The Biggest Part of Me (4 page)

             
“Enjoying yourself?” he asked sharply.  A small delicious knot of pleasure had formed in his stomach at the sight of her on his couch.  He didn’t like it at all.

             
Jane jumped to sit upright.  “Sorry.  This couch is very comfortable.”

             
“That’s why I bought it.  Now, let’s see if I can find your things and then we can both get back to work.”

             
Why was he mad?  What had she done?  Jane didn’t know this Jason Collins and she wasn’t sure that she liked him.

Jason sat next to her on the couch and placed a big box on the glass coffee table.  Reaching into the old box, he reached in and pulled out the long, embroidered white gloves of Jane’s.  She oohed at them, delighted.  Then giggled as Jason rolled his eyes.  He shifted the box to reach further into it.  As he reached the bottom, a picture fell to the floor.

              “Aha!  Here it is.  Jason pulled out a small class ring with a bright blue starburst in the center.  He handed it to her as she smiled at the ring. 

             
“Wow, does this bring back memories.”  She slipped the ring on her right hand and then looked at it.

             
“I remember when we exchanged rings you really didn’t want me to have it.”

             
“Well, you wore in around your neck and I was afraid that it would get damaged when you were playing football or basketball.”

             
“It looks like it survived okay.”  She smiled as she looked at the ring.  “So, where’s mine?”

             
“Oh my gosh.  I don’t know.”  She hesitated and then said, “I’ll ask my mom to look in my old room.  I’ll find it for you, all right?”

             
“That would be fine.”  Then seeing the fallen picture, Jason bent to pick it up.  “Jeez, what a pair,” he said showing it to Jane.  Their prom picture.  She couldn’t help smiling at the innocent young couple grinning at the camera.  He wore a light blue tux with black trim.  His soft brown eyes were almost hidden behind the longish brown hair.  She wore a cream colored gown with pale blue trim.  Her hair fell softly behind her shoulders.  The corsage that Jason had given her was so large that it nearly dominated the picture.  She remembered.

             
“Were we ever that young?”  Jane’s heart sighed as she remembered that magical night so long ago.

             
“Not me.  In fact, I think this is a fake.  I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that suit.  And I’ve never had hair so long it was in my eyes.”  Jane looked at him.  He looked at her blankly.

             
“Yes you most certainly did and I have a copy of this picture to prove it.”  As they grinned at each other, their eyes held.  Neither had realized how closely they had moved towards each other in order to see the picture.  Jane’s heart began to beat a familiar pattern that she hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

             
Jason lifted a finger to push away a strand of Jane’s wayward hair.  “I never could figure out how I ended up with the most beautiful date at the prom.”

             
“Because she wanted to be with the most handsome guy at the prom,” Jane whispered.

             
The air was thick between them.  His body suddenly ached to kiss her.  Her parted lips invited him to close the gap between them.  His heart yearned for just a taste of her.  It would be so easy to just lean over and take.  Before he could help himself, he focused on her pink lips and started moving towards her.  Jane’s eyes widened as she found herself leaning towards him.  They were a breath away from their lips touching when Jason jolted back to the present.  What was he doing?  She was wearing a ring, not a wedding ring but, as she confirmed, an engagement ring.  She was off limits and, if Jason was being honest with himself, she had been seven years ago. 

He jerked back and murmured, “We’d better get back.”  He dropped the picture into the box and left the room to put it up.

              Jane’s emotions were raw
.  What just happened here?  He almost kissed me.  I almost kissed him.  This can’t happen.  Not again
. 

“Ready?” Jason asked as he grabbed their coats and headed for the door.  Jane followed, deep in thought.  Even though she was annoyed that he had brought her to the brink of a kiss, she was even more annoyed with herself for wanting it.

CHAPTER TWO

Jane’s office was bustling.  She was finishing up another project before focusing again on CARL.  Her associates were watching her fly from one place to another—the file cabinet, the drafting table, the phone, out to her assistant, and back again.  The woman was a ball of energy.  She voiced instructions and questions hurriedly as if she had consumed the entire coffee supply of the 15
th
floor.

Sally worked like a madwoman to keep up with Jane.  Not shy in the least, she had asked Jane several times, “Where’s the fire?” 

Jane had explained the need to get this work done quickly, which was a lie.  She couldn’t tell them the real reason for her burst of energy. 

Jason. 

He filtered in and out of her thoughts all afternoon.  What were the odds of running into each other like this?  Did it mean anything?  No, no, no.  She would not get sidetracked by the man she once loved.  Just because her insides were like jelly, just because she felt lighter than air, she would not let thoughts of him distract her.

When five o’clock came, Patterson Agency employees gave a sigh of relief.  Jane was amazed how quickly they packed everything up and deserted her.  Sally was the last to leave.

“I’m going now, Jane . . . unless there’s something else you’d like me to do.”

“Well, I . .” seeing the imploring look in Sally’s eyes she said, “No.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Joyful that her workday was finally over, Sally said, “Right.  I’m so excited.  I’ve got a big date tonight.  You never know.  This could be the one!”

The one.  Jane had once believed in “the one.”  No longer.  No, she was going to settle for comfortable and easy.  Looking down at her engagement ring, she thought about Ed, working hard at a meeting tonight.  She wondered if he thought about her.  He would probably call when he got home to check in with her. 

Comfortable and easy. 

Jane sighed and then loaded her briefcase with papers and journals to read at home while she ate her frozen dinner.  Then she’d take a bubble bath, her one indulgence of the day, and settle into bed with more paperwork to read.  That was her plan for the evening. 

