The Bachelor's Sweetheart (8 page)

“I'll consider it if you'll have a cup of coffee with me. I need to unwind.”

“And coffee is going to help you unwind?”

“That and your company.”

One corner of his mouth turned up in what she teased him was his killer smile, the smile she prided herself on being immune to. She straightened when she realized she'd leaned into his shoulder. Immune until right now.

“It's sad about Owen,” she said, avoiding a direct answer to Josh's invitation.

“His mother did that?” Josh touched his cheek and repositioned his grip on the duffel bag, yanking it up on his shoulder.

“You don't know? Hope or the guys at the firehouse didn't tell you?”

“No, I haven't talked with them. I've been working overtime.”

“The accident last week on Route 9—that was Owen's family.”

A muscle twitched in Josh's jaw. “I saw the emergency squad carry him out. I didn't know it was him.”

Tessa pressed her arm to her side to resist touching him again. Before tonight, she wouldn't have given it a thought.

“How is his mom? And Owen's brother? I heard the squad say there was another child in the car.”

“Owen's little brother is fine, back at school like Owen. They were both in their booster seats. But Suzi told me their mother is still in critical condition. She's been in a coma since they airlifted her to Albany Medical Center, and her organs are shutting down. They don't expect her to live.”

Josh blinked twice. “Another victim of alcohol. I'll keep her and the boys in my prayers.”

“Her name is Gwen. Apparently, there's no family. The boys' father grew up in the foster system, and their mother's parents disowned her when she married their father.”

“Who's in Dannemora? Owen told me.” His expression hardened. “I don't understand how a parent can disown a child or a grandchild.”

Tessa bit her tongue to avoid voicing her first thought:
The same way a child can disown or try to disown a parent
.

“I'm going to call Ted Hazard tonight and get the details about the Pinewood Derby.” Josh arced the duffel bag into the bed of his truck and dug in his pocket for his keys.

Tessa pulled the passenger-side door as soon as she heard the lock click and settled in the cushy captain chair. The seat began warming as soon as Josh turned the ignition. He punched the truck into Reverse and circled back in a sharp curve.

Tessa squeezed the armrests. “I'd decided to take you up on that cup of coffee, but I might be safer walking in the dark.”

“What?” He braked hard.

“Coffee. You wanted me to have a cup with you to wind down.”

He blew out a breath and put the truck in Drive. “It fries me. Another family torn apart by a drunk. What's wrong with those people?”

Tessa cringed at the vehemence in the words
those people
. She was one of them.

She reached inside herself to forgive Josh his judgmental attitude. As far as she knew, he'd never even been a social drinker. He'd been strong enough to go against the crowd, stand up to anyone who called him out about having a Coke instead of a beer. While Josh would hotly deny the fact, in a roundabout way, his father was responsible for that strength—a strength that carried over to other parts of his life. His protective feelings toward his mother and Connor. His long recovery from the wounds he suffered in Afghanistan. His faith, even though he kept that more private.

“Sometimes it takes something big like an accident or the accumulation of a whole lot of small somethings, as with your dad, to stop drinking.”

He slapped the steering wheel. “Dad. A good example of
What's wrong with those people
?
He knew he drank too much, saw what it was doing to us and did it anyway. Mom, Pastor Joel, Gram and Harry tried to help him stop.”

“Sobriety is something you have to want yourself, do for yourself. No one else can do it for you.”

“What makes you such an expert?”

“I... I'm a...”
Tell him
, her inner self said, repeating what her sponsor had told her the last time they'd talked.
You're only as sick as your secrets
. But she didn't want to put more on Josh's plate with everything else he had. She
would
tell him. Just not now.

“No.” He lifted his right hand from the steering wheel and flexed his wrist. “You already said it was something at college. I'm sure you don't want to talk about it any more than I want to talk about Dad or the drunk driver who hit Owen's mother's car. I've ranted enough for the night.”

Tessa tugged at a loose thread on her hoodie sleeve. She didn't want to continue the conversation but knew she should. What kind of friend was she, to keep secrets? She glanced sideways at Josh's chiseled profile, and her heart thumped. A chicken friend who was afraid to be straight with him for fear of losing his friendship.

Josh pulled into a parking space on Main Street in front of the coffee shop.

She looked out the window as she pulled the door handle. “It's closed. I wonder why. They're usually open until nine.”

“Probably the water main problem I heard about earlier today.” He restarted the truck.

