Terms of Service (20 page)

His mouth twitched.  Hannah saw it and she leaned back.  She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot.  His mouth twitched again.  It took her a moment, but suddenly she realized he was trying not to smile.  She bit her cheek for a moment while she studied him.  “You aren’t mad?”

Gavin picked her up and held her close.  “Oh, I was mad.  That was my knee-jerk reaction.  And then you laid into me.”  He shook his head at her.  “No one speaks to me like you do.”

“Well, maybe they should,” Hannah said with a bit of a grin on her face.  

“Nobody but you could get away with it.”  He poked her on the end of her nose and bent to give it a light kiss.

“Why is that?”  Hannah asked breathlessly, eyes wide with hope and curiosity.

“Simple.  It’s because…”

He was about to pour out his heart to her.  Hannah could tell. Then Madge called to them from just outside the door.  “There’s a delivery for you, Mr. Meyers?”  She looked concerned, but before anyone else could say or do anything, he had rushed from the studio, leaving Hannah hanging once again.

It was a boat.  The delivery was a boat.  After Gavin rushed from the room, Hannah had to know what was more important than finishing their conversation.  She found him out in the driveway.  He was standing there with a boat, a huge, hulking sailboat.

Gavin was standing proudly on the deck.  How he had managed to climb up there so quickly, she couldn’t even imagine.  He beamed as he stood, checking it all out, looking around, touching the boat and examining it almost as carefully as he had her just a few nights before.  She tingled at the memory.

“So, what do you think?”  He was so excited he was practically giddy.

Hannah walked around the boat.  The keel was huge.  As little as she knew about sailing, she already knew they would need a dingy to get close to shore with such a keel.  She continued around and that’s when she saw it.

“Oh, my word!”  She was shocked.

“What?”  He tried to look innocent, but it was no use.

“You bought
that
boat!”  She wrapped her arms around her body.  He bought the boat they spent the weekend on and she was going to have to look at it and remember, all the time.  It was too much.  “I…I don’t even know what to say.”  Then, she turned on her heels and marched into the house.

***

Gavin stared as she stormed off.  Part of him wanted to run after her, but the reality was he had to handle the boat at the moment.  So he gave the driver directions for the boat launch.  So off they went.

Just over two hours later, Gavin masterfully pulled up to the dock.  He secured the boat on several of the cleats.  When he finished he looked up at the windows.  He wondered if she could see him.  He wondered even more what would happen next.

They didn’t speak until dinner, and then only because Gavin asked Hannah to pass the broccoli.  He had given her the afternoon to get back to herself.  He left her to be artsy or bake or read or drink tea or any of the hundreds of little things he’d noticed the past few weeks she did to self- soothe.  Clearly, none of it had worked.  Maybe he should have sought her out.  For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why she was upset.  He kept playing it over in his mind, kept trying to see it from her perspective, but still he came up with nothing.

***

Hannah cleaned up after dinner in silence.  Gavin stuck it out.  She had to give him credit.  She had imagined he might go hide in his office.  Instead, he worked alongside her like normal.  He tried to joke with her like normal.  It was obvious he wanted life back to normal.  Hannah wasn’t there yet.  She was too busy trying to figure out what he was thinking.  She knew it would take a while longer to find that out.  Once the girls were done with their nightly routine, they would talk.  She was certain.

When she knocked and entered the study that night, Gavin was ready for her.  He was sitting on the couch, instead of his usual seat.  When she walked in, he motioned for her to join him.  “Hannah,” he began slowly, “I don’t understand why you are upset with me.  Can you help me?  Can you explain why you are so bothered?”  Then, like the businessman he was, he sat quietly and waited.

Familiar with this tactic, Hannah tried to figure out how to explain all her conflicting emotions without admitting her feelings.  She breathed deeply a couple of times.

“Listen, I’m happy for you.  Obviously, you have decided to pursue your dreams and move to the Caribbean.  I’m going to work on being happy for you.  I’m just sad for me and the girls.  I like it here.  We were finally settled.  We were finally feeling safe again.”  She looked up at him and gave him a wicked smile.  “And I really enjoyed the use of the studio.”

