Taming Lo: A You and I Novel (22 page)

“
No,
but I did come across your wife. Don't worry.” I quickly add.
“I avoided being discovered.” I laugh, taking a long swig
of my own beer.

“
Good
thing too.” He laughs. “If Anna sees you before you find
Lo, I can't promise she won't throw your ass out.” He laughs,
giving me an apologetic smile. “She makes the rules, what can I
say?” He laughs.

“
What
has that girl done to you?” I question playfully, shaking my
head at him.

“
She's
completely rocked my entire fucking world.” He laughs, taking
another drink of his beer. “In the best way possible.” He
tacks on. “I really should get back inside before she comes
looking for me. Good luck tonight man. I really hope you get the
chance to work your shit out. I speak from experience when I say, if
you find someone you love enough to fight for, then fight for them
with all you have. Lauren is a good girl, a bit wild, but a good
girl. If she actually forgives you, you better not fuck it up a
second time.” He warns.

“
Trust
me, I don't intend to.” I say, nodding in his direction as he
stands.

“
I'll
catch up with you later man.” He says, not waiting for a
response from me before making his way back inside.

Just needing a break from the numerous people swarming
inside, and a few more minutes to figure out just what the fuck I am
going to say to Lo when I see her, I push off of the steps and head
out onto the grounds.

I walk for several minutes along the perimeter of the
woods before heading back up towards the house. Making my way along a
stone path that leads through the flower garden, I am so lost in
thought that it takes me a moment to realize that someone is standing
just a few feet ahead of me. Silhouetted in the dim outdoor lighting,
my heart immediately picks up speed when I realize who the person is.

Lo
.......

Chapter
Thirty-Three

Lo

“
It's beautiful
out here isn't it?” His voice washes over me from behind and I
jump slightly, startled that I did not hear him approach. I spin from
my place in front of the gardens to find Dax just a few short feet
from me.

My heart immediately starts pounding out of my chest at
the sight of him. Why does he have to look so incredible? He's
dressed in an all black suit, his jacket draped across his forearm,
no tie, the top two buttons of his shirt left open revealing a small
sliver of his perfect flesh. His hair is shoved back in a messy style
that puts his incredible hazel eyes on full display. He is absolutely
mouthwatering and I hate him for it. He shoves his hands into his
pants pockets and takes a hesitant step towards me, clearly not sure
what to expect.

Honestly, I am so shocked by his unexpected appearance
and so taken aback by how my body is reacting to seeing him again,
that I am not even sure if I am able to react at all. I can't speak,
can't move. All I can do is stand here, slacked jaw, staring at him.

“
I'm sorry if I
startled you.” He says, taking another step towards me and then
another, before he finally stops, clearly not missing the way my
whole body tenses the closer he gets.

He is standing just a foot away, maybe less. Close
enough that I could reach out and touch him. I could reach out and
run my hands down his torso, feel the ripple of muscle under my
fingertips. God how I've missed him. I have never felt such an
incredible amount of love and hate for one person before in my life
and I find the conflicting emotions more than difficult to sort
through.

“
What are you
doing here?” I finally manage to speak, though my words come
out weak and airy.

“
I just needed
to see you.” He says, his eyes locking on mine. “I've
missed you.”

“
Don't.” I
immediately hold up my hand to stop him from coming any closer to me.
I can't think clearly when he's too close.

“
Lo, I'm so
sorry.” He breathes, his eyes holding my gaze. “I'm sorry
that I wasn't patient enough to give you the time you needed. I'm
sorry that I had another woman in my apartment. I'm sorry for
everything.” His voice is almost pained and causes a wave of
guilt to wash over me. Even though I know I have no reason to feel
guilty, I still feel it tight in the pit of my stomach.

“
Did you fuck
her?” I ask, knowing that if he did, there will be no going
back from that.

“
No.” He
shakes his head adamantly. “I didn't touch her.” He
promises.

“
Why was she in
your apartment?” I ask.

“
I was fucked up
over everything going on with us, over all the shit you told me. I
felt this overwhelming urge to protect you, to make things better for
you, but you shut me out and I didn't know how to handle that. When I
felt like I couldn't stare at the same four walls for another fucking
second, I headed over to
Rips
to
have a few drinks.” He says, referring to the hole in the wall
bar where him and I shared a few drinks after my first big fight with
Lilly over her wedding.

“
I
didn't go there to pick anyone up. Hell, I had no intention of even
talking to anyone. But then Tanya approached me and we had spoken a
couple other times before when I had been at the bar. There is not
and has never been anything between us, just pointless conversation.
We spent most of the afternoon talking, mainly about you.” He
admits, apology lining his forehead. “It felt so good to talk
to someone that I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to go home and
sit by myself, obsessing over the fact that you were hell bent on
avoiding me, so I invited her back to my apartment for pizza.”

“
And
when you got there, your clothes just started falling off?” I
bite, feeling like there has to be more to this little story of his.

“
Tanya
didn't want beer and the only other thing I had in my apartment was a
bottle of champagne Malcolm and Chelle had gotten me when I started
at Allure. I popped the cork and the damn thing exploded all over the
front of me. User error, you saw the condition I was in.” He
shakes his head. “I took my shirt off and was getting ready to
go to my room to get a clean one when you knocked on the door.”
He explains.

