Terms of Service (18 page)

The hammer did plenty of damage.  Since he had a spare room, he moved into it and left this room as a constant reminder to what happened when he let his heart get involved.  Only the more he thought about it, the less he imagined his heart had anything to do with it.  Did he love India
ever
?  After he discovered how he felt about Hannah, he could no longer be sure.  Maybe he loved the chase.  Maybe it was his pride that hurt so much and not his heart.  Maybe it was just a huge wounded ego he was suffering from.  All he had to do was look at Hannah to know his heart was intact.

Hannah looked into his eyes. “Now I know.”  She stood and started to walk away, but paused at her seat.  “Just be nice.”  She took a few steps.

“To them?”  He was outraged.

“No.”  She shook her head seriously.  “To my girls.  I don’t care how you treat
them
.”  She stopped before the study door and paused just before opening it.  Looking at Gavin she commented, “Don’t be one of those people for whom anyone will suffice as a target for their anger.  You’re better than that.”

Then she went back to join the girls and his mother as they finished dinner.  Gavin hung his head.  He was supposed to be better than that.  Ah, but if he was, she wouldn’t be here.  And if she found out, she’d leave.  Somehow he didn’t think he could feel any worse or be any more afraid.

***

The weather on Easter Sunday was absolutely ideal.  The sky was a gorgeous cloudless blue.  The grass was an incredible shade of green.  All the flowers in the beds and trees in the yard were in bloom.  It looked like it should be a picture on a post card, or an advertisement in some magazine.  It was practically Photoshopped perfection.

In this idyllic scene, Hannah glowed.  The night before she had fallen asleep once more in Gavin’s arms.  Though he still seemed tense, he had been much more pleasant to be around.  He even had surprised her by apologizing to Zoe for snapping at her.  Mrs. Meyers choked on her coffee while Hannah had beamed.  This was the Gavin she knew and loved.  She swallowed hard.  It was just an expression.

The girls had on their Easter dresses and were traipsing around the yard with their baskets collecting the eggs and squealing in delight every time they found one.  It was easy to be happy in such a setting.  Yet Gavin wasn’t happy in the least.

***

Gavin had woken up with a knot in his stomach, which had only grown more intense as the day had worn on.  It was only 9 am.  By dinner, he’d be lucky if he could stand erect.  He just kept looking around and thinking about how badly the dinner could go, how mean India could be, how uncomfortable his sister could make people, and how snappish his mother would become if it didn’t end up being the love and forgiveness fest she hoped for.

The pressure.  Clearly, before the day was done, he’d have an ulcer.  Maybe it would be a bleeding ulcer.  Maybe he would start bleeding out of his rectum and have an excuse to go to the hospital.  This would be about the only acceptable reason to not suffer through the rest of the day with his cheating ex-wife, his lesbian black sheep sister, and his overbearing mother.  Then he looked at Hannah, all happiness and sunshine, all innocent and earnest.  God, how he adored her.

With a sigh, he accepted his fate.  He couldn’t leave her to face all this alone.  It was his fault she stumbled into this mess.  It was his fault India was his ex-wife.  He never should’ve married her to begin with.  It was his fault his sister didn’t have her dream job.  If he hadn’t been born, then she would have had to take over the company.  He could go on and on, thinking how different life could be.

That’s when Hannah wandered over.  “You can’t change the past,” she murmured in his ear as she walked behind him.

Even though he never would’ve thought it possible, his mouth formed an involuntary smile.  “Come here,” he insisted, reaching for her hand.  He pulled her toward him until she stumbled onto his lap.

Hannah let out a squeak and started to protest, but Gavin whispered in her ear.  “We’re supposed to be together, remember?”

