Authors: S. Gilmour
He hopped into the Mustang and the engine roared to life. I followed in my Firebird behind him. I was glad we were taking separate cars. I didn’t trust myself not to go back to his house (if he asked). I had to be home on time tonight or Maddie would definitely remember I was grounded.
***
We were greeted by Maddie’s favorite waiter, the adorable Xavier. He seated us at a booth and said he would be back for our drink orders, holding his gaze on me just long enough to make me uncomfortable.
“What’s with that guy?” Chaz opened the big plastic menu.
“What do you mean? He’s just being friendly because Maddie always tips him really well.”
“Maddie’s not here.” Chaz closed the menu abruptly. “So the more he eye-rapes you the less of a tip he’s getting from me.”
Was he kidding?
With Chaz it was hard to discern sometimes.
“Okay, beautiful girl,” said Xavier opening his order pad. “Let me guess, Dr. Pepper with cherries right?” He gave me a big smile, his dark eyes glittering from the bright light suspended over our table.
“That’s it.”
“See, I already have it down.” He presented the order pad to me. He had in fact written it down.
Beautiful girl, Dr. P w/cherries.
I blushed and pushed it back to him.
“And you?” he asked Chaz without looking up from the order pad.
“Iced tea,” Chaz replied sharply.
“Are you ready to order now or should I come back?”
“Come back,” Chaz glared.
Uh oh. Chaz wasn’t kidding. He’d been possessive before but not like this. After last night our relationship had definitely changed.
“Sure, take your time guys.” Xavier got the hint too. He backed away and didn’t look back. He quickly returned with our drinks and another waiter took our order and dropped off our food.
Chaz’s strange mood made me even more anxious about telling him I had a class with Dillon. I knew he was going to ask and I couldn’t lie to him. He was bound to find out anyway. I stalled, keeping him busy by asking questions about Palomar. But since he only had two classes today that didn’t take long. I wondered if he would bring up last night. I wanted to talk about it but not here in the hustle and bustle of this diner with Xavier or whoever popping in and out of our booth. I had hoped for a more intimate setting.
“I’ve been thinking,” Chaz said as he slowly stirred his iced tea. “Why don’t you move your horse to my house? The cows are gone and the pasture from when my sister had a horse is just sitting empty.”
“I don’t want to be a burden to you or to your family, Chaz.”
“It’s no burden. You’d be doing me a favor because I wouldn’t have to mow it.”
“Only if it’s okay with your mom.”
“I pretty much make all the decisions now when it comes to the ranch. I don’t even think she’d notice anyway,” he said with a hint of sadness. I took his hand into mine and squeezed.
“How are your classes?” asked Chaz, his mood lifting. “Any good teachers?” I rattled on about my classes and tried to change the subject to the Holiday Show that was coming up but he kept steering the conversation back to school.
“Have any classes with anybody I know?” He took the last bite of his hamburger.
Here we go.
I might as well get it over with.
“I have PE with Marissa and Algebra Two with Danielle…and Dillon,” I dropped casually as I pushed my plate to the end of the table. Chaz stopped chewing, his eyes darkening to a deep jade.
“Did you talk to him?” he asked casually like we were talking about the weather. He held my eyes with his as he dipped a fry into a blob of ketchup.
I took a long pull from my straw thinking of how to deliver a safe response.
“How are you guys doing? Need anything?” Xavier’s return bought me a short reprieve.
“No,” replied Chaz sharply. He didn’t lift his eyes from mine.
“We’re fine, thank you,” I smiled awkwardly.
Xavier motioned to my half-eaten sandwich. “Do you want me to box this up?”
“No thanks.”
Xavier stared at me a moment, his dark eyes questioning before shifting his gaze to Chaz then backed away. Chaz waited calmly for me to continue.
“Did you know that Dillon is going out with Sloane Pierce now?”
“Like that’ll last.”
Xavier placed the check on the table, flashed a dazzling smile to me, and dashed off to another table. Chaz scanned the check and tossed a ten dollar bill onto the table. I added a few more dollars and we slid out of the booth.
“Thanks, see you next time,” called Xavier as we walked out. He winked at me and smiled.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Chaz turned to walk back in.
“Chaz, stop.” I jumped in front of him and grabbed his arm. “He’s just a flirt.”
“Flirt my ass.”
