Terms of Service (17 page)

“I’m not her,” Hannah said in a gentle voice.  “And you aren’t who you were back then.”  She walked slowly towards him and reached out to take his hand.  “More importantly, this, what’s between us, is entirely different.”

Gavin studied her.  She spoke the truth, especially the part about what was between them being different.  He had never felt for India as he did for Hannah.  Of that, he was certain.  The more he contemplated and struggled to understand why he was so affected by the demise of his relationship, the more he began to suspect it was the betrayal and the damage to his pride, not losing India.

***

Hannah had managed to move Gavin ever so subtly into the room.  Before he had an opportunity to collect his thoughts and recognize his surroundings, she had him next to the bed.  “You can hold me tonight if you want,” she offered hesitantly.  She told herself this was for Gavin, not because she craved his touch, or the warmth and security he provided.  “All night.”

Looking down, Gavin studied her fingers laced through his and he caressed her hand with his thumb.  “You’re volunteering to be my human teddy bear?”  He made a feeble attempt at a joke.

Smiling, she said, “It’s just one of the many services I offer here.”

His look changed entirely and he moved closer to her.  She could feel the heat of him radiating towards her as he drew near.  She swallowed hard.

“What are some of the other services?” he asked in a low suggestive voice.

Her eyes widened and her mouth went suddenly dry.  She struggled to find an appropriate witty remark, but drew a complete blank.  Instead, she was flooded with images of what could be between them.

“Another time, perhaps,” he said with a chuckle at her reaction to his innuendos.  “I’ll take you up on your offer.”  He sat on the edge of the bed and inhaled deeply.  He pulled off his shoes and socks, then took off his shirt and pants.  

Hannah was already blushing.  She couldn’t imagine how she would survive with him so close and so naked.  She swallowed.  Surely he couldn’t expect to sleep with her wearing only his boxer shorts.  She squeezed her eyes shut as she was once again assaulted with images of them in a passionate embrace, his hands exploring her body.  When she opened her eyes once more, he was laying under the covers.

“Won’t you join me?”  

Slowly, Hannah walked over to her side of the bed, trying to regain the confidence she had previously, before he started torturing her with his nearness, his nearly nakedness, and the promise of his touch.  Opening the robe, she let it drop to the floor beside the bed and heard him inhale sharply.  She was wearing a racer back tank and cheekster shorts.  It had seemed like a good idea at the time.  She climbed under the covers and rolled to face him for the first time in several minutes.

He ran a hand down the side of her cheek, traced her jaw with a finger and smiled when she shivered.  “Roll over,” he commanded gently.

As though completely mesmerized, she did as he requested.  Soon, his arms were wrapped around her; his body spooned to fit hers.  Somehow, despite the staggering difference in their heights, he had managed to fit his legs to hers perfectly.  He had drawn her hips to his pelvis so she could feel every bit of him.  His arm had neatly encircled her waist and been tucked under her hip.  It felt…divine.  Closing her eyes, she savored the feel of him, the slightly coarse hair on his thighs, the way his strong chest felt pressed against her back, how nicely his head fit over her shoulder, pressed against hers.  She could feel his deep even breaths, matched hers to his and quickly fell asleep.

Chapter Thirteen

Gradually Hannah woke as sunshine streamed through the window, the beams beating painfully against her eyelids.  She stretched contentedly only to realize the hand around her midsection tightened ever so subtly in response.  She tested again, trying to edge slightly away, only to find herself hauled back into the warmth of his body.  She felt joy bubbling up within her and was about to test again when Gavin spoke.

“Stop,” he groaned as he held her in his steely grip.

Hannah couldn’t complain.  There was nowhere she would rather be.  Sighing blissfully, she closed her eyes once more and surrendered to his embrace.  Once relaxed, she thought about their night and quickly realized she’d had the best most restful sleep in a good long time.  Even their night in the lounge chair couldn’t compete with snuggling in her bed.