Uttering a groan, Hannah remarked, “You are insufferable.”  She leaned back and smiled at him.  “But I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thank you for that,” he said sincerely.  Then while staring into her eyes, he kissed her hand.  She didn’t protest, so he grew more daring.  Slowly, pausing to see how far she’d let him take it, he kissed his way up her arm, right to the sweet spot in her neck where he had been longing to bury his face and inhale the sweet fresh scent of her.  He could stay there forever.  At the moment, it seemed like she might even let him.

***

Hannah couldn’t think.  She could barely breathe.  It was too much.  She was acutely aware of the slight stubble of his face against her skin, the scent of his cologne, all man, which made her think sexy thoughts about him.  Her eyes widened suddenly at the realization.  It had been so long.  She couldn’t remember the last time a man had truly aroused her interest in sex.  High school, but those were boys.  College…still boys.  Then Brett.  And he ruined it.  She had to wonder where he had been and if there was a chance she could be getting some disease, which really took the fun out of it.  Some day she wanted someone who would be true to her, who would think she was enough, maybe even more than enough.  They would have an amazing sex life.  For now, Gavin was certainly sparking a fire which hadn’t burned for so long.

Then, the inevitable happened.  India and Bitty arrived with a bottle of wine.  It was going to take more than that to appease his hostess.  When the doorbell rang, Hannah had taken a deep breath, grabbed his face, and planted a kiss on his lips.  “We’ve got this,” she said with an assurance he wanted to believe.  He opened the door.

It wasn’t what he expected.  He thought he’d feel something for India, something at all.  He thought he might feel an attraction or hatred or anger or something, but instead she was just someone he used to know, someone he had married who was now dating his sister.  He waited for a knot in his stomach, but it never came.  He had expected a tick under his eye, but it didn’t happen.  He invited them in almost graciously.

His mother was so proud she was beaming.  She was celebrating the holiday with both of her children.  Gavin could read it on her face.  Hannah, what did he see in her face?  She had walked confidently over to Bitty and India to introduce herself and her children.  India was looking about the home with obvious disdain.

In response, Hannah laughed.

“We’ve been redecorating,” she announced to India without a hint of guilt.  “Gavin told me I could do what I wanted to make myself feel at home.  You know how generous he is.  Oh, and he redid our room in a day.  I’m in love with the new carpet.”  She looked over at Gavin and smiled shyly.  “And Gavin, of course.”

“Of course,” India said and looked at Gavin sideways as though she was assessing him for a first time.

Hannah was wonderful.  The rest of the night was more of the same.  There were constant compliments as she built him up.  If she really only thought half so well of him, then he was very nearly a god in her eyes.  His heart swelled.  He started to relax.  With that relaxation came a realization he was letting his guard down, and then came the serious discussions.

“The family business should’ve gone to me,” Bitty mentioned.  “I’m the one who loves it.  Gavin is just doing his duty.”

India sighed.  “Gavin is very dutiful.  He does everything he’s supposed to.”

Hannah sipped her wine and tried to change the subject by offering dessert.  Only the women weren’t biting.  It seemed like they had come here with an agenda and they were just getting to it.  She glanced over at Rory and Zoe who sat quietly oblivious as they ate generous bowls of chocolate mousse.

Madge walked into the room drying her hands.  “Would you like me to get the girls bathed, ma’am?”  She asked Hannah nervously.

“I’d really appreciate that.  Thank you, Madge.”  The girls dutifully walked up the stairs on either side of Madge.

With the room cleared, Gavin grew more nervous, but Hannah reached out to him under the table and squeezed his hand.  “There’s nothing wrong with being a good son,” she said.  She smiled openly at him.

“Yes, he took over the business after his father passed and married just like he was supposed to,” India said haughtily, “even if his bride had no interest in marrying.”  She raised her glass and took a healthy swallow before setting it back down.  The glass wobbled then settled on the table.

Gavin started to open his mouth, but Hannah interjected.  “We’ve all made mistakes in our youth.  It’s how we learn.”