Gavin chuckled.  “Okay.  So that’s it?  That’s what’s bothering you?”  He reached behind the couch to the sofa table and grabbed a hot tea he’d made for her in her favorite mug.  “Here.”

Taking the offered mug, Hannah nearly smiled.  “Oh, did you make this for me?”  He smiled and nodded.  “You’re so big.”

***

Finally, she was teasing him again.  Everything was going to be okay.  He was so happy to see her mood change he didn’t even care she ever so smoothly changed the subject as well.  He never had a chance to finish his thought, to correct her thinking.  Suddenly he was distracted by the twinkle in her eye, her playful demeanor.

“So,” Hannah began, “is there a chance that you’ll be teaching me to sail, since you are now the proud owner of a sailboat?”

Excited to share his passion with the woman he had so quickly grown to love, Gavin grabbed her hand and dragged her down the path to the dock.  Soon he was going over the basics of the sailboat, teaching her the proper terminology.  Even though it seemed like Hannah tried to concentrate, it was obvious her mind was elsewhere.

Chapter Sixteen

In the evenings, Gavin and the girls would play out on the sailboat while Hannah made dinner.  On the weekends, they would spend all day out on the water, exploring every last bit of Lake Norman.  It was perfect.  While she had decided to enjoy each day, when she let herself relax too much, she would feel a twinge, a gentle reminder just beneath the surface, telling her she was living on borrowed time.

While lost in thought one evening, Gavin interrupted her reverie. “Hannah,” he began.  “Is everything okay?  You’ve seemed so distant.”

“Of course,” she answered pasting on a happy face.

“You seem distracted half the time, like you aren’t really with us.”  Gavin folded his hands on the desk.

He had stopped wearing his business suits and had recently adopted a more casual style of polo shirts and khakis.  Hannah rather liked it.  She had also noticed he now had tan lines on his face from wearing sunglasses.  It was a good look for him.  He looked healthy and happy.  In her heart, she knew the Caribbean was the right move.  It was just hard letting go of her dreams.  It was even harder admitting it out loud, but maybe it was best to get these things out in the open.  Then she would at least have a time frame.

Hannah took a breath.  “I’ve been wondering how much time we have?”

Gavin looked puzzled.  “For what?”

“Before you leave and I have to find somewhere else to live.”  She heaved a sigh of relief.  At least it was out in the open.

He slammed back in his chair.  “You aren’t coming with me?  We aren’t going as a family?”  He was spluttering and almost at a loss for words.

“You thought I was…you just expected we were all going?”  She wore a confused look on her face.

“I asked you about living my dream with me.”  His voice trailed off and he shrugged as if it was the best explanation.

Hannah smiled now, more at ease.  “You said live the dream for a weekend.  The weekend is over, chief.”

“You know, if we move to the Caribbean and live on a boat, every day could be the weekend.” Gavin leaned toward her once more.

Somehow, looking into his amazing clear blue eyes reminded her too much of the water they had sailed and swam in. Hannah heard herself respond in a way she never imagined.  “Let’s see how this weekend goes first.”  Yet even as she spoke those words, she knew if he pushed her, she would pack up the girls and go.  Caribbean Gavin could prove to be the love of her life.

Since he had made his intentions known, the weekend felt so much different.  Hannah paid a lot more attention to his instruction, especially the parts she truly deemed important, like the knots.

“Let’s see your Flemish knot,” Gavin said before they had even pulled away from the dock.  “You’ll be using this one a lot.”

Hannah very carefully performed the double eight knot that he had asked to see.  “I’ll get faster,” she assured him.

“Do you remember what this knot is for?”  Gavin gently tested her.

Sighing, Hannah admitted she didn’t.  “Refresh my memory, please.”

Gavin sat beside her and made the knot in the halyard.  “This is a stopping knot.  It’s great because it will hold the sheet in place.  It won’t be able to back out of here.  More importantly, unlike some knots which are impossible to untie and, therefore, have to be cut out, wasting rope, this one can be undone and retied again elsewhere.”

The way he was explaining it, the loving manner with which he demonstrated all of it, he was talking about more than sailing.  There was something special about this knot.  He saw a correlation with their relationship.  She smiled as she thought about it.

