The 13th: Destiny Awaits (17 page)

“What are you talking about?”

“You were indulging me, weren’t you, because you needed me? And when I came on to you... That's what your evasion meant.”

Came on to her... Kate flexed her fingers, wishing she had enough courage to curl her hand and punch him in the stomach.

“And here I was thinking that happened because of my confession, that you were just shy and needed time.” He snorted and pushed his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans. “How wrong I was. You should have told me. You shouldn't have played me for a fool.”

Kate could feel her eye twitching, and if this had been before she learned to materialize her scythe, there would have been a group of ghosts crowding around her right now. She was grateful for their absence, but that didn't mean that she would allow Ethan to walk all over her. He was the hypocrite in their relationship, but she refused to tell him what she had heard, since that would have exposed her pain. “I played you for a fool? That's a good one.”

His upper lip curled in a snarl, and his eyes turned cold and flat as they raked her from head to toe, making her feel small and worth less than garbage in a dumpster. “I thought you were better than this.” He turned on his heel and strode away.

“Now it's my fault?” she whispered. Her stiff fingers dug into her leg, and red-hot anger washed over her and clouded her sight. As she watched his back become smaller and smaller, she wanted to yell that he could go to Hell, but according to the handbook, Hell didn't exist.

Kate absently gazed through the library window overlooking the school's inner yard, Umberto Eco's
The Prague Cemetery
open on the desk before her. A while back she had read
The Name of the Rose
and loved it, that's why she thought that she would be able to lose herself in the author's latest book. She was wrong; she read a few pages but hadn't the slightest idea what the story was about. Even the name of the main character slipped from her mind.

She sighed; a long, tired sigh. She had gotten what she wanted; she had the spells she needed, and she had gotten rid of Ethan, who no longer texted her, called her, brought her food or sought her out. When they had met yesterday and today, they had given one another a short, stiff nod in greeting and that was all.

She rested her cheek on the desk. She missed him. She missed his sunny smile, the way he always looped his arm with hers, and -- her stomach growled -- and the food.

“Hi.”

Kate straightened and gave the tall blonde a nod. “Hi, Mandy.”

“I thought I would find you here.” The scrape of a chair against the linoleum and Mandy sat in the chair across from Kate.

“Yeah.” Kate could hear the dull thuds of a foot tapping against the floor that had started as soon as the blonde sat down.

Mandy set her elbows on the table, laced her fingers and puffed her cheeks, while her forehead wrinkled.

A short, tense silence descended over them. Kate broke it by asking, “Is there something bothering you?”

“You and Ethan...”

“Yes?”

“You two...” The taps against the grey linoleum accelerated.

Mandy was going to beat around the bush until nothing remained but a few shredded branches, wasn’t she? Kate inwardly sighed. “We had a fight.”

“A bad one?” Creases still marred Mandy's forehead, but she stopped tapping her foot.

“I guess.” Kate doubted they would be on speaking terms anytime soon, if ever.

“He did something stupid, right? He has to have, since he refuses to tell me what's wrong.” Mandy protruded her lower lip in a pout. “He's so stubborn.”

“It was about Sandra.” Kate felt no reservations about sharing with Mandy at least part of the issues that had put a stop to their socializing. “He uses me as a shield while he’s playing the good guy.”

“He has a reason for it.”

“Sometimes he gives me the impression he's enjoying all that stalking and attention.”

“That's not true.”

“As if he's just pretending.” He was good at that, and acting lessons -- he had to have had those -- probably helped.

“No!” Mandy's voice rose as she shook her head. She lowered her voice. “No, not Ethan. He's not like that.”

“And what is he like?”

“Ethan is... He is...”

“Yes?”

“He's many things and... he's an enigma most of the time.” A sad smile flashed on Mandy's face. “To me at least. Sometimes I just don't get him, but... He doesn't like Sandra's attention. Or any other girl’s attention. Not since --” She bit her lower lip and drew her arms against her body.

Kate leaned over the desk and caught Mandy's hand. “Since?”

“Well...” Mandy's eyes darted left and right as she slouched in the chair.