I pulled Chaz back out of the diner and we walked to the parking lot. I just watched him go from zero to crazy in a matter of seconds. He wasn’t like this before his father passed away, at least not that I’d seen.
It was kind of scary.
Kind of sexy.
But mostly scary.
I leaned against my car and watched him settle, his breathing slowing. I thought about what Danielle had said earlier, about staying away from Dillon. Maybe she was right.
Chaz leaned in and kissed me quickly. He said he needed to get home and help his mom. Part of me was relieved that our evening was ending. Chaz seemed distant and aloof and it made my self-doubt go into overdrive. But I was also disappointed. I had wanted to talk to him about more than school or fashion shows. I had hoped we would discuss our relationship. After last night I knew things had changed for us. Danielle said sex always did that to relationships and for me it hadn’t turned out well in the past. I don’t know what I expected, I guess reassurance.
I returned
home right before Maddie arrived from work and started the chores I was supposed to have done last night. She began chatting about the holiday fashion show and getting her to-do lists ready. (She had forgotten I was grounded and I didn’t remind her).
“Have you talked to Dillon recently?” she asked as she scrolled through her phone list, her reading glasses perched precariously on the tip of her slender nose.
“I have a class with him. Why?”
“Is he planning on being in the Holiday Show?”
“How would I know?” I snapped and started unloading the dishwasher. The last thing I needed was for Dillon to be in the show.
“You’re still fighting with Dillon?”
“I’m not anything with him.” I started throwing forks into the drawer.
She stared disapprovingly as I assaulted the flatware. “What’s going on, Paige?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why are you trashing my dishes?”
I turned around and glared. I really didn’t know. I could feel the anger spreading through my muscles. I was going to shatter. Like I wanted to shatter these dishes. But I definitely couldn’t talk about Chaz with Maddie. She didn’t take our relationship seriously mostly because she believed Dillon and I belonged together.
“It’s been a long day,” I began. “I’m not used to getting up early again. Guess I’m grouchy.”
“Teenagers,” sighed Maddie. “Can you ask Dillon tomorrow?”
“Do I have to? I’d rather not.”
“Fine. Bring me the phone.”
I handed it to her. “Oh God, are you calling him?”
“Two-seven-four-seven-four-two-nine,” she sang as she dialed then tapped her red nails against the tile counter as she waited. I could hear ringing… then a male voice.
“Hi, Donovan.” She doodled daisies on her list as she chatted.
I went back to the dishes, fuming.
“That’s fine. Tell him to think about it and he can let Paige know.”
I slammed the dishwasher shut.
“Yes, next Tuesday, seven PM at the studio.”
More doodling and nail tapping.
“Tell Chaz too then.” She bid her goodbye and scrawled on her list.
“Tell Chaz what?” I asked.
“Oh, so you’re talking to me again…” she said not looking up from her list.
“I never stopped talking to you. What’s going on?”
She looked up over her glasses. “Dillon will let you know tomorrow. He needs to check with his coach about missing a few practices. Chaz was there so Donovan confirmed with him.”
“Chaz is there?” I asked. “He said he was going home,” I said before I caught myself.
“You saw him today?”
“After school. Just for a little while.” I wanted to call Donny back and ask him to put Chaz on the phone, ask him why he lied to me. He was at Spade’s after school, now Donny’s after our brief dinner? What happened to helping his mom?
Was he avoiding me? Was he having regrets?
As soon as I was alone I called Danielle.
“Are you turning into one of those stalker girlfriends?”
“I don’t like being lied to.”
“Technically he didn’t lie to you. He just didn’t tell you. Does he have to have your permission before he does anything?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then relax. You’re getting crazy just like you did with Brit.”
“This isn’t the same situation,” I said quickly, the pitch of my voice rising. “And I wasn’t crazy,” I added, feeling the need to defend myself.
“You drove by Brit’s house like fifty times in one day.”
“It wasn’t fifty. Maybe like five. Or ten.”
“Whatever. Quit being a spaz. Get your mind off it. Take a bath or go watch TV or something.”
So I did.
And fell asleep.
I was awakened by a light rapping on my window. I walked over and peeked through the metal mini-blinds.
Chaz was outside!
“Oh my God!” I opened the window. “Chaz, what are you doing here? What time is it?”
“Two-thirty.” He popped the screen off the window and climbed in.
“Ever heard of a door?” I whispered as he closed the window behind him.
