The Anal Sex Position Guide (15 page)

If one side of the bed is close to a wall, have him stand in front of the wall as you scoot to the edge of the bed. Then, spread your legs and put your feet on the wall. This will give you lots of leverage so that you can meet his thrusts or take over the thrusting yourself. This is a good option for women who want to take a more active role. Because your legs are spread, it also gives both of you easier access to your vulva for clitoral stimulation, vulva massage, or double penetration with a toy.

To get into Wheelbarrow position, partners should begin in Standing Doggie position, with the woman on the bed on all fours and the man entering her from behind. He then picks her up and she kicks her legs straight out behind her so that only her lower half remains on the bed, as she uses her hands to brace and balance herself.

Wheelbarrow combines the qualities of a rear-entry position—a great view for him, indirect G-spot stimulation for her, and deep thrusting for both of them—with those of a standing position—novelty, adventure, and surprise. It’s also a good choice for couples where she is much smaller than he is. As in other standing positions, in Wheelbarrow, men can channel and showcase their strength and dominance and women can revel in those attributes.

Both partners need a great deal of strength, flexibility, and stamina to get into and maintain this position. You will expend lots of energy on the position itself, so chances are there will not be much left—or many free hands—to do anything else (including stimulate her clitoris). Because they must support the weight of their partner, men have less thrusting power in this position than they do in traditional Doggie Style.

If Wheelbarrow is too strenuous for you, try Power Tailgate position. It may help to review the Tailgate positions from
chapter 7
. On her stomach on the bed, she spreads her legs, bends her knees, and angles her hips toward him; this can be easier to achieve and sustain by putting a pillow or a Liberator Shape (try the Wedge or the Ramp) underneath her. On his knees, he moves between her legs and kneels over her as he enters her.

In Standing Doggie (not shown) she stands, then bends at the waist. Unlike Stallion, she doesn’t lean against anything. He stands behind her and enters her. He can squeeze her ass cheeks and spank them and she can show off her skills from Yoga class by touching her toes while he penetrates her. This isn’t a workable position if partners are of very different heights.

For the Extra Yummy version of Yab-Yum, the couple begins in Yab-Yum position with her sitting in his lap. Then, she bends her knees and raises her legs up so that they rest on his shoulders. He puts his arms under her legs and around her torso.

Like Yab-Yum, Extra Yummy is a close, intimate position that allows partners to slow down the pace of lovemaking, gaze into each other’s eyes, kiss, embrace, and rock gently. This version of Yab-Yum offers easier access to her anus, and the angle can be ideal for indirect G-spot stimulation. Partners can touch each other’s faces, stroke each other’s hair, and share sexy sweet nothings.

Yab-Yum Extra Yummy requires more flexibility on her part than Yab-Yum and may not be feasible for some women. It also won’t work if the woman is significantly larger than her partner. Because men can’t do a lot of hard or fast thrusting, some may find it harder to maintain an erection; others can stay erect but won’t be able to have an orgasm in this position. It’s not easy for him to reach her clitoris for stimulation or for her to do it herself.

He lies on his back with his knees to his chest. She climbs on top facing him and puts her legs on either side of his. She takes control of the penetration depth and rhythm, and he can lie back and just let her. She also has access to his balls, perineum, and anus, so if she feels that her balance is solid, she can reach down and stimulate him.

SINCE I PUBLISHED
my first book on anal pleasure ten years ago, there has been a lot more dialogue about straight men receiving—and enjoying—anal pleasure. It’s what I like to refer to as the Bend Over Boyfriend movement, named for the amazing how-to video of the same name. Men have enjoyed anal pleasure as long as men have enjoyed sex, but more men than ever are willing not only to embrace this kind of stimulation, but to be more honest and vocal about it. It’s a positive, important trend since it opens up a whole new area of erotic exploration for many couples.

Ladies, if you want to introduce the idea to your male partner, how you bring it up depends a lot on your personal style and how you communicate about sex as a couple. If you tend to be direct, by all means ask him about it; make sure you talk about how much it would turn you on. If you’re feeling unsure and want to test the waters, you could raise the issue indirectly, with a conversation starter such as, “I read about a women penetrating a guy in the ass in a magazine. What do you think of that?” Maybe find a hot, erotic story that involves some girl-on-guy anal action and read it to him as a bedtime tale.

You may want to drop some hints during your next sex session. Try gently stimulating his anus, just on the outside, with your finger, and see what kind of reaction it elicits. Pay attention to his body language and the nonverbal cues he gives you. If he seems comfortable and turned on by it, the next time you’re giving him oral sex, venture farther down to lick his perineum and anus. Make sure to talk about it later to see how it felt for him and get his feedback about what else he might like.

For many men, the idea of anal pleasure raises issues that they have to deal with before they can fully embrace it. A common stereotype is that if men like to receive anal penetration, then they must secretly be attracted to men; in other words, a desire for anal sex means you’re bisexual or gay. This myth is rooted in homophobia and ignorance about male sexuality. A man’s enjoyment of anal play does not mean he’s gay. It just means he likes having his ass stimulated! Some men believe that if they take it up the butt, it somehow makes them less of a man. This is a tired gender stereotype that limits men to the role of “penetrator” and women to the role of “penetrated.” Exploring anal pleasure does not reflect on or influence one’s masculinity at all. Similarly, guys think that in order to receive anal pleasure, they must be submissive or passive. Totally untrue! Sure, for some, anal sex is a way to explore their submissive side through role playing. But other men want to be in control while having their ass pleasured. And for others, it’s not about a power exchange or roles at all, it’s just about sharing an intimate erotic activity.