Take it All (Blinded by Love) (52 page)

“Lox, this isn’t on you, none of it is,” he shook his head, “it’s on me, everything is. I’m the one with the problem and no one can do anything about it–but me.”

Her shoulders fell in exhaustion, “Caleb, I just... I can’t... I don’t know what else to do anymore,” she cried, the tears rushing to her eyes, falling down her cheek, “I have nothing else to give.”

“You can follow me back to your place.”

Her head turned in his direction, not sure she heard him right she asked, “What?”

“Follow me back to your place.” He took a step forward, stopping when she put her hand out.

“Are you sure, what about your bed at the shelter?” she asked, her voice thick from crying.

“My Dove needs me more,” his voice caressed her softly, “plus I’d rather sleep with you close by.” He moved closer to her until she was within reaching distance, not moving any further until she gave the okay.

The air rushed from Lennox’s lungs in a sob and she fell forward, collapsing into Caleb’s arms that wrapped around her tightly in a heartbeat as he murmured in her hair, “I gotcha baby.” She nodded as her hands fisted his shirt, not wanting to let him go, in fear he’d change his mind, but maybe Emerson had been right, laying it all out for him. “Let’s get outta here.”

They walked to her jeep where he pulled open the door for her and helped her in. As he walked around to his side, his cell phone in his pocket vibrated and as he went to grab it, he stopped, leaving it for later. Grabbing her hand when his seatbelt was on, she put the car in drive and headed back to his, where she dropped him off and then followed his Sunfire back to the Hill.

They had got back to her place and no sooner did Lennox have the door closed and dead bolted did Caleb spin her around and take her mouth with his. He pushed her into the back of the door as his hands slid down and lifted her up; her legs instantly wrapped around his waist as he made his way up to her room.

It didn’t take long before they were both naked and in Lennox’s bed, their lips moving together passionately. Her hand lightly scratched down over his tattoo as her other hand gripped his back, her nails digging into his skin. Caleb pulled away from her lips and looked down at her as he moved between her legs and found himself at her opening. He watched as she moved under him, aching for him to finally make his move, her bright golden eyes looked up at him as she rolled her body into his at the same time he glided inside her; burying himself as deep as he could get.

His head fell to the crook of her neck as her leg wrapped around his backside. “Fuck, Lox,” he groaned into her warm skin, before he lifted his head up and found her eyes, “I can feel it, crawling under my skin, burning through to places I’ve never been touched before, making me feel things I never thought possible, and it’s all you baby, it will always be you.” Her eyes welled up with tears as he crushed his lips onto hers, his tongue darting inside her mouth and fervently tangling with hers as he rocked his hips into her slowly.

“Caleb,” she half moaned and mumbled inside his mouth, as her lips parted from his and her neck arched off her pillow. “I love you, we’ll get through this together,” she promised.

He dipped his head and kissed her nose. “Whatever happens, Lox,” he began, his pace picking up, “just know, you’re it for me too. I never loved anyone as much as I love you baby,” his voice was low and tender, “remember that,” he said, as his eyes burned into hers, locking everything about her in his memory, where he would never forget as long as he lived.

They spent the night making love until, as one, they fell over the edge in pure bliss. With their heavy breathing filling the room, they stayed connected a few minutes longer, lying together, feeling one another as their heart rates calmed and Caleb finally rolled off her. As he pulled her into his side, her head rested against his chest and she was out in an instant and he held her in his arms for what seemed like hours as she slept peacefully in his embrace.

He heard the buzzing from across the room where his jeans sat on the floor. He looked down at her to see she hadn’t moved at the sound then waited before he quietly pulled away from her and slipped out of bed. He walked over to his jeans and pulled them on; his eyes on a naked Lennox who was still silently sleeping on her side, burrowed down into the bed as if Caleb was still next to her.

As he finished redressing, he made his way to the door where he stopped and looked back over his shoulder at Lennox who hadn’t moved a muscle. He knew what he was doing was going to break her, in more ways than he could ever imagine; she was his absolute all, the best he had and he hoped one day she would be able to understand and forgive him.

After a few moments he turned around and made his way down the stairs then quickly out the front door to his car where he hopped in and sped off into the night.

SATURDAY APRIL 29
TH
– 8:50AM

Lennox threw her car into park, ignoring the wave of dizziness and stabbing pain she felt in her stomach. With the keys still in the ignition, she threw open her door and jumped out; her feet barely on the ground as she ran up the walk way and stairs to the front door and started banging.

Her hand banged until it started to hurt and she heard the dead bolt on the other side click before the door swung open. He was standing only in a pair of black sweats that hung off his body, revealing his perfectly sculpted chest, as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes away and looked at her puzzled. “Lennox, what–what’re you doing here?”

“Is he here?” asked a panic stricken Lennox.

“What?” he asked, still half asleep and not understanding.