“Didn’t want to wake Maddie,” he whispered back. He leaned back against the window ledge and grinned.
“Why didn’t you call?”
“Didn’t want to wake Maddie.” He leaned in to kiss me.
“Nothing wakes Maddie,” I grinned. “She could sleep through a hurricane.”
“Hurricane, huh?” Chaz stepped toward me, his arms circling my waist as his eyes lowered, his gaze traveling from my t-shirt that barely covered my ass to my bare legs. His face lowered to my cheek, inhaling slowly as he nuzzled against me. “You smell like vanilla,” he whispered against my skin and fingered my damp hair. I molded my body against his. Desperate hands caressed my backside and roamed under my t-shirt, the faint smell of marijuana clinging to his linen jacket.
“I can’t sleep. I keep seeing my dad lying there on the grass. I couldn’t help him, Paige.” The words stuck in his throat and his face twisted in pain. “I just stood there and watched his life slip out of him,” he sobbed.
I clung tighter to him. He cried and it stilled me. I didn’t say anything, there was nothing I could say to ease his pain. He held me tightly against him, his breathing staggered. He slipped out of his jacket and slowly backed me up onto my bed. He lowered himself on top of me and I felt his lips first then his tongue as I fisted through is hair. My senses shot into high alert. His hands slipped under the band of my shorts and explored. Eager fingers intimately teased as I burned around him, gasping with restrained silence as the heat tightened and tore through me. I reached between his legs and fumbled with the buttons of his jeans. He was hard and sprung free, pressing into my thigh.
“Oh God, Paige,” he sighed. “I need you.”
“I don’t have any rubbers,” I whispered.
“My wallet.”
My hands roamed up the back of his thighs to the hard square in his back pocket. I fingered through it, feeling for the packet. I held it up to Chaz and he tore it open with his teeth.
“Put it on.”
I reached down and stretched the rubber ring over the top of him. I tried to pull it down but it kept slipping off. Chaz tightened his hand over mine, guiding me as we rolled it down his length together. He slipped his hands underneath me, cupping my cheeks as he urged me onto him. His muscles tensed and he buried himself in me in one urgent thrust. I lifted my hips up to meet his and pressed my lips against his throat. He was deep inside me and I could barely breathe, the tension building and swelling. I struggled to keep up as his hips surged and rolled into me, his demanding pace pushing me to my limits with pleasure and pain. I stifled a cry and bit into his shoulder as I bucked beneath him, overwhelmed by how fast I fell apart. Before I had a chance to recover he pulled out and flipped me over, pinning my wrists over my head as he rocked into me with just as much momentum as before. My face pressed into the pillows and I struggled to breathe as he held me beneath him, his thighs spreading mine apart, his arms caging me on either side.
“Fuck!” He collapsed on top of my back. I tried to adjust myself under his crushing weight, my breasts crammed painfully into the mattress as he sucked my neck. I squirmed and tried to wriggle out from under him.
Chaz released my arms and shifted us both to our sides, curling around my back. I could still feel him inside of me, one hand cupping my breast, the other around my waist. I looked back over my shoulder, I needed to see him, see his desire for me shining in his eyes.
What I saw was a guy starting to fall asleep.
“Chaz.”
“Hmm…”
“Are you sleeping?”
“Mmm…”
“You can’t stay here.”
“So tired…don’t sleep anymore.”
I started to pull away from him.
“Don’t.”
He pinched my hips then reached down to where we were still joined and carefully withdrew. He squinted as he looked over my shoulder to the small nightstand.
“Tissue.”
I gave it to him and he wrapped up the evidence of our tryst.
“You can’t leave that here.”
“Relax…” he whispered. He dropped it down next to my bed. “C’mere.”
I snuggled into his chest.
“What time does Maddie get up?”
“Six-thirty.”
“Wake me up at five-thirty…she’ll never know I was here,” he said, drifting.
“I don’t know, Chaz, it’s pretty risky.”
“Riskier if I drive...”
I set the alarm and settled into Chaz’s embrace. I couldn’t believe he was in my bed! He quickly fell asleep in deep even breaths, his arms relaxing around me. I drifted off to sleep as well, my heart still fluttering from the excitement of our clandestine lovemaking.
When the alarm chimed at five-thirty Chaz was already gone. The screen was back on the window and there was no sign that he had ever been here. I began to wonder if it had been a dream, until I saw the wadded up tissue next to my bed.