The Best of Down Goes Brown (5 page)

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Authors: Sean McIndoe

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4.
At any point since being injured, have you experienced any of the following symptoms of double vision?
There appears to be 8,000 people at tonight's Islanders game, instead of the usual 4,000. (+10 points)
In the family seating area, Philadelphia Flyers fans are furiously waving four middle fingers at my great-grandmother. (+15 points)
During games in Columbus, there are twelve Blue Jacket players on the ice looking at their watches and mumbling about whether the season is over yet. (+20 points)
Could swear that one of the Canucks keeps passing the puck back and forth with a guy who looks exactly like him. (–50 points)

 

5.
How did the fans react when you were hit?
Stunned into silence. (+5 points)
Gasped in horror. (+10 points)
Fight broke out in the upper level between fans trying to catch my mouthguard. (+20 points)
Started throwing waffles at me, which made no sense. (0 points)
Started throwing waffles at me, which made perfect sense. (+100 points)

 

6.
Has there been any media coverage of your injury?
A sports-talk radio caller briefly asked about it. (0 points)
A TV report mentioned that I had suffered an upper body injury. (+5 points)
A newspaper article speculated that I may have suffered a head injury. (+10 points)
I was featured on an episode of HBO's
24/7
last night, which was subtitled “
The Ballad of Concussy McWobble'n'Fall
.” (+100 points)

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