She might have stayed wrapped in the warmth of her recollections of the evening and his embrace, but Hannah realized she could hear the sounds of the girls struggling to be quiet and worried they might disturb Gavin’s mother.  “Well, shitake mushrooms,” she mourned as she bound out of bed.

Gavin lifted one eye.  “What?”  He seemed irritated.  

“The girls are awake,” she explained.  “And I have no doubt in their efforts to be quiet they’ll wake your mother and ruin her morning.”

Nodding, Gavin understood.  “I’m sure mother will be eager to spend time with them.  Don’t worry.”  He patted the bed.  “Come rest a few more minutes.”  

She studied him a moment.  It was tempting.  Man, was it tempting.  She knew what happened, however, when one gave in to temptation.  Sighing she said, “Sorry.  Some other time.”  Then she threw her robe over her pajamas and walked from the room.

Once she arrived in the kitchen, Hannah worked to get the coffee made, boil water for tea, and bake muffins for breakfast.  The girls were in the keeping room watching cartoons and drawing pictures.  They were determined to send artwork back to Florida with Mrs. Meyers.  Hannah only hoped the woman would appreciate their efforts.

Soon the rest of the house was alive.  Madge had come over to relieve Hannah so she could shower and dress for the day.  Mrs. Meyers had made an appearance and was eating breakfast with the girls in the dining room.  Only Gavin had yet to be heard from.

As Hannah mounted the stairs, she realized she secretly hoped he’d still be there, lying contentedly in her bed.  She slowly pushed the doors open and realized it wasn’t to be.  A frown darkened her face.  Where could he be?  Fighting the disappointment, she made her way to the bathroom and started the shower.

The room was steaming up nicely while she picked her clothes for the day and brushed her teeth.  She took her vitamins and grabbed a towel.  After discarding her clothes in the hamper, she stopped before the mirror, stunned.  He had left her a note invisible to the naked eye, but once the mirror fogged up…clearly readable.  
Meet me on the patio for breakfast.  I’ll be waiting
.  With a giggle, feeling ever so much more light-hearted, she hopped in the shower and rushed to get ready.

For reasons she couldn’t explain, Hannah’s heart pounded as she grabbed her mug and walked out to the patio.  There he was, as promised.  Gavin was looking at least as delicious as the food he had laid out for them.  The fact that he drew her attention first truly attested to the depth of her feelings for him.  She inhaled sharply.

***

“You came,” he said simply.

“You invited me,” she reminded him as she crossed the distance between them.

Gavin pulled out her chair and waited while she sat.  He pushed it in a comfortable depth for her and leaned in to plant a kiss on her neck.  Feeling Hannah shiver at his touch made him smile slightly.

“I just wanted you to myself for a few moments.  Whenever my mother is around she has a way of taking over and disrupting things.”  He was trying to explain away the obvious.  He knew she probably saw through him, but he didn’t care.  Why couldn’t he just admit he wanted to be with her, spend more time with her, and get to know her better, the way a man should know a woman, especially the woman he had grown to love.  He sighed miserably.

Studying his face, Hannah nodded seriously.  “I understand.”   A slow smile brightened her face.

Before they knew it, they were engrossed in conversation over an impressive breakfast.  Madge had made them fruit salad and Eggs Benedict.  She had supplied pastries and thick slices of bacon.  If questioned later, neither one of them would’ve been able to recall what they’d eaten.

***

Mrs. Meyers had watched them from the kitchen window, smiling.  This was going better than she could have predicted, better than she could ever have hoped.  If only she could be sure the meal she had planned for them tomorrow wouldn’t ruin everything, she might be able to relax.  Instead, she would stay on her guard.  All she knew for certain was there was promise here, potential.  Gavin was changing in all the right ways.  She knew she had Hannah to thank for it.

