Talk Sexy to the One You Love (11 page)

Exercise 19: Really Bad Libs

(SOLO)

Copy Sentence 1, as it appears on Sample Page 19, into your notebook. Now complete the sentence at least half a dozen different ways by filling in the blanks with sexy words from the lists you created earlier (see my example.) Express your true desires. Then be sure to write at least one funny one!

Repeat this procedure for Sentence 2 through Sentence 10. When you are done, place an asterisk next to the ones that turn you on most.

Sample Page 19

(COPY AND COMPLETE)

Copy each sentence and fill in the blanks as instructed.

Sentence 1: (Verb) me! (Verb) me
now
!

Example
: Kiss me! Kiss me
now
!

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Sentence 2: (Verb) my (noun)!

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Kiss My What? / 109

Sentence 3: I love the way your (adj.) (noun) feels against my (adj.) (noun).

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Sentence 4: I need to feel your (adj.) (adj.) (noun) inside my (adj.) (adj.) (noun).

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Sentence 5: I love the way your (adj.) (noun) feels against my (adj.) (noun).

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Sentence 6: I have to (verb) your (adj.) (noun)!

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Sentence 7: I want you to play with my (adj.) (noun).

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Sentence 8: Stick your (adj.) (noun) in my (adj.) (noun)!

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Sentence 9: I want to make your (adj.) (noun) (adj.)!

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

110 / Talk Sexy to the One You Love

Sentence 10: (Verb) me like a (adj.) (adj.) animal!

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Are you ready to read these bad libs aloud? When you are, take a look at the first sentence you just created. Begin by mouthing all of the words in this sentence without making any sound, and repeat this several times. Try to imagine what it would feel like to actually be saying this to your lover; imagine how he would be responding.

Now, in your lowest whisper, try to speak your first sentence out loud. Whisper it again and again and again. Try it a little louder, then louder still. Repeat it over and over. Make believe that you are reading a line from a play, and experiment with different interpreta-tions.

When you have become comfortable saying your first completed bad-lib sentence out loud, move on to the second. Proceed in this fashion through all of the new sentences you created for this exercise, paying special attention to the ones you have marked with an asterisk.

Blending Fact with Fiction

Are you one of those women who insists she doesn’t have a single fantasy inside her head?

Kiss My What? / 111

You’ll never say that again, if I can help it. Using your sexy word lists, these next two exercises will continue to sharpen your vocabulary skills, while helping you create some full-blown fantasies at the same time. Just follow the instructions, and you’ll have at least two serious sizzlers generating major heat inside your cra-nium by the time you put your pencil down.

Exercise 20: Fantasy Fill-In

(SOLO)

Using the nouns, verbs, and adjectives from your sexy word lists to fill in the blank spaces as indicated, complete the paragraphs on Sample Page 20.

Sample Page 20

(COPY AND COMPLETE)

The Shower

I’ve been thinking all morning what it would be like to be enjoying a slow, sensuous shower, and turn to see you part the shower curtains and step in right beside me. I think about looking at your beautiful naked body, and watching your face as you eye my naked body longingly from top to bottom, and I imagine what it would feel like to embrace you, as the water cascades over us.

I fantasize that you would take a bar of my most lux-urious soap and begin to cover me with lather. You’d start at the back of my neck, then oh-so-slowly work your way to my (adj.) (noun), my (adj.) (noun), and finally, my (adj.)

112 / Talk Sexy to the One You Love

(noun). By the time you reach my (noun), I’ll be on fire.

Just feeling the soap glide across my (noun) will make my (noun) (adj.) and make me moan out loud with pleasure.

Before I climax from the incredible stimulation, I would take the soap from your hands, place it in mine, and turn all of my attention to your magnificent body.

First, I’d slowly soap up your (noun). Then your (noun).

Then your (adj.) (adj.) (noun). I’d massage you ever so slowly, till I saw, by looking at your (adj.) (noun) that you were so excited you probably couldn’t take much more. Then I’d take you by the hand, step out of the shower, towel you off, towel myself off, and lead you into the bedroom.

When you have completed the fantasy, silently read it to yourself. Now, in a soft voice, slowly read it aloud, letting yourself experience the full effect of what you have created. Read it aloud one more time before moving on to the next exercise.

Exercise 21: Another Fantasy Fill-In

(SOLO)

Using the nouns, verbs and adjectives from your sexy word lists to fill in the blank spaces as indicated, complete the paragraphs on Sample Page 21 as you did in Exercise 20.

Kiss My What? / 113

Sample Page 21

(COPY AND COMPLETE)

The Seduction

Sometimes I think about what it would be like to spend a weekend together in a small cabin hideaway, deep within beautiful snow-covered woods. I’d be lying next to you in front of a warm fire, and one look into my eyes would tell you exactly what I wanted.

I think about how you would slowly undo my blouse, button by button. Then you would (verb) and (verb) my (adj.) breasts while I watched you, as though I were watching myself in a movie. Soon I’d be urging you to remove my skirt, my stockings, and finally, my panties.

At the same time, I’d begin to undress you. I’d start by pulling open your belt, unbuttoning your slacks, and unzipping your fly so I could take a good look at your (adj.) (noun). I’d pull off your shirt so I could admire your chest and your arms. Then I’d tear off everything else you were wearing so you were naked and beautiful in front of me. For the next hour I would beg you to (verb) my (adj.) (noun) while I (verb) your (adj.) (noun).