She should stop caring about him, she should forget him, not be trying to extract from Mandy something that the blonde wasn't willing to tell. But that didn't stop Kate from pushing forward. “I know about his breakdown, Tyler told me. That’s why he lectured you, didn't he? Because he knows that I know.”

That should have prompted Mandy to talk, but she continued to chew her lip and her expression didn’t show any relief or willingness to share. Her hand slipped out of Kate's grip.

Kate's fingers brushed against the pink silk of Mandy's sleeve and the thought of catching the edge of it crossed her mind, but then she let it flutter away. She dropped down onto the hard plastic of her seat. “So, it's not about his breakdown?”

“Well, not exactly...”

“He was about to tell me what happened, I think, but then he got all...nasty.” Kate would have used a crude word, but doubted Mandy would appreciate it. Despite spending quite some time in Mandy's company, Kate had never heard Mandy say anything negative about anybody, let alone swear.

“He can be rude sometimes -- you know how he is -- but he didn't mean it. He couldn't have.”

Kate arched her brows.

“If he did, he wouldn't be dragging himself around the house like a wounded animal. It's making my mother worry and coo over him. She's overprotective of him. It's really annoying to watch.” The silk of the expensive designer shirt swished as Mandy pushed her arms across the wood of the table to wrap her fingers around Kate's. “You have to do something about it, please.”

“Me?”

“You are the reason he’s in this state.”

“Me?”

“Please. He insists that he needs company and then he just lies there on the bed in my room sighing these long, irritating sighs. I love him, I really do, but I don't know how much longer I will be able to take it before I snap,” Mandy whined. “Please, Kate.”

Why would Ethan be acting this way? Her brows descended over her eyes. “Did he send you?”

“What? No. And you are not allowed to tell him.”

Okay, she could believe that Mandy was not Ethan's messenger, but she still suspected that this had to be one of his schemes. But to what end?

“Please, Kate, please.” Mandy's pouted and stared pleadingly at her. “Just make up with him, please.”

Kate leaned back in the chair. “I don't think I can.”

“Please, Kate.” Mandy looked absolutely miserable.

It was hard for Kate to refuse Mandy, but in this case she had no choice. “Even if I wanted to go back to being his shield -- which I don't -- I don't think a simple ‘sorry’ would suffice.” She pushed herself away from the table and stood up.

“But... but...” Mandy fidgeted.

“I'm sorry.” Kate zipped up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, then went around the table. She put a hand on Mandy's shoulder. “I really am, but there’s nothing I can do.”

“You don't want to?” Mandy's fingers embraced Kate's wrist.

“I can't.” Not right then. It was stressful being with Ethan and in the four days before Saturday, she needed time to mentally prepare for the meeting with her mother. ‘Out of sight, out of mind,’ unfortunately couldn't be applied to Ethan, but she would be able to concentrate on preparations better without having to deal with him and Sandra.

Still holding onto Kate, Mandy pressed her lips into a narrow line and furrowed her brows as if she was thinking. “He has been stalked before. Not as frivolously as Sandra does it. This girl -- I think she was his co-star in some commercial or something -- sent him letters, texts, called him nonstop and followed him everywhere, I mean everywhere, and in the evenings he would find her lurking outside his apartment. I would say she was guilty of causing his breakdown, but if I remember correctly, the stalking stopped a few weeks before that.” She released Kate. “I think he is using your help to distance himself from Sandra, so that he isn’t reminded of what happened before. Does that make sense?”

So that's how it was. No wonder Ethan was depressed. “Why doesn't he tell Sandra off on his own?”

“He could never be rude to girls.” Mandy rose up.

“He was pretty rude to me. And not just to me.”

“Not that kind of rude.” Mandy brushed past Kate. “More like being careful not to hurt girls' feelings.”

Ethan hadn't held back in that respect with her either. Did that mean he didn't see her as a girl? It wouldn't be surprising. Kate would have snorted, but she couldn't push the air over the lump wedged in her throat. So unlovable.

“...will you?”

Kate's eyes found Mandy's. She didn't catch Mandy's full question, but she could answer her anyway. “I can't, I'm sorry.” She put on an apologetic expression. “He will have to distance himself from Sandra on his own.” She would have added, ‘don't hate me,’ but she doubted that Mandy had it in her. She moved past Mandy and hurried past the bookshelves and rows of desk out into the hallway, feeling like she was running away.