***

After cleaning up from breakfast, the girls were ready to color eggs.  This was a momentous occasion for them.  This time, they were each offered three dozen eggs to color.  When Hannah had reacted with surprise at the large number and concern over the waste of it all, Gavin had reminded her he was footing the bill and this was his first holiday with the girls.  There was a warning and edge to his voice as he announced it, an edge that made Hannah back down, but not without giving a disapproving growl.  She had simply turned on her heels and exited the room until her temperament returned to normal and she could be certain she wouldn’t snap on an innocent bystander.

It would take more than a few minutes before she felt ready to return to the patio where the decorating was taking place.  Mrs. Meyers found her before then.  Hannah turned in her pacing, only to find the woman standing in the doorway watching her with a smile.

“Oh!” Hannah exclaimed.

“Please carry on, dear,” Mrs. Meyers began.  “You wouldn’t be the first woman driven to pacing in this house by my often insufferable son.”

Smiling Hannah said, “Certainly not you.”

Nodding, Mrs. Meyers gestured to the keeping room couch.  “Please join me before you wear a path in the floor.”  She chuckled.

Hannah blushed slightly.  “I know it’s unseemly behavior.”

“Oh, no, dear.  I completely understand.  Gavin has a gift for bringing out the worst in people.”  She studied Hannah for a moment.  “Now what has he done to upset you?”

Sighing, Hannah tried to figure out how to explain.  “I hate when he over does.  I don’t want the girls to get used to this life of excess I will never be able to provide on my own.  I wish we could find a balance between what he’s used to and what I’m comfortable with.”

Mrs. Meyers studied her with an approving smile  “You’re uncomfortable with money?”

Hannah emitted a hollow laugh.  “Oh, I’m comfortable with money, as long as it’s my money.  I’m not comfortable with other people spending money on me.  I don’t like feeling beholden to people or living beyond my means.”  She dropped her hands to express what she felt helpless to explain.  “I don’t suppose any of this makes sense to you?”

Reaching over and grabbing Hannah’s hand in both of hers, Mrs. Meyers said, “Oh, I understand quite well.  It’s a very admirable quality.  I hope you get comfortable.  Gavin will insist.  Comfortable enough, that is.  And I believe that if you are patient with Gavin, and firm, he will bend some to your ways.”  She watched Hannah for a reaction for a moment.  “Now, what if we go watch the girls finish coloring their eggs?”

After a slight nod and weak smile, Hannah felt relieved enough to join the older woman and walked out to the patio.  Maybe Mrs. Meyers was right.  Gavin just needed to understand all of this from her perspective.  They could find a happy medium.  He wasn’t unreasonable.  Extravagant, yes.  Unreasonable, no.

The remainder of the afternoon was completely uneventful.  Then there was dinner, which was another story altogether.  Hannah had decided to make something she considered safe.  It was a roast.  She had managed to get it into the crockpot earlier.  It wasn’t difficult.  Cut up some potatoes, carrots, and onions.  Throw a roast on top of it.  Pour the water and seasoning.  Let sit and simmer.  Hannah had become a big fan of the crockpot when Brett moved out.  As a single mother, she had a difficult time figuring out how to be everywhere, do everything, and feed the girls healthy meals, hence the crockpot.  Plus they could dine on leftovers for days!

So, when it came time to sit down to dinner that evening, everyone should have been relaxed.  Instead, Gavin was even more tense than normal.  The longer the day went on the worse he became until finally, after he snapped at Zoe when she didn’t pass him the butter in a timely fashion, Hannah had enough.

“That is it,” she proclaimed, grabbing her napkin off her lap, throwing it on the table, and standing abruptly.  “Can I talk to you in the study, please?”

Instead of waiting for him to answer, Hannah stalked off.  When she reached the doorway and he had yet to move, she tapped her foot impatiently.  Gavin’s head was down.  After exhaling slowly he, too, laid his napkin on the table and plodded toward the study.  He had some explaining to do.

As she walked past, Mrs. Meyers smiled into her napkin and dabbed at the corners of her mouth.  Standing in the middle of the room, Hannah looked up when she heard the door click shut.  Gavin had entered and walked to his desk.  Slowly, he sat, folded his hands on the desk and looked at her expectantly.  She hadn’t quite formulated what she wanted to say, and feared speaking before she was truly ready.  In her emotional state, she hadn’t decided the approach. She was simply an angry mama lion protecting her cubs, while trying to respect the king of the pride.