“We could have coffee at your place, watch a movie.”

Josh circled around toward her grandmother's house and his apartment. “Never mind. I won't hold you to that coffee. Venting helped.” He turned into her grandmother's driveway. “Thanks for listening.”

“That's what friends are for.”

She caught a glimpse of vulnerability in his eyes before he blinked and broke the warmth of his gaze. The chill of the night air made her shiver when she opened the truck door and slid out of the warm seat onto the driveway. The house sat dark behind the small porch light she'd insisted her grandmother leave on. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I got the building permit today.”

“Good, I'll get started after work tomorrow.”

“Let me know if you need any help.”

“I shouldn't. I've hired Myles. He's looking for extra work to buy a newer car. No cost to you. I'm paying him out of the money I'm saving on rent.”

“Oh. I'll see you Wednesday at practice then. Five-fifteen?”

“I'll be there or text you if something comes up at work again.”

Tessa dragged herself up the porch steps. Josh didn't want to hang out tonight. He didn't need her to work on the renovations. She fumbled in her pocket for her house key, digging it out from where it had fallen through a hole in the pocket and dropped between the sweatshirt and its Sherpa lining.

She had exactly what she wanted—Josh to be less a part of her life and her less a part of his. So where was the satisfaction of taking control and moving forward?

Chapter Seven

T
essa tossed a fourth shirt on her bed. Claire and Nick would be here in ten minutes to pick her up for the concert, and she still hadn't decided what to wear. Nick's cousin was going to meet them at the Sonrise Camp Auditorium, since he was driving from the opposite direction. She stared at the clothing. Her mind blanked. What was her date's name? Tessa pushed a damp curl from her forehead and addressed herself in the mirror, trying to get a grip.

“Sure, you haven't been on a date in a while, but you have been on dates before. No big deal. You were engaged once.”

But that was before you were sober, and remember how it ended?

Her hands turned clammy. She shook them. “What does it matter if you and the guy don't hit it off, if Ben—” that was her date's name, Ben “—doesn't ask you out again? Nothing.”

But Claire is so certain you're right for each other. You'd hate to disappoint her.

“Just get dressed. Claire is more likely to be mad at you if she and Nick show up and you're not even close to ready.”

Tessa went back to her drawer and pulled out a soft, silky blouse in a jewel-toned cobalt. Josh had complimented her the two different occasions she'd worn it. Josh was a guy. Ben was a guy. She pulled the blouse on and smoothed it over her jeans. She and Ben would get along fine if he was anything like Josh. Well, anything like Josh was up until the past couple of weeks.

Tessa brushed her hair and started to pull it back before letting it drop around her shoulders. Josh seemed to like her hair down, or at least he commented on it when she wore it down. Having a guy pal could be handy for getting a male perspective. She placed the brush on the dresser. If she still had a guy pal. She hadn't seen or talked to Josh since Monday night's soccer practice, except for a couple of texts about the theater work. Rain had canceled Wednesday's practice. She'd walked over to the theater when the rain had stopped a couple of hours ago to make sure he and Myles had everything they needed for tonight's showing, half hoping Josh would be there working. He hadn't been.

Tessa smiled. Josh had posted whimsical “Pardon Our Appearance While We Change” signs with caterpillars crawling over the beginning words and butterflies sitting on and flying around the later words. While she was sure he'd lettered the signs and drawn the pictures, he had to have had help with the idea. Probably Hope. She picked up her blusher and applied it to her cheeks. Or maybe a new girlfriend had helped him and that was why she hadn't seen or heard from him this week. Tessa hugged her middle to get rid of the unsettled feeling she chalked up to predate jitters, not the thought that Josh had a new girlfriend.

Calming herself with the
Serenity Prayer
, she finished her makeup, stepped back and checked the overall picture.
Not bad
, she told herself, boosting her determination to have a good time tonight.

“Tessa.” A soft knock accompanied her name. “Your friends are here.”

She opened the door. “I'm ready, Grandma.”

“You look nice. Your hair is such a pretty combination of your mother's color and your father's curls. You should wear it down more.”

“Thanks. Josh said that at Connor's wedding.” Tessa spoke her earlier thought and tried to ignore the uneasiness that returned with the soft smile her words brought to her grandmother's face. It had been a friendly observation, like her reassuring him he looked handsome. As if he needed reassurance. Josh had enough ego for three people.