Jane walked the three blocks over to catch the subway to her upper Westside neighborhood and then relaxed in a seat as she was whisked uptown.  The streetlights were on as she emerged from the subway and headed north. Walking up to her building always made her happy.  She had made her home all by herself.  She was proud of the “shabby chic” décor of her apartment.  Of course, Ed had insisted that when they married they would move to a more socially acceptable neighborhood.  Well, they hadn’t set a date and she still had hopes of showing him what a wonderful neighborhood she had. 

Walking into the small flat made her instantly feel at home.  Quilts made by her grandmother were scattered on chairs and in glass fronted cabinets, giving a vivid splash of color.  The upholstered couch was a sunshiny yellow with daisies printed on it.  Dried flowers were scattered in small glass containers to bring a little bit of nature inside during the long winter.  How could she not love this room?

Dropping her briefcase on the coffee table, Jane walked to the kitchen to cook her meal.  She shed her coat and suit jacket as she went.  The microwave buzzed away as she got a diet cola and sat down at the tiny kitchen table. 

She could not get Jason Collins out of her mind.  How did she feel about working with him?  At one time he had been her entire world.  She couldn’t make it through the day without talking to him.  He could make her laugh, think, enjoy, and feel.  Especially feel.  Jason had been a considerate and exciting boyfriend. 

Boyfriend.  It sounded so juvenile now. 

Just face it, she told herself.  There are still lots of emotions involved when it comes to Jason Collins.  Jane sighed.  She picked up the phone to make a call.

“Tom, guess who I ran into today.  Go ahead guess, you’ll never guess,” she said into the phone.  Then not giving him a chance to respond she said, “Jason Collins.”

“Really.  Where’d you see him?”

“At the presentation.  Get this.  He’s the president of Talbot Toys.  Is that incredible or what?”  She tried to keep the nerves out of her voice.

“Definitely incredible.  You had no idea?”

“None!  I can’t believe I didn’t know.  I mean, we did our research on the company.  I suppose I saw that the head of the company’s name was Collins but I never thought it would be Jason.”

“So, how’d it go seeing him after all this time?” Tom said coolly.

Jane thought for a second and then replied, “Awkward.  Very awkward.  He’s changed, Tom.  He seems to be a very hard, cold man now.”

Thinking it wise not to comment Tom asked, “Are you going to see him again?”

“I don’t know.  If Talbot Toys decides to hire us I’ll be working with him.  He took me to lunch to ask me if it would be a problem working together.  At the time, I didn’t think it would be and I made this big speech about how professional I was and how I could do a kick butt job, but now I just don’t know.  Maybe I should excuse myself from this account.  It may bring back some bad memories.”  Her voice began to thicken.

“Honey, that’s all in the past.”

“But what if he ever found out?  It was hard enough going through it the first time.  I don’t think I could relive it.”  Unwanted tears started to stream down Jane’s cheeks.

Tom spoke softly and compassionately.  “Sis, nothing about the past needs to come out.  This is business, right?”

She sniffed.  “Right.”

“What happened a long time ago is over, right?”

She sighed.  “Right.”

Tom felt for his sister.  He remembered how sick Jane had been.  How scared he had been for her.  But yet, she needed to confront Jason, finish the past.  Even if a few wounds were opened again.  So, Tom decided to hit Jane where it hurt.  “Of course, if you don’t think you can handle it—”

Jane’s pride and determination kicked in.  “Of course I can handle it!” she said without a moment’s hesitation. 

Tom chuckled.  He knew that his sister could never back down from a challenge.  “You told me yourself what a big opportunity this was for you.  I can’t believe you’d even hesitate even with your history with Jason.”

“You’re right.  This project has nothing to do with us.  It’s my intention to make the CARL project the greatest success of the next Christmas season.  And I’ll do it because I’m talented, creative, and it’s my time.”

“That’s my girl.  You give it all you got, okay?  And who knows.  You may not have to see Jason that much,” Tom said as he hid a grin.

Jane wasn’t sure why but she was a little down at that possibility, but instead said, “Well, that’s a bright spot.”

“Or you may decide that he’s not such a bad guy after all.”  Tom’s other phone line began to ring.  “Oh, gotta bounce, kid.  I’ll talk to you later.”  Tom ended the call, laughing to himself.  Yes, it was time those two got back together and cleared the air.  The fireworks of the fourth would be nothing compared to this.

Strange.  She didn’t think of Jason as a bad guy, did she?  Even so, why was Tom defending him after what happened?  She attributed it to Tom’s admiration of Jason.  They had always been good friends and he had been incensed at how things had ended.  That had to be it.

It was all probably a moot point.  Jane’s agency might not even get the account.  Then there would be no contact.  It had been . . . nice to see Jason, even briefly, but after today they’d probably never run across each other again. 

The phone rang just as Jane was getting up.  “Hi Jane.  We had a break in our meetings and I thought I’d call to see how you were.”

“Ed!  I’m glad you called.  Listen, I was thinking—“

“How did your presentation go today?  Did you get the toy company account?”

“Um, I don’t know.  No one will know for at least another week.  Ed, do you suppose—“

“Well, I want to hear the moment you know.  I know you’ll get it, Jane.”  Ed’s voice dropped down to a low, breathy whisper.  “We’ll have to celebrate.”

“Thanks for that vote of confidence.  Could we maybe meet tonight for a late dinner or a drink when you’re finished?  I’d really like to see you.”

“Jane, sweetheart.  You sound depressed.  You don’t think it went well today?”

“No, it isn’t that.  It went fine.  It’s just that.  Well, you see I found out that the president of the toy company is a . . . childhood friend.”  I’m not lying, she thought.  Jason had been a good friend, her best friend. 

“Hey, that’s great news.  That might pave the way for your selection.  Unless you parted on difficult terms.”

You don’t know the half of it
.  “I really don’t think it will have any bearing on whether we get the account or not.  It was just a shock, that’s all.  I just wanted to tell you about it tonight.”