The 13th: Destiny Awaits (21 page)

The Warding around the house should have kept her mother's spirit away, but no, her spirit was always present. Even now, she was there, hovering behind Ethan, who must have seen her and even talked to her. He had said that her mother was worried about her, hadn’t he?

“Kate, it's okay.” Ethan managed to trap her legs with his hands.

“Get off!” The volume of Kate's voice increased as she tightened her hold on Tyler and begged him, “Get him off, please, get him off.” Right now she couldn't stand to have Ethan or her mother anywhere near.

Kate paced up and down the hallway, often stopping where the rail overlooked the stairs to squat down and peer at the small patch of the living room visible through the bars. He was there, sitting on the couch watching television instead of being in school. And not only that, they were alone in the house; just Ethan and her, and the pink blur.

He had said that he had to talk to her and that he would wait until she was ready, but she had never imagined that by ‘waiting’ he meant staying in her home keeping her company while her father was away. And he didn't just keep her company, but also cooked for her and drove her to her sessions with her psychiatrist. She couldn't understand why everybody put so much trust in him and even allowed him to be absent for school for this past three days.

“Are you hungry?” His voice drifted up from the living room.

She didn’t answer.

“Your father called, he's going to come home around one. And Tyler and Mandy are going to drop by later.”

He had made himself quite at home, hadn’t he? And sometimes she could hear him conversing with her mother -- well, it was either that or he was talking to himself while in the presence of a ghost with pink aura. Who knows what they talked about, but at some time he must have inquired about what had happened and -- could mother remember the Eater and did she overhear their deal while she was possessed? If she did, Ethan would be aware of that and he would probably have already demanded answers from her, wouldn't he? Kate wrapped his hands around the rail and pressed her forehead against the polished dark-brown wood. She had to get Ethan out of the house and away from her mother, but she wouldn’t get rid of him unless she gave him that talk he so craved.

She stood and dragged herself down into the living room. She stopped by the couch on which Ethan half-lay with his legs thrown over the couch's armrest while he browsed through a math textbook. As soon as she got his attention, she said, “After we have that talk, will you leave?”

He straightened. “Sit.”

“Will you leave?”

“You father isn’t comfortable with you being alone.”

“I have no intention of doing anything stupid.”

“I know, and he knows that, too, but he can't help but worry.”

“I want you to leave.” Kate wrapped her arms around her middle.

“Why do you have to push me away all the time? I'm just trying to be here for you.”

She didn't buy it. Until now he had always had an ulterior motive for staying by her side, and she doubted that had changed. “What do you want from me?”

“I'm not your enemy and I wish you would stop treating me like one. But you treat everyone like that, don't you, Kate? Even your father.” A short pause. “Even your mother.”

If this was what he wanted to talk about, Kate had no intention of listening. She turned on her heel and she would have left if not for Ethan's hand taking hold of her green shirt.

“She's just trying to help you and you are pushing her away.” His voice softened. “I'm being tough on you, I know, but it's the only way to get through to you.”

“I just lost my mother, you insensitive moron.” Her voice broke and it felt like she would break soon, too.

“I know. I know.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, drawing her back against his chest.

“I hate you.” She hated the way he could mess up her feelings and how he could bring her to the point of tears so quickly.

“You’ve already told me that.” He sighed; she could feel his breath against the side of her head. “I wish you didn't, though, not when you mean so much to --”

“Stop it.” Kate would have broken their embrace, but Ethan's arms held her too firmly.

“I mean it! I'm not lying.” Ethan pressed her even closer to him, his breath hot against her cheek.

Her teeth clenched and she shoved against his arms, but she couldn't slip out of his grip.

“I heard what you said and it's not true. I never saw you only as source of power. Never. I... I like you.”

When had she said that to him? When she was under the influence of pills?

“I really, really like you.”

Lies. It was all lies. “Release me, now.” She dug her nails into his arms.

She felt him flinch, but he refused to loosen his hold on her. “No. I...”

“You what?” Kate glowered at his hand and she could feel anger crawling under her skin. “Stop lying already. I heard you. You said I mean nothing to you.”

“That's not true. I never -- when did you hear me say that?”

Kate for a moment contemplated sinking her teeth into his wrist, the idea strangely compelling.

“Kate.” He gently shook her. “When have you ever heard me say that?”

The memory of his conversation with that Yuki ghost still hurt, but the pain that had been the stab of a knife was now reduced to the prick of a needle. How things changed. Over her shoulder she looked up at him, at the blue eyes that so seriously stared down at her. She was still in love with him, but the feeling was so unimportant now, lessened by the recent events. “You said it to a ghost in your room.”

“Yuki?” The grasp of his arms weakened.

“That's what you called her.” Kate wiggled out of his embrace.

“I never... She's... You remember the stalker I was talking about? It's her.”

“I don't care.” Kate slowly, cautiously moved away from him.

“Listen to me, please.”

“I don't want to.” Kate was already by the door. Now was her chance. She rushed through it and up the stairs, taking two at a time, intent to reach her room and to slip onto the bed and under the blanket, the only place where he left her in peace.

Ethan was right behind her, his feet heavy on the stairs. “She continues to stalk me, even in death.”

“And that's why you allow her to stay in your room, right?” Kate reached the landing, but a shimmering red obstacle in the middle of the hallway stopped her. She could have smashed it with her scythe, but appearance of her scythe would have cancelled the influence of the pendant she wore around her neck. She wheeled around, hoping she would be able to slip past Ethan into the master bedroom, the first door in the hallway, where the light coming from the only window in the hallway rarely caressed the white walls.

“I felt guilty, okay?” Ethan pressed her against the wall, trapping her.

“I don't care.” Kate pushed against his chest.