“Know what I learned?”  India slurred, the effects of multiple glasses of wine becoming evident.  “I learned if I had only gone to the airport, I would not be a divorcee today!”  She laughed at her joke, but Hannah didn’t understand it.  “He’s afraid of flying!” India explained as she cackled in delight.  “Can you imagine?”

Hannah gave his hand an extra squeeze.  “If you’ll excuse me, I have stories to read to the girls.  I’ll be down after.”  She leaned in and gave Gavin a warm kiss on the cheek and murmured into his ear, “Just breathe.”  Then she waltzed out of the room and up the stairs.

Staring up the stairs, Gavin marveled at her.  She was perfect.  How could he have ever thought he’d be able to hurt her?  How had he imagined she was evil and should be destroyed to punish her entire gender?  In truth, he was the one suffering.  He couldn’t lose her.

They spoke at last after the bath.  By the time she came downstairs, India and Bitty had taken their leave.  Gavin was finally breathing again.  Mrs. Meyers had retired for the evening, complaining of too much excitement.  And Madge had finished complaining about the former Mrs. Meyers and decided to go home since she would have to work again early the next morning.

“Take the day,” Hannah urged.

“Did Mr. Meyers say that?”  Madge asked.

“No, but it’s just common sense.  You worked all weekend to help us out.  You deserve some time off.  I’ll tell him.”  Without thinking, she walked to the study to discuss it with him.

“Hey, Gavin,” Hannah began with her usual knock and walk.

“Yes, dear,” he answered jovially without even looking up from his file.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

***

The conversation started with Madge.  He agreed with her.  Little did she know he wouldn’t deny her anything.  Gavin smiled as the conversation gradually changed.  Hannah wouldn’t take advantage of him anyway.  It gave him a confidence all previous relationships had lacked.  This wasn’t even a relationship
yet
.  If he had his way, it soon would be.  And Gavin was used to getting his way.

“So, you have a fear of flying?” Hannah asked casually as she opened her book to where she had left off the previous night.

His breath caught in his throat a moment.  Then he remembered
this was Hannah
.  She would never laugh at him or make him feel silly and insecure.  “My father died in a plane crash,” he said.

“That’s terrible!”  Hannah exclaimed, genuinely upset.

“Planes have always made me uneasy.  I never had a lot of confidence in the physics behind their success.  I had even less confidence in the people I’ve seen hired to maintain these planes.”  He shook his head.  “So, ever since the crash, I’ve opted to drive everywhere, or be driven.”

“How’s your mechanic?”  Hannah asked seriously.

Gavin smiled at her.  “I think we can both agree a motor dying on a car on the highway is a far cry from an engine dying on a plane 30,000 feet up.”

“You do have a point there, chief.”  She laughed.  “And I guess this means you’ll never whisk me off to the Bahamas for some business meeting?  We’ll never hop the red eye to London for breakfast?”  She joked with him.

He liked it.  Yet for Gavin, it made the wheels turn in his head.  Suddenly, he knew just what to do.

Of course, Hannah had one last question.  A question which made him rethink everything…his entire life…all his choices…everything that had brought him to where he was.  He hadn’t thought about any of it for so long.  It was an innocent question.

“You didn’t want the family business?  What did you want to be when you grew up?”

He shrugged.  “A firefighter.  Didn’t all little boys?”  He turned his attention back to his work to signal he was done talking.  Gavin had spent most of the day at his breaking point.  He needed some time to heal before further pressed.  Fortunately, he’d be sharing the bed with Hannah again tonight.  Having her near was a special kind of therapy.

Chapter Fourteen

Gavin left for work extra early without speaking to Hannah or the girls, without joining them for breakfast, without even saying his goodbyes.  He had much on his mind.  In fact, he had so much on his mind; he forgot he was supposed to bring his mother to the airport.

“I’ll call him, dear,” Mrs. Meyers said after she finished her first cup of coffee and everyone realized he was gone.