Soon they were sailing on the lake.  It was going to be the first time the girls experienced life on anchor.  In all honesty, for them it wasn’t going to be a big change.  They would still have a bathroom to use.  They would still take a bath.  It was the adults who would have to watch the water stores more carefully and make the biggest adjustments in their diets.

The first evening, the girls were swimming around the boat with Gavin while Hannah grilled their food.  She was pretty proud of herself.  She had made aluminum pouches of individualized meals.  There were layered ingredients consisting of thinly sliced potatoes, onions, chicken, broccoli and carrots, all seasoned with white wine, salt, pepper, and garlic.

“Is it really dinner that smells so good?”  Gavin asked in surprise as he climbed the swim ladder behind the girls.

“Of course,” Hannah replied smiling.

She helped the girls towel dry and sent them down below to change and hang up their wet suits.  The minute she turned around, Gavin stood mere inches from her.  His bronzed skin glistened from the water.  His hair looked charmingly tousled from the brisk towel drying.  Then he leaned in suddenly, impulsively, and kissed her on the neck.

“What was that for?”  The act was pleasantly surprising.

“That,” he said happily, “is for being here, for taking a chance on me, for encouraging me to live my dream and, hopefully, for sharing it with me?”  Then he ducked below to change before dinner.

Hannah was left standing there, touching the kiss spot and wondering what it all meant.

After the girls settled in for the night, Hannah and Gavin had their first chance to relax and talk.  They were topside, admiring the velvet black sky, studded with stars.  Hannah was sipping a tea.  Gavin had offered her wine, but she wanted a clear head.  She didn’t want the excitement and the wine to affect her judgment like last time.  Make it the last two times.  Okay, the entire weekend.  Sheesh.

“Are you happy?”  He seemed to be trying to decipher the look on her face.

“Absolutely,” Hannah responded honestly.

“Then what is it?  You’ve been so different, so quiet.  I thought we talked about all this.  I thought we had a plan.”  He looked confused and worried, his eyebrows nearly touched, he was clenching his hands as he spoke and his smile seemed forced.

Before answering, Hannah reached out to soothe the worry from his face.  Silly man.  Did he not know the power he had over her?  Did he not understand it took but a touch, a few words, a simple gesture, and he could make her come completely undone?  Her heart pounded fiercely in her chest.  Maybe the problem was she, too, was trying to figure out what to do, what to say.  As much as it had always felt so natural between them, they had hit a wall, a place where everything needed to be ironed out, spelled out, completely deciphered so she could relax again.  It was easy to be his assistant.  It was easy to cook and clean and act as his work wife.  It wasn’t easy to involve her heart, to admit she had feelings.  It wasn’t easy to trust when so much was on the line.

***

Gavin knew they needed to talk, more than sensed it, he felt it in his being.  Somehow his need to soothe her with actions overtook his desire to soothe her with words.  It had been like this for as long as he had known her.  Never before had he been so demonstrative.  In fact, this may have been one of India’s primary complaints.  It was why he thought taking the classes and giving her massages would be so special.  It would be the ultimate physical contact.  But he had never massaged India.  She never even knew the lengths he had gone to for her.  Before she could find out, he found her with his sister.

The worst part of the horrible moment forever seared in his memory was the passion.  They were so involved with each other, so passionate they hadn’t heard him come into the house, walk up the stairs, or enter the bedroom.  He was roaring at the side of the bed, arms flailing, before they stopped and acknowledged his presence.  Even then, he swore they’d rather finish than listen to him.  He grew quiet as he replayed the scene in his mind.

Now Hannah was here, caressing his cheek, pushing his hair away from his face.  He couldn’t help himself.  He held her hand against his cheek.  Then he dragged her palm to his lips and kissed lingeringly, lovingly.  When he opened his eyes and looked at her face, he smiled.  He knew what to do.  He knew what she needed.

“Come on,” Gavin said, pulling her after him as he moved to go below.

***

Part of Hannah wanted to protest.  She wanted to object.  She wanted to know what was going on in his head and his heart before she ever let him back into her body.  Yet she felt powerless.  She had to go with him.  She had to know what would happen next.  As every moment passed, she was assaulted with feelings she’d never felt before, never knew existed.