“Do you have a jacket?” her grandmother asked as they walked down the stairs. “The rain brought in a cold front.”

Tessa glanced at Claire and Nick standing by the door. Neither of them had worn coats. “We'll be in the car, and the auditorium will be warm. I'm okay without.”

“Hi, Tessa,” Claire said. “This is Nick Brunner.” The glow on her friend's face when she made the simple introduction warmed Tessa and left her empty at the same time.

Nick was exactly as Claire had described him, tall and muscular with Nordic blond hair and even features. He looked a lot like Tessa's former fiancé. And as they exchanged greetings, Tessa couldn't help hoping Nick's cousin had a different appearance—darker hair, a less bulky build and more chiseled features. She stilled, realizing she'd just described Josh.

“Have fun,” her grandmother said as they left.

“We will,” Tessa said, renewing her determination to enjoy herself and her date and adding an addendum not to think about Josh.

On the drive to the auditorium, the three of them talked about Resurrection Light, a local Christian rock group that had made it nationally but always played home a couple times a year, usually as a charity benefit.

“You're going to love them,” Claire said, “even more in person than their recordings I've played for you.”

“I'm sure I will,” Nick said in a voice that sounded more as if he'd like anything Claire said, liked or did than a comment on the group.

Nick's cell phone dinged, and he handed the phone to Claire. “Can you check my text? Probably Ben at the auditorium waiting for us impatiently.”

Tessa glanced furtively at the dashboard clock. She hadn't delayed them. They were running right on time.

“Oh, no.” Claire glanced over the seat back and Tessa's stomach sank.

“What?” Nick asked.

“Ben's not coming.”

The sinkhole in her gut became a crater.

“Did he say why?” Nick asked.

“No, just ‘sorry, can't make it.'”

Nick pulled into the auditorium lot and parked. “You guys go in. I'm going to call Ben.” He handed them their tickets.

“Want me to pay you back?” Tessa asked.

“No, no skin off my back. Ben bought your ticket and his wasted one.”

Claire touched his arm. “Not totally wasted. The proceeds are going to Jared Donnelly's motocross school for underprivileged kids and the Sonrise summer camp program.”

“Still, the concert sold out early. Someone else could have used the ticket.” Nick punched a number into his phone.

“I'm so sorry, Tessa,” Claire said as they walked to the building. “Ben's longtime girlfriend broke up with him a few weeks ago, and Nick thought it would be good for him to get out with other people. You were a good friend to agree.”

“Hey, a free concert ticket, what's there not to agree about?”

“The blind date part. I seem to remember Josh and me having to do some convincing there.”

Tessa remembered, too. Had Josh supported Claire because he'd thought she needed to get out with other people, hang with him less? She bit her lip. His support of Claire didn't mean he was ditching her. He was helping her goal of expanding her circle of close friends, even though he didn't know it.

They found their seats, and Nick joined them a couple of minutes later. “I should have known,” he said. “His girlfriend called. She apologized. She wants to get back together. At least he didn't show up with her.” Nick dropped into his seat. “Sorry, Tessa.”

“It's okay, really.”

Tessa leaned back in her seat, her earlier tension gone. She settled in to enjoy the concert, without her date and without thinking about Josh. As the warm-up singers finished their set, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Anyone sitting here?”

* * *

The surprise on Tessa's face was exactly what Josh had expected. He would have taken a picture to show her later if the flash on his phone wouldn't have disturbed the other concertgoers.

“Josh! What are you doing here?”

“I heard you were short a date.” He bit the side of his mouth while she glanced from Claire to Nick and back to Claire.

“Don't look at me,” Claire said. “Did you see me call or text anyone?”

Tessa shook her head, her chestnut curls swaying. He really liked when she wore her hair down.

“I ran into Josh on the way in,” Nick said.

“You know each other?” Tessa asked.

“From the gym,” Josh said. “Nick told me about your problem.”

Tessa sat straight in her seat. “What problem?”

“This empty seat.” He slid in beside her.

“But how did you get in?”

Josh could almost see her mind working.

“I know how much you like Resurrection Light. You didn't.” Her face lit with amused suspicion.

“Didn't what?” He was enjoying busting on Tessa almost as much as he expected to enjoy hearing the band play.

“Show up at the auditorium door and wait to see if anyone had an extra ticket.”

“You think I don't have anything better to do on a Friday night?”

“Well, I...”

