The Anal Sex Position Guide (11 page)

She lies on her side with her knees straight, legs together and angled up toward her body. On his knees, he enters her sideways. Think of Side Saddle as a combination of Doggie Style and Spooning. Because of her unique position, he has most of the control over the penetration.

This can be a comfortable position for both partners and good for women with limited mobility or who are pregnant. Unlike traditional Doggie Style, partners can make eye contact in Side Saddle position so it may feel less anonymous and more connected. He has good range of motion and can achieve deep penetration; however, really fast thrusts may be harder for her to take than in Doggie Style since she is on her side.

With her legs together, reaching her clitoris for stimulation can be tricky for either partner. Women have limited movement in this position, so it may feel too passive for some. Depending on the curve of his penis, Side Saddle may not be ideal for indirect G-spot stimulation.

Beginning in Side Saddle, she moves her top leg up to rest on his shoulder, essentially creating a sideways split with her body. Unlike Side Saddle, The Y requires strength and flexibility on her part, and some women may find it difficult or uncomfortable. This variation gives both partners better access to her vulva and gives him a great view of the penetration.

In the Standing position, both partners stand facing the same direction and he enters her from behind. She can stand up straight, bend over slightly, or lean against a wall or piece of furniture.

Standing is great for quickies as well as sex in the shower, a bathroom stall, or somewhere narrow. If you’d like to explore places other than your bed or bedroom for sex, you can get into Standing position to try out the kitchen counter, the bathroom sink, or against a dresser or cabinet. Want to have sex without getting undressed? In this position, he can unzip his fly, she can hike up her dress, and voila: Get busy! Standing is a rear-entry position that provides more skin-to-skin contact than Doggie Style, and partners can comfortably kiss each other.

Both partners need to have good mobility, flexibility, and strength to have sex standing up. No matter what the athletic prowess of either partner may be, this is not a position for long-term love-making. Those with lower-back problems may find that it puts too much strain on them. It might not work well for partners who are of very different heights.

Stairway to Heaven is the Standing position performed on stairs. Stairs provide banisters (and possibly a nearby wall) to brace and balance yourselves, which can give both partners more stability and leverage. You also have the steps to adjust for just the right height.

THERE ARE LOTS
of sex toys and accessories in the world: vibrators, dildos, penis sleeves, cockrings, and more. There are also wonderful toys made especially for anal play and others that work well for anal penetration. When choosing a sex toy, there are a number of factors to consider, including price, material, style, function, and design. These days, you can spend as little as $15 and as much as $500 (or more) on a sex toy, so there’s a toy for everyone’s budget. Just because something is more expensive doesn’t mean it’s better, and vice versa.

For some people, sex toys are all about aesthetics: how they look and feel is crucial. For example, some dildos and vibrators focus on realism: they are designed to look and feel like penises, complete with heads, balls, veins, and various skin colors. Others may have a phallic shape and a head but come in such colors as purple or green. Others don’t attempt to resemble anything lifelike: They are textured, curved, ridged creations designed just for pleasure. Some toys look like ears of corn, dolphins, sea creatures, animals—even signs of the zodiac! There is such a wide variety of toys that you can surely find a style that suits you.

One of the important decisions you should make is what you want your toy to be made of. Here are some of the most common sex toy materials:

Latex/Rubber/PVC/Vinyl/Jelly rubber:
Many sex toys—especially inexpensive “adult novelties” found at most adult bookstores—are made of some kind of rubber, vinyl, or PVC (polyvinyl chloride plus softening agents knows as phthalates). These toys are cheap to produce and thus often very affordable. Dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, and other toys made of these materials come in a wide variety of styles, from super-realistic flesh-toned dildos to colorful and glittery vibrators. In recent years, there has been some serious debate about the safety of these toys because they contain chemicals known as phthalates (see sidebar on
page 104
). Their biggest pro is their price point, so if you want to try something out without spending a lot of cash, this is a good bet. But these toys are not long-term investments; they definitely have a shelf-life and should be replaced regularly. You can clean these toys with hot water and antibacterial soap or a sex toy cleaner, but keep in mind that they are quite porous, so they can never be completely disinfected. For this reason, you should never share these toys, or always cover them with condoms if you do.

Thermal plastic:
Popular brand names like CyberSkin, SoftSkin, and UltraSkin are made with forms of thermal plastic, a very realistic looking and feeling plastic material. The big draw of these toys is that they come very close to the feeling of real skin. The drawback is they are hard to clean and maintain. They are prone to small nicks, since the material can be quite fragile. Use only water-based lubes with these toys because silicone lubes can melt or degrade the material. Plus, they must be washed and lightly dusted with cornstarch in order to maintain their pliable texture. If you skip the cornstarch step, the toy becomes incredibly sticky, picking up dirt and lint instantly!

Elastomer:
Elastomers are flexible plastics. Some companies have turned to elastomers to make toys that look and feel like rubber but are latex-free, more resilient, and free of phthalates. Toys made of elastomers are firm yet soft, durable, and hypoallergenic. They are slightly porous, so they shouldn’t be shared unless you protect them with condoms. Clean them with soap and water.

Silicone:
Silicone is the top-of-the-line material for soft and flexible sex toys, which also means it’s the most expensive. But it’s worth it. It is very durable and resilient so it will last through years of use. It conducts body heat and vibration better than other soft materials, and it’s much easier to clean. Because it is not porous like other soft materials, you have several cleaning options: hot water and antibacterial soap; a sex toy cleaner; the top rack of the dishwasher without detergent; a diluted bleach solution (10 parts water, one part bleach); or boiling water for about three minutes. These toys can be disinfected, so that they can be shared. The only drawback is that you cannot use silicone lubricants with them; most silicone lube bonds to a silicone toy and ruins it, so stick to water-based lubes.

Hard plastic:
This material’s name says it all: It’s hard plastic with no added material to soften it. Hard plastic is nonporous, easy to clean (hot water and antibacterial soap or a sex toy cleaner), and usually less expensive than other materials. For people who want a firm, inflexible toy without the price tag of glass or metal, hard plastic is a good alternative.