Suddenly, all those silly romance movies made sense to her.  She understood why the girl’s leg would pop up during a kiss.  She knew why people said corny things about completing each other.  All the mysteries of the universe were made abundantly clear because she now loved.

Slowly, lovingly, Gavin undressed her.  She started to say something, but he simply put a finger to her lips.  “Not yet,” he said.  Then he looked deeply into her eyes.  “Trust me.  You’ve done it before.  Trust that I won’t hurt you or make a fool of you.  Trust me.”

How could she not when he spoke in such a way?  So she closed her eyes and nodded.  She let him have his way.  With the acceptance, she realized the fear had subsided.  She looked at him with astonishment.

“Lay down,” Gavin murmured in her ear.

She was on her back staring at him seconds later.  When he shook his head and smiled, she was both confused and surprised.

“On your stomach, please.”  He turned and started rifling through his bag on the floor.

Hannah did as he requested.  He had even said ‘please.’  Before the fear could take hold, his hands were on her, rubbing her, working out the tension, soothing her, comforting her.  Tears came to her eyes.  Her senses were overwhelmed.

“Shhh, baby,” he whispered into her hair.  “Just relax and enjoy.”

Exhaling slowly, she did.  He melted her.  He made her completely boneless.  When he was done, when he saw to it she couldn’t move even if she wanted to, he simply undressed, curled up around her, and together they fell asleep.  Hannah had her hand on his chest.  Her last words before drifting off were those of appreciation.  “Thank you,” she sighed.  “You are
amazing
.”

***

Gavin tried to show her every way he knew how that he loved her and wanted to be with her.  Words simply escaped him at the moment.  He knew what he would say in business.  He knew how to handle clients and contacts and employees, which was why he felt so comfortable and confident when they first started this little arrangement.

He sighed as he drank his coffee and watched the sunrise topside.  This was supposed to be a simple game of revenge for him.  This was supposed to help him heal.  He was going to be stronger and better.  Looking off into the distance, he paused.  He
was
healing.  Easter had proven it.  Seeing India and his sister and surviving it unscathed proved it.  Being with Hannah had healed him, the little minx.  He leaned down and looked below into their cabin.  He had intentionally left the curtain open so he could see her sleeping, her hair spread out over the pillows, the relaxation evident from the peaceful look on her face.  He was stronger and better.  Love had healed him in a way revenge never would’ve.  Gavin leaned back and smiled.

***

Hannah woke to the sun streaming through the porthole.  She opened her eyes and discovered quickly Gavin wasn’t in their bed.  She grabbed the nearest shirt, again his, and headed topside.

“Hey,” she said with a smile.  “I wondered where you went.”  She slid onto the fiberglass bench beside him.

“Nice shirt.”  His eyes showed he was happy to lend it to her.

“Thanks, I picked it myself.”  She brushed off a piece of lint she found on the shoulder.  “I’ll be right back.  I’m going to grab a tea.”

Suddenly Gavin reached out and touched her.  “Can you wait just a minute?  I have a question, something I wanted to talk to you about.”  He looked nervous, which gave Hannah hope.

Maybe he was finally going to address her fears.  “Sure.” She sat down and smiled at him.

“So, I was thinking.  Next weekend is Mother’s Day. “  He paused to watch for a reaction.

“Yes,” Hannah began.  “Spit it out, Gavin.”

He paused and stared at her.   He was lost in thought again.

“Gavin!”  Hannah was getting agitated.  She wanted her tea.  She needed to use the head.  Plus, the girls would be up any time.

“I was wondering if you and the girls would like to go with me to visit my mother in Florida next weekend.”  He said the words in a huge rush.

“Is that all?”  She looked at him.  He nodded.  Feeling a bit disappointed, but not wanting to be deterred from her morning ritual, she said quickly, “Sure.”  Then she ducked back down into the cabin.

***

Huh.  That wasn’t so bad.
 Gavin thought to himself.  He sat there imagining what the trip to visit his mother would be like.  With Hannah and the girls around, his vision of the experience wasn’t half bad.  By the time Hannah returned with her tea, he was actually smiling.