I’d plead with you to (verb) me and (verb) me, again and again, until we’d collapse into each other’s arms, totally exhausted and fulfilled.

Once you have completed this second fantasy scen-ario, silently read it to yourself. Then, in a 114 / Talk Sexy to the One You Love

soft voice, slowly read it aloud. To finish the exercise, read your fantasy aloud a second time.

How Low Can You Go?

Did you know that your voice actually gets lower in pitch (that is, huskier) when you are horny? It’s true.

I think it has something to do with testosterone levels in the body. But you don’t have to wait to get horny for your voice to drop—you can drop it yourself. That will
make
you horny—and, if anyone’s listening, it will make them horny too!

When it comes to talking sexy, it’s not just what you say that makes you look and feel so sexy, it’s also
how
you say it. In the next exercise, you’re going to
feel
exactly what I mean.

Exercise 22: Deeper Still

Return to the bad libs you created in Exercise 18.

Starting with the first bad lib, I’d like you to read each sentence aloud three or four more times, trying to make your voice more husky (lower in pitch) and sexy with each reading. As you do this, imagine you are actually talking to your partner. How does that feel?

Practice this voice deepening on all of the bad lib sentences you completed for Exercise 18. When you are done, use your sexy new voice to read the fill-in fantasies you created in Exercises 20 and 21.

Kiss My What? / 115

How Loud Can You Get?

Sometimes there is nothing more erotic than saying something sexy in the quietest of whispers. But other times, such as in the heat of frantic lovemaking, crying out sexy stuff at the top of your lungs can be the ultimate high.

Up until this point, you’ve been keeping the volume down and keeping your cool. Are you ready to lose your cool? If you are, get yourself to a room that’s heavily soundproofed, and give Exercise 23 a try.

Exercise 23: Twist and Shout

(SOLO)

If you have a radio or stereo in the room where you are doing this exercise, turn it on and crank it up. You are going to be talking very loud, and the music will stop you from feeling terribly self-conscious. (I know women who have borrowed heavy metal CDs by bands like Metallica and Dokken from their kids to do this exercise.) If you don’t have any music, do the best you can.

Return to the first bad-lib sentence you created in Exercise 19. Once again, imagine what it would be like to actually say this to your partner. Starting in the softest of whispers, read the sentence aloud. Next say it in your best stage whisper. Now say it twice as loud.

And twice as loud again. Now shout it out. Shout it over and over. Scream. Cry out. Imagine you’re so full of pas-116 / Talk Sexy to the One You Love

sion you’re climbing the walls. Hold nothing back.

Then give your vocal cords a rest.

Move on to the next sentence you created. Once again, starting from a gentle whisper, work your way up to a roof-raising decibel level. Over the course of several days, practice this with all of your sentences from Exercise 19. Don’t try to do this in one sitting—it could give you a serious case of erotic overload, not to mention laryngitis.

Want more? Go back to Exercise 18 and practice those sentences too.

Reading Your Mind

If you have completed Exercises 18 through 23 you have already done one whole lot of sexy talking.

You’ve been serious, mysterious, dirty, and funny; you’ve purred like a pussycat and roared like a lion.

But have you said what’s really on your mind? What’s really, really,
really
on your mind? It’s time to find out.

Way back in Chapter 5, Exercise 3, I asked you to fearlessly conduct an erotic inventory of yourself and your needs. I asked you all kinds of questions about the kinds of sexy things you wanted to say, and how you would imagine yourself saying them. You’ve grown so much since then you may barely remember what you wrote, but I think it’s important to refresh your memory right now. So if you would, please take out your notebook and prepare for a little trip down memory lane.

Kiss My What? / 117

Exercise 24: I Want It

(SOLO)

Turn back in your notebook to Exercise 3: I Wish, I Want. Question 3 asked, “What sexy words and phrases do you wish you could say out loud?” Look at your answer to that question. Now read that answer out loud, exactly as it appears in your notebook. Read it over and over until you are comfortable saying everything you wrote.

Do the same thing with your answers to questions 7, 13, 14, and 16 in Exercise 3.

Are You Ready to Come Out and Play?

Exercise 24 concludes the first portion of our exercise program. If you have faithfully completed all twenty-four exercises, you have gone about as far as you can go flying solo. The remaining exercises in this book are
all
partner exercises, and that means it’s time to bring
him
aboard.
But only if you’re ready
. Talking sexy to yourself in front of a mirror is
very
different than talking sexy in front of another human being.

Loving this person with all of your heart, and knowing that he loves you, does not necessarily make it any easier. Fact is, for many people, it makes it a lot harder.

That’s why I need to make something very clear right now: If you are still feeling the slightest bit awkward or uncomfortable with all of the language you have been learning, there is no rea-118 / Talk Sexy to the One You Love

son to rush ahead. So don’t. Far better, in fact, to go back—to the very beginning if necessary—and give yourself all of the time and practice you need to feel
truly
comfortable.

The partner exercises that follow are
very
low pressure and
very
easy to follow,
but you still have to be
ready
. If you’re not ready, don’t try to force yourself.