***

“May I sit here?” Gavin asked.

“Of course.  Sit wherever you want.  It’s your house.”  She growled and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Is it?  It feels less and less like my house.”  He leaned back in his chair.  “You move in with your kids and completely outnumber me.  You started redecorating the place.  Now I’m getting scolded.  To top it all off, I’m paying you for this!”

Hannah’s mouth twitched.  For a moment he thought she might smile.  After all, when he put it that way, it was rather funny.  Only this was no laughing matter.  He couldn’t mistreat the girls when they did nothing wrong.  They were just little.   

“I’m sorry, Hannah,” Gavin began quietly, leaning forward once more in his leather chair.  “I know I snapped at Zoe.  I know she didn’t deserve it.  I know I overreacted.  Did I miss anything?”

Hannah nodded sadly.  “Just the why.”

“What?”  Gavin looked at her confused.

“Why are you acting like this?  I thought we had a nice night. I thought we had a great morning.  Despite the fact your extravagance annoys me, I thought we had a pretty great day.  The girls colored eggs, they have quite enchanted your mother, and everyone is happy and getting along, but you!”  She walked over to the desk and sat down in her chair across from him.  “Why, Gavin?  Why are you acting like this?  Why are you ruining our night and hurting Zoe’s feelings?”

He swallowed hard thinking about it.  It was never his intention to hurt the girls.  They were precious.  They had really grown on him already, just like their mother.  He raised his eyes to the ceiling.  Clearly, everything had changed.  His worrying wasn’t helping.  “It’s tomorrow,” he said slowly.  “I’m dreading it.”

“Tomorrow is Easter,” Hannah reminded him.  “What’s to dread?  The girls hunt for eggs in the yard.  We eat a big breakfast.  I try to convince you to join us for church.  We come home, have an amazing dinner and then relax before bed.  Am I missing something?”

Gavin liked the way she described the day.  He could see it.  All of it.  He would even bend and go to church to make the women in his life happy.  He did a mental head slap.  Now he was thinking of Hannah as one of the women in his life.  Crap.  He shook his head to rid himself of that idea.

“I’m not missing anything?  Really?”  Hannah sounded as exasperated as she looked.

“Oh, no.  You are missing someone.  Two someones.”  He looked at Hannah, finally ready to drop this bombshell.  It was time to face her reaction.

“Well?”

Offering a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, Gavin answered.  “My sister and her girlfriend will be here.”

“Okay.  So your sister is a lesbian.  So what?”  She looked genuinely confused.

“Her girlfriend…is my ex-wife.”  There it was.  He had said it.

Hannah slammed back into her chair.  It seemed she couldn’t speak.  He could practically see her processing what he’d said.  This was no simple fling, no indiscretion.  They were still together.

“So now you know.”  He said the words matter-of-factly.  There was really nothing more to say.  He couldn’t go into details.  He really didn’t know the details himself.  All he knew was he came home from a weekend seminar where he was doing everything in his power to save his marriage, only to find his wife and sister together in his bed.

He doubted the pain would’ve been lessened if it had been a man, but it might have.  He could’ve hit a man.  He could’ve pummeled a man.  He could’ve beat the tar off a man.  Instead, he kicked them out, his wife and sister, sent them packing.  Then he took out every little last bit of aggression on the room.  The first hole was an accident out of frustration.  He punched.  The wall caved.  There was a second of satisfaction, hearing the crunch.  There was a moment when he imagined tearing the entire room apart.  He used his hands until he broke the first knuckle.  Then he went to the garage and found one of the few tools he actually owned.  The hammer had been a gag gift from India, a dig at the fact he wasn’t handy.  He hired someone else to fix everything.  Now his sister was doing the one thing he could never do: make India happy.