She starts to cry softly and my hand twitches to reach over to comfort her. For someone who mostly feels disgust and anger every waking moment of the day, I’m put off by the fact that I’m feeling empathy.

I wish the woman beside me would smile again and light up this dark car with her happiness. She clasps her fingers together and bows her head. From a quick glance at her, I can tell she’s praying. To whom, to what—I don’t know.

But I sure as hell hope someone’s listening.

Rhodes and Amethyst have gone back to see her. The fucking doctor wouldn’t tell them her condition. So now, for the past half hour, I’ve been pacing the waiting room alone waiting for answers. My friend still doesn’t know it was Dale, my stepfather. When he finds out, maybe we can hurt the motherfucker together.

“Kasper.” The soft voice is nothing but a broken whisper. I turn to see a red-faced sobbing angel before she throws herself into my arms. “T-T-This can’t be happening.”

I wrap my arms around her and pull her against me. It feels comfortable and right holding her. “Is she okay? What about the baby?”

She tilts her head to look up at me. Her lips purse together firmly and I watch as she pulls her emotions in check. When her chin stops quivering, she speaks.

“They’re gone.”

“Back to surgery? Chief said he thought she might’ve broken her neck but people can still go on to have a good life after, even if they’re paralyzed.”

She shakes her head and a tear races down along the inside of her splotchy red cheek near her nose. I want to swipe away her pain but instead clench my teeth together, hoping for better answers than the ones that are coming from her mouth.

“K-Kasper. Her broken neck was the least of their worries. She cracked her skull and was bleeding internally. By the time they got her here and in surgery, it was too late. Ash passed away on the table. S-S-She’s gone.”

Her eyebrows furrow together and she darts her gaze all around in confusion, as if she can’t even believe the words coming out of her mouth. More tears roll down silently as she attempts to make sense of it in her head.

“The baby?”

“Neither of them...” she trails off in a whisper. “Neither of them made it.”