“Caleb, Reed. Is he here? Did he come by?”

Reed nodded and moved from the doorway, letting her inside. She walked into the living room looking around but not seeing him as Reed closed the door behind her. “Where is he?” she asked, looking as she turned around to see Reed looking at her with an unreadable face.

“Lennox–”

“Last night after the concert, he came back to my place and stayed with me. I thought... I laid it all out for him, like Em said,” she paused, taking a breath as her heart rate spiked, “I woke up and he was gone, where is he?” She didn’t want to believe the feeling she got last night, those kinda things just didn’t happen, she needed him to be true to his word. And for once, just this once, she needed him to have been telling her the truth and not just lying to put her at ease and having no intentions on keeping his word.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Reed said mostly to himself as he ran his hand through his hair.

“What the fuck is goin’ on?” Emerson exclaimed, through half a yawn. His voice was thick and full of sleep as it had echoed from the hall, not sounding the least bit happy.

“Bro, get out here would ya,” Reed called back, sounding just as unhappy as he walked around Lennox to the couch and grabbed his shirt and pulled it on just as Emerson rounded the corner, his eyes narrowed on Reed then eventually seeing Lennox off to the side.

“What the fuck, man– Lennox– what’re you doing here?” Emerson said, his expression as confused as Reed’s.

“I...” she began, trailing off and looking at Reed for help.

“She’s here looking for Kingston,” he said, eyeing Emerson, who’s head snapped in Reeds direction. “Yeah, man,” Reed said as he nodded, answering his unasked question.

“What’s going on, where is he?” Lennox asked, trying to keep the panic she felt at bay but it was becoming impossible as she watched Emerson and Reed exchange looks.

Emerson’s hand grabbed the back of his neck as he walked over towards her and the pain in her stomach intensified as her pulse began to race, the sound of blood rushing in her ears. “Lennox, um– you wanna sit down?”

“No, Emerson, just tell me,” she pleaded, looking him in the eyes, unsure she wanted to hear what he was about to say. “Where is he?”

He exhaled a deep breath before saying, “I don’t know, Lennox.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” she asked, sounding panicked and sick as she looked between Emerson and Reed, who both had dull expressions on their face.

“He stopped by last night, really late and in a hurry, said he needed a few of his things and that was it, he left; just got in his car and took off like a bat outta hell.” He shoved his hands into his jean pockets as he watched Lennox closely.

“Promises,” she mumbled, the words coming out in a whisper, “and lies. Last night... it was telling me the truth, nagging at me to pay attention, warning me even but, I... I didn’t listen, again.”

Their relationship was full of lies, whether it was a small lie or a big lie; a lie is a lie no matter how big it is. Some of the smallest lies do the most damage. He hadn’t even tried to get clean this time for her. He had said he would and went through everything to make her believe in him and his road to recovery but it had all been a facade. Nothing more than a con, that built her up and gave her hope for a future that now felt as if it was just hanging there, in the midst of a fall not knowing where to go. The lies and broken promises weren’t even the most disturbing and painful part for Lennox; that went to just how good Caleb was at it all.

“Lennox, sweetheart, calm down,” Emerson said as he appeared in front of her face, Reed next to him; both looking at her worried.

“She doesn’t look right, man.” She barely heard Reed’s voice that sounded so far away.

“I... I can’t breathe,” she choked out, the pain becoming unbearable as she stood there in front of Emerson and Reed, as it all hit at once. The pain in her stomach stabbed at the side, her breathing hitched and her chest squeezed in pain as she tried gasping for a breath. Her head pounded against her skull, causing her vision to become blurry and the only thing she could hear was the rushing in her ears as the room spun out from under her and she felt herself fall before everything faded black.

SATURDAY APRIL 29
TH
– 1:40PM

He bent over and softly placed his lips on the tip of her nose, just as he had done for as long as she could remember. “I’ll be back,” he whispered quietly, hesitating before finally pulling away.

His eyes moved from hers as he turned and walked towards the door, stopping a moment, and lingering in the doorway like he was second guessing his decision. She watched him, hoping his mind had changed, only to quickly vanish as he continued out the door and into the hall.

She watched him through her window, walking down the brightly lit hall, wondering if it would be the last time she ever saw him. Wondering if it would be the last time she’d hear his voice, the last time his fresh, yet smoky scent filled her nose or the last time she’d feel her body come to life under his from the touch of his lips on hers.

She could feel it in her gut, twisting and knotting; the unspoken words bright in his eyes. His azure colored eyes that still had a way of making her knees weak and heart slam against her chest, all while small sparks of electricity soared through her body with a single simple look.

Lennox laid there in her room, dazed, as the numbness slowly crept up through her body, and into her heart and soul. The voice in her head spoke in loud volumes, telling her over and over things she didn’t want to believe. Her eyes, still fixated on his back, watching as he became further and further away; almost completely faded away.