“I can take you to the airport.  I do love to make his life easier.”  She laughed as she sent the girls upstairs to brush their teeth.  “We just have to drop the girls off at their pre-school first.”

Soon they were on the road chatting like old friends.  By the time Hannah dropped Mrs. Meyers off at the airport; she hugged her and sincerely meant it when she told her to visit again soon.  Little did Hannah know this was the first time Mrs. Meyers had ever flown home with a smile on her face.

Gavin was smiling when he walked in the door that evening.  He walked directly over to Hannah, who was sitting in the keeping room working on her laptop.  He leaned low and planted a kiss on her neck.

“You smell great,” he murmured.

Hannah laughed.  “Thank you, but since your mother flew home today, you don’t have to do that any more.”

He stood up and froze.  “Oh, no.”  The disappointment in his voice was obvious, but Hannah misread the situation completely.

“Don’t worry.  I had time to get her to the airport.  The girls made it to pre-school.  And everyone is happy.”  She focused again on the site she was working on.  It was important she keep listing items for sale and building her bank account.  While she loved living here, she knew it wouldn’t last forever.  Nothing lasts forever.

***

Without another word, Gavin started to walk away.  He had so much to consider.  Now he had no excuse for sleeping with Hannah.  He had no excuse for kissing her, for holding her hand, for showing her the affection he longed to give her.  He sighed heavily.  His mother had left without even saying goodbye.

“Well, you didn’t say goodbye before you left either,” his mother snapped when he confronted her by phone shortly before dinner.

“Yes, but I didn’t say goodbye so you couldn’t leave.”  He bit his lip at the lie.  Sure enough his mother caught it.

“You forgot all about me.  Admit it.  What could be more important than your mother?  I’m not getting any younger, you know.  My next visit could be my last.”  She sighed.

“Oh, honestly, mother.  You will probably outlive me.  If you must know, I’m planning a trip with Hannah and the girls.”  Gavin was dying to tell someone.  With his mother all the way in Florida, she was his safest bet.

“Really.  Where to?”  

His mother was excited.  He could tell because he heard the chair creak.  She was leaning forward.  “You are pleased?”

“Oh, someone is at the door.  Talk to you soon, dear.”

Then she hung up, leaving Gavin to wonder why she couldn’t just admit to being happy or proud or anything positive.  It had always been that way, for as long as he could remember, but before he could give it too much thought, Hannah leaned into the room.

“Dinner is served, chief.”  She smiled at him before exiting.

Before he could help himself, Gavin had smiled back.  What the hell.  He didn’t even know who he was any more.  Yet the more time he spent with Hannah, the more he was finding out.

A call came in from his travel agent after dinner had Gavin scurrying to the study instead of helping Hannah in the kitchen like he usually did.  He mouthed he was sorry as he left the room.  Hannah didn’t seem the least bit bothered by his abrupt departure.

The girls, however, were bothered by his late arrival as they were reading after their bath.  Rory actually sighed.  He was taken aback at her reaction, but continued into the room to sit in his usual spot under Zoe on the bed.

Giggling over the entire incident as everyone settled in, Hannah asked Rory, “Where did I leave off?”

“With the fox!” Rory said excitedly, her displeasure instantly forgotten.

“Ah, yes,” she said.  “‘One only understands the things that one tames,’ said the fox.”  Hannah read, but as she did, she glanced up at Gavin, willing him to understand.

***
 

As happened so frequently after Hannah finished reading for the night, Gavin walked down the stairs in a stupor, mulling over the message to be gleaned from the story.  It was obvious, he sighed.  Hannah had tamed him.  He would forever be different because she had been in his life.  This wouldn’t be a bad thing, unless at some point she was no longer in his life.  He shivered some at the thought as he paused outside the study.

