Tell Me Why (17 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Anna-

“Hit it, Anna!” Holly squealed loudly as I plowed through the sand to reach the volleyball, smacking it hard. It went sailing back over the net, only to land out of bounds.

“Dang it!” I shouted, but with a smile. I was having a blast. “I guess the truth is plain for all of you to see now. I suck at sports.”

“At least you look good doing it.” A tall, buff, blond guy everyone called Tyler, was eyeing me with appreciation from the other side of the net. He had been clearly checking me out ever since we’d been introduced this morning.

“I’d have to agree
.” His equally tan wingman, Shawn, ran a hand through his dark hair.

“Hey
, now,” Holly said with fake scowl. “I’m still here.”

“No one could forge
t that,” Shawn added with a wink back at Holly. “You told us to make her feel at home. We’re simply doing what you asked.”

Laughing, I turned to Holly. “Is this a pity date or something?”

“No,” she said, grinning. “Just trying to help cheer you up. You’ve seemed sad and I promised I would make things fun.”

“I’m having a great time,” I answered truthfully. “I’m just sad I suck a
t beach volleyball so badly.” Continuing to smile, I glanced in between them. “What else is there to do? Sunbathing, maybe? I could totally rock that!” Casting a longing glance to where we had left our beach towels pitched under an umbrella, I wanted to run over there and take a nap in the warm sunshine. All this sports stuff was wearing me out.

“Wanna try you
r luck at surfing?” Tyler asked. “I’d be happy to try and teach you.”

I had no doubt he would be
; and if I wasn’t totally broken and longing for Caleb at the moment, I’d jump on the chance to take him up on it. Tyler seemed like a great guy from the few hours we’d spent together.

“As fun as that sounds, I think I’ll pass and save the surf
ing lessons for another day. I’d like to work on my tan for a bit and read some of my book for a while; but the three of you are welcome to go ahead and do whatever you want. Don’t let me stop you.”

“We can take a break,” Holly said, glancing toward the sky. “It’s lunchtime anyway. Would you like something from one of the vendors? We can go over and get it.”

“Sure, that sounds awesome.”

“What would you like? My treat.” Tyler smiled sweetly at me and I felt a twinge of regret. I really liked this guy and I didn’t want to lead him on
; but there was no way I was even remotely close to tossing my hat back into the relationship ring.

“I can pay for it. That’s sweet of you to offer though.” Digging through the pocket of my super short cut
-offs, I handed him a few dollars. “Surprise me. Get me something you think I’d like.”

“Got it
.” He grinned.

“You guys go ahead,” Holly said. “I’ll be right there.” She waited until Shawn and Tyler were out of earshot. “You know what they say. The best way to get over falling off a horse is to get on and ride again. Tyler is really into you. He’s really nice too
, not to mention gorgeous.”

Sighing, I folded my arms beneath my pink bikini top. “I can see that, but I don’t think I’m ready to explore that option yet.” I hadn’t told her anything
about what happened with Caleb and me, only that we had broken up. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be.”

“Hmm. That guy of yours really worked a number over on you, didn’t he? Did he cheat on you?”

“Something like that,” I replied vaguely, turning away so she wouldn’t see the tears welling up in my eyes. “I don’t mind doing things with these guys, as friends. I really like them, but I still need time.”

Reaching out, she hugged me briefly around the shoulders. “That’s fine too. Be back in a minute.”

I watched her run through the sand to catch up with the guys, who smiled and laughed as she joined them, making me miss the camaraderie of the band back home. I kind of felt like I’d been sucked into an alternate universe—a place where things appeared to be awesome, but not quite believable, due to the gnawing ache inside my heart.

Absently, I checked my cell
phone as I meandered over to where my towel was stretched in the sand, knowing I wouldn’t have any messages since no one but my parents and Holly had my number.

Having a good time, but miss u,
I texted to both my parents.

It buzzed back almost immediately.

Miss you too, sweetie,
from my mom.

Love you. Keep your chin up,
from Dad.

Slipping out of my shorts, I tossed them over onto my beach bag before sinking down onto my towel and
picking up the coconut smelling tanning lotion. Thanks to the quarter of Latino blood that ran in me from my dad’s side of the family, I’d have enviable bronzed, sun-kissed skin by the end of today. Smiling, I remembered how that used to drive Jessi insane. She was constantly bemoaning about her curse of ghostly pale skin.

I missed her.

***

Lying on my bed in my newly
decorated turquoise and brown room, I smiled. My new home was shaping up quite nicely. Holly was the queen of shopping deals and decorating, and she and I were hitting it off very well. It was nice to have a girlfriend back in my life. Jessi had left a big hole in that area and, while I was still greatly mourning that loss, it was comforting to have Holly around.

Naturally,
thinking about Jessi caused my thoughts to drift toward Caleb, and I felt the intense pinch of my heart as his betrayal came back to the surface. I hated that I’d left things the way they were, but I couldn’t stand facing him again either. It hurt too badly to know he had been lying to me all this time and frankly, I couldn’t trust him anymore. How could anyone have a relationship without trust?

Truthfully, though, I wasn’t sure which part stung the worst—knowing that he had lied, or knowing that he had slept with Jessi. My head couldn’t seem to get past the fact that they had been together and that she was pregnant with his baby.

In Caleb’s defense, I was angry at Jessi for him. What she’d done was extremely selfish. He should’ve been given the choice to help raise his child. However, the thought of seeing the two of them together, with a kid, made me more than ill. It would’ve been very difficult for me to be around them. Would I have lost both of them anyway? Estranged by the hurt inside myself?