“I know I'm not, my mind knows it, but... I would hate for her to turn into an Eater because of this obsession with me, so I planned to indulge her until...” he pressed his mouth together like he was contemplating something before he spoke up, “I was actually counting on you to reap her.”

“Yes, of course you were.” Kate didn't believe him. He could have asked her to do that any time since her first reaping.

“No, really. I was just waiting for the right opportunity to ask you for the favour.”

She nodded, pretending to believe him in the hope that he would release her.

“Please, listen to me,” he asked like he could see through her acting. “She was the reason for my breakdown. Well, actually, my newly-awakened powers were the reason for it. Suddenly, I could see ghosts and there she was, watching me, always watching me, refusing to pass over. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without her. And the more I ignored her, the angrier she got. Her aura started to lose its colour, and you know what that means, so I started to play along with her fantasies.” His jaw tensed. “I could never get used to seeing her face first thing in the morning, though. It still creeps me out.”

“Okay then,” Kate said. “Let's go to your place and reap her.”

“Well, that...” He scratched his neck. “That would be a little hard.”

“I see.”

“No, it's nothing like that. I swear,” Ethan said. “After you told Sandra off... You were so brave to stand up against her like that.”

She wasn't brave. She had gotten leverage that she could use against Sandra, something that she hadn't had before Ethan entered the scene and aroused Sandra's interest and greed. To want him for the sake of free clothes, so pathetic.

“It encouraged me. You put a stop to your tormentor, even if it was more for my sake than yours, and it made me see that I should stop waiting for others to take care of my problem and solve it myself. Like you did. And it's not as if I was doing her and me any favours by indulging her, right? So I told her that I had fallen in love with you.”

Fallen in love with her? Kate's eyes, which until now had stared at the dip of Ethan's collarbone, rose up.

“I told her that since she is a ghost, we could never be together, that she should pass into the 13th and stop holding on to me.” His fingers touched her neck and he leaned over her. “I know you said you don't like me and that you hate me, but I just want to be here for you. I want to help you get through this, okay?”

Love her? Could he really? His eyes seemed so clear, so truthful. But it must have been just a lie to get rid of the ghost.

“Kate, did you hear me?”

She nodded.

“Say something, please.”

She swallowed. “But...”

“Yes?”

“You love me? Couldn't you find some other lie to tell her?”

“But it's true.”

“Yeah, right.”

His hands cupped her cheeks. “It's true.”

“How could it be?” How could he have any feeling for her when she had betrayed Nan? When she had killed her own mother? But he didn't know that, did he?

“What?”

She should tell him. And then watch him walk out through door. She licked her dry lips. “I'm such a terrible person.”

“Don't say that. And don't cry, please, don't cry. I can't stand to see you crying.”

“I killed my mother.”

His fingers wiped her cheeks. “Don't be silly. Your mother died because of her weak heart.”

“It's my fault.” With the corner of her eye, Kate noticed a dot of pink hue behind Ethan. “She can tell you.”

“You had nothing to do with her death, except that you were there.” His hands slid over her neck to her shoulders.

“Ask her, ask her what the last thing she saw was.”

A moment of silence. “An Eater?”

Kate closed her eyes for a moment, blocking out Ethan and her mother. A part of her urged her to stay silent, to take whatever Ethan offered and forget all about the Eater and Nan. She opened her eyes. But she would know and the guilt would devour her, growing, growing until nothing else remained. She had experienced that when her mother -- no, the Eater tried to strangle her -- when she felt like she had done something to deserve it. It hadn’t been her fault, but she had to have a psychiatrist's help to get over it, and now when it really was her fault... “Yes, an Eater, but not like the ones we encountered before. This one...he was like a ghost but without the colour. I think he has been troubling my mother for a long time. And he was powerful and strong. I couldn't beat him and I couldn't stop him from feeding on me.”

“It fed on you? When did this happen? Why haven't you told me?”

“I couldn't... I...”

“Did this happen recently? When we weren't on speaking terms?” Ethan knitted his brows and his fingers tightened his hold on her shoulders. “You should have told me anyway. You should have known that you can rely on me. No matter how much we clash, we are a team.”

“When I haven't meant anything to you.”

“I told you I only said that to her to get her to calm down.”

“But I didn't know that then,” Kate cried out.

Silence descended over them, thick and tense, almost suffocating. She could see remorse painting itself on his face.

“I'm sorry,” he said.

“He...” She swallowed, averted her eyes from Ethan's and continued with her story. “The Eater said that he would leave my mum alone, but... when he left her, she died.”

“Do you think it deliberately killed her? Or that its presence kept her alive?”

“I don't know. And I don't think I want to know.” She swallowed again, but the lump of uncertainty and fear was still wedged in her throat. “Aren't you going to ask me what he wanted in exchange?”

“I'm sure you will tell me.” His blue eyes gazed kindly down on her, encouraging her.

“He wanted the Keeper's location.”

“But you don't know it.”

She bit her lip, her body taut as a bowstring.

“You don't know it, right?” Ethan's eyes clouded and something akin to fear widened his pupils and tightened his mouth. “You don't know it, right?” His blunt nails dug into Kate's shoulders.

A copper taste touched her tongue and she had to focus to unlock her jaw. She had to tell him. “I think it's his fault that Nan is missing.” And the reason why the butterflies they had sent had returned.

He swore and his hands curled around Kate's shoulders so tightly she thought he would break her before he released her. He took a step backwards, his face blank and his eyes -- she couldn't read his eyes. She expected him to turn around and leave the house or to start yelling at her, but he only stared at her, the silence stretched and stretched until Kate felt like she was drowning in it. She slumped down to the ground, wishing she didn't have her dark hair tied in a tail so that she could use it like a veil. She didn't deserve to be a Reaper.