Tangled Up in Daydreams (25 page)

“Are you sure about that?” Molly asked.

“Whoa, kids.” Tom threw up his hands and stood up. “I think that's our cue.”

“Mine too. Come on, Mag.” Getting up and helping her up.

“Thank you so much for dinner. It was delicious,” Maggie said.

“You are so welcome. Thank you for coming.” Molly walked the entire group to the door.

“Thanks, guys.” Tom kissed Molly's cheek and gave Liam a hug. “Happy birthday, buddy.”

“Thanks. All of you.” Hugging and kissing the rest.

Soon all the good-byes were made and their apartment was empty and swirling with “Tangled Up in Blue.”

“So, about that position?” Eyeing her.

“What about it?” Eyeing him.

“Well?”

“You'll have to catch me first.” Molly laughed and sprinted down the hall.

Liam ran after her but not before scooping the dolls off the table and tucking them under his arm like a football. The dolls never again left their bedroom and kept watch from the nightstand.

Molly sighed. Now they were watching Liam sleep alone. She wondered if they could tell she was missing. After a while, Molly got up and got dressed, stuffed the new pieces of jewelry she had made in her bag, and hurried to her car. She had promised Renee she would come help out again. The restaurant was having a huge private party tomorrow night and Renee had twice as much to do. Before Molly went to the restaurant, she parked the car outside of Sorella and popped in.

“Hey, is Susan around?” Asking the lovely ­dark-haired girl behind the counter.

“She's not in today.”

“I have some more jewelry for her to take a peek at.”

“You must be Molly. I'm Sarah.” Extending her hand. “You make great stuff.”

“Thanks. Why don't I just leave it all and Susan can pick whatever if any she likes.”

“Sounds good.”

Molly laid out her pouch and pulled the pieces.

“I love this one.” Fingering the coral and citrine three-strand necklace.

“Me too. It reminds me of a sunset.” Writing up a receipt. “I'll swing by tomorrow to pick up a check or the jewelry.”

“Great. Thanks.” Taking the paper and placing the pieces behind the counter.

Molly jumped back in her car and drove the few blocks to the restaurant. She was feeling a little lazy and knew the work ahead of her, so before she went in, she walked over to the bookstore across the street. She wanted to see if there were any books about all the shit she was going through. Some self-help book dealing with addictive and addicted musicians and the women who love them. She was curious to find out if any of Elizabeth's theories had some sort of psychological merit to back them up. She pushed through the heavy glass door of Chapter One and wandered into the appropriate section. She sat on the floor and began thumbing through books on the shelves:
Addicted to Love: Families Dealing with Addiction, Codependency: How It Hurts, When Loving Gets Too Hard
, et cetera, et cetera. Molly soon had a stack of books around her as she read through parts and chapters. She was so engrossed that she forgot all about the time and was startled by Renee's voice.

“So here you are. I have looked in just about every store.” Sitting down on a chair next to Molly. “It's always nice when the help plays hooky.”

“What time is it?” Looking up.

“Noon.”

“Shit.” Closing the book. “I'm so sorry, I've been in here for, like, an hour!”

“It's okay. I needed a little break anyway. Vanessa and Ashley are hard at work.”

“I'm really sorry. I just thought I would check some stuff out.”

“Think you are going to find answers in there?” Renee asked as she flipped through the titles.

“I don't know, maybe.”

“I realized that we never finished our conversation the other day.”

“It's okay.”

“No, it's not. There's something I wanted to tell you, and I am not sure if I should, but I know you and I know your parents and I know that you are most likely going to go back to him, and everyone else is going to think you are nuts and stupid for doing it, but I don't and I understand because I did.”

“You did what?”

“I stayed.”

“Renee, what are you talking about?”

“Last year your brother cheated on me with some woman who came in for the holidays.”

“What?” Molly's eyes widened.

“He was drunk at Whiskey's, I had stayed home, and he wound up at her place.”

“I'm having a little trouble here. Are telling me that my brother cheated on you? That just doesn't compute.”

“It didn't for me either.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't tell anyone. It's your brother for heaven's sake! He told me right after it happened, he was crying and everything, and we worked through it.”

“Renee, it couldn't have been so simple.”

“It wasn't. For a long time I was angry and horrible to him and every day thought about leaving, but we kept talking about it and I decided that I loved him more than I hated him, and I tried to forgive him. Sometimes it is still there, I'm sure it will always linger, but him stupidly hooking up with some woman didn't end up being our deal-breaker. I thought it would be, but here we are, stronger and more honest with each other.”

“Why are you telling me this, Renee?” Getting angry. “Why now after all this time? How am I supposed to deal with this? We are talking about my brother being a total shit! Am I supposed to just pretend I don't know?”

“You can do what you want in terms of your brother. I'm telling you this because I wanted you to see that every relationship has its demons, and people get past them, and that if you choose to continue this relationship with this man and accept these large flaws he has, I won't judge you. I understand that people are capable of much more than they ever imagine.”

“So you shared this bit of family secrets for my benefit?”

“I guess. You're my best friend and, I don't know, I thought it would help. No one is perfect. We all make choices for ourselves no matter what anyone tries to tell you.”

“My mom and I had a similar conversation the other day. And your telling me does help on some level, but Renee, you are also married to my brother, not some guy I get along with because I have to.”

“I guess I didn't think it through.” Hanging her head.