“
Convenient.”
I snip, not able to stop myself.

“
Look,
I was drunk, I admit. Really drunk. But Lo, you have to believe me
when I tell you that nothing happened with Tanya. You are the only
person I want. You are all I think about. I know I fucked up. I know
I put myself in a very compromising situation and I can understand
why you are hurt by that. I can only imagine how I would feel if the
roles were reversed. But I promise you, there is no one else for me.
Only you.” He adds, reaching out to lightly trail the back of
his hand across my cheek.

The contact immediately sends a bolt of electricity
through my body and I pull back, not wanting to let myself be
distracted. He drops his hand, the deep sadness in his eyes only
growing at my resistance of his touch.

“
When
you told me about Ricky, about what those fuckers did to you, it took
everything in me not to hunt them down one at a time and kill them
all. The only thing that stopped me was knowing if I did that, I
would never see you again. I can't take back what they did to you. I
can't change it. But I can promise you that I will
never
let
anything like that ever happen to you again.”

“
I
love you Lo.” He whispers, tipping my chin upwards so that I am
forced to look at him. “I can't lose you. You are all that
makes sense to me now. Every moment I spend without you is void,
empty, meaningless. I never intended to fall in love with you.”
He says, causing my already hammering heart to drop somewhere into
the pit of my stomach.

“
I
didn't want this. Any of this. I never wanted to give another woman
the power to destroy me ever again. But with you, I had no choice.
The more I got to know you, the more I fell for you. Now, there's no
going back. I can't live without you. I don't want to.” I try
to blink away the tears that are suddenly blurring my vision, not
wanting to let myself be so vulnerable in this moment.

“
I
have fallen so deeply in love with you Lauren Hannock. Please tell me
I haven't lost you.” He pleads.

“
Dax.
We are not built for this. You and me, it will never work. We will
always find a way to fuck it up.” I say, my throat tight around
my words.

“
No
we won't.” He shakes his head.

“
How
can you be so sure? Look at what we have already put each other
through.” I say, knotting my hands nervously in front of me.

“
We
have both had some shit things happen to us. Going in, we both knew
what we could offer one another. We were bound to run into issues the
moment we strayed from that. But I'm ready now. I'm ready to be the
man you deserve. I want to spend every minute of everyday of the rest
of our lives showing you how much you have changed me. You saved me.”
He says, reaching down to roll up the left sleeve of his dress shirt.

“
I
found love once before.” He continues, moving to his right
sleeve. “A long time ago. I thought it was impenetrable,
unbreakable. I was prepared to marry her and ride off into the
sunset. I mean, before I caught her in bed with one of my friends
that is.” He says, clearly not knowing that Anna has already
told me this fact about his past.

“
I
swore right then and there that I would never love again. That I
would never give over that kind of power to another. The power to
destroy me. That's why I got this.” He says, holding out his
left wrist, revealing the CTR initials.

“
It's
her initials.” I say weakly.

“
It
is.” He nods. “It was my reminder. Everyday I would see
that tattoo and I would remember that pain. I found myself looking at
it over and over again after I met you, trying to recapture that pain
again so that I wouldn't let myself feel what I felt for you from the
very first moment I laid eyes on you. I fought it, or at least I
tried to. But it never did me any good. From the very beginning you
have had a hold on me that I don't even think you're aware of. I am
yours Lo. If you'll have me, I will always be yours.” He says,
holding out his right wrist.

I blink rapidly through the quickly forming tears in my
eyes, trying desperately to make out what he's trying to show me.
After what feels like several minutes, but is likely only a few
seconds, his inked skin starts to come into view.

I
gasp and cover my mouth when I realize that on his right wrist,
matching the one on his left are the initials
LEH
.
My initials. “Dax.” I get out weakly, reaching out to
trail my fingertips along the still fresh tattoo. His skin is raised
and red and I can tell the new ink is less than a few days old.

“
I
have representation of my past. I only thought it was fair that my
future be represented as well.” He tilts my face back up to
meet his gaze.

“
I
love you Lauren Elizabeth Hannock. I love you and I want you to be
mine. I know it won't be easy. I know we still have so much to learn
about each other. But there's is nothing I want more in this world.”

“
Do
you know why I came to your apartment that day?” I ask, not
waiting for a response before continuing. “I came there to tell
you I was wrong to push you away. I came there to tell you that I had
fallen in love with you and that I wanted to be with you.” I
say, meeting his emotion filled gaze.

“
I'm
so sorry.” He breathes, pulling me into his arms. “I'm so
sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for everything. I love you Lo.”
He says into my hair, tightening his grip on me. “Do you hear
me?” He pulls back, his hands clamped down firmly on my
shoulders. “I love you.” He says, his voice so low it is
barely audible as he releases my shoulders and his hands find my
face.

“
I
love you too.” I admit, finally allowing my emotion free as a
tear falls down my face. He wipes it away with the pad of his thumb
and then leans forward, gently pressing his lips to mine.

“
You
and me.” He breathes against my mouth.

“
You
and me.” I agree, wrapping my arms around his neck and allowing
him to pull me flush against his body, my feet leaving the ground as
his lips find mine again.