“The truth is, I didn't have anything better to do tonight, nor did I show up without a ticket. Autumn was called for a home birth late this afternoon and there were complications. So Jon had to go meet her and the mother at the birthing center in Ticonderoga. He dropped off their tickets with Connor on his way. Connor called me and here I am.”

Her exaggerated smile of exasperation relieved him of the niggling doubt that she might not want him crashing her evening. This was Tessa. Why would he even think that?

“Wait,” Tessa said so loudly, the three rows in front and back of them had no trouble hearing her. “If you're here, who's handling the concession stand at the Majestic?”

“Not to worry. Myles's friend Kaitlyn was available.”

“But, but I don't know her. She's handling the evening's money.”

“I talked with Jack. He vouched for her, and you said she's good with math.”

Tessa released a big sigh. “What am I going to do with you?”

Be my best friend
, Josh thought, hating the neediness he felt.

Drew Stacey, the director of the Sonrise Camp and Conference Center stepped on stage to introduce Resurrection Light.

“They're going to start. You'd better get back to your seat, Josh,” Claire said.

Tessa's eyes narrowed as she glanced over at Claire. He studied the soft line of Tessa's jaw and graceful curve of her neck. So she didn't want him to run off to his seat with Connor and Natalie, even though he'd pushed her into agreeing to the blind date, and then she'd been stood up.

“Natalie told me Connor got you guys almost front row seats. Tessa, it's okay with us if you want to go with Josh and take the other seat with Connor and Natalie.”

“No can do, unless Tessa wants to sit on my knee.”

“I do not.”

Josh laughed at her indignation, but he'd expected no less. “Connor gave the other ticket away. To our father.”

“Yeah,” Nick said. “I love my dad, but given the choice between a concert with him or a concert with friends, gotta say I'd go with the friends.”

More so, if Nick had Jerry Donnelly as a father. Josh watched Claire study her hands in her lap. She'd gone to school with him and knew his father. Nick was from Crown Point. He didn't. Or at least not yet, until Dad did something stupid that showed up in the
Times of Ti
. Josh tensed when Claire leaned toward Nick as if she were about to say something. Something about his father?

“I know what you mean, Nick,” Tessa said.

Claire leaned back and Josh relaxed, grateful for Tessa's redirection of the conversation away from his father.

“When I was in college, my parents paid me a surprise visit one weekend when they were in the States on a fund-raising tour. They have a mission church in Lesotho, Africa,” she said for Nick's benefit. They offered to take me and some friends I was meeting out to dinner. We'd made plans to go to a local—”

Tessa's lips pressed together as if to say a word beginning with a b or a p and he mentally filled in the word
bar
. Had she hesitated to admit she'd been to a bar because of him and his possible reaction? She should know him better than that. He didn't drink, but he didn't condemn people who did responsibly.

Tessa's lips opened “College hangout to hear a group we all liked. I went to dinner with Mom and Dad but didn't blame my friends for sticking with our original plans.”

Meaning he should sacrifice a good time for his father. He'd do that as soon as he saw dear old Dad do it first. And it didn't have to be for him. Josh pushed back more firmly in his seat and placed his arm next to Tessa's on the armrest. His plan to avoid contact with his father was proving harder than he'd thought it would be. He wished whatever weirdness was going on between him and Tessa would go away. Right now he needed his buddy who accepted him as he was, even when she disagreed with him.

Resurrection Light started their show and a minute later Josh and the rest of the audience were caught up in the group's music and message.

“That was their best concert yet,” Tessa said, jumping up for a standing ovation when the group completed their last set.

Josh rose more slowly, noticing the loss of warmth along his arm and shoulder where Tessa had been pressed against him during the concert, as if a part of him had been pulled away. “Anyone want to go get something to eat?” he asked when the applause died down.

He wasn't ready to go home to his empty apartment, nor did he want to go back to the parsonage with Connor and Natalie to try out the pie she'd baked, as had been his plan before he knew his father was part of the deal.

“Sounds good to me,” Nick said.

“The Three Penny should be open,” Claire said, mentioning a local family restaurant. “Meet you guys over there.”

Josh sensed Tessa tense beside him. “Afraid to be alone with me?” he teased to relieve the uneasiness, hers and his. “Promise I'll be on my best behavior.”

“This is why I don't take you out in public,” she said, back to her usual self.

Had he imagined her unease? “Does that mean you'd rather go back to my place?”