Though they hadn’t been living together for long, he was already struggling to remember what life was like before her.  Sure, she was headstrong and drove him crazy.  It was nice in a way.  At least he was feeling again.  Maybe the trip would help cement the bond for Hannah.  He could understand why she was hesitant to accept he might have feelings for her.  He could even understand why it might take her a long time to even contemplate reciprocating those feelings.  Suddenly, however, he hoped his life could be better and different.  And all of this was because Hannah had come into it.

***

When Hannah entered the study after tucking the girls in, she expected to find Gavin behind the desk where he usually was.  Instead, she found him outside, staring off toward the water.  It was dark enough she couldn’t see the lake’s edge, but from the sound of the waves lapping against the shore, she knew it was still there, close as it always was.

“Hey,” she called.  “What are you doing way out here?”

Gavin chuckled.  “Come here a moment,” he said with a smile.

It was going to take Hannah some time to get used to a Gavin who was more relaxed and quicker to smile.  At the same time, she liked it very much.  Just what she needed, for Gavin to be any more irresistible.  His mother had left just in the nick of time.  It was all she could do to keep from climbing into him at the end of the every night.  She found their fit was entirely too comfortable.  When they spooned, her bottom slid perfectly into the lap he created as though it was made just for her.  The way he wrapped his arms around her was so natural so good.  It felt like home.  She sighed at the memory.

“What brings you out here?  I thought you hated the water,” Hannah commented as she reached his side.

Gavin smoothly slid an arm around her waist and walked her down to the dock.  There was a sailboat there she’d never seen before.  She looked up at him and started to question when he stopped her.  “It belongs to a friend.  I borrowed it for demonstration purposes.”

She looked at him quizzically.  He was already standing on the boat with a confidence gained from years of experience.  He held out his hand and she climbed on.

“This is a 27- foot Lancer,” Gavin said.  “I usually prefer Hunters.  Have you ever sailed before?”

Shaking her head, Hannah replied, “Never.”  She inhaled the fresh night air and smiled.  “I’ve always wanted to, though.  I’d watch the sailboats from the beach all the time.  They looked so…free.”

“Funny,” he said.  “I’ve always felt precisely the same way.  I guess I always wanted freedom.”  He motioned for her to sit down and he did the same.  “I learned to sail at one of the camps my father shipped us off to every summer.  When all my friends were busy buying sports cars, I had a truck, a sailboat, and a dream.”

Hannah had been looking around, studying the boat in the moonlight while he spoke, but now, she gave him her full attention.  She could tell this was something big and meaningful, something he didn’t share with just anyone.  Here he was sharing it with her.  Her heart was bursting as it raced in her chest.

“I wanted to live in the Caribbean.  I wanted to teach people to sail, to offer charters for family vacations and business retreats, that kind of thing.  I wanted to be happy.”  He stared wistfully at the water.

“What happened?”  Hannah asked quietly, afraid to break the spell.

He let out a hollow laugh.  “My dream wasn’t big enough for my father.  He hadn’t worked hard to build a company for his son to be a bum.  He couldn’t leave a girl in charge, even if my sister was more interested and devoted.”

“Oh, Gavin,” she said seriously, “I’m so sorry.”

“It was the last fight I had with my father.  I was home from college in between semesters.  He was called away on business.  He told me we’d finish this discussion when he returned, only his plane crashed.  He never came back.  And…I…”  His voice trailed off.

Hannah helped him finish.  “So you took over out of guilt because this is what your father wanted?”

He nodded and leaned forward.  Because they were in such tight quarters on the boat, his head was practically in her lap.  Hannah reached out and ran her fingers through his hair.  She could feel him relax some at her nurturing touch.  She pulled his head close and pressed the side of her face against his.  Closing her eyes, she tried to imagine what his life had been like…all of it.  In her mind, she was lucky he’d turned out as well as he had.  He could’ve been bitter, filled with hatred, angry at the world.  Instead, he was a wonderful, kind, endearing man who was a bit uptight, which was totally fixable.