“No, Renee, you didn't, but my mom was also talking to me about my dad's flaws and I listened. I just, shit. All men suck!”

Both girls were quiet for a moment. Renee was torn between elation for finally being able to share with her closest friend and devastation for exposing Molly to a terrible truth about her brother.

“I was selfish to tell you. I really didn't think it through. I am so sorry.”

“Stop, Renee. It wasn't. Don't apologize, this secret must have killed you. Like you said to me the other day, we are friends first, sisters second, and I really appreciate the idea behind this confession. I really do. I'll keep your secret and subtly be a bitch to my brother for a while, which he is already used to.” Trying to smile. “I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that on your own. It must have been really hard.”

“Yeah, it was.” Wiping a small tear from her eye.

Molly stood up and gave Renee an awkward hug, then wiped off Renee's face with the tail of her shirt.

“Shall we go back to work, boss?”

“Yeah.” Renee stood up slowly.

“It makes sense we are such close friends.” Walking arm in arm to the door.

“Why?”

“Because we are both complete suckers for fucked up men.”

“Our bonds are deep.” Squeezing Molly's arm.

Molly walked with Renee back to the restaurant, her head swimming with evil images of what she wanted to do to her brother: castration, starvation, humiliation. Why was everything playing out like a battle of the sexes? While by no means were all her ladies, herself included, without supreme faults, human flaws, and moments of bad judgment, it just was a fact that on this day, in this week, the ladies were smelling like roses in comparison.

T
he front room of the restaurant was empty when Molly and Renee strolled in. Molly dropped her bag and keys behind the bar. Soft music floated out from the kitchen as they walked back.

“You found her!” Henry exclaimed.

“Not to hard in this town. She was lost in a book.”

“Where's Mom?” Molly asked.

“I think she went on a hike or something.”

“Looks like all the Stern women are playing hooky in the face of a fancy party,” Molly commented.

“Perk of knowing the owner. She needed a little time today to wander. She'll be back in a bit.” Winking at Molly. “Did you think any more about what we talked about?”

“Nope.” Grabbing a carrot from the pile Alex was cutting. “It wasn't important or anything, was it?”

“Funny. Go get to work, I know that Renee needs your expertise.” Flicking Molly with a towel.

The melodies of the front kitchen were in direct opposition to what Ashley and Vanessa had raging. Hole screamed from a little stereo. Courtney Love on volume ten.

“Hello, rage against the machine! What is going on?” Turning down the CD. “Feeling a little riot girl today? How can you guys work to this? The minute I leave here, it turns into a Hollywood club.” Renee, teasing Vanessa and Ashley.

“It keeps us pumped up,” Ashley answered.

“I will take your word for it.”

Molly grabbed an apron and tied it on.

“Okay, Renee, so just tell me what to do and you can order me around for a few hours.”

“Same as before, plus I need a double batch of biscotti. Make whatever kind you want.” Tying on her apron. “Just nothing with hazelnuts, the new order hasn't come in.”

“And the recipes?”

“On the back shelf.”

“Got it.”

“Good.”

Molly again fell into the quiet kitchen dance, and the four women worked around one another gracefully. Molly was happy for anything that would calm her down. She wished she was an only child and not related to a cheating brother. Men could really screw things up. Even men who shared her last name. Everyone seemed to be capable of making completely bad decisions. Molly just didn't get it. To her, doing the right thing in certain scenarios, like where one puts his penis or what penis one lets into her vagina when you are in a committed relationship, seemed like taking a multiple-choice test with only one answer written on the page. Maybe Alex couldn't read. Molly would never look at her brother in quite the same way again. That made her sad—sad that he wasn't really as wonderful as Molly thought he was. Growing up and seeing your family members as just other people trying to get by really blows.

Time passed and the list of tasks grew smaller. Just when everything was either sliced, diced, baked, or caked, Molly knocked over a glass, tried to right it, shattered it instead, and felt a stab of warm heat. Not again. Molly looked down at her palm and, in an almost mirror position to her jewelry sale scar, a stream of bright red blood appeared. Molly quickly wrapped her hand in a dish towel and held it upright.

“I think we have a small problem.” Trying to appear calm even though the pain started to spread.

“What?” Renee turned around and caught sight of the growing crimson stain. “Shit!”

Renee rushed to Molly and unwrapped the dish towel. The blood still flowed and the cut looked deep. A small piece of glass glinted from the ragged tear.

“That is going to need stitches.” Rewrapping the cut. “Vanessa, you and Ashley can finish the rest.”

Renee rushed Molly from the back and into the front kitchen. By now, Molly's hand had begun to throb and a simmering nausea crept up Molly's belly. She quickly leaned over and threw up into a trash can.

“What happened?” Henry cried. “Molly, are you okay?”

“She cut herself on some glass. It's pretty ugly.”

“No big deal, I just happen to be a prime-A klutz. At least now I will have twin scars. Kind of like the Olsens.”

“I'll get my keys.” Undoing his apron. “Helen isn't back yet.”

“I'll take her. We were almost done anyway and the girls can finish.” Renee, asserting.

“Are you sure?” Henry looked at his daughters with concern.

“Dad, I'm fine.” Molly leaned over and puked again. “Sorry.”

Henry grabbed a plastic garbage bag from beneath the sink and handed it to Renee.

“Thanks. Wouldn't want to get puke all over Renee's car.”