The Anal Sex Position Guide (9 page)

Some couples may miss face-to-face kissing and communication in this position. A man with a shorter penis that is perfectly vertical when erect may find it tricky or altogether impossible. Reverse Cowgirl and its variations take strength and endurance on her part, since she is in charge of the thrusting action. Some women may feel too exposed or on display in this position; some men may not like the less active role or may want more control over the penetration.

In Reverse Isis position, he lies back with his legs parted and slightly bent, she sits between his legs, facing his feet, leaning forward on her knees with her legs together. If it works for him, she can lean all the way down until her breasts touch his legs. He can sit up to transition into Doggie Style position.

To get into this position, she begins in Reverse Cowgirl, then gets up on her feet so she is squatting, sits straight up or leans forward, and does nearly all the work of thrusting. The woman must be fit, flexible, and have strong quad muscles to sustain this position. Leaning forward, she can stroke her partner’s balls and sensitive perineum; if he enjoys anal play, she can reach his anus for stimulation and penetration. She can also lean back for more skin-to-skin contact and a different angle of penetration.

In surfing lingo, tailgate means to paddle out into the ocean on your surfboard in order to catch a wave or follow someone else out. In the Tailgate position, she lies flat on her stomach with her legs spread slightly. He sits on top of her with his legs on either side of hers and enters her from behind. If he has trouble getting in, she can tip her hips up slightly toward him for the initial penetration, then lie back down. Once he’s inside her, she slides her legs together. He sets the tone in this position and takes charge of the depth and pace of the penetration. You can also begin in Doggie Style, Doggie Angle, or Spooning position and transition to this one easily.

When her body is in this position, the curve of her rectum is less pronounced, making it easy for her to relax and experience comfortable penetration. He gets a great view of her butt as well as the in-and-out action. He can stroke, massage, squeeze, or spank her butt cheeks, plus he can touch and kiss her back. Tailgate is good for a man with a long penis, since he’ll have the benefit of the maximum length of her rectum in this position. It’s also a great alternative to Doggie Style for a woman who wants a rear-entry position but doesn’t like anal penetration to be too deep or his thrusting to be too vigorous. Like other positions in which he comes from behind, this is an ideal one for indirect G-spot stimulation. This position places him firmly in control, so it works well for men who like to be on top, women who like to surrender, and couples who like to explore dominant/submissive role play.

Without eye contact or face-to-face communication, this position can feel too detached for some men and women. In the absence of visual contact, a woman can feel especially disconnected from her partner (on the flip side, some women may be excited by the anonymity). Since the position does not afford them much movement, some women may feel too passive and dislike it for that reason. Women with large breasts may find this position less comfortable or difficult to maintain for a long period of time. (Experiment with a pillow under your stomach to make it more comfortable.) Men can’t do a lot of deep or vigorous thrusting, which may mean some can’t reach orgasm in this position.

He begins in the Tailgate position sitting up, and once he has penetrated her, he leans forward so he’s on top of her with his legs kicked out straight (A). This allows for more skin-to-skin contact, and many women like to feel the weight of their partner on top of them. It can also increase their sense of being “taken” by their partner. He can kiss her neck and ears and whisper sweet or naughty things to her (B). There are a few downsides: Horizontal Tailgate may not be feasible if he is a bigger guy and she can’t support his weight on her. Plus, regardless of his size, some women may feel too confined or uncomfortably pinned down. In addition, when he’s lying down over her, he has even less thrusting ability.

Think of Over the Edge (not shown) as Horizontal Tailgate at the edge of the bed. She lies on her stomach with her head, shoulders, and upper torso hanging over the edge of the bed and her hands planted on the floor. He lies on top of her with his hands also flat on the floor. Both partners may get a head rush (of blood and oxygen) in this position, which, for some, intensifies sexual sensations. Her breasts don’t get squashed in this position, and it might feel less claustrophobic. This works best if your bed is relatively low to the ground.

Yab-Yum is a classic Tantric sex position where one partner sits in the other partner’s lap and they face each other. Although it is usually taught and practiced as a position for vaginal penetration, it works very well for anal penetration, too. The man sits with his legs loosely crossed and the woman sits in his lap and wraps her legs around his waist and torso. He can use firm pillows under his thighs if he needs more support for his legs. If it’s not comfortable for him to keep his legs crossed, then he can put them out in front of him. If he needs back support, he can lean against the wall or headboard. As she gets into his lap, she can raise up slightly on her knees, and she should tip her pelvis forward in order to make her anus more accessible. He can hold the base of his penis to assist her, and she can slowly come down on it. This is meant to be a relaxing, meditative position, so once you’re in it, you shouldn’t feel any tension or strain. If you do, adjust yourselves so that you can comfortably sink into the position.

In Yab-Yum, you can kiss, talk, or simply gaze into each other’s eyes. This is a deeply intimate position that fosters eye contact, communication, and lots of closeness. Each partner can easily reach the other’s head to stroke her face, kiss his neck, nibble on his ear, or run your fingers through her hair. Because she’s on top, she can control the depth and angle of penetration. It also works well for a man with a shorter penis or a woman who enjoys sitting all the way down on a man’s penis, because he can fully penetrate her. Yab-Yum is best for slow, sensual lovemaking and lends itself well to a subtle rocking motion rather than hard-and-fast thrusting. It’s a position that embodies a give-and-take approach to sex, where neither partner is doing the bulk of the work. As each partner moves his or her hips, they can establish a rhythmic, fluid motion until they are completely in sync.

In Tantric sex, this position can be used to prolong intercourse or delay ejaculation because it facilitates a gentle rocking motion. Some men may find it difficult to maintain an erection without the benefit of constant friction from thrusting. Men may also find it hard to reach orgasm when sitting up. This can be a good position for women who can reach orgasm from indirect G-spot stimulation through anal penetration, but it’s not ideal for clitoral stimulation. It’s also not a suitable position if he has a long penis and she wants or needs shallower penetration because she may not be able to sit down all the way, putting too much strain on her knees and thighs.