#

Kate stared at the brown door, silently repeating the words from the slip of paper now stored in the pocket of her black cargo pants. She had been standing before the door for twenty minutes, too afraid to walk through it.

A housekeeper passed by, pushing a trolley with stacked towels, various bottles and boxes. She greeted Kate and then before she disappeared into one of the rooms, she cast her a questioning gaze over her shoulder.

Kate took a few deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly.
It will be fine, everything is going to be great
, she assured herself. Nothing is going to go wrong, nothing. But why did she feel so nervous then?

From the front pocket of her bag she pulled out the narrow strips of thick papers with the spells' symbols written on them
. Ambitus Sanctimonia Animadverto Tutela Peractio,
was the main spell with
Aparctias, Apeliotes, Notos
and
Zephyrus
marking the sky's directions.

Another sequence of deep breaths before she pushed the door open. As so many times before, her mother sat in the armchair set before the window. She didn't move to see who was coming into the room.

It was probably better this way. Kate softly closed the door behind her. She set the first paper in the north corner of the room; holding it in the air she quietly chanted: “
Ambitus Aparctias Sanctimonia Animadverto Tutela Peractio.”

She released the paper, and it glowed light blue and stayed suspended in the air, as it was supposed to. The west corner was next, then south, and then she stepped toward the corner by the armchair. Her mother still ignored her, her eyes, dull and lifeless, passed over Kate as if she was air. The result of her medication, probably.

The last paper. “
Ambitus Zephyrus Sanctimonia Animadverto Tutela Peractio.
” When the last syllable faded from the air the papers should be connected by blue light and vanish, but instead they started to burn in white flames.

That wasn't supposed to happen. Or had she read it wrong? Kate shoved her hand into her worn-out bag and browsed in it for her handbook.

The pieces of scorched paper drifted down on the wooden floor and in flashes of white light dissolved into thin air.

Her mother whimpered.

Kate glanced at her.

Mother blankly stared though the window, small broken sobs coming from her mouth.

Kate wheeled around ready to call for help, but stopped in mid-step, frozen, her breath caught.

There, against the door's surface, hints of white formed the outline of a person.

“Show yourself.” She imagined her scythe in her hand and a second later she could feel the snath in her hand.

The temperature in the room dropped and the outline become a semi-transparent whiteness in the shape of a man.

The 13th Guidebook
said that together with colour, Soul Eaters also lose their features, and with them they forget the reason that tied them to this world. All the Soul Eaters she had encountered on the rare occasions when she accompanied Ethan on his hunts looked faceless, but he wasn't just a face with holes for his eyes. No, his face had eyes, a nose, and a mouth. Not only that, he even had wrinkles in his forehead and at the corners of his eyes and his mouth.

He was not an ordinary Soul Eater, if he even was a Soul Eater.

She ignored the fear that crawled under her skin, refusing to let it get the better of her. She was a Soul Reaper. “Who are you?”

He smiled, though it was more of a snarl than a smile. “Greetings to you, too.”

“Who are you?” Kate repeated.

“As often as your mother has mentioned me, you should recognize me immediately.” He circled her.

Was he her mother's false angel, the voice Kate always thought was a figment of her mother's imagination? ‘Mr. Sell’ her mother named him. The one who had driven her mother to call Kate a monster. “You are the one who made her crazy.” It wasn't a question.

“She became strange on her own, I only gave her a small push.”

Kate’s whole body tensed and anger rose up, hot and burning. She fought against it, trying to prevent it from overcoming her, but lost. She jumped toward him and swung her scythe.

He evaded it by flying left, chuckling. “So violent.”

“You won't get away.” She followed him, brandishing her blade at him. She missed him by a hair’s breadth. A step left, past the cabinet. She took another swing at him. She had to get him. She had to destroy him like he had destroyed her family. “I will erase you from this world.”

He laughed at her as he floated under the ceiling.

She would extinguish him. Kate leaped on the bed, holding the snath at its lowest point, striking at him with the scythe, gritting her teeth every time the blade passed him. If she could just hit him, then cut through him like she did with the other ghosts. Only one blow and then he would be gone forever.