“Will you do something for me?”  Gavin asked, leaning back and taking both of her hands in his.  There was a sparkle in his eyes and Hannah would’ve agreed to anything to simply keep him looking this way.  She nodded happily.  “Will you and the girls go away with me this weekend?  Will you let me have my dream for just a weekend?”

She tilted her head to the side.  She wasn’t sure what he meant, but she was willing to go along for the ride.  “Absolutely,” Hannah said with far more confidence than she felt.  Quite honestly, she wasn’t sure what she’d just agreed to or where she was going, but she had taken a leap of faith before, when she placed the ad and moved in with Gavin.  Look how well it had turned out.  So they were living his dream for the weekend, whatever that meant.

***

It ended up being a shortened week.  Gavin announced they would be leaving for their destination after dinner Wednesday.  He explained it would be a long drive.  At first, Hannah thought to suggest flying, but then she remembered Gavin had issues with it and closed her mouth just as quickly.

“Hannah, did you have something you wanted to ask?”  Gavin paused in the middle of his sentence.

“I just was going to ask what I should pack.”  She bit the side of her cheek to cover up the little white lie.  How she hated upsetting Gavin.

“Pack light.  Pack for all the varying temperatures of summer.  And we’ll be getting some provisions last minute.”  He looked so pleased with himself.  He had that sparkle in his eyes again, the one she saw a few nights before when they were talking outside on the sailboat.

He had taken them sailing the next evening.  They sailed into the sunset on Lake Norman.  As the sun finally came down and the girls started to get tired, Gavin sent them below deck to rest in the queen berth underneath them.  With the hatch open there was plenty of air circulating.  He had looked so alive then.  If Hannah found him attractive before, this Gavin, Gavin on water, was positively yummy.

“Is it a surprise?”  She asked before heading upstairs to pack.  “Or can you tell me where we’re going to go?”

He hesitated.  His fists clenched.  Gavin simply shook his head.

“A surprise it is then,” she murmured before leaving the study.

The drive was long.  Gavin didn’t lie.  At the same time, it really didn’t matter since neither of them was driving.  When Hannah exited the house with the girls in tow she discovered a car and driver outside waiting for them. Their luggage was loaded and they were on the road in minutes.

The girls were sitting and chatting excitedly about where they were going and what they were going to do. They knew something pretty special was going on because they didn’t have to go to school the next two days.  They were experiencing the magic of the long weekend.  Hannah hadn’t been out of an office for long, so she felt the same electric charge in the air she recognized as the excitement of taking a vacation.  For the first time in forever, she was going away.  The last time, nearly a year ago, was to the beach with the girls and it hadn’t been the restful family time she had envisioned.  No, the weekend was spent struggling to reach Brett to no avail.  It was spent having her bankcard declined every time she tried to use it.  It was spent reinforcing her belief the secret emergency credit card was a fantastic idea.  If she hadn’t had it, she would’ve been beyond screwed.

Without realizing, Hannah had tensed up at the memory.  Gavin sensed it and reached over to grab her leg.  “We’re going to have fun.  I promise.  You are in good hands.” Then he released her leg, leaned back, and closed his eyes.

It took a moment.  Hannah could feel where he had touched her leg long after his hand had moved.  She stared at the spot.  Then she looked over at him appearing completely relaxed and at ease.  It brought a smile to her face.  She was getting out of town.  She didn’t have to worry about money.  She didn’t have to worry if she and the girls would be safe or what they would come home to.  In just a few months her divorce would be final, the yearlong wait would be over, and the child support should be in place and enforced by then.  Thank goodness Gavin was a man she could trust.  He was a man she could love.  She inhaled sharply at the thought and glanced at Gavin to see if he noticed.  Confident he hadn’t, she leaned back.  The headrest hit her all wrong because of her diminutive size.  Slowly, casually almost, she laid her head on his shoulder.  Seconds later she closed her eyes and slept, which is why she missed seeing Gavin’s smile.