Sighing, I rolled over and stared at the smiling picture of my parents on my nightstand. It seemed no matter which way I tried to spin things in my head, it always came down to the same thing. Me losing the people I loved.

My hand drifted to my neck, fingering the moonstone charm that still hung there. I hadn’t taken it off since Caleb had put it on me. So much for the moonstone legend of a successful life of passion, togetherness, and good luck. Caleb and I were about as far away from any of those as we could get.

The vibrating sound from my phone alerted me to an incoming call. I wasn’t surprised to see my mom’s name on the screen.

“Hi, Mom,” I answered.

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you?” her kind voice came through the receiver.

I sighed. “Okay, I guess. Still trying to come to terms with the changes in my life; but otherwise all right. How are you?”

“Well, I have some news to tell you.”

“That sounds ominous,” I replied, sitting up and leaning against the wall. “What’s going on?”

“Caleb came by to see you.”

My heart dropped at the mention of his name.

“Needless to say, he was less than thrilled to find you gone. He told me what happened, honey. I’m so sorry you’ve been suffering with this alone.”

I started to cry. I couldn’t help myself. “Was he mad at me?” I asked, needing to know.

“No, not mad, but really hurt. He loves you a lot and he doesn’t know what to do to fix things. I get the impression he feels he deserves whatever happens to him at this point. Kind of like it’s his sentence and he
should suffer.”

“I don’t want him to suffer, Mom.” Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, it was a relief to be able to talk to someone about this. “I still love him.”

“I know you do. You wouldn’t have run away if you didn’t.” There was a moment of silence between us. “Sweetheart, there’s more.”

“Okay,” I said, feeling my nerves tighten.

“When Caleb was here, I offered to let Danica move in with your dad and me for a while. Just to help her get on her feet again.”

Relief poured through me. “Oh, that would be great, Mom! I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before! Caleb’s been so worried about what to do. Is she going to do it?”

“Well, we didn’t make it that far, unfortunately. After Caleb left here he went to see his dad. They got in a fight and someone called the police.”

“Is Caleb okay?” I asked, fear gripping me.

“He will be, but I guess Hank shot him.”

My whole world came to a screeching halt and
, for several moments I couldn’t breathe. In that short span of time, a life without Caleb danced through my mind and the pain was excruciating. “Mom, don’t leave me hanging,” I begged, needing to know more.

“
The bullet grazed the top of his head. It didn’t go through the bone, but it skimmed the full thickness of his scalp causing a large gash. He lost quite a bit of blood from it. A helicopter came in and flew him to a trauma center in Seattle. They had to shave off his hair to sew the wound back up. I think Caleb is more upset about that than anything else.”

Her comment made me snort. Caleb was all about his trendy hair. I could totally see him being more upset about that than being shot. “So
, what happens now? Please tell me they arrested Hank.”

“They did, and he’s been charged. I don’t see him getting out any time soon, especially with his previous record.”

“Well, that’s something, at least. Poor Caleb. Mom, he’s been through the ringer.”

“I’m not trying to put any pressure on you, but he feels like he’s lost everything now that you’re gone, sweetie. He really could use some love and support. I’m afraid of what all this might do to him. I don’t think this family can take
any more heartache. It’s as if Jessi’s death simply made all the cracks break open and everything has snowballed.”

“What should I do, Mom? I don’t have the money to come home and Dad paid all this money to get me here.”

“What does your heart say? Can you forgive Caleb?”

“I don’t know. I love him, but he hurt me a lot. If I could turn that off instantly, I would.”

“So, maybe the question to ask yourself is whether or not you want to live your life without him. Relationships aren’t always perfect. They have good times and hard times. It’s up to each of us to decide if the love goes deep enough to stick things out. The romance part of it is fun, but true love will step forward when the going gets tough. Just something for you to consider.”

Her words made sense, but I needed more time to rethink everything. “Does he know you called me?”

“No. In fact he forbade us and the other guys from trying to reach you. He said he wanted you to have the time you needed to figure things out. He didn’t want you running home just because you were worried about him being hurt.”

I smiled. “So you’re breaking his rule?”

“Yes. I know my daughter. I also don’t want you mad at me because I left you out of the loop.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’m glad you called.”

“Take your time, but think things over. He’s hurting badly, but he’s trying to stick it out on his own. Whatever you decide, we’ll support you in your decision.”

“Okay. Thank you. I love you.”

“Love you too, sweetie.”

Hanging up, I curled into a ball. When did life become so complicated? It felt like everything was falling apart at the seams.

There was one thing I was sure of though. Tonight proved I was still crazy in love with Caleb. I just didn’t know if I could forgive him enough to get past the hurt. Could I look him in the eye and forget everything that had happened?

Glancing down at the phone in my hand, my resolve seemed to drain away from me. Quietly, I tapped Caleb’s number into it.

Mom called. I’m so sorry 4 everything U’ve been through. I’m sorry I hurt U 2. Feeling a little lost right now. I don’t know what 2 do anymore.
I stared at the words for merely a moment before pressing send.

It wasn’t long before my cell vibrated.
I’m okay, Anna. Don’t worry about me. Take all the time U need. U know where to find me if U decide U can ever forgive me.

He was going to continue giving me the space I’d forced on him. I wasn’t sure if I was happy about that or not. True, I wasn’t sure if I could get past all of this yet, but I missed him like mad.

I still love U, Caleb. But what is love without trust? I don’t know how 2 trust U again.
I typed out, hitting send. Holding my phone in my hand, I stared at the screen for the next thirty minutes before I finally realized he wasn’t going to text me back.